Pain and.. pain?

Thanks for the reviews and here's the next chapter for you:)
I'll be going away for a long weekend to meet my friend in Helsinki so the next update wont be until early next week, sorry.

Hope you like it and please review after reading to let me know what you think! Thanks!

Hughs!




CHAPTER 48




We were woken up the next morning by Rose, which made me even more thankful that I had insisted on PJs the night before.

“Jason, dear?” Rose asked, sitting on the bed and I creaked my eyes open reluctantly. She was watching us with a smile and brushed my hair away from my face when she saw that I was awake. “It’s time to get up. Are you tired?”

I mumbled something incoherent and leaned into her warm touch. Chris grumbled something into my back, his face buried between my shoulder blades and Rose smiled sweetly. “Christopher dear, time to wake up.” She said and reached to brush Chris’ hair too.

“Does he have to go?” Chris asked barely audible, tightening his hold on me. I opened my eyes to look at Rose and met her warm eyes.

“I’m afraid so, dear. Jason, you need to take a shower before breakfast, alright? Both of you get dressed and come downstairs, there’s pancakes.” Rose said and I nodded.

I watched Rose leave and close the door behind her before turning in Chris’ hold, facing him. “Morning.”

“Morning.”

I stared at Chris closely, trying my hardest to press a memory in my mind with him still sleepy and looking utterly adorable trying to wake up. I liked watching him struggle to wake himself up, it was so cute and he looked younger like this, like he didn’t have all the history on his shoulders I knew he did.

Chris finally looked up at me and wrinkled his face when he saw me staring at him. I smiled and pulled him into a tight hug, burying my nose against the nape of his neck to get his scent. It wasn’t anything fabricated, just genuinely him and I wished I could put him in a bottle and take with me.

“You need to go take that shower.” Chris mumbled into my shoulder and I felt his lips brush over my collar bone. I sighed and squeezed him harder for a moment before pulling away. As soon as I moved, butterflies flooded my stomach and my nerves kicked in.




I took my time in the shower, not in any hurry to get my clothes on and face the world. Chris was already dressed when I returned to the bedroom and was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed, staring at the floor. He looked how I felt and I went to put on the clothes I had left out of my bag last night. I hung my towel to dry over the wardrobe door, I had been told that I would be getting a towel from New Dawn so I didn’t need the one Rose had given me.

I zipped my bag and made sure everything was ready before turning to look at Chris. “Ready?” He asked and I nodded reluctantly.

We headed downstairs for breakfast, Chris holding onto my hand the whole time and faced the rest of the house already seated. The atmosphere wasn’t the usual merriment, nobody was screaming or talking loudly, not even Kristy who usually wouldn’t shut up for a moment. We sat down to eat and I felt uncomfortable in the strained silence.

The pancakes were good but my stomach felt like a slob of stone and I just couldn’t bring myself to eat anything. I kept my head down and concentrated on cutting my pancakes until my plate was full of soggy pieces of cold mush. People started to get up and going but Chris sat still next to me, stabbing his own breakfast unenthusiastically with his fork, looking gloom.

“Chris, eat up. You’re going to miss the bus.” Ron said while clearing the table and Chris’ shoulders slumped.

“I don’t want to go to school today.” He mumbled and I set my hand on his thigh under the table. Chris’ hand covered mine and my lips curved in a smile.

“You have to if you want to graduate in time. Get a move on.” Ron said and I felt Rose’s hand on my shoulder.

“You should eat too, Jason dear.” She said and I looked down at my plate.

“I’m not hungry. I’m sorry.” I mumbled and Rose gave my shoulder a slight squeeze.

“It’s alright dear. You should go get your things then.” She said and I stood up a little shakily. I slouched my way upstairs trailed by Chris who tackled me as soon as we stepped over the threshold. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me flat against him.

“Do you have to go?” Chris whispered into my neck and I slumped against him, tears burning in the back of my eyes.

“I don’t want to.” I sniffled and turned in Chris’ arms, hugging him back. Tears seeped out of my eyes and I buried my face in his shoulder. He was trembling and I hugged him tighter. It broke my heart to see Chris like this because crying was so not him.

“Krhm.” Ron cleared his throat from the door and I rubbed my face against Chris’ shirt to dry up my tears. “We should get going Jason. We need to go to the clinic first to get your stitches removed before going to New Dawn.” He said and Chris let his arms drop.

