Candy: Book 5 of the Lord Emperor Vampire Saga

Greetings! I had asked the Loyal on my mailing list if there was anyone with a lyric/poetic bent to carry out Pack Von D's first single. I got some interest but no takers so I have attempted writing some lyrics. As I mentioned to the Loyal before, it turned out to be music to slit your wrists by. 2008 just seems to be all angsty for me this year. So here is the next installment of the epilogue.

As always, READ, REVIEW (I really mean it, review!!!) and ENJOY!!

*candy wreaths and caramel kisses* for this festive season.

Mauh!!

Kiix


Chapter 229: Voices Carry: Part Two

If they hated me there were better ways to tell me so. Getting forced back into the real world while parading around in barely covered assets in the middle of a dance floor was not one of the better ways – it also wasn’t the worst depending on your point of view.

/We don’t hate you X. We hate the pompous ass you are becoming./ Skell’s voice ran loud and clear in my head even the music was loud enough to make my rib cage ache.

I got jostled from behind and stagger stepped forward into the Fey. Oh good lord. I guess the brotherhood does love me, I could have been dressed in that frothy confection. Ripley turned around and my face must have been unguarded because he stopped his hip swivelling dance and raked his eye up over my....what the hell am I wearing?

/You need to get your head out of your ass and start living. You’re not alone out there./

Azrael’s friendly words of advice were ignored because I could see some of white curlies of the pubic variety slipping up over the low waistband of these leather monstrosities. And...what the hell was on my wrists?

Ripley shouted over the music to me. “I’d have you know that your look is something I just couldn’t pull off.”

Just one quick glance down at the hipsters and the pre-requisite bared mid drift...hell the whole drift was exposed told me this was Armor’s fuckmenowslutboy clothes. This look was meant to be pulled off. I rolled my eyes at Ripley and pulled on a bracelet. It caught around the meat of my palm just under my thumb. I pushed at it but just succeeded in scraping my skin. It wasn’t going anywhere.

“Did Sex tell you what those did?”

“What?” I leaned forward to hear him.

Ripley reached for my wrist and began to pull me off the dance floor behind him. As soon as his flesh touched the metal, my arms went icy cool and tingling numb. Sonofabitch! He basically had a set of magical handcuffs on me. I wrenched my arm away and the sensation faded but it didn’t go away. The tips of my fingers were a little numb-- like novocaine.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ripley moved to grab my shoulder and I slapped his hand away with my forearm. I backed it up to get out of his sphere of influence and ended up knocking two dancing kids into each other.

“Yo…Dude.”

I turned to offer a slight apology but I saw both of their eyes on my almost exposed backside. I did not pick out these clothes. I didn’t wriggle my way into them. What the hell did Sex…no, it was Skell. What the hell was Skell trying to prove?

“Man, just say no to crack.” They both started cackling.

Hurt ripped through me. In an instant I was thirteen again, half blind, scared of going into total darkness and more than twenty-five pounds over everyone else’s weight. That kind of pain just doesn’t go away. It comes back and rips a scab wide that you had thought was an old shiny scar. The moment stung tears in my eyes then white hot rage ripped through me. We were at the Golden Phoenix on the all ages dance floor but I didn’t care that these two were teeny boppers, that they were younger than my triplets, I just saw them as everyone who had mocked me. Who tormented me to anguished tears or beat the crap out of me. Of who rejected me.

If my punch had connected I might have killed one of them. As it was, Ripley jumped forward but he didn’t need to have bothered. I got wrenched around by a fist in my hair and jerked backwards and twisted around to face a very pissed off Father. I noticed how hard and expressionless his face was and I might have mistaken him for Carnage but his eyes were furious. I got dragged off the dance floor by my hair. If I didn’t move with Claudius, I was going to be missing hanks of my scalp. I ended up getting tossed in a darker corner along the bar trapped between the wall and the black counter. I couldn’t go anywhere if I wanted to because Father still didn’t let go of me.

“Get off me!”

I didn’t even have a chance to yelp as his other hand came up and closed around my throat. He shoved me backwards. My head rattled against the brick of the wall. “Shall we try another lesson in manners, Xavier?”

