The NEW Elemental Super Heroes!
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
888
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
888
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
One potato, two potato, three potato... Waffle.
One potato two potato three potato… WAFFLE.
“And a one, and a two and a three, and a four and a fi…” Earth was doing jumping jacks.
“and FIRE…” Flame shook her head, “Don’t be doing jumping jacks on your balcony wearing only your waffle at three thirty in the morning Waffle man…” She lit a small fire under his feet.
“Hot… hot potato hot potato!!!” Earth cried, running back into his apartment.
***
”Awwwww, do we have to?” Earth shook his head as the group got into the old ESH van… It was Shadow, Earth, Flame, Ice, Wind and Oompa…
“Because Jolt is still an Elemental, and its only honorary that we go and visit with him.” Ice rolled her eyes, “Besides… Flame made us.”
“I did not.” Flame spat.
Shadow shook his head, “Kids, kids… we are going to visit him, just relax…”
“why is he in the big house again?” Oompa had to ask.
“He tried to kill another Elemental.” Flame shook her head.
… insert pause and timewarp here…
“Hey girlfriends!” Jolt smiled.
“Oh great Goddess, Bunny you turned him GAY!” Ice laughed.
“Honey, I haven’t turned anyone gay, I was just trying to play checkers and backgammon with him… he’s the one that has lately been in my bunk trying to…” the big black man shuddered, “cuddle.”
Earth leaned close, “Good Goddess, he is as gay as springtime.”
Oompa and Shadow just laughed at Jolt…
***
Ice was going to the grocery store… doing her normal shopping. She had the basics, milk, juice… eggs and butter. She thank the Goddess, had been put on hormone replacements, so that her powers weren’t so… obvious. She now could live as normally as a woman with super powers could. Good thing, she was getting sick of eating frozen food…
She was standing in line to check out… talking to the lady in front of her.
She then went outside to put her groceries in her car… then, she saw it.
He was about nineteen, and had a tube extending from his mouth to the tank of a nearby car.
“He’s stealing gasoline! That little fucker.” Ice said, snapping her fingers. Car, tube and boy became massed together… he soon discovered that he was frozen to the car, and this seemed to make him panic.
“Don’t fight it boy, you will only rip skin off.” Ice walked up to him… “Now, be glad that you haven’t run into my friend Flame… or you go boom boy.” She then touched him… “I will unfreeze you, but let this be your lesson.”
Ice walked off and left the boy slightly frozen in place… well, okay, not frozen, hog tied to the hood of the car with a sign on him, “I tried to steal your gasoline, I’m sorry”. She laughed evilly.
***
“Welcome to ‘Miracle of Life’” the soft feminine voice spoke on the television…
Ice’s eye was starting to twitch. She was tied up, arms behind her back, tape over her mouth and on her eyelids…
“Earth… I’d untie her if I were you.” Flame whimpered.
“No! She’s going to be a Mommy, she needs to know what to do. After this, we have all sorts of fun things, like Mr. Mommy and allllllllll the episodes of ‘Birth Day’”
“Earth… her eyes are twitching…” Flame started to slowly back out of the room.
“And then after that we can start watching ‘Surviving Motherhood…” Earth continued.
“We will be lucky to survive the Ice Age that is about to hit…” Flame opened the door and snuck out…
***
“Have you guys seen Earth?” Flame asked later that week…
“No, no…” Wind said, the small group was having coffee. Flame, Ice, Oompa and Wind. Shadow was at work, Storm was on the truck and so was Tempest.
“I still think he’s chilling.” Ice casually said.
***
Earth looked somewhat like the caveman from the movies. His entire body was encased in a block of ice, up in his room, which looked like a cavern in the northern tundra anyways. Nox had somehow managed to get a small space heater and plug it in for him, and the ice was slooooooooowly melting away.
“tank ewww…” Earth tried to talk, hypothermia keeping the boy fresh.
***
‘Hey, Nox, are you alright?’ Rascal sat down outside next to the cat.
‘Hey Ras, I’m just not feeling well is all’ Nox looked a little sick.
‘You look sort of like Mom talks about feeling’ Rascal placed her tail on the shoulder of the feline.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Nox tilts her head cutely with a little purrt.
‘She’s expecting puppies.’
‘GREAT, I can’t have puppies!!!’ Nox shook her head.
‘I think it’d be kittens for you.’ Rascal smiles, ‘but they’d be cute!’
‘Great, just what the fuck we need… more ninjas, like we need her reproducing!’ Physco shook his head.
‘Hey now, be ni… where’d she go?’ Rascal looked around for the feline. Physco was tied to a tree by a neighbor girl’s jumprope.
‘That’s not funny!’ Physco pulled and tried to get free.
‘That’s hilarious.’ Nox smiles, walking over to Rascal, ‘I just hope you are wrong.’
‘We will know soon enough’ Physco called out, ‘if you look like you swallowed a cantaloupe tomorrow, we will know.’
Nox hissed at Physco, who shut up.
***
((Authoress Note: FOUR chapters in one night. That’s it, I’ve done a good job tonight. And yes… that is another bit of a plot… did Ice just find out that not all good deeds need to go noticed? She feels much better about herself, and she didn’t have to do that… wow… what’s in the future for the plot?
What about that Oompa?
What about the Nox? Is she pregnant?
Coming soon!
*insert dramatic music here*
“Maaaaaaaaaan… I knew we were still friends Leaf!” Earth was higher than a kite, currently orbiting Neptune.
“Hit it and quit it, puff it and pass it, Earthy…” Leaf smiled.
“Just what we need… Earth with MUNCHIES!” Flame groans.
