Love's Secret Domain

When he was eight years old, Phineas had been sent away.

“To school,” his father had gruffly said as he leaned forward in his high backed chair, throwing a strawberry stem at Phineas’ forehead as he stood next to the long dining table. “And may they have better luck with you than I.”

Phineas stood there, silent, struck with the realization that he would be away from Adalia and yet grateful that he would escape the confines of the dark house.

“Stop staring at me boy! Or I’ll pluck out your eyes.” His father turned his steely blue gaze on his son and waved him off dismissively with his left hand as he sucked a strawberry seed from his teeth
“Y
“Yes, Father.”

Phineas turned on his heel and calmly walked from the dining hall, charging into a bolt once he hit the foyer. He wanted to tell Adalia, wanted to express his excitement, he would get out, he was given permission to leave the grounds!

He plunged up the stairs, 3 at a time, his long hair whipping behind him, his hands grasping the iron railing as he made it to the top floor landing. He would come home during holidays, for summers, the weekends. He would still see Adalia, would spend every free moment with her, she could help him study and he would tell her everything he had learned. Breathless, but laughing and tittering with the news, he knocked on Adalia’s door.

“Adalia?” he said loudly, “Adalia, I have something to tell you.”

He swung open the door, his expression full of glee, his eyes shining with all of the possibilities, all of the things he would do and learn and experience. What he saw caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

The bed, pink and ruffled
Adalia, naked and on her hands and knees.
One man beneath her.
One man behind her.
One man in front of her.
Grunting.
A sour smell.
Pink lace curtains fluttering in the window.
Adalia’s hands tied in front of her as she leaned on them.
A thin cut down her spine.
The man behind her licking it with his tongue.
A vase of daffodils sitting on the dresser.
A picture of Phineas and Adalia on the nightstand,
Adalia whimpering as if she were in pain.
The room swirling.
Everything blending into
One
Big
Ugly
Thing.

Adalia turned her head; letting the organ that beenbeen in her mouth, flop to tide.ide. “Phineas?” she whispered, her amber eyede. de. “Phineas, go away. Close the door.”

He just stood there, shocked, frightened, not knowing what to do.

“Please Phineas, go away.” She had started to cry and the men darted their eyes to him.

“You heard her, boy."

Phineas backed out of the room and closed the door behind him and quietly walked down the stairs. His father was waiting for him at the bottom, one of his hands gripping the railing, a thick strand of his silver hair falling into one of his eyes.

“And just what were you doing?” he quietlyed wed with a smirk as Phineas inched his way down the red carpeted steps. “Were you spying?”

Phineas shook his head, “No father. I wanted to tell Adalia…” and before the words had left his mouth his father struck him so hard that Phineas fell down the last remaining steps to the marble floor.

His father kicked him with the sharp toe of his shoe and bellowed, “You are never to go up these stairs again! Do…” kick, “I…” another blow this time landing somewhere on his head, “Make…” a kick to his ribs, “Myself…hit hit somewhere in his back, “CLEAR?!” and the final blow landed in his left eye socket.

Phineas did not cry. He did not scream. But his eye hurt him beyond any pain he had ever felt before. “Yes father,” he whispered as the man gave a grunt and walked back to the dining hall.

He yelled over his shoulder, “To your room. You’re bleeding on my floor.”

And so, Phineas pulled himself up and limped to his downstairs chamber, quietly closed the door and attempted to doctor his swollen, bloody, eye.

He did not see Adalia for 3 days after that. He did not leave his room. She did not come to him. He didn’t know why except that perhaps his father had locked her away.

When she finally came to his room, it was late and dark and she tiptoed and whispered his name. He opened the only eye he could and sat up, his face black and blue, a massive brownish-green bruise on his right rib. She climbed into bed with him and ran her tiny fingers over his eye. It was swollen so large and was so painful to the touch that Phineas hissed when he felt her fingers gently brush the wound.

She opened his mouth and pricked her finger on one of his teeth, ran the warm blood over the wound and then put it in his mouth. He sucked it, and within a few moments, he felt better. His ribs had stopped hurting and the swelling in his eye went down, eventually going away completely. He sat there and sucked from her finger as he looked into her eyes in the dark. Ahen hen he was filled and sated, he lay back against his pillow and stared at the ceiling.

She hovered over him, “You’re eye is going to always look funny now."

“I don’t care,” he defiantly uttered.

She lay down next to him. They were silent for a long time, both of them lying there, not touching, barely breathing.

“Why were you doing that?’ Phineas finally asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Because I have to,” she had whispered.