“You should go.” He sniffled and I hugged him tighter.

“No.”

“Jason.” Ron sighed from the door and Chris nuzzled his way from my shoulder to my lips and gave me a deep kiss.

“I’ll call you.” Chris said and brushed tears away from my cheeks. “Don’t cry, please?”

“But.. But..”

“But what?” Chris asked and there was some of that signature grin in his expression.

“You don’t have my number.” I mumbled and Chris chuckled.

“Cody gave me your number yesterday. All you have to do is to open your presents and charge the phone so I can call you.” He said and I stared at him in amazement for a moment before it turned into a pout.

“And you didn’t tell me yesterday?! I could have charged it over night!” I whined and punched him in the gut.

“Oww. I was a little preoccupied yesterday, remember?” Chris pouted back said and I blushed. Oh yeah.

“Why do I have the feeling I don’t want to know what happened last night?” Ron asked from the door and I locked eyes with Chris for a moment. By the look on his face, I wasn’t the only one who had forgotten that Ron was in the room.

Chris’ mouth fell into a lopsided grin and he pivoted around to face Ron. “We didn’t do anything you need to worry about. So, are you going to give me a ride to school? We both know I’m not going to catch the bus today.”

Ron sighed and turned away from the door. “Hurry up you two. We’re running late.” He said left the room. I hugged Chris from behind and pressed my cheek against his back.

“I don’t want to hurry.”

“Me neither but I think we have to.” Chris sighed turned to face me again. “I’m really going to miss you. Charge your phone as soon as you can so I can call you okay?” He said and I nodded.

“I will. I promise. Do you have to go to school today? You could come to New Dawn with me?” I asked and looked at Chris with my eyes opened wide.

“I wish I could. But Ron is right; if I skip school I won’t graduate this year and that would really really suck.” Chris said and hugged me close.



We picked up my stuff and dragged ourselves downstairs. Ron and Rose were in the kitchen and when they saw us, Rose came to hug me.

“You’ll be fine Jason dear. You keep in touch, you here me?” She said and I nodded shakily, hugging her back. Tears burned in my eyes again and I tried to blink them away. I didn’t want to cry anymore.

Rose walked us out and I and Chris climbed on the backseat while Ron settled behind the wheel. I didn’t put on my seatbelt, instead gluing myself against Chris’ side and wrapping my hands around him. To my surprise, Ron didn’t comment, just pulled out of the driveway.

The drive went on in a heavy silence until we reached Chris’ school. When I saw the building, I buried my face against Chris’ stomach and clung onto his hoodie.

Chris hugged me back and buried his nose in my hair before mumbling. “I have to go. I’ll be late.”

I sniffled and Chris grabbed my arms, peeling me off of himself. “I love you. Charge that phone so I can call you, okay?” He said, his voice a bit shaky and his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“O-Okay.” I sniffled and Chris plastered a kiss on my lips. I melted into his hold and my limbs felt like cooked spaghetti. Before I realized, Chris had pulled away, opened the door and slipped out of the car. I flinched when the door banged shut and my eyes flooded.

“You’ll see him again, Jason.” Ron said from the driver’s seat and glanced over his shoulder before pulling off the curb.

Tears ran down my cheeks and I moved to press against the door, pulling my feet off the floor. Ron hummed in tune with the radio and I tried to rub my face dry with the gauzes covering my hands. I looked down at them and wondered how my hands would look under the grimy looking bandages. The fresh white bandages Ron had put on my hands hadn’t stayed white for long and looked raggedy again. I was glad to get rid of them.

The car stopped and I looked up. We were at the clinic. “Ready?” Ron asked and I nodded numbly. I kept my head down all the way inside and sat down to wait in the lobby when Ron attacked the paperwork.

It was a slow day and after only thirty minutes I found myself sitting on a paper sheet covered bed while a grey haired doctor sat on a rotating stool in front of me, revealing my hands from under the mangy bandaging.

“Do they still hurt?” The doctor asked and I shrugged my shoulder slightly, it was more of a twitch really.

“Well, looks good. They’ve healed up nicely. The stitches should come out easily enough.” The doctor continued and I looked away when he picked up a pair of tweezers.

