Devil May Love

"Gaibriel."

Gaibriel smiled up at the blonde man leaning over him. His full lips smiled back at him.

"Gaibriel."

"Hey, Jullien," Gaibriel responded sleepily.

"Gaibriel if you don't wake up now I’m sending you to the guidance counselor."

Gaibriel’s head snapped up quickly, all sleepiness gone. He'd fallen asleep in class again. Blushing, he muttered an apology to his English teacher. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Talk to me after class." Walking back to the middle of the room, she continued her lecture about Hamlet.

Gaibriel rubbed his eyes roughly and made him self sit up straighter. He hadn't slept well last night. Or any this week to be honest. Not since that night... Gaibriel shook his head softly. He'd vowed to stop thinking about Jullien yesterday. Unfortunately, his subconscious wasn't so easily swayed. Dreams, nightmares, daydreams and random thoughts and wonderings had plagued him since that night. If they weren't about Jullien himself, they were about something they'd talked about that night. At first it was just an annoyance but after a week of sleepless nights, it was starting to interfere with his concentration. He never fell asleep in class, and especially never in English.

The bell rang and Gaibriel had to quickly scribble his homework down. He packed his books up and walked nervously to the teacher’s desk.

Looking up at him, she folded her arms on her desk and leaned forward. "Gaibriel, you are my best student hands down. But this is the sixth time this week that you've fallen asleep in my class and the second time I’ve heard you say the name Jullien. Now, I don't know who this person is and I really don't want to know. But I suggest you not let them get in the way of school like this."

"Yes, Mrs. Baker."

"Here's a note in case you’re late for your next class."

"Thanks." Taking the note, Gaibriel didn’t get in much of a rush making his way to his next class. It was gym of all things. He hated gym. Everyone laughed at him. He wasn’t exactly Hercules. The coach had said they would be playing soccer again today... Gaibriel brainstormed his way to the gym. This was going to call for some acting...

Opening the door, Gabriel broke into a run, dashing down the stairs quickly. At the last few, he stubbed his toe on the back of his other foot and sent himself falling onto the floor. The coach bought it hook, line and sinker and rushed over to him.

"Oh my goodness, Gaibriel! Are you okay?" He rolled Gaibriel over, his eyes searching the boy’s face.

Gaibriel winced, biting his lip. "I think so... my ankle hurts."

"Here, try to stand." The coach stood, and offered his hand to Gaibriel. Taking it, he made his way slowly to his feet. When he put pressure on his left foot, he winced again and cried out softly. The coach quickly wrapped an arm around his waist and supported his weight on that side. "Hold your foot out and see if you can move it."

Gaibriel did so, wincing only a little. If he played it up too much, the coach might think it was broken. He was just aiming for a mild sprain.

"It hurts a little but I can move it fine."

The coach nodded. “It’s probably just a sprain then. Do you think you can walk on it?"

Gaibriel attempted to walk again, and repeated his earlier actions. He shook his head, biting his lip again, pretending to be holding back cries of pain.

The coach nodded. "Ok... You should rest it up for a little while. I'll give you this period to sit in the locker room with some ice on it. After that, I'll give you a brace to use. Try to walk on it today to your classes. Work it out. I'll give you a note in case you're late to anything."

Gaibriel nodded. "Thank you, Coach."

"Stay in the locker room, you hear me? And keep the ice pack on it. I'm only letting you stay in there because you're such a good student. Come on, let's get you set up."

Gaibriel felt a small stab of guilt. He hated to have to lie like that, especially when people commented on how nice he was. He'd come up with a way to make up for it tomorrow. He needed the rest too much. His math teacher, while very nice, was strict and he wasn't too great at math anyway. It was one of the few classes he actually had to pay attention in.

He stayed quiet as the coach told him to lie down on one of the locker room’s benches and propped his foot up with a backpack. He wrapped Gaibriel’s ankle in a towel, put an ice pack over it, then wrapped it again with another towel. After warning him it was going to get very cold and telling him not to take it off, he left.

Gaibriel waited a few minutes, then sat up and took the towels and ice pack off his ankle. Sighing, he rubbed his face roughly and stood up. He paced for a few moments, thinking to himself.

He’d only had such a rough week because of that one night... He'd only spent about an hour in the blonde man’s presence. How could one hour effect him so much? Gaibriel shook his head. It didn't make any sense. He saw beautiful people daily. At times, school itself was like a beauty pageant. For the girls and the boys. And it wasn’t like some of the teachers there were good looking as well.

Gaibriel felt bad for a moment to be thinking like that. If his father knew... Gaibriel sat back down, staring at the floor. But then, his father wasn't here... His heart was pounding. He'd never thought like that before... but it made sense. His father wasn’t here. He had no control over Gaibriel's thoughts here.... And as long as nothing left this locker room.

Gaibriel stood again, his heart pounding even faster. Why the hell was he thinking like this? He'd never done it before... until the night... with that man...

Gaibriel had to admit Jullien was beautiful. No matter how you looked at it, he seemed to radiate a presence. And Gaibriel liked it. Just being near him. Looking at him...

The next thought hit Gaibriel so hard; he flopped back down on the bench hard. Was he... maybe he was gay like Jullien. Gaibriel's eyebrows furrowed in thought. It was possible... He'd heard that your sexuality was something you were born with, not something you chose to be. And that made sense to him. After all, he definitely couldn't control being attracted to Jullien that night. He just was.

But how would he know if he were gay or not? He’d thought a few girls were pretty too... Not many, but a few. Like Samantha in biology class... she was pretty cute. But she didn't effect him like Jullien did and they were lab partners.

Gaibriel remembered when he still talked with Will back in freshman year... Will have been struggling with his own sexuality then, much to an embarrassed Gaibriel’s dismay. Will had asked some other people and they told him that sexuality came down to... well, sex. While love was different, sexuality was about whom you wanted to ravage in bed. A point that also made sense to Gaibriel. Like will had said, he loved his cat, but he didn’t want to sleep with him. His sexuality wasn’t geared towards cats... But it was kind of geared towards this guy in his English class. When Gaibriel had asked what Will planned to do find out if he was or not, Will's answer had made him blush something fierce.

Will would be taking the advice of the people he’d asked in the first place. They told him there was a pretty simple way to find out. One night, start thinking about this guy. Picture him smiling, laughing, throwing an arm around your shoulders, and rubbing your back idly... Then picture him hugging you, caressing your back, kissing your neck softly, hands moving down to your hips and pulling you closer. Let it go on from there. If you find that these thoughts and images lead you to masturbate, do so. See how it feels, how your body reacts to the thought of sex with this boy involved. Then another night does the same thing, except make it a girl. If you're able to do both, you're most likely bisexual. If just one, then you have your answer. They’d also said that this was no substitute for the real thing and the only way to know for sure was to actually have sex with someone. No matter what, your body would not lie to you.

Gaibriel had never found out Will's results. His father had made them stop talking not long after that happened and then Will moved away. Gaibriel thought for a few long minutes... He'd agreed that the test had made sense. And now, seeing how he himself was unable to control attraction, it seemed to make even more sense. But could he actually do something like that?

After a few moments of thought, Gaibriel knew he couldn't. He’d never be able to relax enough to do something like that at home. Never. All he would be able to think about would be what would happen if his father happened to get up in the middle of the night for something to drink and decided to check in on Gaibriel. He may not ever know what Gaibriel would be thinking about but he would know what Gaibriel would be doing... and he did not want to imagine the punishment for that.

Sighing, Gaibriel dug his math book out of his backpack. He still had a few problems to do for homework.