Moonlight Denial: Shades of Moonlight Book One

The bed sank as Nicoli sat down at Faith’s instruction. As she went to a trunk that was tucked away against the wall Nicoli took the chance to look around. Like all of the other rooms there was little to no decoration. A bed, nightstand, a couple of chairs was all that furnished the rather bare room, but it looked more lived in than Gavin’s room.

What caught his eye most were an array of dolls that were all arranged at the head of the bed. He scooted closer to get a better look at them. Even though they were plain ragdolls he could easily identify which doll was supposed to be who. After casting a glance in Faith’s direction to see if she was still preoccupied he picked up the doll that resembled Ethan.

He flopped it over a couple times, getting a feel of the weight. For a doll it was pretty hefty. He studied the teal buttons and the yellow yarn hair. None of the dolls were given mouths, but he could just imagine a smirk on its face. Yep, it looked like Ethan all right.

“You like it?” Faith asked as she unexpectedly plopped down on the bed beside Nicoli.

He jumped slightly, but covered it up by smiling as he examined the doll again.

“Yeah, it’s good. They’re all really good,” he said as he picked up Cora’s doll and held it beside Ethan’s. “You have a knack for this, Squirt.” He immediately winced and smiled apologetically at her. “Er, sorry. That slipped.”

Faith laughed as she set the miscellaneous fabrics she had down on the bed beside her.

“You don’t have to apologize for calling me squirt,” she said sweetly as she swung her legs back and forth. “In fact…I think I kind of like it.”

“Really?” he asked, not believing that for a second. If anything calling an over six hundred year old vampire “Squirt” should have been an insult. No matter how small and child-like they appeared. “How does that not bother you, like, at all?”

“My dear, dear Nicoli,” she said as she patted his knee. “There’s something you have to understand about me. I’m not bothered by the fact that I have, and forever shall, remain a child. I’ve learned to embrace this part of myself. Now, what really bothers me is when people try and be sensitive around me and treat my child body as if I am suffering from some sort of ‘condition.’”

“Uh, I wish I could pretend I knew what that meant,” Nicoli said. “Could you explain that a little?”

“Certainly. You see, while I don’t mind that I’m an eternal child, it irritates me to no end when people try to shy around that fact. It’s like when someone has some form of marring on their face, or some other noticeable flaw and they know it’s the first thing people notice and think about, but those people try so painfully not to mention anything that has to do with that flaw. Does that make it any easier?” she asked.

“Yeah, I get where you’re coming from,” he said with a nod. “It’s also like when, say you have a bad haircut or something and you know it looks horrible and you know other people think it looks horrible, but to your face they tell you it looks fine.” It was a really watered down, fairly dumb version of what Faith meant, but it was the easiest way for Nicoli to get himself to understand.

“Precisely,” she said. “So, keep that in mind. Don’t ever try and avoid the subject of me being a child if it comes up and you don’t have to apologize if you refer to me as “Squirt” even if it just “slips” out.”

“Okay, I’ll work on that,” Nicoli said. It was really something to think about, but he figured it wasn’t going to be that hard. Even though Faith basically was a child, when speaking to her Nicoli certainly didn’t get the sense of talking to a child, so it was easier to get lost in the illusion of speaking to an actual fully grown woman.

“So, this may be a bit personal, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Nicoli said. “But do you ever hate the fact that you’ll never grow up? ‘Cause I think I would if something like that happened to me.”

Faith didn’t answer right away. Instead a far off look came to her eyes as she stared at her swinging feet.

“I used to. I used to hate it so much, but that was when I was still a child in mind. Once I matured enough and really thought about my peculiar situation I realized there was no reason to be angry.”

“No reason? I could find a lot of reasons,” Nicoli rebuked.

“And I did to at first, but you have to look at it logically. For me, I never had a fully developed body. I didn’t know what it was like and never will. While I could find anger in that, I could never be fully angry because how can you miss something you never had?”

“…I guess that makes sense,” he said, but didn’t sound fully convinced. He figured it was because he wasn’t, and probably never would be, as mature as Faith.

“Trust me it does,” she told him with a smile. “Besides, there was another reason I could not be mad at my predicament. You see, if I had remained human I never would have reached adulthood anyway. So, either way, I would have remained a child. It all came up to the choice of living as a child for eternity or dying as a child. To anyone else I’m sure the decision would be obvious.”

“You were going to die as a kid? How come?” Nicoli asked. What had happened to Faith all those years ago? The “little girl” held so much mystery about her. Actually, Nicoli was finding that each of the vampires were mystifying in their own ways.

“Oh, there were several factors involved at the time. If I didn’t die from one reason another would have come along soon after, I’m sure,” she said evasively before picking up the fabrics and spreading them out on her lap. “Now, tell me what colors you’d like for your doll’s clothes.”

It was more than obvious Faith was changing the subject and Nicoli wanted to kick himself for his brashness. He had decided it was too soon to ask why Conrad had turned Faith at such a young age, but the next second he was asking why she had been dying. Yeah, he was a regular Einstein.

They spent the next few minutes picking out the colors that would soon become the Nicoli dolls clothes. Nicoli wasn’t quite sure what the heck he should pick out, dolls were not his forty. In the end he just chose a blue that most resembled jeans and an interesting looking gray fabric for his shirt. Once that was done he went back to studying the other dolls and it was then he noticed something was amiss.

