Pain and.. pain?

Hey everyone and thanks a lot for those who reviewed!
I'm still working on the ending of this story but I'm getting there, dont worry.
Nemo has been kicking up a storm in the back of mind recently so I've given the little wereleopard a little TLC this week. I'll be picking up that story soon so keep your eyes open if you're interested!

Thanks again for a ll who read and reviewed, hope you like it and please let me know what you think!




CHAPTER 46



I was sitting on the livingroom couch wearing my ducky PJs and an oversized hoodie with my head down and wished I could be upstairs and in bed.

“Jason?” Cody asked and I hugged myself tighter. Cody was here with two officers in uniforms to ask questions about Jonathan and dad. Diana was here too but she hadn’t said much; she hadn’t told them that they couldn’t interrogate me even though I had pleaded with her before the cops had shown up. Everyone had just told me that I needed to tell them everything but they didn’t know. They didn’t know how much it hurt when Jonathan was angry, when dad was angry. They wouldn’t be the ones to bear the punishment for talking to the police.

“Jason, don’t you want them caught? Jonathan hurt you again, don’t you want him behind bars?” Cody pressured me again and I stared at his shoes.

“I don’t know where he is.”

“Jonathan or your dad?”

“Neither.”

“What kind of car was Jonathan driving?” One of the uniforms asked and I sagged my shoulders. I wasn’t going to get away from the questions so I should probably start answering them. I fiddled with one of my bandages with my fingertips; the only part of my hands showing at the moment and took a deep breath.




After the uniforms left, Cody stayed and sat on the couch next to me. “Thank you, Jason.”

“Are they going to find them?” I asked quietly and felt shivers run down my spine.

“I can’t promise you anything Jason, you know that. But we’ll try our damn hardest. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” I mumbled and rubbed my bandaged hands together.

“No your not. And stop rubbing your hands!” Chris retorted from the door and walked to me. He perched himself on the armrest next to me and started fiddling with my hair. “You’re sweaty.” He noticed and dug his hand deeper into my hair. I sighed and glanced at Cody.

“Can I go now?”

Cody smiled and nodded. “Sure.”

I got up from the couch and Chris followed me out of the room.

“Um, Chris, could I have a word with you?” Cody said suddenly and we both froze before turning to look at him. I glanced at Chris and then back to Cody uncertainly.

“It’s ok, go take a shower.” Chris whispered to me and pecked my cheek before pushing me gently towards the door. I hesitated for a moment before letting go and leaving them alone. I didn’t like Cody talking to Chris, I had a bad feeling about it but I wasn’t about to draw attention back to myself. So instead I just made my way upstairs and grabbed a towel before heading for the bathroom. I made sure to lock the door before stripping.

When I got out of the shower and returned to our room, I found Chris lounging on the bed with a pillow propped behind his head. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“What.. um.. What did Cody want?” I asked hesitantly and turned away from Chris to get some clothes.

“Just to know what was going on between us, don’t worry.”

I humpfed and pulled out clean PJs and t-shirt before hiding behind the open wardrobe door to get dressed. I grabbed a pair of fluffy socks before padding across the room to Chris. I sat down to pull them on and got hugged from behind. “I missed you.” Chris mumbled into my shoulder and leaned into him.

“I missed you too. Can you sleep with me?” I asked quietly and turned to look at Chris. He was smirking at me and I jabbed him in the side with my finger. “You know what I mean!”

“I know I know. I’ll sleep with you.” Chris said and rubbed at his ribs. “Do you always have to poke me? It hurts.”

I rolled my eyes at him and turned to crawl on the bed. I settled next to the wall and wrapped my arm around Chris when he lay down next to me. I buried my nose in Chris’ hair and closed my eyes feeling tired. It felt nice to have Chris close to me, I never wanted to let go of him again.



A few days later I was getting anxious. My birthday was in a little over a week and there were still no plans when it came for me leaving Rose’s. The only thing certain was that after my birthday, I was out of the house. Rose had told me that she would like to keep me here if she could and I knew she meant it but I also knew that there was no way I would be able to stay; there were too many kids without a foster home for me to take one of the spots when I was of age.

I was sitting by the kitchen table, chopping onions for Rose who was making a casserole when the doorbell rang.

“I got it!” Ron hollered from the livingroom and I continued my butchering of the onions. I usually made an effort to keep the pieces small because Kristy wasn’t a fan of onions but today I just couldn’t care less. I looked up when someone walked into the kitchen and felt a weight settle on my chest when I saw Diana. There was only one reason for her to be here; to tell me where I was going to end up after I turned eighteen.

“Hello, Jason, how are you doing?” She asked while sitting across the table from me, setting my file on the worn surface.

“Fine.” I muttered and stabbed at a half a onion still waiting to be chopped. Diana smiled and crossed her hands across my file.

“I have news for you.” She said and I looked up.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ve spoken to a few people and found a place for you starting next week after you turn eighteen. Now, this is not for good, just until we can arrange something more permanent for you and you get your life on track.” Diana smiled and I clutched the handle of the knife tightly.

