Snowfall

Lets go back to more pleasant things, Shall we?

Amar continued to tell me of these ruins were the fair folk sometimes told men secrets and sometimes spirited them away. The fire seemed to dance in his dark eyes and eventually even Father John was listening to his stories. Not believing them perhaps but begrudgingly entertainedby them none the less. We passed away some of the evening hours and I don\'t really recall what happened later. I fell asleep sitting there by the fire but found myself on my bedroll with a blanket over me when I awoke the next morning.

I talked about the ruins all day as we traveled, I must confess I must have drove Father John mad with my rambling. I asked him repeatedly to let us go visit them but he said no. They were out of the way and a sinful pagan site on top of that. I think he was trying hard to quell his own curiosity and be the good example for me. This was a trip out into the world after a few years for me but it was also a trip out into the world after many many years for Father John. He had forgotten the temptations towards interesting things.

I sat silently eating my soup at the campfire. Earlier that evening before we made camp I tried one last time to get Father John to go see the ruins.

\"No Albin, It is getting dark and is therefore dangerous. Not to mention they are an ungodly pagan place. Now I know you\'re interested but there are times when it is better to leave things... and places alone.\"

So while I was sitting apparently resigned to my adventureless fate, I was actually battling with my conscience. Curiosity has ever been my weakness. Ok lets be honest... Curiosity has ever been ONE of my weaknesses. This time it was suggesting that we turn in early and set out for the ruins while the priest was asleep.
Now my conscience said that we\'ve done something like this before. Remember Albin?

Yes, of course I remembered.

It said if the Father woke up and found us gone he\'d worry himself sick.

No, he\'d know where we went.

He\'d be disappointed.

That was true. But he sleeps rather soundly and we\'ll be back before morning. See, nothing to worry about.

My conscience really wasn\'t convinced but it knew when it had lost an argument.

So I went to bed early and the priest, not having anyone to talk to, followed shortly after. I waited for the telltale snoring and then quietly got up and made my way carefully away from camp. I am not completely without a brain. I did find some moss and a nice long stick and made myself a torch from the campfire. It wasn\'t much but it helped me keep up a quicker pace out to the ruins. I now just hoped I wouldn\'t get lost but according to Amar they weren\'t very far away from the road south that we were following.

It wasn\'t long before I saw ominous black shapes up ahead and I knew that I had found the ruins. Looking at them now I wasn\'t so certain that my conscience wasn\'t right about staying back at the nice well lit campfire and sleeping like a sane person. Curiosity urged me forward though. I walked towards the large stones slowly. They were much like one of the great Stone Henges in England only smaller. Facing towards the east there was the only pair standing with a cross piece over the top making a nice portal. The rest were solitary standing stones made in a small circle around a stone lying flat on its side in the center. My mind immediately went to the horrid images of human sacrifice that I had been told happened at such sites and it sent a shiver down my spine. I had backed away and bumped into a stone, only it felt warmer and more giving than I would have imagined. Then it spoke

\"I am not surprised to find you\'ve come, Mon Ami.\" The stone had Amar\'s pleasant voice. I turned slowly to find I had backed into the Frenchman. I never saw him there but I was relieved instantly. No longer alone I could take a more academic view of the place. It was not nearly so fearsome with someone else to speak to.

\"I was curious.\" It was lame but true. What else was there to say?

Amar smiled gently in understanding. \"Of course you were. There is no harm in this, yes?\" He continued gesturing to the stones. \"To want to learn is a noble thing. Here come look. \" He walked over to the portal stones and knelt down next to them. I came to kneel beside him and looked where he was pointing. There on the stones was an ancient script carved along the edge of the upright stones. A series of lines and a few squiggly marks here and there but it was obvious that it was supposed to mean something.

\"Does anyone know what it says?\" I asked, reaching a hand out to touch the rock. My hand brushed Amar\'s and I was surprised at how cold he seemed.

\"It is said that it speaks of the sun and moon and the right times to come to the place for the magic.\" Amar pulled his hand away and shrugged.