“Hey, Faith, I see a doll of everyone but you. Where’s yours?” he asked as he began sifting through the dolls in case it was buried under the others. He stopped when Faith let out a giggle. “What?”

“Why would I have a doll of me? That would be absurd,” she told him. “The whole reason I make dolls of my family is so that I can have them with me at all times, even if it’s not really them. I’m with myself all the time so I don’t really need a doll of me.”

“Oh, yeah, I see your point,” Nicoli said, going a little red around the ears. “But that’s not why you’re making one of me, right? Since I’m not your family or anything.”

“No, yours is just going to be a plaything,” Faith said with a smirk.

“Oh, thanks a lot,” he huffed, but found that disconcerting. If his doll was nothing but a plaything to her, did that mean he was too?

“I’m only kidding,” Faith said with a pat to his knee before getting up and putting the extra fabric away in the trunk. “Who knows, we’ll be spending a lot of time together looking for these Hearts, so in time I may have your doll with me so I can always keep a part of you close to me too,” she said offhandedly as she riffled through her trunk.

Now Nicoli’s whole face flamed, but he smiled a little. A part of him really hoped that would be true some day. To take his mind off the sentimentality he began righting all of the dolls he had scattered around the bed. When he picked up Felix’s doll he stopped and stared at it for a moment before looking around curiously.

“What are you looking for?” Faith asked when she came back to the bed.

“Well, you guys said that Felix had two dolls. I don’t see the other one anywhere,” he said. He was very intrigued to see any kind of rendition of what Felix looked like when he was alive.

“Oh, well, I put that one away.”

“Put it away? Why?” Nicoli asked as he turned toward Faith and noticed a cloud of sadness had descended over her.

“Well, you see, when I make a doll and the person I made that doll of is no longer around I kind of “retire” it, so to speak. So they get tucked away as if they don’t exist, just like their counterpart. When Felix died he wasn’t really the same boy as he was when he was alive. That’s why I made the new one and put away the old one,” she explained as she rejoined him on the bed.

“Oh…” was all Nicoli could think to say. The term “put away” stuck very clear in his mind. He wondered how many other dolls Faith had “put away” other than Felix’s. A slow chill worked its way up his spine. Was there a doll of Dimitri? Had Faith ever been close to the mysterious brother that was now the enemy? Nicoli didn’t know when the split between the two clans happened so it was very possible. Faith could give a great deal of insight on Dimitri, but he was filled with doubt. He had already overstepped his boundary once in asking a personal question. The topic of Dimitri could be crossing yet another line and he didn’t want to get on Faith’s bad side. Instead he put the bubbling questions out of his mind and focused his attention back on the doll in his hands.

He studied the nearly pure white fabric and cloth the doll was made of. The pearly buttons that served as eyes stared back at him and, if Nicoli squinted his eyes just right, he could swear that the doll was giving him the famous Felix glare.

“What was Felix like when he was alive?” Nicoli asked softly, almost timidly. It was unclear to him whether that was a taboo question with Faith or not. “You said he wasn’t the same as he is now, so what was he like?”

“Ooooh that’s a good question,” Faith said, just as soft. She sighed lightly as she closed her eyes and tilted her head. “I suppose he wasn’t really all that different, but he was much softer than he is now.”

“Softer?”

“Yes, once you were able to get past his tough, prickly exterior. Felix was a scrappy boy when he first came into our lives. He said few words and when he did it was only to make some sort of scathing remark.”

“Yeah, not much different,” Nicoli said and chuckled.

“Very true,” she agreed with a laugh of her own. “He was very distrusting of everyone and everything that came into contact with him and it took him ages to even warm up to us. Oh, but when he did, he was the sweetest little thing ever. Hardly a minute went by when he wasn’t smiling or laughing about something. He was very loving and the very essence of warmth and kindness radiated from him.”

“Wow…you have to be talking about someone else,” Nicoli said, not being able to imagine Felix as a warm ball of fluff full of love.

“See, I told you there was some difference,” she said. “Oh, and he had such a thirst for learning of any kind. Whether it was from reading or writing, he loved it all. It soon got to the point that his book collection was almost larger than Father’s and that’s saying something. He was always hungry for knowledge.” An air of sadness wrapped about her and she turned her gaze to the floor. “I suppose that has been dampened as well. He still loves to do any sort of academic work, but not with as much enthusiasm as he used to have.”

“Is that right?” Nicoli muttered. He thought back to the day Ethan and Felix had been cooped up in his house all day. He remembered the joy Felix had when helping with his essay. During that time Felix was nearly pleasant to be around and was actually semi-nice. He had never seen someone show so much happiness in doing something as mundane as a school paper. He really didn’t know one lick about Felix when it came right down to it. As far as Nicoli was concerned he was just a sour spirit that was a pain in his side. He didn’t know Felix’s likes and dislikes or his dreams or ambitions…or what were his dreams and ambitions, to be more precise.

“Man, what the hell happened to him, Faith?” he asked. “How did he end up this way? It just all…seems so unfair.”

“Yes, it was very unfair,” she said with a grave nod. “But, I’m sorry, Nicoli. I wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing the circumstances of his demise with you unless I received permission from Felix to do so.”

