More than Anyone

She needed to stop thinking about him for it only angered her and confused her further. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he sided with Sophia. Just the way he looked upon her, Olivia should have expected that he would have dropped to his knees and pledged eternal loyalty to her sister. It was the usual reaction when a new man met Sophia for the first time. She really should have foreseen what Ben would have done upon meeting her for what he had done was what she had exactly expected. He had turned his back on her and for some reason, watching Ben and Sophia make their way to the escalators, she felt as if she could no longer breathe. Sammy though, for only being five years old, was wonderfully perceptive of his older sister’s sudden sadness, almost in an unsettling matter and after Ben had handed him his pretzel, the boy had yawned and asked Olivia if they could go home. She would have bought him anything he could have asked for in that moment and her love and gratitude for her brother only blossomed more when, once they were outside, he asked if he had done a good job.

Shaking her head slightly, hoping to rid her mind of all thoughts that consisted of Ben Norfolk, Olivia opened the top drawer of her desk and pulled out a worn composition notebook. Opening to a fresh page, she sucked on the cap of her pen for a moment, deep in thought regarding other matters. Then, turning to the window and resting the notebook in her lap, she began to work on her newest list.

Things to do:

She wrote at the top, in all capital letters and then underlining it twice. She then took a moment’s pause before continuing.

1. Take Sammy to the aquarium

Sammy adored the aquarium. As a five-year-old boy, he had a slight obsession with sharks but after his little acting display at the Water Tower two days before had earned him a trip to Shedd’s Aquarium ten times over. She would go to her parents’ home that weekend and treat him. He adored coming into the city, riding the ‘L’ train and staring in amazement at the constant wondrous sights of Chicago.

2. Call Violet

The second one made her smile just at the mere words of it. Oh, how she missed her best friend. She wished that it was possible for her and Jamie to move back to the states but she knew that was nearly impossible. Jamie had his dream job in London, teaching an Origins of the English Novel class for students who studied abroad through the University of Chicago. And each time Olivia spoke to Violet, she couldn’t help but hear just how truly happy Violet was living in England. Jamie had bought them a tiny house in a quiet neighborhood with a yard for Selby, their Bloodhound, to run around in, and room for Violet to have the flower garden she had always wanted. And when they spoke, Violet gushed of trips she and Jamie took on the week-ends, driving out to the countryside and while Selby chased birds, Jamie and Violet made plans for their baby. Whenever Violet spoke of her life, Olivia almost cried. It was a life she had always envisioned for herself as well though living in a different country had never appealed to her.

3. Call Toby

She sighed. Toby had left seven voice-messages on her phone in three days and she hadn’t returned a single one. She wasn’t sure why either. Normally, she would have leapt at the chance to speak with him but she actually hadn’t spoken to him face to face since her birthday. In all honesty, he thought she was avoiding him and he was absolutely right. He sounded a little bit wounded over the phone though she almost told him that he had no right to be. He had made it abundantly clear time and time again, whenever he brought a new girl around to flounce under her nose, that she would be nothing more to him than Olivia Grange, best friend extraordinaire. She was actually surprised that he had known exactly when the last time was that they had spoken in person.

Olivia turned back towards her desk, jumping slightly upon seeing none other than Toby Reese sitting in the chair across from her, a mischievous grin across his face. Her hand flew to her throat and he chuckled as she exhaled deeply.

“You son of a bitch,” she gasped. “You scared the shit out of me, Toby!”

He laughed from deep in his throat. “I’m sorry, Liv. I juts couldn’t resist it when I stepped off the elevator and saw your back to me.”

Olivia quickly, yet inconspicuously, closed her notebook so he would not see her list. Toby, of everyone, teased her most mercilessly for keeping lists as a hobby. “What are you doing here?” She asked, hoping he did not take offense to her less than thrilled tone. He noticed it and his smile drooped ever so slightly. She felt immediately guilty and she sighed softly, running her fingers through her hair in a moment of frustration. “I’m sorry, Toby. I just... I wasn’t expecting you. That’s all.”

His grin returned and he nodded his head, slinking lower in the chair. “I know. You’re never expecting me anymore considering you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I haven’t...” she began to deny but she was quiet as he shook his head, raising his hand as if to silence her.

