You Don't Know Me

Final exams for the semester came and went, and Marcus did very well. He wasn’t particularly excited about this, though. He knew he would do well, because he spent all his free time studying.

Marcus barely ever went out anymore. He had tried for weeks with Michelle, calling her, asking her for coffee after class, just being where he knew she would be spending time. He even showed up at her house a few days before Christmas, bearing a small gift. But each time, his attempts were immediately rejected. Either she had to study, or she had promised her parents she would help with something, or she had other plans. She wouldn’t even smile anymore at his jokes. She treated him like she barely knew him.

As for going out otherwise, Marcus’s options were limited. He liked Tony, but Tony had his own issues to deal with. He was balancing the romantic honeymoon stages of his relationship with Sean, with letting the people closest to him know he was gay. As for Sean… Marcus had no intention of putting the well-intentioned boy in the middle of anything between him and Michelle. Beyond that, Marcus didn’t really have any other friends in the area.

Things got much better after the semester came to a close. Both Brigitte and Troy came home for the holidays, and he had a great time with them. He was even able to deal with the few uncomfortable times that his friends had gotten drunk and started making out, leaving him alone for half an hour or more. All that mattered was that he was with people that knew him, people that cared about him, and people that wanted him to be there.

But when Brigitte and Troy had to leave to go back to school, Marcus felt completely alone. He went by his mother’s house so regularly that even she questioned it. “Marcus, sweety,” she said one night. “You know how much I love having you here. But you don’t seem to go out at all. At least when Troy and Brigitte were here, you were getting out and having fun. Have you not made friends at school yet?”

Wanting desperately to be able to talk to someone, Marcus gave up his pride and started talking to his mother about his life. “I’m still clean and all,” he began, hoping to alleviate any fears she might have, but the smile she gave him let him know he didn’t even have to say it. “Anyway, you know what’s going on with Tony and Sean… they have enough to deal with. But there’s someone else…”

“A girl?” his mother asked, not in a pushy way, but more intuitively.

Marcus nodded. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I met her – Michelle – when I went to orientation. She was cold and rude and closed-off…”

“Sounds very attractive,” his mother joked, a smile playing on her lips.

Feeling a bit lame for talking to his mother about these things, Marcus shrugged. “She’s cute, at least in my opinion,” he told her, heat rising in his cheeks. “But she’s very smart, and quick – you know how I love to be able to spar with people.” His mother nodded, encouraging him to continue. “Anyway, I was actually getting really into her… but, um, well, she just doesn’t seem to feel the same way.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, honey,” his mother reached across the table to take his hand. “And maybe she’ll come around. But if not… Marcus, you’re a wonderful boy. You’ve proven over and over how strong you are. Whatever girl ends up with you will be very lucky. And when the time comes, you will find someone…”

”I know, Mom,” Marcus replied, his cheeks tinting with red again. “I just was really hoping Michelle might be the one.”

”She still might be…”

“I don’t think so,” Marcus said sadly.

------

It felt like a huge relief when the semester finally began. Even though Marcus was back to juggling a full-time school schedule with a nearly-full-time work schedule, he was glad that all his time was filled up.

He had yet another class with Michelle, which was hard for Marcus. She barely acknowledged him, and he was ready to give up. It had been almost two months since he and Michelle had been together, and she had barely spoken to him in that time. At first, he was crestfallen, but he was now getting to a point of annoyance. All he had wanted was for her to give him a chance, but from the looks of things, that was never going to happen. Marcus also had a film studies class with Tony, which turned out to be a lot of fun, and he was in another English class with Janette.

“Shit, I didn’t realize how late it was. I hope I didn’t make you late for any plans or anything.”

Glancing at the alarm clock that read 9:12, Marcus shook his head and stretched his arms over his head. “No, I have no plans,” he said, pushing himself up from his seat on the floor. “But my ass is asleep.”

Giggling, Janette stood up too. “Thanks so much, Marcus, for your help,” she told him, motioning towards the books on the floor. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I’m glad to help,” Marcus grinned at Janette. In truth, he had been relieved when Janette asked him to help her study, as it was something to do on the quiet Sunday night.

“Well, since you don’t have plans,” Janette smiled widely at him. “Maybe we could go get a drink or something? I know a bar that doesn’t card, and I am really feeling wound up from all this studying.”