I looked up at him curious and found that he was not staring down at the writing but watching me intently. I was caught up in that gaze for a moment. His hands might have been cold but his eyes burned with an inner fire that called to me. My curiosity wanted to know more about this man and I felt a sense of regret that we would be moving on. Looking down shyly,dark lashes hid my eyes. What exactly was coming over me anyway?

\"There are nights and days when the moon and the sun do amazing things in the sky. The summer solstice and the winter one. The Spring Equinox and the Fall.\"

\"I was born on the winter solstice.\" Now you\'re babbling Albin, I thought to myself. I was babbling anything to continue speaking to Amar and to learn more about him.

\"A magical night. The longest night of the year. It is one of my most favorite times. \" Amar smiled again and my heart skipped a beat. He didn\'t seem to be humoring me and instead seemed to be equally interested.

\"Some people find it a scary time. The night coming so fast as it does.\"

\"There is no need to be afraid of the night.\" Amar looked up at the moon and the stars above us. He seemed to glow like one of the magical creatures I had come here looking for. For a brief moment I wondered if Amar might be one of those Fair Folk toying with me or perhaps helping me. He certainly could be one of those legendary creatures with such pale skin that it almost seemed white and his dark hair and eyes that seemed to be made out of the night itself. I had always heard the Fair Folk were light haired but perhaps there were many kinds like there were many kinds of humans. Who was I to judge?

Amar looked back at me and said. \"The night makes things more magical than they appear in the day, do you not think so?\" It was like he was reading my thoughts! He continued though and spoke of other things. \"These rocks for instance, in the day, they still are mysterious but they do not hold the same magic as they do when seen at night like this. Though, \" He frowned slightly. \"I am sure they look radiant in the first light of the sun. \" with what seemed almost like a sad smile, he added. \"Perhaps you will stay to see that?\"

\"I can\'t. The priest does not know I am gone. He\'d be worried beyond all measure if he woke to find me gone. \" I looked down at the ground again. \"Its not the first time I\'ve snuck out on my own.\"

\"Ah, an adventurer, a brave soul. It is a good thing, you\'re young yet and if the worst you\'ve ever done is sneak out once in your life...\" Amar shrugged and seemed to be laughing at me silently with his coal colored eyes. I felt indignant now. Of course I\'ve done other things. I\'ve...I\'ve.. not done much at all. Somewhat bewildered, I realized that I had been a very good child, which normally I would have been proud of but in the presence of this man it seemed as though I had not lived. My thoughts turned to Father John and his cautioning me against coming here. I was going to become a priest and spend the rest of my days in a church. When would I see anything of the world? I wouldn\'t, except through books, which my conscience said sagely is more than most farmers would see. I was not consoled however. I wanted to adventure more and this glimpse into the future that I had planned out for myself seemed like a cage for the first time.

Amar\'s voice broke my frantic thoughts. \"You\'ve much time yet, I am sure you\'ll have adventures to tell. Like this one, no?\"

He was right. This was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to be out doing, learning about new places and things. I could still do this. A small glimmer of childlike hope appeared. Never mind that there were very few people in these times who truly traveled the world and those that did hardly found it as glamorous as I was imagining. Or that if I left the priesthood I would have to find some sort of way to earn my keep which would involve probably settling down and earning a living. I didn\'t even really have a skill to earn a living with I left the farm before my father could teach me everything there was to know about farming. There were ways of foiling pests in your fields and a myriad of other things I very little about. My mind turned to my younger brother and I wondered if Alin now knew these things. No doubt he did. I could read and write and that had to count for something. Though most of the people with those skills were in the priesthood and those outside of it rarely had need of someone who was literate. I was intelligent and young, there would be adventure in my life yet. Somehow. This I had decided.

I spoke to Amar about the stones for a long while. I must have drifted off to sleep. I remember waking at one point and seeing him gazing down at me. He seemed different, somewhat sad and distant. He reached out a hand to brush away some of the curls from my eyes and I found his hand warm to the touch. Perhaps I was cold now from lying so still on the cold earth. I watched him silently for a few moments entranced by his unfathomable expression, wanting to know what pain it was that he was hiding. I was ever moved to sympathy by another\'s pain and Amar seemed to have an endless amount hidden inside that only now was I able to see. I reached out a hand and took his. He looked down in surprise. Slowly he smiled and the pain seemed to fall away, I smiled in return and drifted back to sleep.

