Diary of a Gay (NOT!... well, maybe) Boy
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
13
Views:
2,812
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
13
Views:
2,812
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 5
August 27, my room, 2pm
I can not believe it.
I just can’t believe it AT ALL.
Here’s how the phone conversation went:
Voice: Hello?
Me: Hi, is Orlando there?
Voice: This is he.
Me: Hey, it’s Philip!
Orlando: What’s up?
Me: I was just wondering why you didn’t show up to school today. Were you feeling sick or something?
Orlando: *pause* Um, it was the ‘or something’.
Me: *suspiciously* What do you mean?
Orlando: Well, um, uh.
Me: God, just TELL ME!!!
Orlando: *another pause, presumably to gather strength or whatever* Well, I transferred schools. I’m going to St. Alban’s in DC now.
Me: *completely SHOCKED, to say the least* WHAT?!?!?!!?!?
Orlando: Yea—
Me: *cutting in* And WHEN were you planning on telling me this?!
Orlando: Soon. In fact, I was gonna call you today, later this evening. But I guess you got to me first.
Me: Well, way to leave me all alo—
Orlando: Sorry dude, gotta go. My other friends are waiting for me. We’re going to see a movie. Bye. *hangs up*
Orlando has suddenly changed high schools. He didn’t even BOTHER to tell me about this!! He’s now going to one in DC instead of the one that we were SUPPOSED to go to TOGETHER. But no, he left me alone. What kind of best friend DOES that?!!? I mean, just leave their friend alone in high school?
And what about his NEW friends that he mentioned??!?!?! It’s like I don’t even EXIST anymore! Plus, he didn’t bother inviting me to the movies with his new friends!! How can he move on so easily?! God, now I have to find some new friends of my own so I’m not like the social outcast all by myself. That would so totally suck.
I mean, we’ve known each other since the third grade!! Has the past 5 years meant NOTHING?!?!?! How could he LEAVE me?!?! After all the time we spent together being the social outcasts of the school, how could he?!
And I will have to spend my next FOUR YEARS of high school all alone, thinking about a guy I’ll never have, because:
1) He’d never like me back. He’s probably way too cool for me.
2) I’m not gay, so why am I even BOTHERING thinking about him and us being together forever?!
3)I STILL don’t know his name!!!!!!
God, why does EVERYTHING have to be so confusing?! Why can’t everything just be black and white and simple? WHY?!?!
You know what, I think I’ll go read my summer reading books. That’ll get my mind off Orlando and M. Dude and everything else.
August 27, my room, 3pm
God, that summer reading is so boring. Why does the school have to pick the most boring books ever to have us read? I mean, really. I love reading, but these books are real snoozers. They should put manga on summer reading lists. Now THOSE are good books. The artwork is awesome and the plots are really good. Or even Young Adult books. I read those all the time. People would like reading so much better if you put authors like Tamora Pierce or Terry Pratchett on the reading list.
But nobody EVER listens to me and my awesome suggestions. Maybe I’m just too clever for this world and I’m just misunderstood like those other great thinkers of earlier eras. Though I don’t think I’m on the same level as philosophers. I mean, if you ask me about existentialism or something, I so would not know what you’re talking about.
But whatever. It’s not like I’d need to know that or anything to live my life. I can live a perfectly good life without having to think about existentialism or anything like that. I mean, I want to be a singer when I get older, so I don’t need to know these things, and that makes me happy.
But what doesn’t make me happy is this whole M. Dude situation (God, WHY did I not try and find out his name?!) How am I gonna deal with him in class if I can’t get him out of my head? AND ESPECIALLY IN P.E. CLASS!!!! How am I gonna deal with that?
OH MY GOD.
WHAT IF WE HAVE TO TAKE SHOWERS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
Oh my God, that would so totally suck because then I’d see him naked and… oh God, I don’t even want to think about it.
Ok, if we have to take showers, I will just look straight ahead and not think about anything and not look around AT ALL. That will work and no one gets harmed, especially me.
Maybe now would be a good time to go back to that summer reading. Focus on that and nothing else. Things will work out. I know they will.
August 27, my room, 9pm
It’s almost time for bed, but I got a lot of reading done. Well, not of the actual summer reading.
Ok, well, I was totally reading “Arabian Nights” but then I happened to look around and I saw the newest Charmed book I had bought a few days ago which I hadn’t read yet and I picked it up and started reading it.
I finished the whole book, but by the time I finished, it was about time for bed! I really need to learn how to focus more on my summer reading. Oh well.
Night night, journal.
August 28, my room, 9am
I love sleeping in. It’s SO much fun. Anyway, so I’m sitting here in my room, not doing anything, as usual. Ergh, I’m so hungry, be right back, I’m going to the kitchen to get a little snack.
August 28, my room, 9:30am
Ok, so the little snack turned into a full fledged breakfast. I ended up having a bowl of Golden Grahams with milk and some toast and I had a sausage biscuit too.
Oh, my dad just came up and told me he wants me to stop writing in my journal and actually do some of my summer reading.
August 28, my room, 12pm
Can I just say that summer reading is totally boring? No one wants to read these books, so they make us, the students, read them. How rude is that! Jeez. I wish they’d abolish summer rea—
Gah, I come here to write ONE TEENSY LITTLE THING and my dad just happens to come up to check on me and finds me writing in here and goes all ballistic. (He knows I’ve barely started my summer reading). He wants me to go down and sit with him in the den and read there where he can keep an eye on me. Oh, how fun!
NOT.
August 28, my room, 9pm
So I just spent the better part of my day sitting in the den on the couch reading Arabian Nights. Dad let me have a little reprieve and we went to Applebee’s for dinner. I love that place. It’s SO good.