Blushing, Marcus hated whenever this offer came up. “Actually,” he looked a bit shy admitting this. “I don’t drink.”

“At all?” Janette looked surprised.

“Nope,” he told her. “Gave it up a while back. Alcohol and I don’t have a good history together.”

Looking him over, Janette bit her lip. “So how do you unwind when you’re stressed?” She took a step towards him.

Immediately, Marcus could see where this was going. “Janette, I thought we had talked about this…”

Putting her hand on Marcus’s shoulder, Janette looked up into his bright eyes. “No, we talked about dating. I get that you aren’t into seeing anyone right now. But I’m just talking about…” She slid her hand behind his neck under the silky strands of dark hair, and started massaging him. “Just finding a way to unwind…”

Staring into Janette’s hazel eyes, Marcus felt his pulse racing. There was no denying how attractive Janette was, but he would somehow feel like he was betraying… No, he told himself. Forget that. Michelle wouldn’t have anything to do with him. She wouldn’t answer his phone calls, and she barely greeted him when they ran into each other.

Before Marcus could even think about this more, Janette pulled his face down towards hers. He felt her mouth on his as her arms twined around his neck. Her breath was hot on his lips, and as she ran the tip of her tongue gently over his upper lip, Marcus gave into his urges and slid his arms around her waist, pulling her body to his. He felt her nibble at is bottom lip before slipping her tongue into his mouth to meet his. Her kisses were very sensual and raw, her tongue tasting the inside of his mouth with urgency.

Feeling Janette pushing him back towards the bed, Marcus sat down as she stood back. There was a mischievous smile on Janette’s face as she quickly pulled her t-shirt over her head and reached behind her to unhook her bra. Marcus could just stare at her, her large round breasts, small waist and flat stomach. He could feel his erection rising in his jeans as she took a step towards him and reached for his shirt, pulling it off.

Suddenly, Janette dropped to her knees and looked up at Marcus. He leaned over to kiss her, running his hands over her bare shoulders and down her arms. As Janette’s mouth moved down his throat and over his chest, her hair tickling his skin, he felt her hands undoing his belt and jeans. She leaned back and stroked him through the thin fabric of his boxers for a moment, eliciting a small sigh from Marcus. As she reached for the waistband of his pants, Marcus raised his hips and let her slide the jeans and boxers to his ankles.

Leaning back on his hands, Marcus watched as Janette ran her hands seductively over his thighs before tossing her hair over her shoulder and dropping her head slowly. She let her tongue run from the tip of Marcus’s now stiff cock to the base before reaching to steady it with one hand. Marcus moaned as Janette slid her mouth around the tip, tracing circles around the ridge with her tongue and over his slit, tasting his pre-cum. Teasingly, she took her time sliding her mouth around the entirety of his erection, and pulled back up just as slowly. She then began increasing her pace, using her lips, her tongue, her teeth to draw groans and hisses from Marcus. She teased his balls with one hand, sliding a finger over a sensitive spot behind them that he hadn’t even realized was there.

A warmth was building up in Marcus, and he could feel his muscles tightening in anticipation of an orgasm. Abruptly, Janette pulled her mouth away and giggled when she saw the look of disappointment on his face. “Now, don’t get upset,” she said as she stood up. “I just want to be more of a part of this.” Marcus watched as she shrugged off her jeans and underwear, leaning over to grab a condom from her purse on the bedside table.

Sliding out of his jeans and boxers completely, Marcus lay back on the bed and watched as Janette straddled his thighs. “Feel this,” she said in a husky voice, reaching for Marcus’s hand and leading it to her. “Feel how wet I am. This is how much I want you.”

“You’re very wet,” Marcus grinned with self-satisfaction as he stared at Janette while she pulled his hand from herself and raised it to her lips. He watched, his jaw dropping, as she licked the juices from her body off his fingers. Unable to say anything at this point, Marcus just watched as Janette opened the condom and slid it on him, positioning herself over him. She quickly sank down, bringing forth a loud moan from Marcus as he was surrounded by her excessive heat and moisture.

Leaning over him, Janette was rising and falling on Marcus with hard thrusts. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” she admitted.

