Life of a Phoenix

Learning to Trust



Author's Notes: A bit of Erdric and Aryun past history ^-^
Nara helped Erdric into the chair next to hers; casting worried looks at him
every once in a while as he bade Aryun to sit in the chair next to his.
After telling herself that he was ok, that the gentle touch meant nothing,
Aryun slipped into the vacated seat that she had put back up. She slowly
exhaled, looking at the people who were regarding her with open curiosity, if
not a little pride at what she did.
There was a slightly tense silence before the peach haired woman smiled
towards her, inclining her head. "Hello, I'm Mara, the sister of Nara, whom you
have met. She was speaking to us of you and her believes, but first, before
Erdric can say it, I think introductions are in order." She grinned at Erdric
who smiled sheepishly before ducking his head and grinning back at her.
"Maybe if you introduced yourselves first, she might not be so
uncomfortable," Erdric offered gently when no one made a real move to speak.
The pale red-haired woman laughed. "It's not her that should feel
uncomfortable, Erdric, it's us who just saw her take Raygnar down, but enough of
this, I'm Alena, imperial heir of Stantos, and I want to say that was a lovely
jump you did to land on the table. I'm impressed. I've not even seen Erdric move
that fast." The frosty green eyes winked at her. "Erdric, I think you've got
competition, so you'd better train better."
Erdric gave a playful snort, mock glaring at the redhead. "As if I don't do
enough now, you want to increase my work load. Trying to off me, Princess?" The
tone was playful and mocking at the same time.
Alena laughed. "No, what would we do for amusement?"
Erdric sighed and slouched in his chair, very much the young man he was.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. You just love to see me hyperventilate, get frustrated, and
let Raygnar beat me to a pulp."
"No, that's not it. You're just a bright person, Erdric. We all like you here
and can't figure out what is up with Raygnar," Mara sniffed at him, still
smiling. "I have to say that among us present, Nara and I know you better. So
just listen to our judgments!" She wagged a playful finger in his direction.
Nara took the veil off her light lilac hair and shook it out with her fingers
before flinging the veil over Erdric's face. She laughed as he sighed heavily
before dropping it down into his lap, his fingers fiddling with the soft
lavender cloth. Nara smiled at him before patting his shoulder. "Yes. You know
all present care for you, so don't worry about Raygnar, and I think each and
every one of us has gotten him back in some suitable fashion for what he's done
to you." Nara and Mara's voices were similar, yet different. Mara's was huskier,
almost seductive, where as Nara's was light and airy. Alena's was like that as
well. Soft, melodic, but she held a touch of regal-ness that Aryun had in her
own, and she heard echoed in Erdric.
Erdric smiled gently at her before turning around and fixing the remaining
members of the council with a solemn look.
A young man with pale, almost frosted, green hair grinned, waving his hand at
the sober lord. He succeeded with making the young man slightly smile. The young
man turned to regard Aryun with bright frosted green eyes. They were much deeper
than the princess' were. "Um, I'm the resident Priest, yah know, the one
everyone goes to see when they get in a scrape." He winked at the rest of the
group who chuckled. "Eh, I think Erdric said it best when he called me 'Warrior
Priest'. Just seems to fit 'cause I love to fight, and not be humble."
An elderly man beside him snorted and the pale green haired man rolled his
eyes. "Oh, come on, Old Man, you know it's true."
The Elderly man was dressed in pale brown robes, and his hair was stark
white. He was bald save for the long beard that flowed probably down to his
waist. "I wasn't disputing that." He arched a white eyebrow at the young man who
was still watching him. "Well, are you going to be a fool and not properly
introduce yourself to the lady? She's waiting for you to finish your
introduction. I'm interested if you can get through this without inserting your
foot in your mouth!"
The easy-going man laughed at himself, and turned his smile back on Aryun.
"I'm Xristis, a priest of the Holy Order." This statement created several
snickers from the other people. "What?! I am still a priest! I don't care
what you guys think!"
Erdric muttered under his breath. "Not for long the way you two are heading."
This caused Nara and Mara to break into hysterical laughter, Alena to flush
bright red, and Xristis to blush faintly as well.