“Get the fu…” I got a knee in the stomach. I dropped like a white rock down a dark well. Claudius let me go and I ended up crumpled on the floor. For once when I wanted to hide in my hair the damned elastic held.

“Are you done with this attitude of yours?” Claudius reached down and cupped my chin. He pulled my face up and stared at me until I started to cry. Oh how apropos, crying at the discothèque. “While I hate to see tears on you, my boy, it is worse to see nothing. Do you remember the promise I made to you the day of your first assignment?” He paused for a moment but when it was clear that I wasn’t going to be jumping in on the conversation he squatted down in front of me.

“I promised that I would kill you if you could not feel any longer.” His thumbs trailed over my cheeks and brushed the tears away. “I know you are hurting, Xavier. We all know that you are in pain. If you are doing nothing, it is frightening. You have never been a creature of stillness and calm. If you are raging, you are lashing out at the wrong people. When you are lost…my dear son, drinking has never solved any problems. We both should understand that.”

My stomach was killing me. When Father had to pull out the smack down, he didn’t hold back. If I had eaten something recently, I would be hurling it all over the floor. “Why are these things on me?”

“Ripley has bound the power of the blue line. It will keep you in check until you are right in the heart again.”

“You’re leaving me defenceless?”

I winced as he yanked on my hair again. “Even with your powers bound, you still have the strength and abilities of an adult Red the equivalent of your Loyal which is still far more than a mere fledgling of twenty-five years should have.”

“What’s with the hair?”

“Apparently just speaking at you is not working. You are talking to me right now. You are engaged. We are communicating.”

What they hell? Since when did Claudius become the Dr. Phil of Tufflove-ville. My scalp was pulsing agony in time with my heartbeat. My face burned and my stomach had stopped trying to flip flop out of my gut but...damn. I really didn’t want to be communicating with Father if this was his extreme.

“Okay…what’s really up with the jewellery?” My voice was strained and teary.

“Hair of the dog that bit you.”

Huh? I winced has his hand tightened on my tresses but stayed still. He didn’t mean what I thought he did. Did he? “Marcus is coming to see you tonight.”

The sheer amount of joyous anticipation floored me when I thought that Armor was coming back. Traitorous heart. The news that Marcus was coming left me twisting by the hair. It didn’t matter now much I told myself I was better off without that big stupid fuck, I still wanted to see him. I’ve spent the last three months trying to come to terms with his leaving me without even a backwards glance. Hell, Sex got a fucking note. I got nothing.

Slap.

Sonofa...

Slap.

“Enough!” Father rang my chimes once with a forehand worthy of Nasty Nastasti and a backhand worthy of Martina. “What the hell was that for?”

“Moping.” It was bad enough I was getting looks for hanging out of my clothes but Father giving me little love taps wasn’t helping. Ripley hovering around in his salute to the may queen garb didn’t help much either.

“Is that really necessary, Cutie?” Ripley squawked as he ended up plastered face first on the bar beside me. That worked well for me, Claudius had his hand off the head now.

“My level of indulgence is at an all time low, Dark Fey. I thought you would have recognized that fact as I pummelled my son to the floor.”

“Claudius...” Ripley ‘s cheeky tone of voice didn’t change even though his face was mashed down onto the bar top.

Father’s arctic blues looked over at me, his gaze lingering on the red splats on my cheeks. “I give you over to Ripley’s care. While I am loath to admit it, I am part of the problem and while I do not agree with Armor’s demands. Marcus is right, I will have to leave. The Loyal are here. The Imperials are ranging through the crowd in stealth mode. Xavier, give me your hand.”

I stared at him as if he was kidding. Didn’t he just kick my ass? He released Ripley and pulled the smaller Fey up and backwards in one motion clearing a path between himself and me. I tried not to but I flinched as he reached out to me. He stilled. The ice in his eyes melted and the hand that did touch me was gentle. He drew me into his body and pressed my head against his shoulder. “I have known betrayal in my life, Xavier. I had been the source of betrayal in my humanness. Do not let it consume you. Pain lets you know that you are alive. It is a warning. It is not a blanket to wrap around yourself. Pain is not a gift to give unto others. While this is cliché, it is always darkest before the dawn, my little fledgling emperor. If you cannot light your own candle, look to your family. Let our candles guide you.”