Seeing Janette over him, looking at him with such lust, Marcus couldn’t even think straight. All he knew was that he had wanted someone to desire him like this for a long time, and he had every intention of following through. He brought his hands to Janette’s waist, controlling the way she rode him. He pulled her onto him fast and hard, raising his body to meet hers. His thumb wandered over her clit, causing her eyes to close. She was moaning softly, turning Marcus on even more.

Before Janette knew what was happening, Marcus had flipped them over, but he had managed to never separate their bodies. Quickly, he raised her legs up, over his shoulders. He was kneeling upright before her, thrusting into her deeply. His hand was rubbing at her at the same time, pressing against her lips and her clit. Gibberish was coming from Janette’s mouth, pleading and appreciation. Marcus leaned over her, pressing into her hard, never forgetting to stimulate the small bundle of nerves between her legs. Janette had never felt so much pleasure at once.

Trying hard to just concentrate on what was going on in front of him, Marcus made it his mission to make Janette come. One hand slid under her waist, holding her up so he could pound hard into her. His other hand played with her, teased her, made her scream his name out. He felt her body responding, and he watched her face with a bit of cockiness as she closed her eyes tightly, grabbed at his arms, and yelled out incoherently as she came. He never stopped his hard, fast pace as he felt his body responding in like, his balls tightening, his stomach clenching, and finally a hot release of liquid into the condom he was wearing.

Letting go of her legs, Marcus was careful as he let his body fall on top of Janette. Both of them were breathing heavily, their chests heaving against each other. Finally, Janette was the first one to speak.

“That was so much better than going out for a beer,” she laughed, still mostly breathless.

“I do what I can,” Marcus chuckled into her neck, trying to fight back the unexplainable emptiness he was feeling in his chest. His whole body was covered in sweat, he had a beautiful girl in his arms, and he had just had one of the most impressive sexual experiences in his life. So why did he feel so unhappy still?

-----

“What am I going to do with you?” Sean asked as he entered Michelle’s bedroom in her parents’ house. Michelle was sitting at a desk in the corner, her computer on and books spread about.

Turning around, Michelle gave him a small smile. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t try that with me,” Sean said, sitting down on the bed. “The only way I get to see you outside of school is if I come over here.”

“I’ve just been busy,” Michelle sighed, gesturing towards her desk. “I’m not avoiding you or anything.”

“I didn’t think you were avoiding me,” Sean told her, his face serious. “You’ve been avoiding someone else. And that’s all you have really been busy doing.”

An annoyed look passed over Michelle’s face. “God, can’t you just drop this already?” she asked angrily. “That… that… whatever that was is over now. Marcus and I barely speak anymore.”

“Don’t even,” Sean shot back. “You barely speak to Marcus anymore, yes. But don’t you think it’s about time to get over that? I mean, Tony’s birthday is next week, and I’d like it if everyone could hang out together. I’m not pushing you to sleep with him again, just hang out like normal people.”

A blush filled Michelle’s cheeks with color. “I have a class with him, Sean,” Michelle tried to recover from her momentary embarrassment. “I see him all the time. You are acting like I’ll run in the opposite direction if he shows up.”

“That’s how it looks to outsiders,” Sean told her. “But never mind that. So, if I have a little gathering at my place for Tony, you’ll come? Even if I invite Marcus?”

Michelle’s stomach felt like a lead weight, but she didn’t want Sean to know that. “Absolutely,” she said. “After all, Marcus is Tony’s friend, and Tony’s your boyfriend, and you’re my best friend. Of course we’ll all be there.”

Giving her a wary look, Sean stood up. “Alright,” he said, not completely convinced. “I’m holding you to that.”

“You do that,” Michelle tried to smile lightly. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have a paper due on Wednesday that I really need to work on.”

“Okay,” Sean said, heading towards the door. “I’ll let you know the exact details when I’ve sorted them out.”

“Okay,” Michelle turned back around at her desk. “Bye.”

After Sean left the room, Michelle rested her elbows on the desk and leaned her forehead into her palms. She was so careful about not running into Marcus whenever possible, and it had been working for over two months now. But suddenly she was going to be forced to spend an evening in Sean’s small apartment with him. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Michelle had decided, after their one time together, that she couldn’t be around Marcus. He made her too nervous; he seemed to understand her too well for her to be comfortable with it. If there was one thing Michelle had always prided herself on, it was that she never let in anyone she didn’t want to. But with Marcus, she lost all of that control.