“O-Okay.”

“It’s sort of a half way house for teenagers, to help kids with troubled backgrounds settle into normal life. It’s called New Dawn and its right here in town. They offer tutoring so you would be able to keep up with your studies and graduate high school.” Diana explained excitingly and I felt the flicker of hope that had ignited when she had announced that she had news died away. So that was her answer to the problem; just shove me around in the system.

“No.” I mumbled and cut a big chunk out of the onion half.

“Jason, dear. You know you can’t stay here, as much as Rose would like to keep you, she can’t. There are dozens of kids needing a foster home and you’ve come a long way during your time here but I still don’t think you are ready to live on your own. New Dawn is a safe place with older kids and I’m sure you would like it there. And like I said, this would be only temporary; just until you graduate and find a direction for your life.”

I clutched the knife with white knuckles and repeated through my teeth. “No.”

“Jason.” Diana sighed and I snapped my head up to look at her.

“No! You can’t force me to go there! When I’m eighteen I can do what I want and I don’t want to go to some stupid half way house!” I yelled and Diana stared at me, shocked. She had never seen me have an outburst like that before. Rose wiped her hands on the kitchen towel before laying her hand on my shoulder. She didn’t say anything; she didn’t have to. I knew I had to calm down so I took a deep breath and continued my chore of chopping.

“Jason, please at least consider New Dawn. It would be so good for you, trust me.” Diana pleaded and I huffed in annoyance. Right.

“I’m not going and you can’t make me.” I grumbled and Diana sighed.

“What are you going to do then, Jason? Do you have a place to stay at? You’re not in school and you don’t have a job so how are you going to rent an apartment? Where are you going to live?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.” I mumbled, a ball of anxious fear settling in my stomach. Diana was right, I had nothing. No place to go, no money, no.. nothing. How was I supposed to live after I had to leave Rose’s? I felt tears burn in my eyes and savored the feeling of Rose’s hand on my shoulder.

Diana watched me for a while before nodding. “Alright, I’ll let you think about it for now. I’ve arranged an appointment with Dr. Melwin for you for tomorrow at twelve o’clock. Now that you are a bit better I think it’s important to continue with the sessions. Rose, I’ll come by again another day to talk about Ryan’s case, alright?” She said and Rose nodded behind my shoulder.

Diana left and I loosened my hold on the knife with a sigh. My shoulders sagged and I rubbed at my face tiredly. My eyes were burning with tears and I wanted to think that it was because of the onions.

“Are you alright dear?” Rose asked gently and I nodded.

“Yeah.” I looked up at her and bit my lower lip to prevent it from trembling. “I don’t want to go there, Rose. I don’t want to go to some institution. I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“No one is saying you have, dear. Diana is just trying to help you. And as far as I know New Dawn is not an institution, Jason. It’s a half way house. You’d have your own room there, three meals a day and you’d be able to finish school. Not so much different from living here really.” Rose said and sat down on the chair next to me.

“I could leave when I want? I could come and go as I want?” I asked, looking at her square in the eye and Rose’s smile came more sympathetic.

“Well, they have their own set of rules which you would have to live by; a curfew for instance. But it’s not different from living with us, Jason. You have a curfew here too and rules to follow.” She said and I sniffled slightly.

“But I like it here. And I’m not eighteen yet. I just.. I always thought that once I was eighteen I’d be free. That I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping people happy and.. I don’t know. I’m sorry Rose.” I mumbled with a sniffle and Rose smiled gently.

“For what dear? For butchering the poor onions?” She asked and I looked down at the chopping board with a sheepish grin.

“Y-Yeah, s-sorry.”

Rose got on her feet and brushed my hair with her fingers as she did. “You’ll be alright Jason. And know that no matter what, no matter where you live, you can always come to me for help, alright? Just because you won’t be living here anymore doesn’t mean that you can’t come to visit. At least I hope so.” She smiled and pressed a kissed on the top of my head. I dropped the knife and wrapped my arms around her waist in a hug. I was really going to miss her.

I let go after a while and tried to wipe my eyes discreetly. Having onion acid all over my hands didn’t make my eyes feel any better and a tried blinking to help the burning. Tears ran down my cheeks and I sniffled.

“Onions.” I tried grinning and glanced at Rose. She just smiled and turned back to her cooking. I did my best to fix the mess of all different shape and size onion pieces I had created while trying to keep my cheeks dry by wiping my face continuously with the sleeves of my hoodie.

“Thank you for your help, dear. Why don’t you take it easy until dinner and please remind Christopher it’s his turn to set the table.” Rose said while adding the onions on her pan and I nodded. I considered offering to set the table but the tears burning in my eyes and the fact that Rose more than likely wouldn’t let me made me keep my mouth firmly shut.

I shuffled upstairs and found Chris throwing a ball in the air while lying on his back on the bed. “Hey, what’s up?” He asked and I sighed heavily.

“Diana came by.” I mumbled and crawled on the bed, over him to sit by the wall. Chris oofed when I put pressure on his tummy and missed the ball he had thrown in the air. The ball landed on his face and Chris brought his hand to rub his abused nose while I tried not to laugh.