“Er, yeah, I know. Sorry I asked,” he said sheepishly, again blurting out a question he had no right to ask. He knew how sensitive Felix was about his past and Nicoli would probably never know what happened to the ghost unless Felix himself told him, and that was less than likely to happen and he couldn’t expect anyone else to disclose that information to him.

“The air has become very depressing in here, wouldn’t you agree?” Faith abruptly asked, sitting up straight with one side of her lips upturned.

“Yeah, just a little,” Nicoli agreed with his own wry smile as he put the Felix doll back.

“Well, thank you for your help in picking out the material. I’ll get started on making the clothes later.” She slid off the bed and smoothed out her clothes when she stood. “But for now I’m going to go see what my Father is up to. He was supposed to be sleeping, but since he isn’t here it’s obvious he’s not.”

“What? Here? He was supposed to be sleeping here?” Nicoli asked, glancing back at the bed. His brain nearly had a spasm attack when he tried to picture Conrad sleeping amongst dolls.

“Yes, there are only so many rooms in this house and since Father was so adamant that he have a study he either had to sleep in this room with me, Ethan’s room, or Gavin’s room. Since Andre and Cora are already sharing a room downstairs it would be a little crowded if he roomed with them,” she explained.

“Huh, good point,” Nicoli said, still a little preoccupied with his current mental picture.

“The others should still be downstairs. You can go rejoin them if you wish.”

“Yeah, I’ll probably do that,” he said as he stood. He really didn’t think it wise to tail after Faith and go see Conrad of his own free will.

“Good because I have a thing about people being in my room when I’m not. So, after you,” she told him and gestured toward the door.

“Well fine, I know when I’m not wanted,” Nicoli said in mock hurt as he made his way to the door. A giggle sounded behind him when he opened it and he yelped as a strange force pushed against him and sent him right out the door.

***********************************************************************

Nicoli trailed down the stairs after seeing Faith off to Conrad’s study. He felt wrapped up in his own thoughts. So many questions swirled about him that he felt almost lost and heavily confused. He didn’t want Ethan to know he was having these thoughts, so he put his brief training to use and visualized the glass box around his mind. It was different doing it when he wasn’t meditating and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep it up for a long period of time, especially if his mind wandered. He would have to remember to ask Gavin how to keep the barrier up at all hours of the day when needed.

When he reached the first floor he made his way toward the living room. What he saw made him stop dead at the entryway and back up a step in order to partially hide behind the doorframe.

The only ones left in the room were Ethan and Felix. Andre must have become bored and wandered away somewhere. What the vampire and the ghost were doing was what made Nicoli halt his entry. At first glance anyone would think the two were simply talking, but the longer one observed the two it was made evident it was much more than that.

The two were sitting across from each other, Ethan on the couch and Felix on the coffee table, and they were ever so slightly leaning towards each other. They were speaking with hushed words, so Nicoli couldn’t hear what they were saying. It was the look on their faces, though, that caused Nicoli pause. Felix was smiling and even a hint of a scowl or angry wrinkle was smoothed away from his face, making him look sweet, almost angelic.

The look in Ethan’s eye was what really got Nicoli. Ethan’s gaze was so soft as he spoke to Felix and there was great affection held in those eyes. It was such a warm, intimate look that Nicoli had never seen Ethan have before.

He had never seen the two act so tender towards each other before. While he was around Felix was always bickering with him or Ethan and Ethan was always reprimanding Felix for it. Nicoli knew the two were friends, and that Felix was protective of Ethan, but he never imagined he could see such a moment between the two.

Nicoli’s gut dropped and he felt sick. He couldn’t fathom why, but as he watched the scene in front of him it got worse. A great tremble seeped into his bones when he watched Ethan run his fingers through Felix’s hair and the two leaned in closer until their foreheads touched.

Nicoli didn’t know what had come over him, but he couldn’t watch them anymore. If he did he was going to be painting the carpet a new shade of green. He turned to flee, to go to any part of the house but there. He would leave the house all together if it would make his stomach stop gnawing on itself.

He didn’t get far when he collided when he collided with another body. He grunted in surprise and looked up into a single golden eye.

“Heeey, Nickel, where are you running off to?” Andre asked. He had his usual smile in place and showered Nicoli with his boisterous mirth.

“Uh, nowhere, I was just, uh,” Nicoli muttered as his gaze flitted from place to place. He didn’t want to look Andre in the eye, but he was relieved that his twisting gut and shaking bones ebbed as he gave his attention to Andre.

“Sheesh, Gavin must have worked you over more than we thought. You’re speaking gibberish and you look as white as a ghost,” Andre said as he put his hand to Nicoli’s forehead. “You feel sick?”

The cold that came from Andre’s hand was soothing and helped him calm his frenzied thoughts.

“No, I don’t feel sick,” Nicoli told him, which was thankfully the truth.

“Hey, the heck is going on out there?” Ethan’s voiced asked from the other room. “I’m hearing something about someone being sick.”

“You keep your nose in your own business, Cousin,” Andre called back before addressing Nicoli again. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked, lowering his voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Really,” Nicoli assured him. There was a pause when neither said anything or moved, but Andre was the first to fix that problem. Nicoli’s eyes widened and he nearly squealed in surprise when Andre’s hand moved to the back of his head and pulled him in until lips pressed against his own. Temporary paralysis prevented him from moving, allowing Andre’s other arm to loop around his waist and pull him closer.