Fine, she would see him at Sean’s apartment. This week at school, she would even say hello to him, to try to make the strangeness less when they met up to celebrate Tony’s birthday. She would be cool and easygoing. Yeah, right.

-----

Marcus was relieved when he got to his English class on Monday and saw Janette. She wasn’t acting strange in the slightest. He took his normal seat next to her, smiling a little nervously, but she didn’t even seem to notice. “Okay,” she leaned over a little. “So for the quiz today, I only have to remember the characters and main points of the chapter now, right? I don’t have to remember place names or dates or crap like that, do I?”

Smiling in appreciation, Marcus nodded. “That’s right, just characters and main points.” He watched Janette nod and open her book again, going over the information. He had spent half the night awake, nervous that he had made a mistake by sleeping with Janette. But seeing her now, he could tell that she really was okay with looking at it as sex and nothing more. After class, she just waved and dashed off to meet some friends for lunch, leaving Marcus to feel much more relaxed.

-----

“Hey dude,” Marcus greeted Tony in the cafeteria. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Tony told him, closing the book he had been reading.

“What’s that?” Marcus pointed at a bruise over Tony’s eye.

“Nothing much. I finally ended up getting into it with Luke this weekend.” He shrugged. “I kicked his ass. It was pretty unceremonious.”

Laughing, Marcus shook his head. “I don’t know what the guy was thinking. You’re, like, twice his size.”

“He thought his friends had his back,” Tony told Marcus. “Turns out, not so much.”

Just then, Sean walked up, and Tony’s eyes lit up when he saw him. “Hey,” Sean greeted Marcus with a warm smile before leaning over to peck Tony’s lips. “Listen, I’m glad you’re here. We’re going to have a little something at my place on Saturday for Tony’s birthday, and we want you there.”

Looking uncomfortable, Marcus’s eyes darted between the two men. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

“If you’re worried about Michelle,” Sean said, noting the discontented look on Marcus’s face. “I already talked to her about it. She said she’s fine hanging out with you.”

“Well, that’s news to me,” Marcus grumbled. “No, that sounds good, then,” he added, not wanting to feel like he was putting anyone in the middle of his feud with Michelle. “I’ll look forward to it.”

“Awesome.”

Marcus’s mind began to wander as Tony and Sean began talking. Just when he was starting to get past his feelings for Michelle, Marcus felt like he was getting dragged right back into the middle of things. And now, he wasn’t even sure if these were things that he wanted anymore. Michelle was difficult, stubborn and narrow-minded. Even when they were getting along best, they fought constantly. Their one and only physical encounter had been awkward and uncomfortable, and was followed by Michelle treating Marcus as if he were a leper. Between all the issues from his past and all the fears and self-doubts Michelle had, Marcus just felt it might be too hard to ever work out a real relationship with her. “No,” he decided silently to himself. “We just don’t make any sense together. I’ll offer my friendship once more, and that will be it.”

Marcus was resolved with his decision, but there was still one tiny problem. Even though he hadn’t really spoken to her in two months… Even though he had moved on, at least enough to sleep with Janette… Even though he and Michelle had only shared the briefest of time together… Yeah, he was in love with her.

-----

“Hi Marcus,” Michelle said softly, using all her nerve.

“Oh, hey,” Marcus replied, looking completely surprised. He had been studying at a table in the café and hadn’t heard anyone approaching. “You want to sit down?” He motioned at a chair across from him.

“Yeah, thanks,” Michelle sat down. “Listen, I just wanted to, um, you know, say hello. I know we’re both going to Tony’s thing on Saturday night, and I was hoping to make it less awkward.” She didn’t say anything for a minute. “Unlike, you know, now.”

Letting out a little chuckle, Marcus’s small grin relaxed Michelle. “Ah, so you do see the inherent flaw in your little plan,” he joked, earning a small smile from her. “No, really Michelle… I don’t want things with you to be weird. I would really like it if we could be friends.” His eyes were wide and hopeful.

Nodding, Michelle agreed. “I’d like that too,” she replied softly.

