Moonlight Denial: Shades of Moonlight Book One

When Nicoli opened his eyes he was more than a little confused. He remembered that when he had closed his eyes that it had been in Gavin’s less than furnished room. That was not the case now.

He was in a room that looked like it was decaying before his eyes. The plaster in the walls was cracked and chunks were missing and the floor beneath felt like it would give at any second. Furniture was haphazardly scattered and most were in pieces and just as decayed. A cough was forced from his lungs at the thick dust that was in the strange room and as he glanced around he could see cobwebs lined the corners and ceiling.

A peculiar sensation sparked in his brain. He knew this place. It was familiar to him, but he didn’t know why. He spotted a window at the far end and made his way towards it. He stepped lightly and he gulped each time the floor creaked and he was sure it would crumble at any second. He let out a sigh of relief when he made it to his destination.

A gasp passed his lips and his eyes widened when he looked out. He could see city lights off in the distance and a great, massive bridge that cut through the water, connecting land to land. He knew this place, knew it very well. He was in San Francisco. He didn’t question how or why he was there. All that mattered was the warm feeling that spread and seeped through his chest. He was home.

The warm, fuzzy feeling dissipated, however, when he looked down. Another gasp escaped him, only this time it was one of fear. He could make out headstones and graves that surrounded the building. He was in a cemetery.

Instantly a cold trickle started from the back of his neck and spread throughout the rest of his body. Now he knew why the building felt familiar. It was a funeral home he had been to many times as a child, when it was alive and in use. He knew the building just as well as the home he grew up in. No nook and cranny had been left unexplored in order to quench his young curiosity and it was the one place Nicoli swore he would never come back to.

He backed away from the window. Uncontrollable shudders made his hands shake as he placed them on his chest. His insides were frozen. There was such terror coursing through his body that he could hardly breathe. What was he doing here? How had he gotten here? The more important question was how could he get out?

“Ethan!” he yelled, his voice echoing throughout the dilapidated building and he swore it creaked back in reply. When there was no answer panic began to rise, closing his throat, but he continued to call. “Ethan! Please answer me! Are you here?! Ethan! Get me out of here!!!” His calls gradually turned into screams and tears pricked at his eyes when still Ethan did not come to save him. Ethan wasn’t here. He was all alone in this horrid building…or so he thought.

Nicoli whirled around when something scuttled behind him. He looked around frantically, but there was nothing there.

“E-Ethan?” he said. It came out as more of a whine and he whimpered when there was still no reply.

The scuttling sound came again and this time he saw a shadow move out of the corner of his eye. He turned, but as soon as his eyes settled on the spot the shadow was gone. Again he saw it for the briefest of seconds, but it moved before he could lay eyes on it. This happened over and over as the shadow circled him like a predator teasing its prey.

The shadow then disappeared all together and no matter how much Nicoli twisted and turned his head it did not tease his peripheral vision. It was then wiped from his thoughts as his ears pricked. A sound was beginning to fill the room. At first it was nothing but a hum and then it gradually grew into a buzz. When it reached a pitch he could clearly hear he realized it was a combination of voices, but he could not make out what they were saying. That was until the voices rose into a crescendo and it became clear that it was the same voice, but it was chopped up and saying multiple phrases, phrases that he soon could understand.

“No one needs you. You are worthless. No on needs you. Your existence is meaningless. No one needs you. You bring misery into every life you touch. No one needs you. Your parents resent you and your friends hate you. No one wants you.”

The voices swirled around Nicoli and he covered his ears with his hands and screwed his eyes shut, trying to keep the voices out. Trying not to listen. Trying not to hear.

“Stop it! Shut up!” he tried to scream above the voices, but they had become a roar that easily drowned him out.

“No one needs you. No one wants you. No one needs you. No one loves you.”

“You’re lying! I’m needed! I’m loved! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!!”

Then all was silent. The voices ceased and Nicoli’s ears rang in the sudden quiet. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. Nothing had changed. He was still in the rundown room and he could hear nothing but the thudding of his own heart. Then the voice came back and began to quietly hum a soft tune before it began to sing.