By the time Nicoli’s brain processed what was going on Andre’s thumb found a pressure point on his jaw. When pressed Nicoli’s mouth was forced open and he grunted when Andre’s tongue moved in and made itself at home. Before Nicoli could begin to squirm to try and get away the tongue began to move and all will and resistance left him.

With that skillful tongue playfully dancing in his mouth and fingers teasingly stroking a spot underneath his ear Nicoli melted against Andre and a hopeless, pleasure filled moan escaped him. It must have been louder than Nicoli initially thought – if he had thought at that point – because Ethan’s voice came again.

“Okay, what the hell was that?”

Nicoli and Andre were in the hallway, only a few feet away from the living room, but the wall prevented Ethan from seeing what his cousin was up to.

Andre ignored the question for a few moments and continued to ravish Nicoli’s mouth. Nicoli was shaking and his knees had become quivering jello. He had to hold onto Andre for dear life and was thankful for the arm around his waist.

When Andre finally pulled away Nicoli mewled at the loss, but was more than willing to let his head be gently laid on Andre’s strong chest by that ever present hand.

“Well, you must be out of it if you let me get away with that,” Andre whispered huskily in Nicoli’s ear, making him shiver. He gasped and his fingers tightened in Andre’s shirt when that tongue stroked the inside of his ear gently.

“Aaaaanddreee, what the hell are you dooooiiiing,” Ethan called in a sing-song voice, but it was tinged with irritation.

“Oh, nothing, Ethan Darling,” Andre replied after lifting his head away from Nicoli’s delectable ear. “I’m just taking advantage of your sweet little, tired human.”

“What!?” Ethan cried out and the sound of feet clattering against floor was heard, signaling Ethan had risen to his feet. “You better be joking.”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m not going to thoroughly corrupt him in the sweet throws of passion,” Andre told him then smirked down at a dazed Nicoli. “Though all things sultry and naughty knows I want to.”

“Right-never-in your…yeah,” Nicoli murmured, not able to string more than two words together to make a coherent comeback.

“That’s right, you tell me,” Andre said with a laugh. He then bent down again and pressed his mouth to Nicoli’s ear. “Don’t become so upset and run away from things you don’t fully understand. There’s a reason for everything.”

The lust warmth that had filled Nicoli’s body turned to ice and he looked up at Andre when he pulled away.

“W-What?” Nicoli asked and was further confused when Andre gave him a knowing smile.

Then, without warning, Andre spun Nicoli around and wrapped his arm around slim shoulders.

“Now come, come. Let’s hurry before Ethan blows a blood vessel,” Andre said as he led Nicoli back to the living room. When they entered Andre grinned at a less than happy looking Ethan, who had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot. Felix, on the other hand was still sitting on the coffee table and was leaning back on his hands.

“You know, I don’t see why you said Nicoli gave you such a hard time,” Andre said, as if oblivious to the heated glare. “One little kiss and he was putty in my hands.” He ran his fingers through Nicoli’s already mused hair and kissed his cheek.

Nicoli felt his face warm and wanted to pull away from Andre, but his knees were not cooperating again. He also couldn’t bring himself to meet Ethan or Felix’s gaze.

“See, this is why I keep saying we need to keep Andre on a leash,” Felix said. “Nicoli is alone for a second and Andre molests him.”

“I told you to keep your hands off my human,” Ethan said as he stepped forward to pull Nicoli out of Andre’s arms and into his own.

“Oh like he belongs to you,” Andre said, placing his hands on his hips. “I don’t see your name on him and you seemed just fine with our hug earlier.”

“That’s because I was involved,” Ethan said and his arms tightened around Nicoli. “It’s different if it’s just you.”

“How so?”

“You’ll sully him completely inside and out. He doesn’t need to be corrupted by such a devilish cad,” Ethan told him.

“You’re one to talk,” Nicoli and Felix said simultaneously then stared at each other peculiarly.

“Awwwe, look at that. They actually agree on something,” Andre said with a grin as the two glared at him. “How cute is that?”

“They do have their moments,” Ethan chimed in, forgoing all pretenses of being angry.

“Yeah, that’s great. Can you let go off me now?” Nicoli said, trying to pull away.

“Speaking of going I believe its time that Nicoli go home,” Andre said as he watched Ethan teasingly hold onto Nicoli as he tried to get away.

“Oh?” Ethan asked, as he moved a hand to prevent it getting bitten.

“Yes, I think the training really knocked him for a loop and it’s been a long day anyways. Resting at home should do him some good.”

“I like how you guys are talking about me like I’m not here,” Nicoli said as he was able to get away, but Ethan’s hand had a hold of the back of his shirt and no matter how hard he pulled it wouldn’t relent.

“They do that a lot. You get used to it,” Felix assured him nonchalantly.

“You could at least help me,” Nicoli growled as he dug his feet into the floor and used all of his body weight to pull, but to no avail.

“Already did that once today. I’m tapped out on my good deeds,” Felix said and shrugged.

“You suck,” Nicoli snapped.

“Oh, I wish I could say I had first hand knowledge of that,” Andre said with an overly dramatic sigh.

Nicoli noticed the way Felix’s cheeks turned a dark grey and he threw a dirty look at Andre.

“Okay, well, Andre’s probably right on the previous comment so lets get you home, Buddy,” Ethan said as he yanked Nicoli back to right him then let go of the shirt and patted his shoulder.