When my hands were stitch free, the doctor disinfected them quickly before wrapping lighter bandages around them. “Now, these bandages are just a precaution, I want you to keep them off as much as possible to let the wounds breathe. They’re still a bit sore but should be fine in a week or so.” He said and I nodded stiffly.

I hopped off the bed as soon as the doctor moved away to give me room and shuffled towards the door. Ron thanked the doctor and pulled the door open for me before setting his hand on my shoulder. I suppressed a flinch and twisted away from his hand, putting some distance between us.

“Jason? Is everything alright?” Ron asked, not trying to touch me anymore and I just nodded again. “Are you sure? “ Another nod.

We got into the car and once back in traffic, Ron surprised me by asking. “Do you want some ice cream? We could make a pit stop on our way to New Dawn.” I turned to look at him and just stared for a moment before shaking my head. I didn’t want ice cream, I felt sick to my stomach already and I thought that if I’d eat something I’d just throw up.

I pressed my forehead against the cool side window and hugged myself feeling lonely.



We drove in through a pair of huge black iron gates and I felt my heart beat hard against my ribs. Behind the imitating gates opened a yard with smooth lawn with picnic tables and a basketball hoop attached to the wall in the corner. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt and stared at the light yellow building in font of me.

“R-Ron?” I asked in a barely audible voice and Ron glanced at me.

“Yes? You’ll be fine Jason. No need to look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” He said and I sagged my shoulders even more.

“What if I don’t want to stay here?” I asked carefully, afraid of his reaction and flinched when Ron turned to look at me.

“Jason, you know this is for the best. And it’s not like you are going to be here for the rest of your life, just until you get your life in order.”

“But..” I started but then just shut my mouth and hunched on my seat. There was no point arguing with Ron; it wasn’t his fault that I was in this situation and I didn’t want to make him angry. So I just gave up and pushed the door open. I snatched my stuff from the backseat before following Ron into the building, trying not to freak out.

The lobby was empty, the floor shiny and a few framed art pictures on the wall. Ron marched on and I followed him nervously, contemplating on turning on my heels and bolting. Before I could make my mind though, a man in casual jeans and a red tee came forward and shook hands with Ron.

“Ron, nice to see you again. How’s Rose?”

“Hey, John. Mom’s good, thanks.” Ron said with a smile and I studied the new man carefully, watching him with my head tilted down so I could peek from under my bangs.

“And you must be Jason, welcome.” The man turned to me and I twitched when he took a step forward and offered his hand to me. To my credit, I didn’t cringe even though I wanted to. I took his hand hesitantly and looked away.

Ron nudged me lightly and I remembered my manners. “Hi.” I mumbled and John let go of my hand.

“Alright, this way then, I’ll show you to your room.” He said and motioned us to follow. Ron sensed my hesitation and ushered me forward before following, cutting off the option of turning tail.

The hallways were empty but I could hear the bass of loud music thumping through the walls. We took the stairs to the second floor and walked along the shiny floored hallway until we reached a door with a plastic plaque with numbers 254 on it.

“This is you.” John smiled and pulled out a key to push the door open. He made room for me to step in first and I did so hesitantly, part of me waiting for the slamming door behind me. The room was bare but had all the necessities; a twin bed, a wardrobe with two doors, a desk with a chair in front of it and a notice board on the wall. I turned my head and saw an armchair in the corner by the window. Everything seemed so clinical and it gave me the shudders. There was none of the homeliness of Rose’s house.

“The bathroom is through here, you have your own toilet and shower. The kitchen is on the ground floor, we’ll go there in a bit.” John said and opened a door on the right from the front door. He pulled it open and I peeked in. It was pretty basic but I liked the idea of having my own bathroom.

“So, put your stuff down and I’ll give you the grand tour.” John continued and I obeyed reluctantly.

The next fifteen minutes or so we walked around the building as John showed me the facilities; the livingroom, laundry room, canteen, office and so on. There would be three meals per day available and a small shop to buy stuff from when the canteen was closed.

There were people coming and going out of the building, all greeting John with a smile and I tried to keep close to Ron, not meeting anyone’s eyes. I didn’t feel like I was eighteen and free to live my own life.

After the grand tour, John gave me my key, a folder with the house rules and instructions as well as a laundry card for using the laundry machines in the basement. Ron came back to my room with me and watched how went to sit on the bed, clutching my new key in hand.