“It’s alright,” he said, hoping his tone sounded nonchalant. He shrugged. “Let me tell you. Going to Humpy’s alone is quite the experience.”

“I’m sure you never leave alone though.”

Toby laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, Liv. You should really check your messages more so you would know better than to make comments like that. I have such news.” Her brow furrowed and her frown deepened. He smiled. “I’m getting married.”

She nearly fell from her chair and as she looked upon him, she opened her mouth several times yet no sound could be brought forth from her throat. She resembled a gaping fish on a line, gasping its gills for desperate water. “What?” She finally managed to sputter at him. “You are getting married? You?”

He snickered then smiled broadly. “Yes, me.” He shook his head. “Who can believe it?”

“Who is she?” Olivia asked, finding herself still unable to breathe properly. He was getting married? Toby Reese had sworn off lifetime commitment after Harry had gone and gotten married. According to Toby, getting married was the dumbest thing a person could do, binding themselves to one other person for the rest of their lives. It was unnatural. It was in human behavior to roam and wander and experience- not willingly attach a chain to their ankle. And now he was getting married? She prayed that she wouldn’t cry in front of him at such news. She really would fall apart if he felt pity towards her.

“Her name is Sadie and I met her...” he trailed off with a sigh as his thoughts wandered to those of his fiancée. “I met her at my lowest point in life. I was running through Lincoln Park in the morning like I always do, after a night of drinking and waking up with some girl I didn’t even remember, and she came at me through the dawn mist. I collided into her for I, as usual, was not paying attention and we fell to the ground. And I looked into her eyes and I knew that she was the one.”

Olivia managed to nod her head though she did not know how. She felt as if her heart was crumbling beneath her breast. Toby was getting married and it was not to her. She blinked quickly to keep from crying and she formed the smallest of all smiles on her lips, praying that Toby would not observe the quivering to it. She looked up to see Harry rushing up to her door, panting heavily as if he had raced up from the eleventh floor photo department before Toby could tell her. Well, he certainly was most too late to avert such an announcement. Toby followed her eyes and grinned upon seeing his best friend in the door, leaning against the frame and catching his breath. Toby stood up, slapping Harry on the shoulders.

“Ah! My best man!” Toby announced. “And always, the better man.”

“You told her,” Harry wheezed, glaring at Toby through narrowed eyes. If he wasn’t in his place of work, he would have punched his best friend in the jaw so fast, Toby would have been on the floor before he even realized that it had been Harry to display such an act of violence upon him. He knew Toby meant well and that he was excited He would never purposely hurt her but that was exactly what he was doing with his announcement.

“Yes,” Toby nodded his head. “I’ve told her. And have rendered her speechless for she is in shock with the news. Much like my mother was.” He smiled at her. “Livi, Sadie wants to meet you and ask you herself but she wants you to be in the wedding party as one of her bridesmaids.”

Olivia stood up, nodding her head dumbly. Quickly averting her eyes as tears burned and threatened to fall, exposing her pain in turn, she grabbed her jacket and purse. Maid. That was all she was to everyone around her. She would never be anything more. Perhaps it was time to quit aspiring for something more. At a certain age, it just became too silly to have such dreams as hers. As a child, she spoke like a child, acted like a child, thought like a child but when she became a woman, she put away childish things. Or something like that. She never paid attention in Sunday school. “I have to go,” she said quietly. Toby had not been wrong. She most certainly was in shock. “Bye, Toby,” she bid farewell, kissing his cheek chastely and reminding herself that nothing more would ever come of it. He was getting married. Violet was married. Harry was married. And she didn’t even have a goldfish to keep her company. No. The most fun she had anymore was hanging out with her five-year-old brother though it left her with a dull pain in her chest as she thought of never having children of her own and that fateful Sunday when she had seen “King Kong”. She didn’t like to think of that day though for it led to thinking of other things and Ben Norfolk was not worth such time or thoughts. “Bye, Harry,” she said, kissing his cheek as well. She knew he wanted to speak. She could see it in his eyes but she shook her head slightly, forbidding him to comment on any of what had just come to pass. She would deal with it on her own in her own way.