The elderly man was chuckling as well, for he knew the two in question. He
smiled brightly at Aryun, which for some reason made her easy. He was an elderly
version of someone she once knew. She smiled back at him, hesitantly.
Erdric piped up, in rare humor. "Don't worry, Xristis. You're doing much
better than when I first met you. I mean you're not writhing on a bed groaning
in pain." Xristis flushed again at Erdric's cute jibe.
The elderly man chuckled lightly. "Since my companion made an eloquent fool
out of himself and thus inserted his foot into his mouth, trust me when I say
that I am simply called Brey. I am a simple mage and advisor to Princess Alena.
Other than that, I'm just an old man." He grinned at the rest of the group and
they laughed again.
Taloun smiled at Aryun, and her own smile faded. "You know me, I'm Taloun, a
merchant of Lorithian."
Aryun nodded in faint greeting, and gave a faint smile. "Well, I know all of
you now, so here it goes." She took a slow, deep breath before she spoke. "I am
Aryun Narice KimVay." She gave a nod of her head, very courtly in her behavior.
"I am honored to meet you all. Your fame precedes you." A little frown tugged at
her lips. "I still don't really understand about the whole situation. All I know
is that it's something about the Resurrectio Malefacti, and something
about the Center and the Chosen . . ." Her brow furrowed more and she thought
back to Erdric's proclamation.
Alena thought as well before she spoke. "Yes, well, Erdric is the Chosen, and
we know now that you are the Center. As for how that works in, I know not, but
Erdric knows more about the Resurrectio Malefacti, and with his consent,
he'll likely tell you all he knows on it."
Erdric's eyes were shaded as he nodded his head, his voice tight. "Agreed. I
can try and speak of what I know concerning 'Sar . . . Necros." His voice
trembled and broke on the name, almost as if there were secrets to be sniffed
out.
Aryun watched him out of the corner of her eye, noticing the absent way he
fiddled with Nara's hair veil. Nearly twisting it as he said those words. His
knuckles were white upon the fabric as he twisted it. "Only if he wants to speak
of it. I won't accept the offer if he isn't comfortable speaking of it."
Erdric started, his eyes wide and face pale as he looked at her. "You . . . I
mean, you say . . ." He took a deep breath. "You don't want me to speak of it?"
Aryun looked over at him, the shaded pain was obvious in his eyes for all to
see, and his face was pale, almost like a wraith. "Not unless you wish to. I've
made my life reading people's faces, body actions and tones . . . you seem
reluctant to speak, so you don't have to, and I won't make, nor ask you speak if
it distresses you so much." Aryun caught a sparkle of something in his eyes and
she just pointed casually under the table to him.
Erdric sighed as he glanced down at the knotted and frayed veil. "Ah . . .
agreed, Lady Aryun . . . I do not wish to speak of it, but perhaps in a few
hours I can work my courage up to speak of things . . . It's not a
responsibility I relish . . ." He made a face, and Nara placed a comforting hand
upon his shoulder which he, to the amazement of all save Nara, Mara, and Aryun,
shrugged off with restrained force. He sighed, keeping away from all of them,
slowly drawing himself inside.
Aryun sighed and looked away, knowing somehow she made the right choice in
giving him the chance to back out of it.
Her thoughts were interrupted as Erdric slid his seat out further, stepping
around the chair with care to make sure he touched no one before handing back
Nara's veil. His hands carefully avoided hers as he bowed his head. "I
apologize, Nara. I shall buy you another one."
Nara nodded her head. "You don't have to, Erdric, but I know that you will do
what you say despite my protests."
A very faint smile showed on his lips before it was lost completely. "I
apologize. I need to be alone for a whole, I hope you do not mind so much . . .
I . . . just have things I need to sort out before I speak of that . . . that
time."
Alena made a move to speak, but Mara placed a hand upon her arm, stopping the
words before they did more damage. They all nodded their head in acceptance, as
he started to walk off, but he stopped, paced back to Aryun's seat.