Earth rolled another blunt… “Light me up babe…”
Flame smirks, “Ooooooookay…”
“And a one, and a two and a three, and a four and a fi…” Earth was doing jumping jacks.
“and FIRE…” Flame shook her head, “Don’t be doing jumping jacks on your balcony wearing only your waffle at three thirty in the morning Waffle man…” She lit a small fire under his feet.
“Hot… hot potato hot potato!!!” Earth cried, running back into his apartment.
***
”Awwwww, do we have to?” Earth shook his head as the group got into the old ESH van… It was Shadow, Earth, Flame, Ice, Wind and Oompa…
“Because Jolt is still an Elemental, and its only honorary that we go and visit with him.” Ice rolled her eyes, “Besides… Flame made us.”
“I did not.” Flame spat.
Shadow shook his head, “Kids, kids… we are going to visit him, just relax…”
“why is he in the big house again?” Oompa had to ask.
“He tried to kill another Elemental.” Flame shook her head.
… insert pause and timewarp here…
“Hey girlfriends!” Jolt smiled.
“Oh great Goddess, Bunny you turned him GAY!” Ice laughed.
“Honey, I haven’t turned anyone gay, I was just trying to play checkers and backgammon with him… he’s the one that has lately been in my bunk trying to…” the big black man shuddered, “cuddle.”
Earth leaned close, “Good Goddess, he is as gay as springtime.”
Oompa and Shadow just laughed at Jolt…
***
Ice was going to the grocery store… doing her normal shopping. She had the basics, milk, juice… eggs and butter. She thank the Goddess, had been put on hormone replacements, so that her powers weren’t so… obvious. She now could live as normally as a woman with super powers could. Good thing, she was getting sick of eating frozen food…
She was standing in line to check out… talking to the lady in front of her.
She then went outside to put her groceries in her car… then, she saw it.
He was about nineteen, and had a tube extending from his mouth to the tank of a nearby car.
“He’s stealing gasoline! That little fucker.” Ice said, snapping her fingers. Car, tube and boy became massed together… he soon discovered that he was frozen to the car, and this seemed to make him panic.
“Don’t fight it boy, you will only rip skin off.” Ice walked up to him… “Now, be glad that you haven’t run into my friend Flame… or you go boom boy.” She then touched him… “I will unfreeze you, but let this be your lesson.”
Ice walked off and left the boy slightly frozen in place… well, okay, not frozen, hog tied to the hood of the car with a sign on him, “I tried to steal your gasoline, I’m sorry”. She laughed evilly.
***
“Welcome to ‘Miracle of Life’” the soft feminine voice spoke on the television…
Ice’s eye was starting to twitch. She was tied up, arms behind her back, tape over her mouth and on her eyelids…
“Earth… I’d untie her if I were you.” Flame whimpered.
“No! She’s going to be a Mommy, she needs to know what to do. After this, we have all sorts of fun things, like Mr. Mommy and allllllllll the episodes of ‘Birth Day’”
“Earth… her eyes are twitching…” Flame started to slowly back out of the room.
“And then after that we can start watching ‘Surviving Motherhood…” Earth continued.
“We will be lucky to survive the Ice Age that is about to hit…” Flame opened the door and snuck out…
***
“Have you guys seen Earth?” Flame asked later that week…
“No, no…” Wind said, the small group was having coffee. Flame, Ice, Oompa and Wind. Shadow was at work, Storm was on the truck and so was Tempest.
“I still think he’s chilling.” Ice casually said.
***
Earth looked somewhat like the caveman from the movies. His entire body was encased in a block of ice, up in his room, which looked like a cavern in the northern tundra anyways. Nox had somehow managed to get a small space heater and plug it in for him, and the ice was slooooooooowly melting away.
“tank ewww…” Earth tried to talk, hypothermia keeping the boy fresh.
***
‘Hey, Nox, are you alright?’ Rascal sat down outside next to the cat.
‘Hey Ras, I’m just not feeling well is all’ Nox looked a little sick.
‘You look sort of like Mom talks about feeling’ Rascal placed her tail on the shoulder of the feline.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Nox tilts her head cutely with a little purrt.
‘She’s expecting puppies.’
‘GREAT, I can’t have puppies!!!’ Nox shook her head.
‘I think it’d be kittens for you.’ Rascal smiles, ‘but they’d be cute!’
‘Great, just what the fuck we need… more ninjas, like we need her reproducing!’ Physco shook his head.
‘Hey now, be ni… where’d she go?’ Rascal looked around for the feline. Physco was tied to a tree by a neighbor girl’s jumprope.
‘That’s not funny!’ Physco pulled and tried to get free.
‘That’s hilarious.’ Nox smiles, walking over to Rascal, ‘I just hope you are wrong.’
‘We will know soon enough’ Physco called out, ‘if you look like you swallowed a cantaloupe tomorrow, we will know.’
Nox hissed at Physco, who shut up.
***
((Authoress Note: FOUR chapters in one night. That’s it, I’ve done a good job tonight. And yes… that is another bit of a plot… did Ice just find out that not all good deeds need to go noticed? She feels much better about herself, and she didn’t have to do that… wow… what’s in the future for the plot?
What about that Oompa?
What about the Nox? Is she pregnant?
Coming soon!
*insert dramatic music here*
“Maaaaaaaaaan… I knew we were still friends Leaf!” Earth was higher than a kite, currently orbiting Neptune.
“Hit it and quit it, puff it and pass it, Earthy…” Leaf smiled.
“Just what we need… Earth with MUNCHIES!” Flame groans.
Earth rolled another blunt… “Light me up babe…”
Flame smirks, “Ooooooookay…”