I just started bawling. I was so fucking emotional. I couldn’t find any stable ground to stand on. I don’t remember ever being this out of touch. I had stood on Armor’s shoulders for so long...I used him up. Father took my hand and lifted it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to my knuckles. “You are not alone in this Xavier. You cannot drive your brothers from you. You cannot drive your wives nor your children...and you know that I can kick your ass if you try to force me away again.”

“Father...it just...hurts so much.”

“That is why it is called heart ache..” I felt Father pull my hand down to the counter and then there was a wet pressure. I jerked my head up and looked at one of the bartenders has he stamped my hand with a glo-in-the-dark circle with a diagonal line through it. “..and alcohol might deaden the pain, it does not make it go away. This is Hades contribution to this little moment of intervention. You will not be served on any of the floors.”

What? Since these magical thingabobs were on my wrists, alcohol was next thing on my agenda to get. The only way to face the hair of the dog was to get rip snorting obnoxiously drunk.

Father wiped my tears away again and then set me back on my own two feet. “We do this because we love you, Xavier. We just cannot stand by and watch you crumble. You are made of sterner stuff.”

“So you’re just here to catch my fall.”

“If after all the talking is done with Marcus tonight and there is no sign of compromise, I will be there to catch your fall. I need to go. Marcus’ range has increased dramatically. I cannot remain in the building.” Claudius turned around and looked at the frothy Fey. “I leave one of our most precious treasures in your hands, Ripley. He is at his least charming right now. You have not seen him in the best light.”

Ripley looked past Claudius to me as I leaned against the side of the bar. Even in this light those grey eyes were rather spectacular. I guess that’s why fairies were always described as so ethereal and otherworldly. No human could even dare to match the physical beautiful of the Blood called Fey. “My mother said, show me a man’s friends and I will show you that man’s character. I know that the Xavier we have been living with these past few months is not the one who drew all these Bloods to him. I am truly looking forward to meeting him.”

Claudius reached out and drew Ripley close. He leaned over and whispered something in the Fey’s ear then turned and faded into the dancing throng like a ghost or a master assassin. Ripley stepped up to the bar and waved at the bartender.

“Scotch. Make it a double.” He leaned both elbows on the top and then dropped his forehead into his hands.

“Why the hell do you get to drink?”

“I’ve graduated up the threat level. I’ve gone from broke fingers to having them cut off.”

The bartender came and set Ripley’s glass in front of him. “Anything for you?”

I waved my little stamped hand in his direction. “Swampwater.” He nodded and trotted off.

“Swampwater? What the blazes is that?”

“A little bit of everything.” I turned and let my eyes scan the room. Sure enough there were Loyal plastered everywhere looking like they were holding up the walls. I spied Manu and Pyotr doing a little jive boogie out in the crowd but their eyes were sharp and alert. “I make a break for it; I wouldn’t get far would I?”

“You have any idea how difficult it was to track Marcus down. Damn that boy can move. You wouldn’t think so...”

I knew just how fast Marcus could move. He fucking stalked me for six months. When he was in vanish mode, he was like trying to capture lightening in a flux capacitator. I knew what he was doing. I got reports across our desk at Shadoe Inc weekly. It wasn’t from the big guy himself, but the cleaning crew who would be dispatched to the latest scene of mayhem. Twelve weeks. Twelve cleanings. Twelve Orel Wessel cells that we don’t have to worry about any more. Marcus took off on his own and was basically culling Orel Wessel from North America. He hopscotched across the continent. East Coast, two kill sites. West Coast, one. North, seven. Back to the West. It was pure chaos in its execution. The cells never knew who was targeted next. There was no pattern. There was no rhyme nor reason. That was all part of Marcus scariness. It’s what made him a damned good first. You would think he would zig or zag but he would come up with a third alternative and mindfuck you to death. All part of his charm.

I felt that constant pain in my chest. It stabbed with steady regularity. You would think I would get used to it. 92 days of agony. You think I would have adjusted to it by now.