His hand shook as he placed his fingertips upon her shoulder. "Thank you for
the choice. I've been forced once too often, and it is a part of my life I wish
I could leave behind." He sighed, his fingers sliding off as he turned and
walked down to the opposite doors, and slipped through them with nary a sound.
Aryun sighed, her face drawn in compassionate pain. "What happened to him?"
Mara sighed as Nara brushed out the veil, untying the knots that Erdric had
worried there. "He's . . . had a rough life, Lady Aryun. Please excuse his
behavior."
Aryun looked up at Mara sharply, a small glare etched in the sapphire depths.
"Don't excuse him for behavior. It's perfectly acceptable considering what his
behavior has been so far." She nodded to herself. "Although he shouldn't have
allowed Raygnar to hurt him." She sighed, "But there's probably a reason for his
passive-ness."
Alena watched her with closed eyes, as did they all. Alena slowly tilted her
head before she pursed her lips to speak. "What do you think happened to him,
Lady Aryun? I want to see if you see something I failed to notice until he was
forced by Raygnar to tell us."
Aryun sighed again, looking around the table at all of them. "You all know
his past, so you want to test me to see what I see within him, correct?"
The group nodded, and Mara spoke out this time. "Nara and I know the full
extent of his past. They were spared details. We were not."
Nara sadly nodded her head, her fingers brushing over the veil. "He's . . .
well, he confided in us. We were the first he met outside . . . his village."
Her eyes were an icy blue as they looked at Aryun. "Please, tell us what you
see. You won't be held in contempt or regarded as weird because we all love
Erdric and want him healed, but I think that last step will be a long time
coming."
Aryun took a breath and nodded before she spoke. "He's . . . in pain of some
type. He's like me in the fact that he doesn't like touch, or so I thought until
he hugged you so warmly, Nara. He's been abused, I think . . . some how or some
way . . . but that's all I'm hazarding on guessing. As to how I know, look at
me, and I show the same signs . . ." She sighed as she tucked a strand of
red-gold hair away from her face, and then gave a self-loathing smile. "After
all, I've been through it too."
Alena watched her, as did Nara and Mara. Mara was the first to speak. t;Wht;What
do you mean, Lady Aryun?"
Aryun laughed at herself before she spoke. "Please, just call me Aryun. I am
no means a lady, much to the chagrin of my masters. But . . . I can fully
understand his reactions. I react that way myself on a few things. Touch is a
big part of it. I don't like to be touched. Ever since I was a young child, I
learned, or at least, I thought, that being treated rough is the way of life. I
thought that children were supposed to be smacked. I still adhere that. Yes, if
they are disrespectful to anyone, disobey a rule meant for their safety, to swat
their rears, but that's about it." She sighed, her fingers hesitantly fluttering
over her cheek with the scar. "I thought it was normal that I get smacked,
beaten for messing up my chores until I finally realized that I wasn't doing any
wrong, but I just wasn't good enough for my father . . . who wasn't my
father at all." She snorted, her hand falling to her lap. "I've been hounded,
beaten, abused, raped, and left in gutters to die before. I've never made the
same mistake twice, so if Raygnar accosts me again, he will pay for that with
blood." Her eyes sparkled a deadly blue.
Nara switched chairs, coming closer to Aryun, but wouldn't touch her. "You
say beaten, abused and raped. Isn't that what the scar is for? A reminder?"
Aryun's eyes went slightly wide, but enough for Nara to notice it. "Yes . . .
I . . . Well," she sighed before she thought of anything else. She might give
herself away, but there was no hope now since they all knew her name. She might
as well be upfront about things, not to destroy a tentative trust they had in
her. "This . . . might be a long story, but . . . I might as well tell you. Are
we not partners in a crime?" She smiled mockingly at the situation. "I was born
many years ago, very far away. To make a very long story short, my father and
his kin, as well as the rest of the servants beat me daily. At birth, I was
betrothed to a man by the name of Faxon. He was a loyal knight to my father, and
wanted me far more than I ever thought of him. When I was sixteen, my father
broke of the betrothal to him, and betrothed me to another knight who I never
knew. I still don't know his name, but I now know it was a plot to relieve me of
my throne. The Onyx Throne was mine, and could only be passed on to the
first-born child. No stipulations upon the gender of the child. I made the
mistake of turning my back upon Faxon when he came to my chambers to beg me to
marry him anyway, stating his love and devotion. My mistake. My foolish, foolish
mistake. He slipped something into my wine . . ."