“So, what do you think?” He asked and I bit my lip nervously. Ron came closer and sat next to me with a sigh. “I know this is all new and weird for you Jason but trust me, things will get better once you settle in.”

“I doubt it.” I mumbled and looked out of the window feeling down. Ron set his hand on my shoulder and squeezed slightly.

“You’ll be fine, Jason. You’ll see.” He said and glanced at his watch. “I have to get going. Take care and promise to keep in touch, alright Jason?”

I nodded numbly and stood up too when Ron got on his feet. The man pulled me into a hug and I closed my eyes, not minding at all. As crazy as it was, I was going to miss Ron too.

“Give us a call when you’ve all settled down, okay? Ron said and I nodded again.

“I’ll call.” I mumbled, shoving my hands deep in my pockets and Ron let go of me, smiling.

“Want to walk me to the car?” He asked and I shrugged my shoulders slightly, taking a step towards the door. I might as well, it wasn’t like I had anything else to do. We walked downstairs and I watched how Ron got into his car and drove out of the gates before turning to go back inside.

John was in his office when I walked by on my way back upstairs and got up from behind his desk when he saw me.

“Jason, would you come here for a moment?” He asked and I froze for a moment before turning towards the office, my shoulders tense. We sat down and John smiled.

“Don’t look so worried. I just wanted to talk to you about your studies. Ron gave me your study records and looks like you’ve been progressing nicely. Now, we have a teacher here at New Dawn called Mr. Davidson, he will create a schedule for you and tutor you from now on. You saw the classroom earlier, Mr. Davidson will be present Monday to Friday from eight am till three pm for lessons. Now, no one can force you to take lessons but basically we require our tenants to show effort to making progress in their lives. In your case it means working towards your high school diploma or finding a job.”

I nodded stiffly and kept my head down. So basically if I couldn’t keep up with my studies they would kick me out. So no pressure. No pressure at all.

I listened to John’s explanation for a moment longer until he asked. “So, any questions?”

I hesitated for a moment before looking up and biting my lower lip. “Um.. Can I go out if I want to?”

“You didn’t have a chance to read the rules yet did you?” John asked with a smile and I shook my head nervously. “It’s alright. We have a curfew of ten pm for new tenants. That’s for the first month, after that the curfew is at midnight. Within the curfew you can come and go as you wish and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that alcohol and drugs are not prohibited.”

I nodded and rubbed my hands against my jeans; they were a bit itchy again, probably due to the stitches being removed and I hoped the itching would stop soon, it was driving me crazy.

“Can I go out now? If.. If I want to?” I asked hesitantly and John smiled a little wider.

“You can. Just remember the curfew. I’ll give you tomorrow to settle in but on Tuesday morning I want you in the classroom at eight am.” He said and I nodded stiffly. I got on my feet and managed a small smile before leaving the office. I shuffled back upstairs and dug into my bag until I found the little box that contained the cell phone Cody had given me.

I pulled it out and turned it in my hands before fishing the charger out of the box along with the little booklet with instructions. I flipped it open and read through the first pages before plugging in the charger.

Once the phone was charging, I got up from the bed and started to unpack my bags slowly, my shoulders sagging. It didn’t take long to unpack and I returned to the bed, picking up the instruction booklet again.

I read through it briefly before turning on the phone. It beeped and I gnawed on my lower lip, concentrating on what I was doing. I didn’t want to break the phone just because I had no clue on what I was supposed to do.



I spent the next few hours in my room, waiting for the phone to charge and just shuffling around nervously. When the little phone finally beeped to signal it was fully charged, I pulled on a hoodie, the dark blue one that Ron had bought me when I had first moved in with them, grabbed the phone and my key before moving out.

I was half expecting someone to stop me, to run after me when I stepped through the gates of New Dawn and emerged on the busy street. I just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do before putting one foot in front of the other.




I spent the day walking around town, not really going anywhere. I didn’t have a place to go so that kind of explained that. When the sun was setting, I found myself walking down a familiar street, staring at the big building ahead. I stopped to stare at it from across the road, keeping my hands in my pockets for warmth. There was light in several windows and I felt a twinge of jealousy in my chest.

People lived their life like nothing had happened, no one probably even knew what had happened to me and dad, people didn’t care. I shifted my eyes lower and searched for the window of Troy’s room. I could see light seeping out through closed curtains and wondered what he was doing. Did he even remember me anymore?

