THERE'S NOTHING BEYOND THIS POINT

I am a detective, a private Dick.  My name is Agent 86, you can call me 86 or

LeBron if you want.  That's not my name but you can call me that anyhow.  I was

following a girl, it was late at night.  I put out my gasper and lit another.

I was good.  I lost the girl I was following but thats ok cause I saw another one

that looked even better.  She had bit tits, really big, just like I like them

cause I am a titty man.  Anyhow, I watched her leave this bar and go into another

one called the Lazy Ace...a real shithole, just the kind of place I like to hang

out in.  I went in and it wasn't to crowded. The dame was at the bar sipping

a gin.  I ordered whiskey and sat a few stools down, just chillin'. The bartender

made me and said, "hi 86."  I nodded and took another drink. I was on my third

whiskey and feeling a bit tight when this big hairy ape came up and started

doing his best to charm the frail.  She let him buy her a drink but obviously

she wasn't interested.

After about a half hour she tried to blow the guy off. He hung on, being a real

asshole. The frail got up to leave and he grabbed her by the arm..."come on lady,

hang around awhile and be social, or do you need me to give you a lift back to

your place?"

"No thanks, I'm tired and ready to turn in...maybe some other time."

The ape couldn't take a hint, he blocked the door and kept pretending he was Joe

Cool when everyone in the dive knew he was Joe Shit. He started getting aggressive.

He wouldn't let go of her arm despite her best efforts to brush him off.  He face

was getting flushed and for the first time that night she glanced in my direction.

Look I'm no hero and don't play one on tv but I was kinda hoping like maybe she

would be grateful if I bailed her out of the jam.  "The lady is ready to leave

buddy, why not let me but you a drink and we'll share jokes."  I thought I

sounded real reasonable sounding.

"Drop dead asshole before you get some medicine that don't go down so smooth.  I

bought this dame a drink and she's gonna show me some respect, no guzzle my

booze and take it on the lam like some society bitch."

I used to run a paper route as a kid.  The change box on the paper boxes back in

the day used to have a big heavy bolt that ran through them as part of the

security apparatus.  I still have one.  I reached around my back and pulled it

out of my belt and planted it right between the asshole's eyes.  He dropped like

the sack of shit he was.  His face was a bloody mess but I didn't kill him.  "I

think we had best be going" I suggested.  We beat it and quick.

"I had to do it, he was bigger than me..."

She smiled and tossed back her blond hair.  "It's OK, that jerk had it coming...

if you have a car I could use a ride home?"

We fired up my old junker and wound up at a pretty darn nice  house.  She flashed

her blue eyes at me,  "why don't you come in...nobody's home except my husband."

At the mention of her husband my stomach felt like it fell about twenty feet. My

balls trembled in anger and I felt a headache coming on.  Suddenly a felt a little

sorry for that poor idiot that I'd dropped in the Lazy Ace. "I better get going,

its best that I get up pretty early tomorrow."

The dame looked like she was about to cry.  "Oh please come in and have a drink,

Tom is fast asleep, his medication puts him out for ten hours at a time.  I'm a

little bit shook to tell you the truth, there is something about your voice that

calms me down...I'd love to hear you tell me another of your little stories."

"OK, I guess a few minutes won't make much difference."

She unlocked the front door and we went in. She flipped on the lights and the

first thing I noticed was somebody lying kinda half on the couch and half on

the floor.  It was a man and he was covered in blood.  The girl screamed and

I rushed over.  It took about a second to determine the man was dead.  His body

was cold and stiff as a board.  He should be, he had a hole in his head as big

as a quarter and a couple more in his back.  It was a fucking mess for real.

"Its Tom, is he dead?"

"I'm afraid so, somebody shot him three times...maybe you shouldn't look. Get us

a couple of drinks while I call the bulls."

She nodded and seemed to gather herself pretty well. "My name is Alice by the

way..."