“Who killed Cock Robin?” It asked and Nicoli’s brows rose in confusion. He knew that song. But why did it fill him with such icy dread? ““I,” said the Sparrow, “With my bow and arrow I killed Cock Robin.””

“Who’s there? Show yourself!” Nicoli demanded.

He gasped as his spine snapped straight and he froze. Someone was behind him. He could feel it. The presence was almost suffocating and it paralyzed him. He could not move and he could not turn to see who it was. He let out a trembling breath as fingers touched both sides of his neck. Then nails grazed along the skin there. They were sharp. They were far too sharp.

“Nicoli.”

His heart nearly stopped at just the sound of the voice that was now so close. It was a deep male voice, but there was so much wicked malice in that single word that he thought he would freeze into oblivion right then. Part of him wish he could. That voice was familiar. It was just as familiar as the room he was in, but for some reason he could not place a face to it. He didn’t even know where he had heard that voice before, but he knew that voice as well as if it were his own. His body seemed to know the voice well enough to shoot terror into his veins. It filled him with such fear that he could hardly see straight.

“Who…Who are you?” Nicoli choked out, desperately wanting to know the person that could elicit these feelings so easily in him.

The man that the voice belonged to did not answer right away, instead those fingers with the impossibly sharp nails continued to run along his skin. It traced his jaw line, went down his skin and dug in more as they scraped along his throat. Then a mouth was pressed to the back of his ear and he flinched when razor like teeth began nibbling on the tip.

“How I miss you, Nicoli. My Nicoli. You’re so weak and so fragile right now, it’s delicious,” the man whispered into his ear. “And you‘re wrong. Everything that I speak is truth. No one needs you. Not your parents, not your friends…not even those little vampires you’ve surrounded yourself with. You are nothing but a burden to everyone around you and they resent you for it. They hide behind false smiles and deceptive words while inside they hate you with such fire and passion that it would scorch you alive if you even felt a fraction of it.”

Tears glistened in the darkened room as they slid down Nicoli’s cheeks. A sound between a whimper and a sob left him as he quietly cried in despair.

“No…you’re lying,” he said, but it came out as more of a desperate plea. He trembled as a long tongue came around and lapped up the steady flow of salty tears. It gently caressed his cheek as it fed on his misery.

“Oooh how I’ve missed these tears,” the man moaned in his ear as the tongue retracted. “Again I’m not lying. All of the ones that supposedly love you are the liars. But there is one person that needs you. That needs you with their entire being. This need is almost unbearable for them and tears them a part day after day.”

“W-Who?” Nicoli asked in a whisper. Who could possibly need him that much? He cried out as the nails bit into the flesh of his neck and raked back. His skin then tickled as beads of blood wept from the marks and the tongue came back to slowly and delicately collect them all.

“I do,” the man said. “You have no idea how much I need you. My entire body cries out for you every second we’re apart. I am in eternal agony and will stay that way until you are brought back into my rightful possession.”

“Brought…back?” Nicoli muttered weakly. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand any of this. All he knew was that being in this man’s very presence and being touched and spoken to in this manner was filling him with such great desolation. Something inside him told him that he hated this man. He hated him with every ounce of feeling in his body, but, deep down, somewhere in his gut he longed for this horrible man. In a twisted way he felt like he needed this man, just like the man said he needed him. Nothing made sense.

“Who…are you?” he asked again.

The man did not reply and the hands went away. When they did Nicoli was filled with such overwhelming relief that he thought he would collapse to his knees.

“Soon, Nicoli, soon. Soon you will not find the need to ask that question. Soon you will know me again…soon.”

Nicoli felt he needed to ask when or how he would know, but he didn’t get the chance. The sound of splintering wood filled the room and he had just enough time to look down before the floor shattered beneath him and he began to fall into a black abyss. He screamed. He screamed loud enough that the people in his beloved city should have heard him. But through his screaming the man’s voice followed after him and whispered in his ear as if he were falling with him.

“All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing when they heard the bell toll for poor…Cock…Robin…”

************************************************************************

A sharp cry punctuated the air as Nicoli’s body jumped. He flailed around as he was constricted by some foreign object that seemed intent on squeezing the life out of him. He was finally able to rip it off and sit up. With the thing firmly in his grasp he made to throttle it to death before it got him, but stopped his attempt when he found that his attacker was nothing more than a blanket.