She did not remember leaving work or taking the ‘L’ home for she walked in a daze. The city lived on around her, never interfering with her world of the numb. She stopped though upon approaching her home. She was not up for this today, especially with her cheeks soaked with tears and her chest gasping for a relief that would never come. Ben sat there, his elbows jabbed on his knees and his head in his hands. The sight of him almost made her cry harder. He should not be there. She had no heart left in her to feel worse than she already did.

Ben heard her coming and lifted his head to make sure that it was her. At the sight of her, he jumped to his feet though he found himself unable to stop staring as he laid eyes upon her condition. “What happened?” He asked, almost in a panic. He had been sitting out there for almost an hour, not knowing when she would come home from work. He had prepared himself to sit out there for hours if hours is what it took for her to return.

Olivia shook her head, closing her eyes. She tried to move past him but Ben stopped her, gripping her upper arms. “What, Ben?” She exclaimed. If he wanted a reaction from her, he was damn well going to get one and he better prepare himself. “Why are you here? Are you having problems with Sophia already and need my advice? Well, fuck you!” She didn’t care if they were standing out on the sidewalk where anyone’s ears could hear her words. She didn’t care anymore.

If Ben was stung by her words, he did not falter in the least. “Olivia...” he trailed off quietly. “I’m sorry,” he apologized and she instantly stopped struggling to be released. He stared at her, his stomach dropping and his chest seizing up at the sight of her tears. Lord, she was a sight. He hadn’t thought of anything but her since that incident with Sophia in Water Tower. Never had he felt so horrible over his actions. Surely, his mother, if she had been a witness, would have boxed his ears for it. He had to commend Sammy though on a job well done and worthy of an Oscar. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.”

Olivia stared at him in disbelief and then she sniffled, it ripping through his heart. She shook her head. “Ben, let me go,” she whispered, her voice raw from crying.

He shook his head, tightening his grip on her arms for affect. “I canna let you go, Olivia,” he said softly in his accent. “I willna let you go until you hear all of my apologies.”

She closed her eyes again. “I’m tired, Ben. And standing out here for hours while you apologize for everything you’ve ever done to me will surely have me collapse with exhaustion.”

He chuckled at that, not believing how grateful he was to hear the sharp of her tongue. As long as she could still make such responses towards him, he knew that not all was lost. Whatever had happened to her that day, she would be fine. “I’m sorry,” he said once more, releasing her arms.

It was a strange thing what a grieving heart would allow. Olivia didn’t stop Ben from following her into the foyer of the apartment building and she didn’t tell him to go as she collected her day’s mail. And she didn’t even send him away as she walked upstairs to her apartment and he followed on her heels, almost afraid to let her out of his sight in case she was so far into her despair that she wound up doing something drastic. It was as if she didn’t want to be alone and the subconscious of her mind knew that far before she would come to accept such a thing. She would never find comfort or company in Ben. But nonetheless, he sat himself down on one of the stools at her breakfast bar and watched apprehensively as she opened the mail with a letter opener. He was still growing accustomed to tears coming from Olivia Grange and he was certain that he would never get used to it. He hoped that no more occasions would arise in her life that needed tears.

He thought such a thought too soon it seemed though for she gasped suddenly, her hand covering her opened mouth and she stared down at the piece of paper in her other hand. Whatever it was that she read upon that paper was nothing good. He stood up slowly, hesitantly putting a hand on her shoulder. “Olivia?” He spoke gently, quietly, not wishing to be the provoker of more heart-wrenching emotions from her.

“I can’t go to England,” she gasped, still staring in disbelief. She turned to Ben, looking at him as she never had before. She didn’t see Ben Norfolk, sworn enemy. She only saw Ben, potential comforter and guardian of her from the outside world at the moment.

“Why not?” He asked, still talking in that unbelievably gentle tone. He had never spoken to her that way before, not until she cut her knee and he played the role of dutiful nurse.

She unexpectedly laughed, a bitter laugh that only made her cry again. “I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, this just falls into the category of what else. First, you and Sophia, and then Toby’s getting married and now, I can’t go to England, which has always been my dream to travel and right when I thought I’d be able to cross something off my list, I find out that I can’t go!”