"They call me Lebron"  I replied and looked around the room for anything that might

mean...something?  I noticed that Tom's knuckles were scraped and bruised on his

right hand...looked like he'd opened a can of whup ass on somebody that night.

I lit a cigarette and scratched my nuts while Alice wasn't looking.  It helped

me think.  While she fixed our drinks I went around to the back door...it was wide

open. I took a small flashlight out of my pocket and looked around a bit outside.

I spotted something, a cigarette pack.

To bad it wasn't my brand, it was half full. It seemed likely the killer had

dropped it accidentally cause no smoking addict would throw away a half a pack

when the damned things cost a fortune.  I slipped the pack in my pocket and

went back in. Alice handed me a whiskey.  "How did you know?"

She shrugged and tried to smile..."you look like a whiskey guy.  I feel terrible

about this Lebron, Tom and I were about to get a divorce but I never wanted

him to end up like this...he wasn't a bad guy, I was just to  young when we

married."

"NO need to explain," I said before taking out my cell and calling the cops.

They got there quick. They asked a lot of questions and let me go. I didn't

even get a chance to say goodbye to Alice. I went back to my place and got

good and drunk off my personal poison. I slept till way past noon when I got

a phone call.  It was Alice, "I got  your number from a policeman, I just

wanted to thank you for everything last night. It would have been a lot

worse if I'd had to go in and find Tom like that all by myself. I'm afraid

I was a lot more shook than I let on...I tried to put on a brave face

because you were there I guess..."

"Sure Alice, I understand...do the cops have any information about what

happened?  I am a private detective  you know...maybe I can help in some

way."

We decided to meet that night and talk things out. I wasn't going to get

paid but Alice was a damn fine looking woman and the case did interest me

for other reasons. I discovered I had no smokes. My head hurt and I didn't

really feel like going for more...I decided to try on of the killers.

My hand was shaking when I picked up the pack and I spilled the smokes.

When I went to pick them up I discovered a small slip of paper had fallen

out onto the floor. Written on the paper was an address...413 West Haven

Road.  That was Alice's house.  Underneath the address was some more

writing, it read..."the wife says she'll be out till late but but get in

and do the job fast."  Interesting.  I started seeing pretty Alice in

an entirely new light...and it was a damn shady one at that.

That night I picked her up about eight thirty.  She looked incredible in

a black dressed that was tight and then some. My mind was racing and I

didn't know what direction it was taking me.  "I spent a couple of hours

at the police station today.  I found out Tom had a mistress and one

that like living well.  Apparently my husband was almost broke and they

found some receipts for expensive jewelry in the pocket of one of his

suits. I guess I would be more upset if he wasn't dead.  Anyhow, the cops

seem to think this girl...her name is Jill Barnes, is some kind of

shady operator who runs with some fast company of whatever. I think they

questioned her pretty extensively today also. Other than that, I have no

clue about what's going on. Tom's sister is making funeral arrangements,

that is one helluva relief for me.  He's going to be buried in two days

if all goes according to what is sister tells me."

I parked outside a pretty nice restaurant, suddenly Alice leaned against me

and put her lips against mine. She was a damned good kisser and I found

myself responding despite the little voices in my head protesting. The ones

in my balls won out as usual. We made out for a few minutes before driving

back to her house and having great sex.  I will leave out the details.

A couple of hours later I left, as I walked back to my car I leaned over to

pull up one of my socks. Yeah, it was only a sock but I owe it my life.  

At that point two shots rang out and whizzed through the space where my

head had been just a split second before. I jerked my revolver out and

spat a shot towards a black SVU as its tires squealed and off it went.

Spending time with Alice was becoming one helluva dangerous thing for a

man to do.  I decided to not call the cops, there weren't any other houses

close by so I guess it didn't happen.  Alice never came to the door cause

I had left her fast asleep.  I decided to go home and crash. It looked like

I was going to be plenty busy in the near future, and not get paid a fucking

cent for my trouble!




 


Agent 86by meanus