“…oh.” He dropped the blanket and rubbed at his face, wiping away the sweat that had collected on his skin. He glanced around and for a moment he didn’t know where he was, but when he took in the single mattress and bare room the events of his lesson came flooding back.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was in a place he knew. He was safe, though why he had those feelings he wasn’t quite sure. None of it mattered, however, when a sharp pain shot through his right eye. He doubled over so his head was between his knees and he cradled his face as his eye began to throb horribly.

“Damn it. Stop it,” Nicoli hissed through his teeth. He willed the pain to go away. Begged it to, but it would not relent and soon he was shaking and whimpering as the pain radiated through the rest of his skull.

He distantly heard the door open and close, but he paid no attention to it. He had far more important matters on his hands.

“Nicoli? Nicoli, what’s wrong?” A soft voice asked and it was filled with concern.

Nicoli felt the mattress sink as he another body joined him. With great difficulty he lifted his head and stared through watery eyes at Ethan.

“My-My eye. It hurts. Hurts so bad,” he practically sobbed as he leaned his face into Ethan’s bare chest. He would have wondered why Ethan was shirtless, but not right then.

“Your eye?” Ethan said as his arms came around Nicoli’s shaking body, trying to offer comfort. “Why does your eye hurt? What happened?”

“It just…does this,” he answered as he clenched his jaw and sucked in breath through his teeth. Even when he was held close to the other he found no relief.

“Is there anything I can do?” Ethan asked as he rubbed Nicoli’s back.

“I dunno. I don’t…I don’t have my medication. Fuuuck,” Nicoli bit out as a particularly nasty throb hit him. “Do you have – nngh – pain killers? Anything?”

“No, none of us have any need for that kind of stuff here,” Ethan said as he held Nicoli tighter and stroked his head.

“Fuck, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts.” Normally Nicoli liked his eye pain to be a completely private affair and he would always handle it on his own. God forbid if he ever acted like this in front of his mother. But since Ethan was already there and, for some reason, Nicoli felt he could let himself express the pain he was in around Ethan.

“Damn, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I can do for you…hold on a second.” Ethan put his hand on Nicoli’s head and forced him to tilt it back. “Just hold still. I have an idea.”

Nicoli hardly had the strength to move, let alone fight or question Ethan’s actions. The burning sensation in his eye was all that mattered. He let out a grunt when Ethan used one hand to pull up his eyelid as far as it would go. He then watched as Ethan bit into his index finger on his other hand.

“Now, don’t move,” Ethan told him as he held the bit finger directly over Nicoli’s eye.

Nicoli broke through his haze of agony long enough to figure out what Ethan was doing. Before he could even think of moving away a drop of crimson blood dripped from Ethan’s finger and gravity carried it down and down until it splattered and coated Nicoli’s eye.

He cried out and jerked away. He curled up into the mattress and a string of curses left him. That was the second time Ethan had put blood in his eye and he was not happy about it. That was until a wave of pure relief spread from his eye and seeped into the rest of his skull until he felt perfectly fine. He sagged against the bed and breathed heavily as he soaked up the absence of pain. It was quite nice.

“Did that help any?” Ethan asked and his hand returned to rub Nicoli’s back.

“Y-Yeah, it did,” Nicoli said as he slowly lifted his head. He hovered there for a second to see if there would be a change in his vision like the first time, but it stayed the same. He supposed it already happened with his head burrowed into the mattress.

He sat up and rubbed at his eye and he sighed when it felt normal. No lingering aches or pains. He turned to Ethan and gave a smile of gratitude.

“Thank you. I don’t know if I could have taken another second of that,” he said. That seemed to be the worse attack he’d suffered in a while. He wondered why, but he quickly blamed it on the heavy duty training session. He must have overworked it and the strain had kicked his eye into overdrive.

Ethan smiled as he brushed away Nicoli’s bangs from his face and ran the back of his fingers against the soft cheek.

“I’m glad you’re okay. You had me really worried there. What was that all about?” he asked.