Half of what she was saying wasn’t making any sense to him but he caught the jest of most of it. She was having a very shitty week. “Why can’t you go to England?” He asked again, much softer.

She sighed then handed him her monthly credit card bill. He stared down at it as if he had never seen one before and she didn’t know that he hadn’t. His father’s financial advisor while he had been alive was now Ben’s and he was the one who received every bill that Ben charged up. He stared at it, deciphering it. Olivia frowned slightly. He didn’t have a line of credit? Her mother always warned her that men without stable forms of income were men not worth depending on or even getting close to. “Don’t you see?” She asked and he shook his head honestly. She almost sighed with exasperation. “Ben, I was depending on that credit card for my trip. I barely afforded the plane ticket to get over there. Now, when I get over there, I won’t have any money. I didn’t realize that the bill was going to be so high for this month and now...” she paused to remain composed, even if it was just slightly. “I’m broke, Ben.”

Even if he, himself, had never suffered through such a thing, he knew well enough what it was. Jamie had complained of the same thing on more than one occasion but had always refused the help Ben offered. Apparently, broke people were also very proud people. He had to do something about it. When Olivia had confessed that going to England had been her dream, his heart went out to her. He understood all about having dreams, things that seemed to impossible to become true. From the look in her eye, it looked as if she was about to give up on that dream, too which floored him. He had never seen Olivia Grange so willing to sit down and take it. The first time he had seen her completely submissive had been around Sophia and yet, there she was again, about to let her dream slip from her grasp when it was so close, she could almost touch it.

“I could help,” he spoke before he could think the plan through more.

She stared at him with perplexity. “You want to help me?” She frowned. “How?”

He sighed. He hated to lie but he didn’t know if he could tell the truth yet. “Do you know the hotel ‘The North Star’?” He asked and she nodded her head slowly. “Well, a very close friend of mine owns it so I always get a complimentary room. There’s one in London and I know that it will be no problem to give you a room for free.”

She looked at him wearily. “What about food?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, biting his tongue to keep from just offering her as much money as she needed. He admitted that throwing money at the problem was how he always fixed it. And appalled at Sophia for the treatment of Olivia and appalled at himself for not having done anything about it, paying for her to go to England was his way of apologizing. Most women would jump at the chance for him to give an all expense paid trip to somewhere but he already knew well enough that Olivia was not like most women in the least. He sighed. “I can help out. I want to,” he corrected himself quickly. “With whatever you need.” He turned and stared at her dead in the eyes. “I will get you to London,” he swore to her. “I promise you, Olivia.”

She stared at him for a moment, almost considering his offer, but then she shook her head, stepping away from him. “No, Ben,” she whispered. “I need to get myself to London. I need to do this on my own.”

Ben stared at her with hard eyes. “Then you will never see London and we both know that, Olivia.”

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Wow. I’m flattered and honored with so many reviews. I love you guys and I’m so happy that you love this story. Please. Keep reviewing! Now, just to answer some of the reviews that have been left for me.

Eggman: I’m sorry about “Hands Down”. I will finish it eventually. I promise.

nesl247: I love you and thank you for the e-mail you sent me. It made my day.

StoryJunkie: If you want to want to make a contest out of reviewing more than anyone, I’m totally all for that.

Shanna: What Eggman meant about “Hands Down” was that it’s currently on hiatus since all creativity for that story has left me. I’ll finish it though eventually.

As See On TV: I’m sorry you don’t like Olivia. Hopefully, she’ll become more appealing to you as the story gets on.

Anon: Can I just say that I love it when you put song lyrics and direct them towards my stories? And Miss Independent is the perfect song for Olivia and I didn’t even realize it.

Megan: Thanks for constantly reviewing twice. I love you for it!

fili: I wasn’t planning on doing a Harry story because I kind of already did his. I mentioned his and Anne’s relationship in “Better Together”, chap. 9. So if you want a little background, you can find it there.

LKN: All will be well. Soon. But not too soon.

southern: About the milk and water analogy, I used that one instead of oil and water for reasons that will be revealed later.

To everyone else, I adore your reviews and can't wait for more of your insights and opinions!