Pain and.. pain?

Thanks a lot for all the reviews I got for the last one, yes I know the cliffie was evil :D
And thanks for those who pointed out the mistakes I made, I'm fixing them when I find the time. I dont have a beta so help is appreciated, I wont get angry for those pointing out grammar mistakes and such, dont worry:D

Also, someone asked about a mailing list and I'm sorry to say that i dont currently have one. Maybe I'll put one up later for my other stories, I dont know yet.

As for this story, I'm sorry to say that this is the last chapter!

So only an epilogue is coming up after this one which I have already finished. i've already moved on to next projects, the trouble is there is too many stories in my mind at the moment and i cant decide which one to focus on.

but, hope you like this and remember, rewieving makes the epilogue come up faster ;)

love you all!



CHAPTER 49



“Jason?” A voice asked from the shadows and my body jerked in shock.

“K-Kevin?” I asked in a shaky voice and hugged myself a little tighter.

The broad-shouldered bouncer emerged from the darkness and a smile curved his lips. “Hi, kid. What are you doing here this late?” He asked and I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding in.

“How.. How did you..”

“Cody called me. Apparently Ron had called him that you were out in some park alone and needed to be picked up. Cody couldn’t break away from work so he called me. So, what are you doing here?” Kevin said and came to sit next to me on the bench.

“I just.. I.. hmm. I wanted to get out.”

“From New Dawn?”Kevin asked and when I glanced at him, smiled again. “Cody told me you moved in there. It’s a good place, I’ve heard about it.” He said and I hunched my shoulders.

“I don’t like it. I don’t want to go back.” I mumbled and Kevin sighed.

“Why not Jason?

“I don’t want to live there, it’s like prison. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

“You don’t have to be afraid in New Dawn, Jason.” Kevin said and I felt my patience flare up.

“How would you know that?! Have you ever lived there?! Have you ever been shoved around from one place to another just because no one cares?!” I spat and took a deep ragged breath, my anger deflating and fear igniting again. I hunched on the bench until my forehead was resting against my knees, afraid of Kevin’s reaction.

The big bouncer just sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. “You’re right, I don’t know how it feels to be shoved around. I’m sorry.” He said, surprising the hell out of and I tried to dry my eyes and cheeks without him noticing.

“S-Sorry. I.. I didn’t m-mean to y-yell at you.” I muttered quietly and felt a hand on my back.

“It’s alright, Jason. It’s alright to be angry.” Kevin said and rubbed my back in a slow circling motion. We just staid like that for moment; I closed my eyes and let myself be soothed by his touch.

“Do you think they’ll find dad and Jonathan?” I asked then, breaking the comfortable silence and Kevin’s hand stilled on my back. I sat up and looked at him, tears clinging to my cheeks but not flowing anymore. The bouncer matched eyes with me evenly, his face serious.

“Eventually yes, but there’s no knowing how long that will take. No one can run forever, kid.” He said and I nodded, looking down.

“I went there today. Dad’s I mean.” I mumbled and heavy silence descended between us. “I just stared at the building from across the street, I didn’t go inside, don’t worry.”

“You’re dad’s not there, Jason.” Kevin reminded me and I nodded.

“I know. I just.. They’re still out there. Jonathan found me at Rose’s. He’ll find me at New Dawn. The difference is that at New Dawn I’m on my own. If I disappear, they won’t care, they’ll just think I decided to leave and empty number 254 for someone else.” I whispered and stared into the darkness, not really seeing the empty park in front of me.

“254?”

“Hmm, my room.” I mumbled, making a small nodding motion with my head and got on my feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble again, Kevin. I.. I need to go back or I’ll miss the curfew. If I get in trouble they’ll kick me out and I don’t have anywhere else to go. We both know I can’t take care of myself on the streets.”

Kevin took in my hunched shoulders and impassive voice before rising on his feet and nodding. He motioned me to follow him and led the way, tracing back his steps to his car waiting on the parking lot outside the park.


The ride across town went on in silence. I sat still on my seat and stared at the dashboard in front of me, remembering the other times I had been in this car; when I had met Kevin for the first time when he had picked me up for work, when he had taken me home after Jonathan’s rape, when he had come to get me from the phone booth in the middle of the night.

There was no doubt that Kevin had made a big difference in my life and I felt bad for thinking so badly of him in the beginning when I had accused him of bribing Tristan.

When I saw the wall surrounding New Dawn and the black gates, my heart felt heavy and I stared at the building numbly. I fished out my new phone and checked the time. I had ten minutes before curfew.

Kevin was looking at the building too before glancing at me. “Here we are.”