She explained why he had seen what he had. That doing those things was part of father’s plan. It was her job to fill the needs of whomever he saw fit to send to her. That sometimes, she couldn’t count how many of them there were. That sometimes, she had to lie on the alter during masses and let them do whatever they wanted to her.

Phineas was never allowed to attend mass. He was forbidden to speak to anyone except his father and the nannies, who rarely spoke to him.

“Does it hurt?’ He asked as he rolled onto his side.

“Sometimes,” she quietly uttered as she lay there, nose to nose with her brother.

“Do you like it?”

“No.”

She pulled him to her and his head rest against her chest. He could feel the hard nubs of her forming bosoneatneath him. “I hate it.”

He put his arms around her and held her tightly. She was only ten, just a little girl, and yet the innocence of her body had been lost a long, long time ago. Phineas twirled a strand of her red hair around one of his fingers.

“I won’t ever hurt you like that. I promise.”

They quietly lay there for a while, the room still except for their breathing and a cricket somewhere in the bathroom.

Finally, Phineas said, “I’m going away.”

"I know."

Adalia squeezed him and he felt her warm tears on his forehead.

Phineas clutched her tightly and said, “ Someday, you and I are going to run away. To a place where father won’t find us.” He rolled over to lie next to her, holding her hand, both of them staring at the ceiling.

“Can we have a cat?” she quietly asked.

“Mmmhmm. We can have as many cats ou wou want. And we can have a car. A really fast one so that no one can catch us. And the cats can live in the backseat.”

Adalia giggled, “It’s got to be really fast.”

Phineas nodded in the darkness, “And we can go anywhere we want and do anything. We can eat whatever we want, ice cream for breakfast or chocolate cake for dinner. And no one will be able to find us because we’re faster and smarter than all of them.”

Adalia sighed and put her head on Phineas’ arm, ““Don’t leave me here, Phineas. Swear to me that you won’t leave me here.”

Phineas sat up and looked at her, brushing her tears with one of his fingers, gently rubbing them into the soft flesh of Adalia’s cheek.

“I swear, I won’t leave you here. I’ll never leave you here.”

His face was earnest, serious, his small brow furrowed, his hand gripping hers.

She smiled at him through the darkness.

“I want the car to be pink.”

The day he left, Adalia was inconsolable and she screamed and kicked as the nannies held her. His father stood at the front gate with his arms crossed, his nostrils flared as if he had smelled something foul, his lips curled in derision.

Phineas got into the black car and held his hand up to the window for Adalia to see. As the car began to pull away, he rolled down his window and yelled, “I swear!”

She screamed his name and broke free frhe che clutches of the women surrounding her and ran behind the car, her arms outstretched and flailing, her red hair wildly streaming behind her, her face flushed and stained with the streaks of tears. Phineas looked out of the back window and watched her run until finally she fell to her knees and one of the black-garbed nannies grabbed her up. And then she faded into the distance.

Phineas lay there in the leaves and stared at the canopy of trees above him. The blue sky barely peeked out of the thick mass of foliage. He had been meditating for a day or so, trying to clear his mind, attempting to garner some sense or vision that Adalia might still be alive. Nothing had come to him. He sighed and stood up, brushing the leaves from his jeans and zipping his jacket, the collar stiff and smelly as he turned it up to protect his ears. It was cold. His bones ached. He was beginning to show signs of a beard and his eyes were hollow and dark in theirketskets.

He began to walk in the opposite direction of where he had entered the forest and heard a quiet rustle a few yards away from him. He walked in the direction of the sound and found a small metal box, something fluttering wildly inside.

He got down to his knees and peered into one of the small breathing holes on the side and saw a bird. A white bird flapping its wings uselessly, pecking at the closed door of the box, it’s tiny black eyes darting wildly as it attempted to free itself. box box was apparently a trap of some sort, set by a hunter undoubtedly, trying to capture some small creature, a rabbit, a squirrel, a raccoon maybe.

The bird peered at Phineas through the small hole and suddenly became calm. It stood there patiently, quietly, its eyes never leaving his.

He sat down on the leave-strewn ground and put the small metal box in his lap and gently slid the opening up to let the creature free. The dove stood there just inside the box and peered at Phineas before taking timid steps towards the opening.

It walked onto his leg; it’sck eck eyes gazing at him, never flinching. It pecked his hand gently, almost nudging him and then it took flight. It flew around Phineas’ head three times before it finally headed for an opening in the trees above him. Phineas watched as it disappeared and suddenly he began to cry, the box falling to the ground between his legs, his hands sitting lifeless at his sides.

“I’m coming, Adalia,” he said as he stared at the spot of blue sky above him. “I swear to you, I’m coming.”