Light seeping its way through my eyelids caused me to wake in a panic. The priest! I was going to be in such trouble. I sat bolt upright and looked around wildly.

\"Bad dream, Albin?\" Father John sat at the fire cooking us some morning porridge. \"You seemed to be sleeping a bit restlessly so I thought I would let you sleep a bit longer. Whatever it was it was only a dream. Come have some breakfast.\"

I looked around slowly, taking in the fire and traveling packs. A dream, I didn\'t leave the camp last night after all. Instead of feeling relieved the my conscience had won the battle and made me stay like I had good sense I was disappointed. I didn\'t see Amar at all or talk to him. Funny now that I look back on this, I went out to see the ruins that night but that morning it was the thought of not seeing the Frenchman that caused me to feel disappointed. Of course, I was not really seeing that clearly at the time.
I pushed the blanket away and went to roll up my bed roll. It was then that I noticed a small piece of parchment. It had writing like that from the stones on it! It wasn\'t a dream after all! My spirits lifted, I cheerfully finished rolling up my bedding and moved over to have some breakfast with the priest. He smiled at me, seeing the change in mood which he assumed was the result of his words of comfort. Who was I to dissuade him of that notion?

The priest and I packed up and moved along the way south. Presently he spoke to me.

\" I am glad you heeded my judgement concerning the ruins, Albin. Many boys your age would not have been so accepting. \" He smiled at me with such innocent pleasure that my heart shriveled in my chest. My good spirits were dampened because I had failed Father John whether he knew it or not. Still I could not confess what I had done so I nodded weakly and looked ahead.

He continued. \"You will be a blessing to God, young man. A true good soul. I have never seen a more caring person in all my life, Albin. You were meant to be in the Lord\'s service. \" He chuckled and reached up to ruffle my hair. At seventeen, I had already surpassed the priest\'s rather shorter than average height. My father was a tall man and a big one. I seemed to have at least been gifted with the former and was already 6\'3\" in stature. Personally I hoped to stop growing soon though Father John believed I had several more inches to go. I prayed.. yes, actually prayed that this was not so. A lanky giant, wonderful.

We moved on for the day and camped in a nice clearing surrounded by trees and a few grey stones. Nothing so magical as the ones at the ruins, but these did offer some shelter from the wind. The priest watched me cook dinner, while we spoke of the day\'s events and sightings. I must have been distracted because he spoke up.

\"Albin, Is there something troubling you?\" I looked over quickly at Father John, what ever gave him that idea?

\"No, no. I was just wondering about that family we had seen earlier. The little girl looked a little underfed to me. I hope she will be all right.\" I lied. Of course, I had wondered about the little girl and she did look to be underfed. I had slipped her the bread from my lunch while her family was speaking with the priest but that was not what was currently on my mind.

The priest\'s eyes sparkled and crinkled around the corners with his paternal smile. \"I am sure God will provide, my son. No doubt he has sent one of his servants with mana from heaven to her already, or at least the bread roll from their lunch.\"

I was startled. How did he know?

\"She slipped it out of hiding once their wagon was moving again.\" He said by way of explanation at my startled look. \" I saw her nibbling on it as they rode away. She waved, at you I am sure, but you were looking the other way. \" He glanced at the pot that was nearly ready. \"You should ration out yourself some extra of that, Albin, you\'re still growing and didn\'t have all of your lunch. I, on the other hand, do not need to grow any more.\" The priest patted his gut. It was nonexistent, Father John was quite fit and this journey had only made him more trim but he liked to go on as if he were old and out of shape.

I couldn\'t help but smile at his antics and soon was back to fully participating in the conversation. After dinner we said good night and rolled out our blankets. Soon I could hear the Priest\'s snores. I lay on my back watching the stars. I could not place a finger on the unrest I felt but I had been distracted all day. Slipping a hand into the pouch that I had tied around my neck I felt past a small coin I had found and touched the slip of parchment. I held it up to the moonlight, tracing the lines with my fingers.