I nodded stiffly and unbuckled my seatbelt slowly. “Thanks. For the ride and.. everything.” I mumbled, not looking at Kevin and grabbed the handle. I stepped outside and closed the door before walking to the gates and pressing the little black button attached to the frame; the doorbell I was supposed to ring when I came so that the supervisor on shift could buzz the gate open for me.

I heard the light buzz and grabbed the handle to pull the heavy gate open. I was about to step through it when a hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump. I whipped around, my heart skipping a beat and gasping for air.

Kevin let go of my shoulder and smiling apologetically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” he said and I took a deep breath, pressing a hand against my chest over my racing heart.

“I didn’t hear you.” I breathed out and pressed my forehead against the frame of the black iron gate. Damn he had scared the shit out of me. For a split second I had thought it was Jonathan or dad. I lifted my head and turned to look at Kevin, question in my eyes.

“I.. Hmm, I was thinking. You don’t want to live here, do you?” Kevin asked, his voice carrying an uncharacteristic undertone; hesitance. I shook me head and frowned a little.

A smile ghosted over Kevin’s lips and he asked. “Well, what if you’d come live with me?”

I just stared at him in shock and my mouth dropped open. “W-What?”

More hesitation flashed in the big bouncers face and I glanced at the yellow building across the yard and then back at him. Was he teasing me? Was this a joke?

“For.. For real?” I asked, fearing for the answer and Kevin smiled again.

“For real. I mean, if you want to. You can keep studying here but you wouldn’t have to live here.” He said and tears flooded my eyes again.

I let go of the gate and jumped him, throwing my arms around his waist and hugging hard. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I cried out and buried my face against his chest, soaking his shirt with my tears. My cheeks were starting feel raw after all the crying I had done today.

Kevin’s arms came around me and rubbed circles in my back again. The gate clunked shut next to us but I barely noticed, clinging onto Kevin for dear life. A hand entwined in my hair, soothing it back and I sniffled against Kevin’s chest, trying to stop the tears.

“You’re going to miss your curfew.” He chuckled and I pulled away from him, wiping my snotty nose in the bandages that had been freshly white just this morning but now looked a bit grimy already. I sniffled and looked at the closed gate before stabbing the doorbell again.

The gate buzzed open again and Kevin pulled it open for me. “Do you want me to come with you?” He asked and I nodded, feeling nervous now.

We crossed the yard and stepping into the lobby, faced an irritated supervisor. “The doorbell is not for fun and games. If you don’t intend to come in, don’t ring it.” The woman in her mid-thirties said in a strict voice before her eyes fell on Kevin. “And night visitors are not allowed. I’m going to have to ask you to leave right now.”

“I’m just getting my stuff. I’m leaving.” I said, pushing past the lady towards the stairs.

“Excuse me?”

“He said he was leaving.” Kevin repeated and followed me. The lady had the sense of not to try to stop him. Apparently being built like a bulldozer had its advantaged.

Kevin followed me upstairs and looked around when I dug out my key and opened the door to number 254. I hurried in and started throwing my stuff back into the bag. Kevin watched by and picked up my bag when I was done.

“You got everything?” He asked and I nodded, turning towards the door just as John walked in his pajamas and slippers.

“Jason, what’s going on?” He asked and studied Kevin suspiciously.

“I’m leaving.” I mumbled, not looking at him and clutching my backpack nervously.

“Sorry, who are you?” John asked Kevin, ignoring me completely.

“Kevin Donner.” Kevin said and offered his hand to John.

“John Ripley, the manager.”

“Nice to meet you.” Kevin said pleasantly, lifting my bag on his shoulder and John glanced at me.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m leaving.” I said, louder this time and lifted my head to look at him.

“Jason, you just moved in today. Where are you going?” John asked, his brow furrowing and Kevin set his hand on my shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

“Jason is coming to live with me.”

John looked at Kevin again, his frown deepening and opened his mouth to question more.

“I’m eighteen, you can’t stop me from leaving.” I said before he could get a word out and stared at him with determination. Kevin glanced at me and then locked eyes with John with a smile.

“I was thinking Jason could still come here for tutoring, I would make sure that he turns up.” He said and John sighed lightly.

“Well, we have a few others who live outside but we usually like our students to live in at first.” He said and I hugged my backpack to myself.

“I don’t care if they won’t let me study here if I move out. I’m not staying.” I mumbled and Kevin’s hold on my shoulder tightened a little.

“Jason.” He said and my head snapped up. I stared at him with tears glistening in my eyes again before sniffling.

“You promised!”