The bartender slipped a tall plastic cup filled with ice and a shot of every kind of soda from the dispenser. I might has well be sucking on a pixie stick. My eyes flared and I turned toward Ripley. “What the hell was that? I give you to Ripley.”

The Fey had the decency to flush pink as his fingers fumbled with the tumbler of scotch. “Huh...I’ve been nominated to...well....It wasn’t my idea....”

You are so fucking kidding me. I glared at Ripley then stared past him. So they, my friends and husbands and wives thought this was because I wasn’t getting fucked. Well isn’t that just lovely. Shows just how I really am perceived out in the big wide world.

“If you had an inkling of actually wanting me, I would be all over you like crabgrass, X. Yes, you’ve been less than welcoming but I can see what you are in serious pain.”

“So what? You want to be my little touch of painkiller in the night? Don’t you have any pride?”

“Xavier...”

“I’m getting tired of being looked at and judged my worth by the fact that my face is so fucking young looking and pretty. I look like a reject from a porno dressed like this. The pole dancers upstairs have more clothes on that this. I’m not a fuck toy, Ripley. Don’t treat me like one.”

“Naw, I don’t need to treat you like one, you’re acting like that all on your own.”

“Fuck you.”

“That sort of language doesn’t become you, My Lord.”

“Fuck you to hell and back, fairy.” I snarled. I took a swig of my soda and almost spat it out. I wanted to...no, I needed to get drunk. I rubbed at the stamp. It was indelible. Fine. There were other ways of getting what I wanted.

“Xavier!”

I picked one of my many admirers. He was tall. So much taller than me. Just the type that wanted to fuck this body into the mattress. That wasn’t the factor of my choice. He had a tall glass in his hand. It was time to turn my curse into my weapon. Ripley grabbed at my shoulder but I shook him off. I swivelled my hips up to Taller and began dancing with him, moving closer and closer until he took the hint and stepped in so we were almost rubbing against each other. I swayed and tried to send out sexy vibes to him. I didn’t find him attractive. I didn’t want him. I was using him...just like I did Armor. I had to blink. When was this stabbing agony going to end?

I plunked the class from his hand and ran the condensed side of it along my cheek and down my throat. I tilted it up and drained it. A hand caught my wrist and jerked the glass from my hand. Ripley’s silvery gray eyes were bright with emotion. I swallowed the drink and made a show of running my tongue around my lips to catch all the flavour. It was a ghastly concoction, but I wasn’t here for the dancing, or the taste. I didn’t want to be here at all.

“Xavier.” Ripley grabbed my wrist as if he was going to pull me off the dance floor behind him. I wrenched myself free. I might be blue line limited but I wasn’t going to be jerked around if I didn’t have to be. Meaning, if Ripley couldn’t physical restrain me, I wasn’t helping him.

“Didn’t I tell you fuck off?”

“Your boyfriend?” Taller asked in deep tone of voice near my ear.

“Not a friend at all.”

“X!”

“You heard the man, piss off.” His arm came up and over my shoulder, his finger tips brushing against my bared stomach and something hard was coasting up and along my almost exposed crevasse. Something, yeah, right.. Taller had a hard on.

“Xavier...I’m responsible for you.”

“Last time I looked, I had a mother.”

“Marcus will be coming soon.”

“Marcus has got nothing to do with me.”

“X! Stop being an ass.”

“You’re not my mother. You’re not my keeper. You might have been designated as my pinch fucker but that doesn’t mean I have bend over and take it.”
“You don’t have to do this.”

I carefully let my eyes flare for a moment before I banked my anger. Either I’m crying or else I’m angry at the world. I was getting tired. How can you hurt so much, and feel so much and still breathe? I pressed back agasint the cock drilling into my back. “I’m thirsty.”

“Well X, what would you like?” I lifted my hand and showed him my mark.

“Anything that this bars me from.”

“That I can do.” I willingly moved back with him off the dance floor.