“I can walk home by myself. It’s no biggy,” Nicoli said as he straightened out his shirt. The odd look Ethan gave him didn’t escape him, but he ignored it. “I don’t want to bother you.”

“And let you travel the dangerous streets of Whixton alone? What kind of friends would do that?” Andre asked. “Ethan is more than happy to walk you home and protect you from the big, bad shadows.”

If Nicoli didn’t know any better he could have sworn that he wanted him and Ethan to have some alone time. Well, with the peculiar words Andre had whispered to him before that wasn’t far fetched, though Nicoli had no idea what he meant by it.

“Yeah, plus its no skin off my nose,” Ethan said. “Lets get a move on before it gets too dark.”

Nicoli wanted to argue, but he bit his tongue. He knew both men wouldn’t relent and it was easier just to give in and relent to his fate.

************************************************************************

After saying goodbye to the clan, and setting up another training date with Gavin, Nicoli and Ethan were on their way. It was mostly a silent trip, with a few exchanges of conversation here and there. That same confusing, swirling feeling was still hanging around Nicoli and he couldn’t seem to shake it. He wanted to give it time to evaporate so he told Ethan he didn’t want to go home quite yet. Instead the two made their way to Whixton Park to waste a few minutes.

“Are you okay, Nicoli?” Ethan finally asked as their feet smacked against the pave way cutting through the park. “Is something eating you? You seem lost in your own head.” Ethan playfully knocked on Nicoli’s skull with his knuckles to prove his point.

Nicoli managed a small smile and pushed the hand away.

“I guess you can say I am, but…I don’t know really how to say what’s bugging me,” he said.

“Just blurt it out. I’ll get the gist of it.”

Nicoli took a second to chew on his thoughts. He was still reeling from what he had felt at the house. He didn’t know what had brought the feeling on or why he would feel that way in the first place. Finally, after some careful thought, he narrowed it down to one cause.

“Don’t tell Felix this, ever, but…I feel so sorry for him,” he said. His eyebrows perked when Ethan tripped over his own feet then stared at him like he had gone insane.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that? Did you just say you felt sorry for Felix?”

Nicoli laughed and placed his closed umbrella across his shoulders.

“Yeah, I did. Like I said don’t tell him that.”

Nicoli blamed the sick, queasy feeling he had before on being sympathetic with Felix in that moment. It was obvious Felix and Ethan were closer than Nicoli could ever imagine, and there was no telling how far down those feelings stemmed, but now there was something keeping them apart forever. Death.

The impact of what that meant must have hit Nicoli harder than he ever thought it could. Felix was dead and in being so he was really not a part of the world anymore. He couldn’t really love someone like a living person and any hopes or aspirations he had were gone forever. It was all so very sad when Nicoli really thought about it.

“What brought that on?” Ethan asked, as he composed himself.

“Faith and I were kind of talking about him when I was in her room. About what he was like when he was alive,” Nicoli admitted, remembering the look of sadness on Faith’s face as she spoke. “It just got me thinking how much it must suck to be dead and have to be surrounded by living people. Talk about being an outsider.”

“That’s very insightful of you,” Ethan said.

They came to the playground equipment where Nicoli had first met Faith. He wandered over to the swing set and, after wiping off the excess water on one of the swings, took a seat.

“You and Felix are really close, aren’t you?” he asked once he made himself comfortable and used his foot to move himself back and forth.

“Yes…I suppose you can say that,” Ethan said slowly as he leaned back against one of the poles keeping the swing up.

“You don’t have to sound so suspicious, I’m just making a statement,” Nicoli said with a light smile. “I always thought you two were kind of friends and Felix was just really overprotective of you, but I realized today that you two must be really close.”

“What made you realize that?”

“Well, when I came down from Faith’s room I kinda saw you two in the living room,” Nicoli admitted sheepishly. “You guys seemed to be having a moment.”

“Why would you call it a moment?” Ethan asked with a light laugh and some tension visibly left his shoulders.

“I don’t know, you two just seemed to be so into each other as you talked. There was this certain look on his face and some bizarre expression I’ve never seen before on yours…it was intense. It just made me really sad for him. Maybe for both of you. It’s hard to explain.”

“You seem to be doing just fine,” Ethan encouraged him. “Why did it make you sad for us?”

“It’s just…whatever is between you guys, is in the past now, isn’t it? I can tell you guys care for each other, but he’s dead now. It must be so hard to see someone you care for as a ghost and even harder not to be able to really touch him anymore. And I figure it must be just as hard for him,” Nicoli said as he stared at his feet.

There was silence as Nicoli’s words hung in the air, only to be blown away by a bitter cold wind. He lifted his head when Ethan sighed and watched as he left the pole to go behind Nicoli’s seat.

“You must forgive me, Nicoli. You’re much more astute than I ever gave you credit for,” Ethan said as he stood behind Nicoli and placed his hands on the chains attached to the rubbery seat.

“Glad to know I can surprise you,” Nicoli said with a faint smile as he tilted his head back in order to see Ethan.

“Yes, but you’re right. I care deeply for Felix. More so than I’ve admitted in a long time and it hurts to see him this way. What makes it worse is that he is here and I can touch him and hold him, but it’s not really him. What I hold is nothing but a memory of the boy that I knew. Sometimes that alone is more painful than if he had died and was simply gone forever.”