“Oww. Why do you always have to target my head?” He grumbled and I snickered at him.

“What? I didn’t do anything. It was you who threw the ball, it’s not my fault you didn’t catch it in time.” I said innocently and Chris glared at me. I snickered some more and Chris lifted an eyebrow before rolling on his side and attacking me.

I squealed as his hands attacked my sides, tickling me viciously and tried to push him away with tears leaking from my eyes. “Chris! Chris, stop! Stop! P-Please! P-Please s-stop!” I begged hysterically and finally Chris stopped, letting his weight drop on me. We were both panting heavily and I hugged him close in hopes of that it would prevent him from tickling me again.

After we caught our breath, Chris mumbled into my shoulder. “You know, if Ron would walk in right now, he’d go ballistic.” I blushed and tried to chuckle. He was right and if Ron would find us like this he was bound to want to have another sex talk with me and that was a big no no for me. So…

“Rose asked me to remind you that it’s your turn to set the table.” I said and Chris groaned, burying his face deeper into my neck.

“I HATE setting the table.” He whined and I fiddled with his loose t-shirt.

“Why? It’s not that bad. It only takes a few minutes anyway.”

“A few minutes that I could spend with you.” Chris pouted but climbed off of me. He stretched his back and rolled his head from side to side once before getting on his feet and leaving the room. I smiled and watched him go. As soon as he had disappeared to the hallway, the smile died on my lips and I looked down on my bandaged hands. The bandages smelled like onions now and I wrinkled my nose a bit. Rose hadn’t wanted me to cut the onions for her in the first place but I had insisted and now I had smelly hands.

I got off the bed and went to get my diary. I hadn’t written in it since coming home from the hospital. I had tried to but the words didn’t come. Every time I tried to write about what had happened and how I felt, my throat tightened and my eyes burned with tears but I couldn’t stop myself from taking out the small black book every now and then and just stare at the white pages with a pen dangling from my fingertips.

That was just what I was doing when Chris waddled back into the room. I was sitting on his bed with my knees drawn up to my chest and the diary propped open against my legs. I glanced at him and closed the diary.

“I’ll go if you’re writing. Dinner’s ready soon anyway.” Chris said and I shook my head with a small smile.

“Don’t. Do.. Hmm, do you know if Rose has any bandages? I chopped onions and now they smell like onions.” I said and Chris made a face.

“Eww, onion hands. Come on, let’s ask Ron. He has a first aid kit in the office I think.” He said and waited for me to get up from the bed. We went downstairs and into the office where Ron was sitting behind his lap top scratching his head and looking distressed.

“Hey boys, something wrong?” He asked when he saw us in the doorway and I shuffled on my feet. I still wasn’t very comfortable asking for things.

“No, we’re good. Except that Jason’s bandages need changing, they smell like onions.” Chris said and Ron nodded with a smile.

“I thought I heard you pleading mom to let her help you. Come on then, sit down.” Ron said and got on his feet. I sat down on the chair in front of his desk and fiddled with the raggedy looking bandages covering my hands. They weren’t really white anymore and looked a bit nasty.

I looked up when Ron leaned on the table in front of me and saw him holding two rolls of clean bandages. “It’s a good thing I always have these here, just in case. You never know with kids you know. Let’s see then.” He said and set the rolls on the table while taking my hand in his.

I watched intently how he carefully unwrapped the bandage from my left hand and grimaced at the sight of my torn up skin and the stitches holding it together. Truth to be told, it look a hell of a lot better than it had been but still, the sight of the stitches wasn’t very nice. Chris was standing behind me and hugged my head from behind when he saw my hand. This was the first time he had seen the actual damage on them since I hadn’t had the bandages off much.

After I had new bandages around my hands, I thanked Ron and we moved to the livingroom. I sat down on the big armchair and instead of going to the couch where there was plenty of room Chris decided to squeeze into the same chair with me. With a lot of wiggling and a few elbows to the ribs we managed to find a comfortable position where I was partly on top of him. I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder.

“Diana wants me to go to a half way house called New Dawn.” I mumbled and Chris tilted his head to look at me.

“What?” I could feel him tense next to me. “When?”

“After my birthday. When.. When I have to leave here. She said I’m not ready to live on my own.” I sighed and stared at the floor.

Chris was quiet for a while before saying. “Maybe it won’t be that bad. Kelly went there and I heard it was ok.”

I frowned and craned my neck to look at Chris. “Who’s Kelly? Did she live here?”

“HE lived here. He turned eighteen a few months before you turned up. Ron said he liked it there. He’s not there anymore though I think.” Chris said and I giggled.

“A boy named Kelly?”

Chris looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, a boy named Kelly. Don’t let him see you giggling at his name though; he has beaten people up for less.” He said and I stopped smiling. This Kelly didn’t sound like a very nice person.

“Well, I don’t care if he liked it there, I’m not going.” I pouted and leaned against Chris.

I wasn’t. I wasn’t going. No way in hell was I going to New Dawn.