“Eh, nothing major. It’s just this eye pain I get every once in a while. It hurts like a bitch, but nothing more to it than that.”

“I remember you mentioning that once. Why does that happen?” Ethan questioned.

“You mean you don’t know?” Nicoli asked, amazed by the prospect. “But you saw all my memories. I thought you knew everything there is to know about me.”

“Hey, I never said that. In fact I remember saying quite the opposite,” Ethan said. “But if you really don’t remember I’ll say it again. Yes, I did see your entire life, but that doesn’t mean I was able to hold in everything or know why certain events happened, so I really don’t know why it is you’re having this kind of pain. I’m quite interested in finding out, though.”

Nicoli looked down at his lap and busied himself with playing with the ends of the blanket. He supposed there was no harm in telling Ethan why his eye was so messed up. It was just a simple matter of him not liking anyone to know about it.

“Well…all right I’ll tell you, but only you. Don’t go blabbing to everyone else about this,” he said as he clenched and unclenched his hands in the blanket.

“Is it really that bad?” Ethan asked.

“No, not bad, really. I just don’t like people learning about what happened because then they feel the need to pity me or something. And that’s what I really hate.”

“Okay, I promise not to tell the others,” Ethan vowed.

Nicoli took in a deep breath and held it for a second before releasing it. It had been a long time since he told this story and just as long since he thought back to the night of his ultimate stupidity.

“You see, when I was thirteen my grandmother died,” he said ad he wrapped his arms around his knees and stared off into the distance. “I was devastated because I was really close to her. I was depressed for months afterwards and nothing that anyone said or did could bring me out of my funk. That’s when my friend Brittany had enough and suggested something that could possibly make me feel better. She said we should go to the old funeral home in the nearby cemetery so I could properly say goodbye to her.”

Ethan was listening intently, but he made a noise of confusion at that part.

“Old funeral home? Why on earth would you go to a place like that to say goodbye?” he asked.

“Because Grammy used to work there,” Nicoli explained. He noticed his tongue felt weird calling his grandmother by the pet name he had for her. He hadn’t said it in forever. “She had worked there for about thirty years and she would always tell me how much she loved her job because of the people she met and how she could help people with their grief and make sure that the loved ones that had past on would be treated with the utmost respect.”

“Oh,” Ethan said softly.

“What sucked, though, was that when I was about seven the funeral home was closed down and abandoned. Grammy was heartbroken after that, but she never stopped telling me old stories about the good times when she worked there and what I remembered most about those times was the warm smile she had when she told me those stories. It may seem odd, given what it was, but she really, really loved that place. That’s why it was the perfect way to say goodbye to her.”

“I understand,” Ethan said with a nod.

“Now here’s the thing,” Nicoli continued. “In the time since it was shut down to the time of Grammy’s death the building had become extremely run down and hazardous. Zack, Brittany and I didn’t care because we were idiotic little squirts,” he grumbled, thinking back to his carefree days when he thought he was invincible. “So, one night we all snuck out of our houses and met up at the funeral home. It was a three storey building and we all decided that the third floor would be the best place to do our little memorial service. That was easier said than done.”

Nicoli shook his head and began biting his lower lip. Why oh why had he been so stupid?

“I was bringing up the rear of our little group and when we had reached the second floor and were making our way to the third…well, let’s just say that’s where everything went wrong.”

“Well, come on, don’t leave me hanging here,” Ethan said impatiently.

“All right, all right,” Nicoli said with a little chuckle. “As I was walking across the floor there was this really loud creak and then it sounded like everything was splintering and cracking around me. The next thing I know the floor collapses beneath me and I fall through to the floor below. As you can imagine it gets a bit hazy after that.”

“Yowch,” Ethan said and winced in sympathy. “Well, obviously you turned out okay.”

“Yeah, the doctors said I was pretty lucky. I didn’t break anything or get brain damage or, you know, die. But somehow, and I’m still not very clear on the details, I messed up something in my eye so it’ll randomly hurt every once in a while.”

“So, you walked away from falling a full storey with just a screwy eye?” Ethan asked. “I’d say you were more than luckily.”