Nicoli didn’t know what to say, what to feel. He didn’t know that Ethan was in so much pain about the state Felix was in and it caused all of those questions to come back along with new ones. What had happened to Felix? What were Ethan and Felix to each other really? How had Felix entered the clan’s lives in the first place? How long was Felix with them before he died? It was all just so consuming and all Nicoli could think about was the pain he could hear lacing each of Ethan’s words as he spoke of Felix so fondly.

Finally, not being able to take just sitting there in numbing silence, Nicoli stood and turned to Ethan. He slipped his arms around Ethan’s neck and hugged him tightly, trying to say everything he wanted to say in that one action.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were hurting like this. Either of you,” he murmured into Ethan’s neck. He felt Ethan’s arms wrap around his waist and the hug was returned, and both ignored the swing seat between them.

“You have no reason to be sorry. It’s not something Felix and I flaunt or try to make known. But thank you,” Ethan whispered in his ear.

They continued to hold each other, Nicoli giving all the comfort he could and Ethan sucking it all in. Nicoli wished there was something he could do for both Ethan and Felix. It was all so unfair. Felix didn’t deserve to die. Nicoli was sure of it. If only there was some way…

It felt like an electrical shock shot through Nicoli as an idea came to him. He pulled back from Ethan and gripped his shoulders tightly.

“Wait a minute. Ethan, you said that the Hearts were supposed to give whoever has them the power of God Himself, didn’t you?” Nicoli asked.

“Yes, that’s the legend anyways,” Ethan said with a nod. “Why do you ask?”

“Because, there may be something we can do. What if when we get the Hearts, before we destroy them, we use them to bring Felix back? If the Hearts are that powerful then we should be able to bring Felix back to life.”

He had expected Ethan’s eyes to light up and the ultimate joy to come from him at this revelation. Instead Ethan gave a grim smile and shook his head.

“That is very, very sweet of you, Nicoli,” Ethan said and stroked Nicoli’s cheek with the back of his hand. “But that is something not even the Hearts can do or should do.”

“What?” Nicoli asked in disbelief. “What are you talking about?”

“Everything changes in life, but death is permanent,” Ethan said. “When a life is taken it can never be brought back, no matter how much we wish it. If we did as you suggested and returned Felix to life he wouldn’t be Felix. He would become some ghastly creature that would be a shadow of his former self. An abomination to the world that was never meant to exist or re-exist.”

“But-But what about vampires?!” Nicoli demanded, taking a step back from Ethan. Not believing what he was being told. “You guys are creatures that died and were brought back to life. Why can’t the same work for Felix?”

“You’re wrong,” Ethan said and took in a deep sigh. “Vampires don’t work that way. Yes, our mortal lives are taken from us, but we never actually die. We go from life and pass death right into undeath, which is a completely different matter. Believe me, if it were possible I would wish Felix alive in a heartbeat, but it just can’t be done. I came to terms with that a long time ago.”

Nicoli nearly whimpered. It was a chance, a brilliant chance to right some horrific wrong and it would never be able to come to pass.

“I don’t understand,” Nicoli said. He turned and sat back down in the swing. “Why did he die? What reason could there possibly be? Felix may be an ass but he didn’t deserve to die, did he?”

“No, no he didn’t,” Ethan said as he plopped down in the swing next to Nicoli, facing the other way. “But I’ve come to find that injustice and evil tends to target the most innocent of victims.”

Nicoli stared at Ethan’s solemn face. The heart wrenching look on his face was enough to make anger boil in Nicoli’s chest and he wanted someone to blame. Anyone.

“He died because of Dimitri, didn’t he?” Nicoli asked.

Ethan’s head jerked up and whipped around to look at him.

“Now why would you say that?”

“It has to be, who else would hurt someone like Felix but someone who wanted to hurt the clan? It was him, wasn’t it?”

It was the only reason Nicoli could come up with. Dimitri obviously had brought pain to the clan and killing someone close to the clan would be a good way to do it. He also remembered the way Felix had fidgeted and had been very uncomfortable when talking about Dimitri. What else could it be?

They gazed at each other for a long while before Ethan looked away and closed his eyes.

“You can say that. Yes, in a way Dimitri is the cause for Felix’s death,” he said as he dug his foot into the wood chipped covered earth.

“Ethan, why is Dimitri against the clan, against his brother? You have to tell me,” Nicoli pleaded. It was no more fickle curiosity. Now he needed to know.

“Look, I can’t tell you Dimitri’s motivations. It was all far beyond my time,” Ethan said, opening his eyes and scowling up at the dark, cloudy sky. “But I can tell you how it all started and why Conrad hates Dimitri more than anything now.” He tore his gaze from the sky and his teal eyes locked with Nicoli’s. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

“Yes, tell me.”

“All right. Hundreds of years ago, when Conrad, Dimitri and Isaak had already walked the Earth for many years as vampires, their sire decided it was time to give leadership to one of them. As far as I know Conrad did not desire to become leader of the clan, but it was something Isaak and Dimitri strove for. In the end Isaak was chosen as the new clan leader. Dimitri was gracious and humble and followed his brother dutifully along with Conrad, but as time went on it became apparent that Isaak and Dimitri had conflicting interests and very different ideas on how the clan should be run.