Aryun paused for a second, a scowl etching in her face. "My mistake. I turned
my back on someone I didn't trust. He drugged me, beat me, rapped me, and they
ran to my father and the High Priest who denied me, shunned me, and accused me
of being a seducer and a whore. I could do nothing to protest. I was still
drugged. So my own father, or who I believed to be my father, slashed my face.
It was a sign of being a whore in my land . . . I was thrown out that night,
beaten, battered, bloodied, and I could barely move without the pain stabbing at
my insides. I was lucky. Master Nicodemus found me, took me, and cared for me
despite the havoc I caused the poor old man." She sighed. "So I know abuse when
I see it . . . It's fairly obvious for me."
Mara, Nara nodded their heads, while the rest agreed. Nara sighed. "He was
abused, that's all I can say within the company. You are right . . . Maybe you
might start him healing with this. Raygnar was vicious in making him speak . . .
twisted his arm, forcing him up against the wall, making him tell us what he
knew about Necros . . . It . . . wasn't a pretty sight. Erdric was nearly
frantic, panicking, and extremely frightened at being forced against the wall,
being hurt and made to speak . . . He evidently thought that you might do the
same."
Aryun nodded. "It's understandable." She thought for a few seconds. "There's
something about Lord Erdric that I want to help . . . I see his pain as plain as
sunlight on snow, and I want to ease that . . . I know what abuse can do to
someone . . . I tried several times to kill myself, but unfortunately, I heal a
lot faster than normal humans, so I cannot take my own life."
Xristis looked horrified. "You've tried . . . I mean, you've actually tried
to kill yourself?"
Aryun laughed. "Don't feel so much horror. I, evidently, was meant to live.
Besides," she waved her hand dismissively. "I am immortal, and cannot truly
die."
Nara sighed, leaning back into the chair. "Then you are the one Foretold. You
are the Center of this ordeal."
Aryun turned her head and looked at Nara quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"I was given a Vision not long before I caught your arm. I dreamed of you,
Lady Aryun, and I knew you must meet Erdric. It is why I was so insistent upon
the situation. I have a feeling you'll change our lives, and change Erdric's for
the better. He is the one with whom you must speak to if you wish to know the
future. He likely won't know, but within . . . within that slender body lays
power. He must take up his sword again to defend this world . . . And you are
the one to teach him that." Nara gave her a soft smile. "Go to him," she said as
she swept her hand to show the other set of doors. "Learn from him and allow him
to learn from you. Let him come out himself to speak to you, and do not force
him."
Aryun's eyes were fierce. "I will never force another to do something they
wish not to do."
Nara nodded. "Good. Now go to him to learn part of his past involving the
Resurrectio Malefacti, for I do not think he would wish all of us to hear
what he says. Sometimes, it's easier to speak to a stranger than a friend."
Aryun nodded slowly, tucking her loose hair behind her ear. Slowly, she rose
and walked to the large bronze doors. They were plain but delicately crafted and
she slowly placed the tips of her fingers upon the door, and a crack widened
between the massive gates.
With a deep breath, Aryun ducked between the doors . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The room that Aryun entered was large, and columned like the last, but only
one large opening appeared. This gaping hole seemed to take up the entire south
face, letting the sunlight stream into the room. The stones were a smoothed
gray, almost polished like river stones, and glimmered in the soft light. Her
boots made soft clicks as she slowly walked more into the room, the large bronze
doors quietly shutting behind her.
Aryun sighed, brushing more of her unruly hair out of her face. "Now, where
could he be . . ."
"He's over here, Phoenix Aryun."
Aryun jumped looking around the room. "This just isn't right. First Lord
Erdric scared me, and now someone else does as well!"
There was a pleasant chuckling and a tall, elderly seeming man walked out.