“Good,” Marcus said. They sat in silence for a minute, not really looking at each other. “So we’re still in the middle of all kinds of awkward right now, aren’t we?” he smirked.

“I guess it’ll take some time,” Michelle admitted. “But this… this is good.” When they fell into silence again, she stood up. “Okay, that was definitely an uncomfortable but healthy start. So, I’ll see you in class, then.”

“And on Saturday.”

“Yep, okay. Well, bye.”

“Bye,” Marcus said and watched as Michelle’s figure retreated. He took a deep breath in and thought about their exchange. Then he thought of their relationship up until then – from when Michelle had taken an immediate dislike to him, to slowly winning her friendship through jokes and verbal sparring, to developing stronger feelings for her, to that fateful afternoon in his apartment, to her completely ignoring him, to this now. God, for someone he had only met six months earlier, they sure had a rocky history.

-----

Marcus showed up for Tony’s party, and so did Michelle. They greeted each other with false sincerity, and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening on opposite sides of the apartment. Around midnight, Marcus decided he had been through enough awkwardness. He just wanted to go home.

Knocking on Sean’s bedroom, he opened the door and his face flushed. “Sorry guys,” he grinned, seeing a fairly drunk Sean and Tony closely embraced. “I was just coming to say goodbye, but…”

“No, we’re sorry,” Tony blushed, standing up and trying to pull his clothing into place. “Sorry, I’m pretty drunk. I forgot that I should be out there talking to everyone who came…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Marcus grinned back. “It’s your birthday. You deserve to, um,” he bit back a small laugh, looking at Sean laying on the bed, his shirt already discarded. “You deserve to celebrate however you want.”

“Thank, Marcus,” Tony gave his friend a small hug. “Thanks for coming, and, you know, for being such a good friend.”

“Right back at ya’,” Marcus told him, turning to leave and making sure to hit the lock button on the door handle before closing the door.

There was only one other person at the party that Marcus felt he should find before he left. He checked the living room and kitchen, but Michelle wasn’t in either place. Either she was in the bathroom, or she had already left. Unfortunately, Marcus found Michelle in the bathroom. Her skin was pale, and she was patting her face down with cold water.

”Not doing so well?” Marcus asked gently as he walked into the open bathroom door.

Heat passed over Michelle’s face, making her feel even more queasy. This was the last thing she wanted – to deal with Marcus when she was drunk. “Sorry,” she said. “I guess I don’t drink much.”

”It’s okay,” Marcus’s voice was surprisingly gentle. He grabbed a hand-towel from the rack and put it under the running water. “Here,” he guided her. “Sit down.”

Michelle didn’t argue as Marcus led her to sit on the edge of the bathtub, and when he placed the cool cloth on the back of her neck, she sighed in comfort. It was an extremely relaxing sensation. She closed her eyes and barely noticed as Marcus sat on the closed toilet beside her. “Is that better?” Marcus asked a couple minutes later, after Michelle’s body temperature had lowered.

“Yeah,” Michelle admitted with great embarrassment. “Sorry, I really never drink.”

”Not a big deal,” Marcus admitted. “But, listen, it would make me feel a lot better if you let me drive you home. No funny stuff,” he joked. “Unless of course, you try something. Then, I’m not responsible for my actions.”

Michelle laughed as she nodded. “I’d appreciate that,” she tried to stand up, but fell into Marcus with her first step. He wrapped his arm around her waist and steadied her as Michelle looked up into his eyes. “Thanks,” she said embarrassed. “At least I didn’t throw up.”

“About which I am very impressed,” Marcus smirked, leaning Michelle onto his shoulder and helping her out of the apartment and down to the parking lot. Gently placing her in the passenger-side, Marcus closed her door and went around the car.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Michelle asked as her head fell back against the headrest, her words slurred. “I was so mean to you…”

“No,” Marcus disagreed, his voice gentle as he started the car. “You weren’t mean. You were afraid.”

“Yeah,” Michelle told him, her eyes fluttering. “I was. I was afraid that I was falling in love with you.”

Before Marcus could respond, Michelle’s eyes closed and she fell asleep in the passenger seat. Marcus looked over at her quiet form, trying to comprehend what she had just said.