“Soon it came to the point that great fights broke out between the two constantly. About three hundred years ago Dimitri had finally had enough and broke away from the clan with his fledglings, or most of them, and started his own clan. For a long while everyone thought this was best. There were no hard feelings between Dimitri and Isaak and the two clans were at peace with each other,” Ethan said.

“Then what happened to change that?” Nicoli asked in a breathy whisper.

“A hundred and fifty years ago is when everything turned for the worst. Faith told me that one night Isaak received a letter from Dimitri. Neither she nor Conrad knows what it said because he burned it right after he read it, but Faith is sure it had something to do with one of the Hearts. Isaak left that night, but before he did he took Conrad aside and told him that if anything were to happen to him then Conrad was to become the new clan leader.

“Conrad begged Isaak to explain what was going on, but he wouldn’t and he left that night. Isaak was gone for days and everyone fretted over him. Then, one night about a week later, Andre and one of Isaak’s other fledglings, Aria, dropped to the ground screaming and writhing in pain and they cried over and over that Isaak was dead.”

“Wha-but how did they know?” Nicoli asked.

“Because the bond between a sire and a fledgling is strong, so strong that if one dies the other can feel it no matter where, or how far away they are. That was how everyone knew that Isaak had died and that Dimitri was the one that killed him. From then on there has always been bad blood between the clans and Conrad is determined to kill Dimitri before Dimitri kills him,” Ethan explained.

Nicoli couldn’t believe it. Dimitri had killed his own brother in cold blood? He could now see where Conrad’s rage stemmed from, but there was something he just couldn’t wrap his head around.

“But why would Dimitri kill Isaak? You said after they split apart that everything was okay between them. Why would Dimitri suddenly go and kill Isaak?” he asked.

“I really don’t know,” Ethan said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Like I said I have no idea what his motivation is or what drives him. I’ve never really even met the man, but he’s done enough things that I can say I hate him.”

Nicoli stared at the ground as he made himself sway. He finally had some answers on the mysterious Dimitri. The elusive man was finally brought to light, but it didn’t make Nicoli feel any better to know his crimes. How could anyone do something like kill their own brother? But there was something in Ethan’s story that confused him more than the actions of a psychotic brother.

“Ethan, you mentioned that not all of Dimitri’s fledglings went with him. Who was the one that didn’t? And whose Aria?” he asked, not recognizing that name.

“Well, like I said, Aria was one of Isaak’s fledglings and Andre’s Blood Sister. She was also one of the strongest members of the clan. Only a crazy person would go up against her. We usually referred to her as Gavin’s Shadow. If given the chance she probably would have become just as strong as him and even surpassed him some day,” Ethan said with only a hint of a smile. “She was an incredible woman.

“The one fledgling that stayed with us was a man named Stephen and he was Dimitri’s first fledgling. When it cam to Dimitri and Isaak’s ideals he disagreed with Dimitri and when the time came to choose between us and Dimitri’s new clan he chose to stay with us. Stephen wasn’t really anything to brag about. He was all right in strength, both mental and physical, not outstanding, though, but he was a great guy and everyone loved him.”

“…why are you talking about them in the past tense?” Nicoli asked, fearing the worse. There was really only one reason for that, and the reason he hadn’t met either one.

“Because they are both gone,” Ethan said simply. He was crouched over with his elbows resting against his knees as his hands rubbed together. “Dimitri had them killed a few years back and there was nothing any of us could do about it. We’ve all suffered greatly because of Dimitri’s ruthlessness and what I wouldn’t give to have Aria and Stephen back.”

“Dimitri killed his own fledgling? That’s like killing his own son!” Nicoli said, horrified. First his brother and then his son? What was wrong with Dimitri? Did he have no remorse or feelings at all?

“Yes, that’s exactly what its like and that should give you an idea of what kind of man Dimitri is. I figure he killed Stephen for abandoning him and choosing to stay with us. It was something Dimitri found unforgivable,” Ethan said.

“God, I just-that’s so sick. And he’s the reason Felix is dead too?”

“Yes, he’s the reason for a lot of –”

Ethan stopped mid sentence and his head snapped up. Nicoli watched curiously as his eyes scanned the surrounding area.

“Ethan? Hey, what’s up?” Nicoli asked.

“I don’t know,” Ethan said as he slowly stood. “Stay here.”

“Wha? Ethan,” Nicoli said as he stood, but Ethan was gone. He looked all around but Ethan was no where to be seen. The hairs prickled on the back of his neck. What was going on? He slowly bent down and grabbed his umbrella that he has tossed on the ground. Something was wrong, really, really wrong.

“Ethan!” Nicoli called after a few minutes, but the only replied he received was a rumbling from the storm clouds above. Where did Ethan go? What was happening?

“It’s okay,” a voice said behind him.

Nicoli screeched and whirled around and struck the person with the umbrella with all of his might.

“Ow, Nicoli,” Ethan said as he stepped back and rubbed his chest.

“Oi, Ethan, don’t fucking do that. You scared the shit out of me,” Nicoli said, his heart racing and his breathing increased. “What was that all about?” he then asked as he drew the umbrella close to himself and looked around.

“Nothing, I thought I felt something,” Ethan said, his eyes going distant as he gazed about the various trees. “But I was wrong.”

“Jeeze, next time you “feel something” can you warn me before you disappear and leave me all alone? That seriously freaked me out.”

