Tokyo Boys

TOKYO BOYS
Chapter 43


Yuuto hated feeling like he was carrying a 6 ton brick on his chest. In the end, he was too dirty for Daisuke. Daisuke pitied him. Daisuke could only remember that incident when he touched him.

He remembered vividly the pity and the disgust in Daisuke’s eyes after he found out what happened to him. Yuuto felt he was a fool for thinking Daisuke had any romantic feelings towards him. How could he when he already had his sights set on sensei?

Yuuto tried to shake the thoughts from his head as he stepped into the house. He couldn’t spend the holiday feeling gloomy because of what he knew all along. After all, he believed the first day of the year set the mood for the rest of it, and he was hell-bent on making the new year better.

Despite that, he walked into the house and slammed the door in anger. It opened wide from the power of the slam. He was about to close it, but his eyes landed on the phone, under the wall in front of him, which was blinking with recorded voice messages.

Yuuto stepped into his slippers, switched the lights on and walked to the phone, pressing it to play the messages. He lifted the earpiece to listen.

There were 3 new messages. The first was an automatic message, notifying some bills due date had already expired and immediate actions were needed. It took Yuuto a moment to realize the lights weren’t turned on even though he turned on the switch.

The electricity was cut off, Yuuto realized with a pinch in his heart. Here he was busy moping about his sad love life, when much greater things, like his mother’s whole life, were at stake. His hands started shaking and he almost missed the second message.

It was from his mother, overjoyed to tell him his little niece was born shortly after midnight on New Year’s Day.

The third message was from a woman, who appeared to be a real estate agent, informing his mother she had found a potential buyer for the house.

The earpiece dropped out of Yuuto’s hand. His mother put the house on sale and didn’t even tell him?

He could not express enough the betrayal he felt. It tore at his guts, he could almost feel physical pain. He suddenly found it difficult to breathe. He was nothing but a burden to his mother, a clumsy fool with two left hands that was good for nothing other than drawing.

His sister no longer needed him with a baby on her hands. She didn’t need him for a long time now.

And Daisuke… Daisuke, who couldn’t bear touching him, was going to be reunited with Moriyama-sensei before the week was going to be over.

No one needed him anymore. It hurt. It hurt a lot.

Yuuto looked at the dining table. Feeling the rage taking over him, he strode over and with one stroke of his hand, dropped all his tools and drawings to the floor. He looked at the drawing he had just started to work on in the morning, the one that was meant for Daisuke, and tore it to tiny pieces.

“Suits you right…” He gritted his teeth and sniffed as tears started to trickle down his face. “Suits you right…”

He rushed upstairs and like a storm destroyed everything in his path, tearing pictures from the walls, even kicking and breaking his shooji door.

“I don’t give a damn about this house!” He cried and continued to throw everything from his desk, rending any drawing he found in his way and almost broke the computer as well, when he suddenly stopped crying and turned around.

He could just make it easier for everyone and disappear. There was no hope for him anymore. If his family saw him as a burden, and he couldn’t get accepted into his desired university without the scholarship, what was left for him? Even his only friend had deserted him.

Despite the pain and the agonizing memories, he was ready to give his all to Daisuke, and he was rejected again. There was nothing left to hold on to.

Yuuto was still sniveling, pulling his nose, long after the tears had dried, and he found himself standing in front of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. As he expected, his mother’s prescribed sleeping medication was right in front of his eyes. She hardly ever took them despite the doctor’s order.

He popped one pill, two pills into his palm and then put them in his mouth.

“I don’t care anymore…” he whispered. “Do whatever you want…” he told his beaten reflection on the mirror-coated cabinet and then poured the entire bottle’s content into his mouth and washed it down his throat with a glass of water. He then dragged himself to his bedroom.

~*~

Daisuke was surprised to see Moriyama-sensei drinking tea in the kitchen when he walked in.

“I thought you’ll return in the evening…” he said.

“I was worried about you so I decided to return early.” The teacher smiled at him. “How are you doing? Your mother told me she found you an apartment.”

The boy shrugged and looked away nervously.

“You don’t seem too happy. Is everything all right?” Shouji covered the distance between them and touched the boy’s shoulder gently. “How’s Kaname-kun doing?”

Daisuke shut his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “I’m so stupid, sensei…”

“What did you do?” The teacher led the boy to the dinner table and pressed on him lightly to sit down, then went to pour him a cup of tea.

“It’s just… I’ve started feeling…” Daisuke nodded a quiet gratitude when Shouji handed him the hot mug. “It’s really weird…”

Shouji took a sip from his own cup of tea.

“I’m terrified, sensei…” Daisuke admitted quietly, spreading his fingers over the steaming glass. “I’ve never wanted Yuu-chan involved in my messed up lifestyle… I… I’ll only hurt him.”

Shouji shrugged. “We’re all humans, I think it’s impossible to avoid hurting people completely, regardless of your lifestyle, or anyone else’s for that matter.”

Daisuke shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t hurt him, he’s too important to me… If I can’t see him again, I… It’s unbearable… I can’t stand that thought.”

“Daisuke, I can understand that feeling, believe me – I’ve been there…” Shouji sighed. “But sometimes it works out.”

“Did it work for you, sensei?” Daisuke raised his eyes.

“No. But I survived and moved on, didn’t I? Anyway, it was different. We didn’t have the kind of relationship you and Kaname have to begin with.” He spoke almost in one breath, then took a long sip from his tea.

“You know…” Daisuke twisted his mouth into a crooked smile. “At first, when I’ve just met Yuu-chan, I thought of him as a pet… He was following me around like a cute little puppy…”

“Ahh…” Shouji grimaced, unsure he liked the boy’s analogy. “Is that so?"

“But with time I got to see a bit of his inner world, I was really amazed… I was happy to escape from my family and live in his world for a while… and I wanted to be the only one to…” Daisuke tapped nervously on his mug, but still haven’t drunk a drop. “I kind of…” He lowered his eyes, looking almost shy. “I kissed him… I almost pushed him into doing something more…” he sighed. “Then I freaked out and just ran off…”

Shouji raised his eyes. “You kissed him and just left him alone?”

“Not exactly. A few days ago I kissed him and told him to forget it… then just now, I pushed myself on him and we made out and then I sent him home…” he sighed. “Saying it like that - I really am a jerk… but I was suddenly so terrified of what we were doing…” Daisuke cupped the mug tight until Shouji forcibly took the mug away from his hands. His palms were already red.

“Look, Daisuke, I understand how you feel… but Kaname-kun… Yuuto is in a sensitive place right now, you should probably go see him and explain how you feel clearly.” Shouji was still holding Daisuke’s hand. “Just so he wouldn’t misunderstand.”

“Sensei… Are you upset with me?”

“Upset?” Shouji touched his glasses. “What do you mean?”

“I keep involving you in my drama and messing up your life. I hadn’t realized before what a dick I was.” The boy sighed. “I’m really sorry for everything, sensei.”

“Well, as your teacher – and as a human being – I couldn’t let you stay on the streets. For everything else – it takes two to tango, so it’s not all your fault. In fact, you taught me a thing or two about myself.”

Daisuke smiled earnestly. “I owe you so much, sensei. Thank you.”

“That doesn’t sound like you, have you grown up a little while I was gone?” Shouji chuckled and patted Daisuke’s cheek playfully. “Just go already. Don’t make Yuuto wait too long.”

“Yes sir~” Daisuke smiled and threw him a mock-salute before leaving the apartment again. He still didn’t know what he was going to say to Yuuto, or how he was going to excuse himself, but sensei was right, running away could only do more harm than good.

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