“Ssh, I still want you to live with me. I just want you to graduate high school too.” Kevin shushed me and moved his hand from my shoulder to run slightly through my hair in a soothing manner. John was watching us carefully and seemed to be contemplating something. Finally he spoke up.

“Alright. I already told Jason that he could have tomorrow off before starting his studies. Bring him here on Tuesday morning at eight for lessons. We’ll try this for a month but if he skips class, I can’t let him attend lessons here.”

Kevin nodded seriously and offered his hand to John again. “He won’t miss class and he will focus on his studies.” He said and the two men shook hands again. I just stood by with my head down and shuffled closer to Kevin when John turned his gaze on me.

“Jason?”

“I won’t skip class.” I said quickly and the man’s lips curved in a smile.

“Good. See you on Tuesday, don’t be late.” He said and I looked up carefully.

“I won’t.” I whispered and glanced at Kevin carefully. He was smiling too and set his hand on my shoulder again.

“Well, it’s getting late, we should get going.” He said and John nodded, turning towards the door. We stepped into the hallway and I held up the room key for him a bit hesitantly. John took it with a smile and walked us downstairs to the front door.

“Good night.” He wished before closing the door after us and I breathed in the cool night air, relief washing over me.




When we arrived at Kevin’s, I looked around the familiar apartment and felt a sense of peace. Kevin walked towards the bedroom and said. “You can have the bedroom, I’ll sleep on the couch. We need to find a bigger place for us.”

“You.. You don’t have to. I’ll take the couch.” I tried and Kevin threw a glance at me that just shut me up.

“We’ve been through this before, Jason. You’ll take the bed.” He said and disappeared through the bedroom door with my bag. I followed him with a sigh and found him standing in front of the wardrobe, making room for my clothes by moving his own from one shelve to others. Luckily I didn’t have much stuff still and all my clothes fit on one shelve.

“Are you hungry? It’s late but you can sleep late tomorrow.” Kevin asked while piling my clothes neatly on the empty shelve and my stomach answered for me by growling loudly. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, if mauling my pancakes counted as eating.

Kevin glanced at me with a smile and closed the wardrobe. “Change into your PJs and I’ll whip something up quickly.” He said and moved past me out of the room. I walked in and sat on the bed tentatively before grinning to myself and throwing myself backwards on my back.

I was living with Kevin!

I turned onto my belly and crawled up the bed until I could press my face against Kevin’s pillow. It smelled familiar and made me smile even wider. I felt safe here.

I moved to hop off the bed and hurried to get changed, my hunger taking over now that I didn’t have the ball of dread in there. By the time I walked into the kitchen, Kevin was setting bowls on the table and motioned me to sit down. He had made porridge and ladled a big portion in my bowl before taking some for himself.

I dug in hungrily and just focused in eating until I heard a throaty chuckle. I glanced up and gulped down the last mouthful. “What?”

“It’s good to see that you’ve started eating better. You look a lot healthier too.” Kevin said and I smiled.

“I loved Rose’s cooking. I’ve never eaten better food in my life.”

Kevin smile too and dipped his spoon into his porridge before asking. “How was your foster family? Cody said you settled in well.”

I nodded and ate a little bit more before answering. “It was hard at first. But I really liked it there. I didn’t want to leave.”

“I heard you have a boyfriend now too?” Kevin said and I blushed.

“Y-Yeah. Chris.”

“Do you love him?” Kevin asked and I looked at him, matching eyes with him.

“I do. And he loves me too.”

Kevin smiled and raised his spoon at me. “I want to meet him. Ask him to come over for dinner, Rose too.” He said and I nodded, a little nervous.

We ate in silence for a moment until I picked up my courage and said. “I.. hn, I heard you got community service.”

Kevin nodded seriously and said. “I’m working in a hospital washing sheets five days a week for a few more months. It’s alright, don’t worry about me.” I nodded too and concentrated on my porridge again. It felt heavenly in my empty stomach and made me feel a lot better already.

“I go to work at eight so I can drop you off at New Dawn on my way to work every morning. You can stay there until I get off from work at four and pick you up, okay?” He said and glanced at me questioningly.

I nodded and licked the underside of my spoon.

“I’ll start looking for a bigger apartment tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to move because of me. I can sleep on the couch, it’s no problem.” I said quietly and Kevin looked at me strictly.

“You can’t sleep on the couch forever and neither can I. You need your own space and peace to study and I’ve been thinking about moving anyway. The only difference is that instead of one bedroom apartment I’m looking for one with two. I asked you to move in with me Jason. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t want you here.” He said and I nodded, giving up on the subject, knowing that I couldn’t change Kevin’s mind.

I never could and probably never would either. I didn’t care, I was just happy to be out of New Dawn.