Extemporé

Okay so this is the chapter where I start actually feeling like I want to write something... but then from here it starts to slooooowly go downhill, I guess. vv; It doesn\'t get good until later on, and that I have no written yet. I apologise in advance for the lack of yaoi-ness. ;-; But but cute shounen-ai-ness, yes...? And some of the other fiction tags (the M/M and whatnot) come into play... so... yay? Please don\'t kill me. ._.;


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Ch. 4 \"I\'ll never be ready.\"


“Jesus, Henn…” Was the frightened whisper that woke him the next morning. Again with the lethargy and the pain and the whole not wanting to move again at all ever. Quinn’s rib-crushing hug changed that. “We’re… d-dealing with some pretty s-sick bastards here…” he whimpered. Henn shakily lifted his head to look at him. He was crying. Henn had never seen him cry like this before. Quinn inspected Henn more and let out a furious, helpless, weak cry. “For the l-love of god…” he shouted. Henn’s ears fell sharply. Not so loud… “Y-you’re a mess again… and wha… you’re wearing…” He hugged him tight again, his face buried in his dirty hair. And he sobbed. Sobbed like a lost child. “I sw-swear I’ll never sl-sleep…” he muttered, sitting fully and cradling Henn like a baby again. Henn wanted to cry again too. It was so sad. He couldn’t bear this… no torture that anyone could give him was worse than seeing Quinn crying. “Can’t you p-people just le-leave him alone!” He shouted furiously, shaking even worse now. His head lowered, his hair sweeping over Henn’s face. “What… what did they do to you this time, Henn…” he whispered, his grip tightening. Henn shook his head in reply. No… please don’t make me tell you… then you might remember… Quinn brushed the hair out of Henn’s face and sighed shakily, trying to get up from the chair, still holding Henn. He wasn’t going to let him go.
“B-bath… again…” Henn whispered. Quinn nodded.
“I’m.. not going to let you s-stay like this…” he mumbled. “Yo-you’re s-so disgusting… and… and I am, too…” His voice was a whine. Henn noticed that Quinn was getting more personal in his torturings. His ears fell back and his eyes widened. Did… did that mean… sometime he’d…He brought his paws to his eyes and whimpered loudly. No, please no… he told him… Quinn told him, he -promised- him… Quinn promised Henn he’d never have to do that. Not if he didn’t want to. Not until he was ready… Quinn’s attention was immediately on him
“What’s wrong, Henn? A-are you okay?” Henn just stared up at him, entranced by his eyes. They were filled with their magic again… Henn just wanted to stay here in his arms forever. Just kiss him. Be in love with him. He shook his head, wiping the tears out of his eyes.
“I l-love you…” he whimpered. Quinn started to cry again, hugging him tighter so his forehead rested against Henn’s.
“Oh god, Henn… I love you too, I love you too…” he sniffed slightly, shaking his head. “You d-don’t know how much… I can’t even begin to describe how much you mean to me…” Henn believed him. They made it to the bathroom and Quinn had to set Henn down this time. He filled the tub and undressed the both of them, being extremely careful with Henn. He let out a quiet sob, not knowing what to do with the dress. After a moment or two of tearful decision, he shakily lowered it to the floor next to the sink. He then picked Henn up again and got into the water that was hotter than it had been yesterday. Henn heaved a heavy sigh, curling up tightly in Quinn’s arms and lap. He had been so cruel last night… His tail was still tingling. It had been so uncomfortable… He shuddered harshly, which caused Quinn to tighten his grip around him. He felt so insecure… even sitting there in Quinn’s arms. He wasn’t safe. That’s what saddened him and frightened him the most. No matter how close he was to Quinn, until he found out what was going on, he wasn’t safe.
“Do… do you want m-me to wash you…?” Quinn asked him hesitantly. Henn’s ears fell, but he remembered what had happened yesterday; the whole ‘enjoy-it-while-you-can’ thing. He nodded meekly. He shivered as the soap was once again run through his fur. He felt he was even more gross than he had been the night before… And he had gotten it all over Quinn, too… His face flushed deeply and he hung his head in shame.
“I-I’m… s-sorry…” he stuttered, feeling as if Quinn weren’t there to stop him he could have killed himself right now. Quinn shook his head, setting the soap down and taking Henn’s face in his hands. He got so close… their foreheads were touching. It reminded him that he had cut his forehead. Oh well…
“Henn…” Quinn whispered gently. “You have… absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I don’t know who is doing this to you, or why, but they’re the ones that have to be sorry. They’re the ones that need to be forgiven for hurting you. For defiling you.” He was shaking his head again. “Not you.. Never you... Never be sorry, Henn... Never be sorry…”And he kissed him then, moving his hands from his cheeks and wrapping his arms around his neck. Henn had never gotten much experience with kissing. The most he had ever gotten was probably on Valentine’s Day, from Quinn, when it seemed like he wanted to teach him a thing or two but they were both too tired to really get very far. Ahh, Valentine’s Day… just the memory of it put Henn at ease. He had finally, on that day, admitted to Quinn that he loved him. That he was in love with him. And, to his surprise, he found out that he felt the same way. It was... Easily the best day of Henn’s life. He pulled away a little, greeted with a slightly disappointed look from Quinn. He moved his paw to run the back of his digits down Quinn’s cheek, sighing softly.
“Will… will you… t-teach me…?” he murmured. Quinn replied with a strange look. Henn flushed. “How to… kiss you?” To his surprise, Quinn flushed slightly.
“Wh…why…?”
“I.. I want to give… something back to you… give and take, yeah..?” Henn shrugged slightly, and continued. “A-and… it’ll… be good to know… when I.. .get better… won’t it?” Both Quinn and Henn knew that a complete mental recovery from Henn was a dream they’d never see come true. But he did get better, ever so slightly, day by day. He had started making small jokes again, eating on a semi-normal basis, and wasn’t so quiet all the time. When under normal circumstances, his sentences weren’t always slow and laboured anymore, and he didn’t stutter. Quinn gave a weak smile at his words, laughing helplessly; softly.
“Only if you’re ready, Henn. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he murmured, petting through his hair gently, the pets extending just far enough that he brushed his collar. Each gentle touch made Henn shiver slightly. But it was so different from last night. The motion was meant to calm, not corrupt.
“I’ll.. I’ll never be ready…” Henn sighed, shaking his head. “But this is… something that I need to do… I hate it… that you have to be so… careful with me… so by doing this… this is one less thing… that I have to be nervous about. I’ll get used to it.. I’ll get comfortable with it.” Quinn sighed disapprovingly, but gave a nod. He knew Henn was right. If they were going to get anywhere, there were certain things that they’d have to do whether or not Henn was ready for them.