"It seems Erdric was distressed . . . He should be alright within a few more
minuets . . . You see, he's occupied at the moment." His deep green eyes
sparkled in the light from the sun and glinted off his shimmering bronze hair.
"Please, enter my chambers and by all means, sit down and speak to me." He
smiled brilliantly at her before turning and walking towards a large in ground
circle.
Aryun stared stunned for a few seconds before following the man further into
the chamber. She noticed now that there were a few bookcases along the wall,
along with several weapons as well as a small writing table and a few chairs.
The man stopped, turned and smiled at her again. "Come, sit by my fire and
relate why you are here."
Aryun was confused and did what was bid of her without so much as a second
thought. "May I ask who you are, sir?" Her blue eyes were wide, noticing the odd
grace about the man.
She nearly fell out of her seat when his eyes turned to hers, and she saw the
agelessness within them. Almost as if he's seen the whole world, and now she
knew why people said she seemed ageless. His eyes seemed to hold knowledge
within the deep emerald depths.
"Me? I'm Tashi'niti, and you are the Lady Phoenix." He gave another smile.
"Where is Erdric, sir? We were supposed to speak of things." Aryun watched
him appraisingly before she nodded her head in greeting, approving the name.
Tashi'niti's robes swirled around his ankles as he turned and pointed.
Aryun's blue eyes followed, resting upon the sitting form of Erdric. His
hands were crossed and dangling loosely as his upper arms were braced upon his
upraised knees. His head burried between the arms as his back rose and fell with
soft breaths, smooth and calm.
There was laughter that laced Tashi'niti's voice. "As you can see, he's
occupied."
She tilted her head, regarding Erdric's easy form. "With what though?"
"Sorting through memories, dulling pain, closing himself off and distancing
himself from his own fears and pains."
Aryun turned back to the older man. "But why? I know that memories can be
painful, but-"
She was cut off swiftly. "As you know, the mind can wreak havoc upon the
body. They are dreadful memories for him, not pleasant at all, Lady Phoenix. You
of all of those in that other room, knew and understood his reactions. So why
does it not surprise you, that if he was as you said, that he would want to
block those memories?"
"No, it doesn't surprise me, Sir, but it bothers me that he won't face them."
"Ah. There's your problem, Lady Phoenix. It's not that he won't face them; he
can't. What happened to him shattered him far deeper than I think even Nara and
Mara know. I know very little of that time, certainly not as much as Mara and
Nara, but I know what I see. So leave him be for the few minuets he needs to
gather himself." Tashi'niti smoothed out his robes before he sat down upon a
chair, patiently waiting for Erdric to come back to himself.
"You know me, Tashi'niti, but how?"
There was a predatory grin upon his face, showing sharpened teeth. "I know,
because you were Foretold."
Aryun sighed and rolled her eyes. "Everyone seems to say that." She seemed to
feel at ease with the elderly gentle man.
He laughed, and it was warm and friendly. "Indeed they do, but that is all we
know. The name matches the vision of the woman." He stopped as he stood, walking
over to the sitting form of Erdric.
Aryun's ears caught the sound of Erdric's quite groan. She watched as
Tashi'niti stopped beside him and knelt. His hands were gentle as they slipped
under his face, grasping his chin and pulling his hep.
p.
"Erdric. Are you with me now?" The voice was very soft, very gentle and
loving as the fingers that brushed across Erdric's pale face. The fingers
trailed over his forehead, his cheeks and gently brushed through the sea-green
hair. "Erdric, are you awake?"
Aryun watched his eyes flutter, almost drowsy as he looked up into
Tashi'niti's worried green eyes. "Master Dragon," he murmured, his voice rough
with seeming sleep. "I feel . . . better for lack of another word . . . I still
feel the pain, but it's further back . . . Thank you, Master Dragon." He closed
his eyes, leaning his face against the supporting hand. He sighed, brushing his
face against the hand before lowering his arms to his side to push himself up.
"I must speak with the Lady Aryun."
"She's right here, Erdric. No need to get up." Tashi'niti laughed lightly at
the startled expression upon Erdric's face. His eyes went wide, large and
vulnerable as he slowly turned his head to look at the seated Aryun.