Ethan chuckled as he put his arm around Nicoli’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. Come on, let’s get you home. It’s getting late and I think we’ve had our fill of speaking ill of my black hearted Uncle,” he said as he nudged Nicoli along until the two made their way through the park.

“Yeah, I am so drained right now. After training and hearing all of your guys’ baggage I am just wiped. I’m gonna go home and crash like I’ve never crashed before.”

“Now when you crash are you going to go to sleep with thoughts of my kisses or Andre’s?” Ethan asked playfully.

“Hmm good question. Andre sure gave me something to think about. Remember that bandwagon I was talking about? Yeah, totally thinking of jumping over soon.”

“Hey!”

************************************************************************

As the two left the park they had no idea that just a few yards away a tall, looming man was watching them from behind a tree. Cruel dark, nearly black, eyes watched every move they made. They settled on the young, succulent human for a long while. He was so very, very ripe and when his heart had sped up in those few minutes it was pure music. The black eyes then slid over to Ethan and a fanged smirk spread across his face.

“What a buffoon,” he spat at the golden haired vampire. His voice was deep and purred with malicious delight. Ethan wouldn’t have been able to find him if he was right under the idiots nose. The rain had been most helpful anyways. It had washed away any scent that he could have left behind and made Ethan’s nose useless.

Conrad may have been on the alert of an oncoming enemy and was ready to send out his clan to intercept the intruder, but what Conrad didn’t know was that the threat had already arrived and was in their midst’s.

Seth laughed lowly as Ethan and the boy disappeared from his sight. He had been more than amused to sit back and listen to Ethan wail and moan about all of his troubles. What a sniveling brat. He would have loved nothing more than to put Ethan out of his misery and play with the boy as an added bonus, but unfortunately this was not a seek and destroy mission. All he was to do was seek; the destroying part would come soon after.

“I guess it’s time to report back,” Seth muttered, ignoring his instinct to follow Ethan and stain that pretty blond hair red. Instead he pressed his back against the bark and closed his eyes, opening his mind and stretching it far as it could possibly reach to the one mind, the only mind that mattered.

************************************************************************

The scratching of a quill against paper was the only sound Dimitri let reach his ears as he poured over the elegant writing that produced from his writing utensil. Most would laugh at his use of such an old item, but he was old fashioned at heart. He dipped the quill in the ink well to replenish it, but when he redrew it there was hardly anything to write with.

Dimitri sighed as he set the quill aside and picked up the little ink holder. He lifted his other hand and bit into the palm. He held it over the well and waited as drops of blood collected into the holder.

Once he was satisfied he set the ink well down and used a handkerchief lying on the desk to wipe off the remaining blood on his hand. He again placed the quill in the holder, but before he could start writing a familiar presence danced along his mind followed by a voice.

“Maaaaaasssssteeeeeeer.”

Dimitri smiled as he released the quill and leaned back in his chair. Seth sounded playful. That was always a good sign.

“Yes, Seth? Do you have good news to give me?”

“Oooh good news indeed. News that I’m sure will make you happy.”

“And you know how I like to be happy,” Dimitri replied.

“That I do and when you’re happy, I’m happy. Will I get a reward if this makes you happy?”

“It depends on how happy this news makes me. So, what have you found, my pet?”

“What I found is your brother’s golden boytoy, and I’m certain he’s the reason why they all left home in the first place,” Seth told him.

“Fantastic, now where are they?” Dimitri asked.

“In the little sinkhole of Whixton.”

Dimitri’s brows furrowed. Now that didn’t make any sense.

“Whixton? Now what in the world would they be doing there? That place has already been searched top to bottom.”

“It’s to do with the Hearts, I assure you. I overheard Ethan talking about it, so that must be why they’re here. Oh, and I have something interesting to tell you,” Seth said and by the sound of his voice Dimitri immediately knew whatever it was had elicit the predator in him.

“And what’s that?” Dimitri asked.

“Ethan has a new little human pet. I believe he goes by the name of Nicoli. A delicious little thing if I do say so myself.”

Dimitri’s brows now rose in surprise. Now that was interesting.

“Another one? Now I thought Ethan learned his lesson from last time? It appears my brother hasn’t learned to say no to his children yet, though I’ve been guilty of that myself. Is this boy just a fleeting fancy of Ethan’s?”

“Oh no, I think he’s much more. He seems to have intimate knowledge of the Hearts that only a fellow vampire would know, so he’s involved with that fool Conrad and his brats far more than some kind of sex pet,” Seth said. “And he seemed to be quite interested in you.”

“In me?”

“Yes, was asking quite a bit about you and Ethan was more than willing to bitch and whine about the traitors you had put down.”

Dimitri laced his fingers together over his stomach as he contemplated all of this new information. His brother had moved his entire clan to the town of Whixton and now they had a human boy with them. The question was whatever for?

“Good job, Seth, you deserved a great reward for your findings.”

“You’re too kind, Master.”

“Now I want you to come back before anyone realizes you’re there. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“Surprise? What are you planning, Master?” Seth asked curiously.

Dimitri smiled as he took up his quill. He held it over his paper until a single drop of blood fell and splattered against the crisp white surface.

“I think its time to pay my little brother a visit. See the family again, meet their new friend.”

He smiled as he placed the quill in his mouth and sucked on the tip.

“Yes, a family reunion is just what we need.”

===================Ch. 43 End