Maybe alcohol didn’t help in the long run, but right now I was latching onto everything just to survive...and I really wasn’t sure that it was going to be an option anymore. I was just fatigued with everything and everyone. I had learned to shield hard. I had my mirror disco ball up with the interlocked panels but this time, I also had it lined inwardly with lead to make sure than none of my hurt leaked out. The Lycan were too damned sensitive. The winglets were just as bad. Why couldn’t anybody get it in their head that I just wanted to lick my wounded heart in silence and alone. I didn’t want anyone else to see how stupid I had been. Armor had kidnapped me. He terrorized me. He raped me and here I am pining for him. How fucked up am I?

I watched from the railing surrounding the dance floor as Ripley made his way over to Manu and Pytor. I was glad that the music was so damned loud that I couldn’t hear them. Taller came back and handed me a margarita glass. Three pairs of eyes turned towards me with accusation and disappointment easily read even through the atmospheric smoke and strobe lights. I downed the whole thing in one gulp. It burned all the way to my empty stomach.

“Whoa you are a thirsty little thing.”

“More.” I handed the glass back.

“Let’s see how this one works first, shall we?” Taller set his arms on either side of the bar, trapping me. He leaned forward pressing his weight against my back and shoulders. He wasn’t tall enough. His chest wasn’t broad enough. The warmth was there but everything else was all wrong. I got a wicked head rush and I slumped a bit. Too strong on an empty stomach.

The music faded as the DJ’s voice cut into the vibe. “Okay, here is the latest from our own little indy label “Hellfire House” the word is that this is burning up the college charts in its first four weeks of release. Here is our own Pack Von D and their first single Armor my Heart.”

What? The boys cut a record? The steady beat of the drum started up. It was different from the dance stuff that had been just blaring especially when the guitars started in. They had improved so much since my birthday party...since..since...

Then Wolf’s voice started.

I never thought that I was a fool
Until you showed me how to bleed
I never thought I’d get confused
Till you came and took over me

You told me things I wanted to hear
You gave me rings; I held you so near
I gave you my heart; let you in my bed
I gave you my all and this is what you said

I’m gone

You didn’t say good-bye
You didn’t say farewell
I could have handled it if you said go to hell
What did I do to make you walk that day
I gave you my heart and you tossed it away
So, now that we are apart
I know what I got to do

Armor my heart.

What the fuck? My hands tightened on the metal railing and I think I crushed it. They were singing about me and Armor? My breathing changed and my throat tightened up as my nose began to run and those fucking tears started up again. Was nothing sacred? My own children were mocking me?


You dragged me to your world
You came and opened my eyes
Now I can’t go back, you fed me nothing but lies
Of all the things I gave away
I always thought you’d be here to stay

You told me things I wanted to hear
You gave me wings, you held me dear
I gave you my heart. You have me your ring
I guess that’s why this rejection stings

I’m gone

My head began to swim and my legs started to shake. Taller transferred his hold to catch me around the waist and his thigh slid forward spreading my legs but pinning me up against the railing. “Yo, little boy, you don’t look so good.”

You didn’t say good-bye
You didn’t say farewell
I could have handled it if you said go to hell
What did I do to make you walk that day
I gave you my heart and you tossed it away
So, now that we are apart
I know what I got to do

Armor my heart.

My flesh seemed to ramp up in temperature. I could feel the music swim over my skin. I shivered. My mouth dropped open and I began to pant. This is wrong. I couldn’t be drunk this quickly. My body felt so weak. I couldn’t stand on my own. I sucked in air as Taller stroked his thumb around the edge of my navel. His lips gently brushed against the curl of my ear. “See, I told you we wouldn’t need another drink. This one is working fine. You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you. Never had to opportunity to get you alone, always surround by so many men...but I got you now. We’re going to party now, my beautiful boy. My boys should have a room all cleared out and secured for us. Maybe after we’re all done and satisfied you’ll remember not to take candy from strangers next time.”


I couldn’t put you first
You said you understood
I made you stand in the shadows cause I thought you could
You had enough, I thought it was just another day
I thought you would wait but here we are now, this way
You gave me your heart and I tossed it away
So now that we’re apart
You should know, you’ve

Armored my heart.

* * *

Yes, this is turning into the never ending epilogue. Part three coming soon. :P