Aryun gave him a tentative smile, very hesitant, as she rose, slowly walking
over to sit down in front of him. "No need to move. The floor has always been
more comfortable than chairs for me. I guess it's my heathen behavior." She
settled down, crossing her legs and laying her hands palm down upon her knees,
showing she was no harm.
Erdric shifted, resting his arms back upon his legs, watching her. "I take it
you want to talk." His body was still tense, but not nearly as it was.
Aryun shook her head. "No. Not really. Maybe just about anything, or nothing.
Doesn't have to be what you think it should be. Just random things, whatever you
wish to talk about basically." She tilted her head, her blue eyes watching him
as he watched back as intently. "Or whatever you wish me to talk about."
His eyes were guarded as he brushed his bangs out of his face, tucking them
behind his ear. "Alright, what say we talk about?" His eye slid over to
Tashi'niti who was sitting beside the both of them, settling down and watching
them.
Aryun shrugged. "As I said, it's up to you. Talk of whatever you wish." She
watched Erdric as he watched her. "Or we can just sit here if you'd like."
Erdric sighed and looked away, gazing out at the sun-dappled clouds. "Have
you ever felt that your life was over? Everything that you were born for is
finished, and thus you have no purpose in life?"
"Yes, several times."
"In the past few months, I've wanted to kill myself more than I care to
remember. I just want to quit while I'm ahead. I've often wondered if anyone
would actually care if I tossed myself off this cloud and fell to my death far
below, or if I disappeared, who would bother to search?" He sighed, his fingers
closing together, wrists held above the other and palms together. "I have to
wonder what it's like to live in peace. Never knowing a moments want, living in
happiness with the woman I loved . . . It's just thoughts like these . . . Never
seeing my foster mother again . . ." He sighed again, looking back to Aryun, his
sea-green eyes haunted. "I just feel like there's no direction, no help, and no
easing my pain . . ." He looked down at his clenched hands, and wrapped them
around his knees.
"It might shock you, Lord Erdric, but I have actually tried it. It does no
good, other than hurt those that care for you." With hesitation and feeling very
much uncomfortable, Aryun slipped her hands over her slender black bracers,
untying them with ease. Slowly, she slipped them over her slender hands, baring
her forearms. "There was a time, Lord Erdric, where I needed to cut myself, to
make myself bleed and feel pain to make sure I was alive. I was beaten, abused,
raped, left for dead, and cast off my rightful crown. I had lost everything I
had within an hour of my life. I was only sixteen . . . that's when I started my
binge of cutting myself. I tried many, many times to kill myself." She lo
i
intently at the scars and held her arms out, forearms up so that he could see
her scars.
She laughed somewhat bitterly as she stared at her wounds. "Hell, I even
threw myself through a stain glass window, falling fifty feet to the court yard
below . . . and I still can't die."
Tashi'niti was just sitting beside the two, almost as a buffer to protect one
or the other, but so far, there seemed no need. Aryun was as civil and polite as
Erdric, the same cool detachment present in their demeanor.
Erdric watched her, his eyes studying her face. Slowly, his fingers came out
to brush against the scars. "No solace comes from hurting one's self . . . as
you said, it hurts those who love you more than you think . . . that still
doesn't stop me from believing I should die."
Aryun sighed, her fingers of her right hand catching his in a gentle grip. "I
see you, Lord Erdric Cathaoir Media Hieme. What I see, is a bright young man who
is strong and intelligent. Let that intelligence rule you for the time being. Be
strong and don't give in. Trust me when I say it'll do you no good to dwell on
it. I've had thousands of years to ponder my cursed existence. You are young.
Don't taint yourself with such thoughts. Live life the way you can. Find peace
in strife and agony, find it in war and sorrow."
Erdric listened intently as he stared at their entwined fingers. "I have
tried, Lady Aryun. Trust me when I say I have tried." His fingers tightened upon
hers, and his heart reveled in the soft touch that was freely given to once such
as he. He looked up and became lost in the depths of her sapphire gaze. Drowning
in her shimmering sea, Erdric thought that maybe, she was right.
Life is not always as it seems.