Probably not.

Headlights of a car blinded me for a moment and I took a step backwards into the shadows. The car stopped in front of the building and a familiar figure stepped out. I took another step backwards, remembering Benton’s hostility towards me and sagged my shoulders.

Benton turned his head when he saw movement and for a moment stopped to stare at me. I froze and held my breath, not sure if he could see me in the dark and begged in my mind that he didn’t.

“Cabe?” Benton asked then and took a step forwards me. I jolted and bolted down the street.



I didn’t stop until I couldn’t run anymore and fished out my new phone to check what time it was. I was in some park and went to sit down on a near by bench to wait for Chris’ call. He still hadn’t called and it worried me. Had he forgotten about me already?

By the time the phone rang, I had built up my anxiety to a level where I was panicking. I jumped at the sharp sound and flipped the phone open quickly, pressing the green phone logo. “Y-Yeah?”

“Hey.” Chris said and a sense of relief flooded me.

“I miss you.” I sniffled, tears springing into my eyes now that panic deflated.

“I miss you too. How was your day?” Chris asked and I could imagine him at Rose’s, his belly full after eating something delicious Rose had cooked tonight and lounging on his bed upstairs. Chris had a cell phone even though he rarely used it. I had asked about it once and he just said it was something his mom had given him but that he never gave the number to anyone.

“It sucked. I.. I don’t like it there, Chris. I want to come home, I want to sleep with you.” I mumbled and wiped tears away, drying them up with the new lighter bandages covering my hands.

“I know, baby. I want you here with me too.” Chris sighed and I let my head drop until my chin pressed against my chest. “This room feels so empty without you. I’m not sure I can sleep without you in the bed with me.”

“At least you have a familiar bed.” I pouted, wiping at tears again and glanced around the dark park briefly. Chris sighed again and we fell into an easy silence for a moment.

“Wait a minute. You said you don’t like it there. Where the hell are you now then?!” Chris shouted suddenly, making me jump on my seat and I bit my lower lip nervously.

“At.. At the park.” I said hesitantly and winced when Chris started yelling again.

“At the park?! Jason, it’s dark outside! Are you crazy?!” I heard him jump onto his feet and felt my shoulders tense.

“I’m allowed. I a-asked.” I said in a feeble voice and Chris grumbled at me from the other end.

“I don’t care if you’re allowed! Your dad and Jonathan are still out there you jerk!” Chris screamed at me and cold fear ignited in the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t even thought about Jonathan and dad.

“I.. I’m s-sorry. Please, p-please don’t be angry?” I sniffled and Chris fell silent. There was a moment of silence and then Chris sighed.

“I’m not angry. I’m worried. Which park are you at?”

“Um.. The one close to dad’s? I don’t know the address.” I mumbled and sniffled again when Chris was quiet. I was expecting to him to blow up again but instead he sighed and said.

“Okay. Stay put, okay? I’m going to tell Ron to pick you up. I don’t think you should be running around town alone in the dark. I need to hang up, Jason. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I mumbled and the phone went dead. I clutched it tightly in my hand and looked around again. I honestly hadn’t considered the possibility of running into dad or Jonathan. Dad was supposed to be in Miami or somewhere and I had been sure that Jonathan had fled town too but now that I thought about it, Jonathan hadn’t left town before either so what made this time an objection?

The cold fear in my stomach spread higher and I hugged myself tightly when my shoulders started trembling. God, I was so stupid. The reason Jonathan had caught me last time was because I was an idiot enough to take off alone and now I had done the same mistake again.

Tears sprung into my eyes and I kept glancing around nervously. Were they here?

What if dad had been home and Benton had gone to tell him that he had seen me outside? No, Benton wouldn’t do that, would he? Sure the man hated me but.. But what? Benton had no interest in me, he had no reason not to rat me out but then again, he had no reason to do so either. I wasn’t even sure if dad and Benton knew each other.

My breathing hitched and I looked around feeling paranoia seep into my mind.

Twenty minutes later I heard footsteps drawing closer to my bench from my left and my heart jolted up into my throat. I jerked upwards and turned to stare in the direction of the noise. Someone was coming and I felt myself tense, ready to bolt if needed.

A figure emerged from the darkness and my I felt like my heart was going to beat its way through my chest.

“Jason?” A voice asked from the shadows and my body jerked in shock.