But then we got back and he made me read more tonight. I eventually was able to watch a little TV before he sent me to bed. God, it’s like I live in a PRISON.
I can not believe it.
I just can’t believe it AT ALL.
Here’s how the phone conversation went:
Voice: Hello?
Me: Hi, is Orlando there?
Voice: This is he.
Me: Hey, it’s Philip!
Orlando: What’s up?
Me: I was just wondering why you didn’t show up to school today. Were you feeling sick or something?
Orlando: *pause* Um, it was the ‘or something’.
Me: *suspiciously* What do you mean?
Orlando: Well, um, uh.
Me: God, just TELL ME!!!
Orlando: *another pause, presumably to gather strength or whatever* Well, I transferred schools. I’m going to St. Alban’s in DC now.
Me: *completely SHOCKED, to say the least* WHAT?!?!?!!?!?
Orlando: Yea—
Me: *cutting in* And WHEN were you planning on telling me this?!
Orlando: Soon. In fact, I was gonna call you today, later this evening. But I guess you got to me first.
Me: Well, way to leave me all alo—
Orlando: Sorry dude, gotta go. My other friends are waiting for me. We’re going to see a movie. Bye. *hangs up*
Orlando has suddenly changed high schools. He didn’t even BOTHER to tell me about this!! He’s now going to one in DC instead of the one that we were SUPPOSED to go to TOGETHER. But no, he left me alone. What kind of best friend DOES that?!!? I mean, just leave their friend alone in high school?
And what about his NEW friends that he mentioned??!?!?! It’s like I don’t even EXIST anymore! Plus, he didn’t bother inviting me to the movies with his new friends!! How can he move on so easily?! God, now I have to find some new friends of my own so I’m not like the social outcast all by myself. That would so totally suck.
I mean, we’ve known each other since the third grade!! Has the past 5 years meant NOTHING?!?!?! How could he LEAVE me?!?! After all the time we spent together being the social outcasts of the school, how could he?!
And I will have to spend my next FOUR YEARS of high school all alone, thinking about a guy I’ll never have, because:
1) He’d never like me back. He’s probably way too cool for me.
2) I’m not gay, so why am I even BOTHERING thinking about him and us being together forever?!
3)I STILL don’t know his name!!!!!!
God, why does EVERYTHING have to be so confusing?! Why can’t everything just be black and white and simple? WHY?!?!
You know what, I think I’ll go read my summer reading books. That’ll get my mind off Orlando and M. Dude and everything else.
August 27, my room, 3pm
God, that summer reading is so boring. Why does the school have to pick the most boring books ever to have us read? I mean, really. I love reading, but these books are real snoozers. They should put manga on summer reading lists. Now THOSE are good books. The artwork is awesome and the plots are really good. Or even Young Adult books. I read those all the time. People would like reading so much better if you put authors like Tamora Pierce or Terry Pratchett on the reading list.
But nobody EVER listens to me and my awesome suggestions. Maybe I’m just too clever for this world and I’m just misunderstood like those other great thinkers of earlier eras. Though I don’t think I’m on the same level as philosophers. I mean, if you ask me about existentialism or something, I so would not know what you’re talking about.
But whatever. It’s not like I’d need to know that or anything to live my life. I can live a perfectly good life without having to think about existentialism or anything like that. I mean, I want to be a singer when I get older, so I don’t need to know these things, and that makes me happy.
But what doesn’t make me happy is this whole M. Dude situation (God, WHY did I not try and find out his name?!) How am I gonna deal with him in class if I can’t get him out of my head? AND ESPECIALLY IN P.E. CLASS!!!! How am I gonna deal with that?
OH MY GOD.
WHAT IF WE HAVE TO TAKE SHOWERS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
Oh my God, that would so totally suck because then I’d see him naked and… oh God, I don’t even want to think about it.
Ok, if we have to take showers, I will just look straight ahead and not think about anything and not look around AT ALL. That will work and no one gets harmed, especially me.
Maybe now would be a good time to go back to that summer reading. Focus on that and nothing else. Things will work out. I know they will.
August 27, my room, 9pm
It’s almost time for bed, but I got a lot of reading done. Well, not of the actual summer reading.
Ok, well, I was totally reading “Arabian Nights” but then I happened to look around and I saw the newest Charmed book I had bought a few days ago which I hadn’t read yet and I picked it up and started reading it.
I finished the whole book, but by the time I finished, it was about time for bed! I really need to learn how to focus more on my summer reading. Oh well.
Night night, journal.
August 28, my room, 9am
I love sleeping in. It’s SO much fun. Anyway, so I’m sitting here in my room, not doing anything, as usual. Ergh, I’m so hungry, be right back, I’m going to the kitchen to get a little snack.
August 28, my room, 9:30am
Ok, so the little snack turned into a full fledged breakfast. I ended up having a bowl of Golden Grahams with milk and some toast and I had a sausage biscuit too.
Oh, my dad just came up and told me he wants me to stop writing in my journal and actually do some of my summer reading.
August 28, my room, 12pm
Can I just say that summer reading is totally boring? No one wants to read these books, so they make us, the students, read them. How rude is that! Jeez. I wish they’d abolish summer rea—
Gah, I come here to write ONE TEENSY LITTLE THING and my dad just happens to come up to check on me and finds me writing in here and goes all ballistic. (He knows I’ve barely started my summer reading). He wants me to go down and sit with him in the den and read there where he can keep an eye on me. Oh, how fun!
NOT.
August 28, my room, 9pm
So I just spent the better part of my day sitting in the den on the couch reading Arabian Nights. Dad let me have a little reprieve and we went to Applebee’s for dinner. I love that place. It’s SO good.
But then we got back and he made me read more tonight. I eventually was able to watch a little TV before he sent me to bed. God, it’s like I live in a PRISON.