Twisted Oblivion

"Do you guys make it a point to piss me off?"  Steven asked as he opened a can of soda.
	
"Actually, it’s not polite to point," Brian replied and Steven glared at him.
	
"Don’t even Brian."
	
"Don’t even what?"
	
"Brian don’t start with that junk. I’m not in the mood for it."
	
"I’ve never gotten you in the mood, Steve. But I can, if that’s what you really want."

"Stop it Brian. He’s ticked off enough as it is," Vince said and Brian glanced at him.

"All right. You’ve always looked more enticing anyway," Brian said and Nick grabbed Brian’s shirt.

"Would you just shut the hell up?! I’m sick of hearing this!" he cried and Brian’s eyes narrowed.

"Let go of me."

"Let go of him. He’s changed his mood again," Vince said and Nick drew back as if he had suddenly come in contact with a maniacal wild beast.  Brian said nothing as he walked up the stairs into his room.  He switched on his CD player and let "Riders on the Storm" by the Doors play as he sat on the floor and stared at the blank walls.  There were times when he wished he could just take his life away, to end the pain once and for all.  The door opened and Brian refused to acknowledge the newcomer.  Vince knelt beside Brian and laid a hand on his shoulder. Brian’s body grew rigid and he stared coldly at the wall.

"What the hell do you want?"  Brian asked as Vince sat beside him.

"I want to talk to you," Vince said as he took out a cigarette.

"So talk."

"Look, you can confide in me, you know."
	
"What the hell are you talking about?"
	
"Brian, you’re my best friend. I’m not going to lie about that."

"I don’t need to obvious pointed out to me right now."

"Fine but I do know that there’s no reason for you getting so pissed off with Nick. He was just fed up with the way you were acting. You do have a tendency to go overboard with it. You know that. Now, what are you really upset about?"
	
"You know when you were going on about that car crash this morning? I should have just let you talk. I should have left you in that quicksand you were sinking in."

"You’re not making sense."

"Me on the other hand, I’m always trying to get away from reality. That’s my problem, I guess. I suppose I’ve cheated death more times than I should be allowed. If I only could have switched placed with him. If only I had been the one..."

"What are you talking about? I know this isn’t the drug talking now."

"It would be nice, don’t you think, to be in that state of calmness forever? To never awaken to the reality of what I was driven to because I never measured up to my older brother. To kill myself and become a new person with people who actually care about me and not a dead relative of mine that I could never measure up to. No personal accomplishments, just failure after failure in my mediocre attempt at standing on the pillar that my parents made for Nate. The desire for love and compassion in hearts that were turned to ice the day he died. It wouldn’t matter, Vince. If I did. With my knowledge and skill, I could very easily make it look natural...Oh, yeah. I did it with her, Vince. Lori’s one of the few women that I actually forget reality with."

"Everyone does that."

"And what Nick said..."

"You’re taking Nick way too seriously. You know he just bitches pretty loud."

"No. I’ve just tried too hard to forget the demon I actually am."

Vince straddled his legs over Brian’s and gazed directly into his eyes.

"Don’t start this again. I already knew where your mind was going because of the irrational string of conversation we just had. Stop thinking about placing yourself into oblivion. You did tell me not to lament over my mistakes. You also told me to leave the past buried. You should do the same. Forget about your previous life. You have a life right here with the band and I’m not letting you give that up. You’re too important to us," he said and Brian stared at him.

"You’re right. I never thought of it that way. How could you have figured that out? You didn’t make the best marks at your school," Brian said as Vince unconsciously lowered himself onto Brian’s legs.

"I may not have had a lot of book learning but I’m observant when I want to be. And that’s excluding the women. Brian, I know you’ve got a lot of problems and stuff but this is where you belong. You’re my writer and without you, this band wouldn’t even exist. You’ve got visions and we’ll make it someday. Just forget about your past. Don’t even think about it. Let it burn in hell where it belongs. It’s not doing you any good living in reality. You can do nothing about your past. Not even now, no matter how much you want to change it so just kill it. There’s a future right here. This is your life. Don’t throw that away."

"Thanks Vince. I really appreciate this. Man, if I didn’t know you were straight, I’d think this pose would be highly suggestive. So, should I make the first move?"

"What? Oh. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Also, there’s no guarantee that I’d always be a straight man. If I had gone into porn, I’d have to be flexible, wouldn’t I?"  Vince asked as he stood up and smoothed down his pants.

"Too bad I’m not exactly a fancier of men. Not much, anyway," Brian said and Vince frowned.

"Are you serious now or are you just talking?"

"I’m not really sure. Hey. Who let you in?"

"He wanted to see you. He loves you."

"Not in the way I’d like to be loved."

"Is this conversation going to your luck with women lately?"

"There’s nothing to do with luck. I have to feel like it and that feeling doesn’t happen much lately."

"Didn’t you do it with Lori today?"

"Yeah, but doing her doesn’t count."

"How was it?"

"Damn fine. God, I never knew an orgasm could feel so good."

"Yours or hers?"

"Both." 

"So how did you do it?"

"Every way there is and there were some moves I didn’t know."

"I’m sure they’ve invented some."

"Would you allow someone else in the room?"  Steven asked as he stepped into the doorway.

"I don’t know if I feel up to a menage a trios," Brian said and Steven rolled his eyes.

"Don’t get that attitude with me. Now I want an explanation. What was with you earlier?"

"Steve, I’ve told you before to get used to my mood swings. I don’t control them."

"He’s all right now, Steve. Just leave it like that," Vince said and helped Brian up. "Come on. Let’s get you a drink."

"Let’s see if Chris has left any," Brian said as he walked out of the room with Hendrix following him.

"Are you guys leaving me in the dark again?"  Steven asked.

"Isn’t that where managers belong?"

"Shut up Brian."

"At least he’s back to his normal, unstable self," Vince said.

"It’s so nice that I’m loved," Brian said and licked his lips.

"Don’t get too full of yourself."

"Wouldn’t that to lead self-gratification?"

"Shut up."

"I was only being truthful."

"Brian, can’t you find a stable medium?"  Steven asked and Brian shrugged his shoulders.

"That’s too hard," he replied.

"All right. Just don't get too insane on me. Remember, we've got to leave for the club in an hour."

"I'll make sure not to kill myself in that time."

"That's not funny," Steven said and Vince glanced at Brian.

"I'll make sure he stays safe. After all, I think I'm the only one that can keep him somewhat in line," he said and Steven sighed.

"You're very reassuring, Vince."

"I do my best."