“Well, that’s not all that happened,” Nicoli admitted. “As a result of the fall I was in a coma for about two months. It was quite interesting actually. One second I’m in the old funeral home, the next I’m waking up in a hospital bed with people telling me months have gone by. It didn’t even feel like I had missed a chunk of time.”

“A coma?” Ethan murmured. A spark then shown in his eyes as if he had figured out something. “Well that explains it! That makes perfect sense,” he exclaimed as he gave a slap to his knee.

“…what makes perfect sense?” Nicoli asked.

“Look, I’ve never mentioned this before, because I didn’t want to freak you out or anything, but when we first established the mind link and we transferred our memories I noticed something very peculiar about you,” Ethan explained.

“What?”

“There was one part of your memories that weren’t there. I’d never seen anything like it. You actually had a gap in your memories. I figured there was a reason for it, but I never thought it was the result of a coma. And, now that I think about it, it did pop up around the age you said that happened to you. So it all fits together.”

“…a gap?” Nicoli echoed with brows raised. He then tilted his head in thought. “Yeah, I guess that would make sense. If I’m in a coma I can’t really make memories, can I? Wait, you saw that all that time ago and you never asked me about it?” he asked. “If it was me I would have gone insane and broke down and asked you in a matter of days, maybe hours.”

Ethan chuckled and ruffled Nicoli’s already disheveled hair.

“Well, let’s just say I’m not as nosy as you then. Besides you’re already dealing with so much stuff I didn’t want to add to your anxieties by bringing this up. But now that I know there’s a reason for it and that you were aware of it I think its okay to let you know.”

“Thanks for the consideration,” Nicoli said with a light smile and a roll of his eyes. “Anything else peculiar that I should know about me that you’re hiding?” he asked as he fixed his hair.

“No, that’s the only thing that stuck out to me. Other than that you’re a completely normal kid.”

“Oh, yeah, normal,” Nicoli snorted. “Hanging out with a whole family of vampires plus an annoying, cynical ghost and being mentally linked to one of those vampires is completely normal. My life is just humdrum.”

Ethan chuckled and shook his head.

“All right, besides all of that you’re normal.” The smile and laughter slowly trickled from Ethan’s face and was replaced with a frown full of remorse. “Nicoli, I…I know this may not mean much now, after everything, but I want to say that I am truly and honestly sorry about not telling you about the dangers of the mind link. I had heard about what could happen if it were broken in such a way, but I never once thought that it actually could happen…if that makes any sense. I was just so sure we could make it through anything, any form of attack, but after what Gavin did…I realized how foolish I was.” He had been rubbing his hands as he spoke and he stopped just long enough to look up into Nicoli’s eyes sheepishly. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Nicoli silently regarded Ethan. He seemed so sad and forlorn, nothing like the playful bastard he usually was and that made Nicoli’s gut clench to see it. He knew that he should be angry with Ethan for just a little while longer. The pain he had experienced and the blood that had spilt had shown his vulnerability reinforced that. Deep down, however, Nicoli thought that the blame shouldn’t be completely on Ethan’s shoulders. He had agreed to it, hadn’t he? And even if Ethan hadn’t warned him it wasn’t like he had gone out of his way to ask if there were any dangers that came with the link. In his own ways he was also at fault.

“You know, I kinda think what you said did make sense,” Nicoli said, avoiding the forgiveness question for now. “Even after Gavin told me that I could die from the link and even though I was so pissed at you, a part of me didn’t think anything would come from it. To me it was just a threat, not an actuality…I guess Gavin proved us both to be fools.” Nicoli studied his feet beneath the covers as he wiggled his toes. “But since we do have to work together for a long time to come I suppose I can forgive you…for now,” he added when Ethan’s face lit up. “But I hold the right to bring this up as a point when we get into our next fight, as something I can hold over you.”

“When? I don’t even get an ‘if’ we get into a fight?” Ethan asked.

“Oh, come one, don’t play dumb. You know we’re going to get into fights until this is all over and we part ways,” Nicoli said with a laugh.

“A fate we’re doomed to, aren’t we?” Ethan said with his own smile. He then took one of Nicoli’s hands and held it between his own. “Thank you, Nicoli, really. You don’t know how sorry I am to have put you in this kind of danger, but I want you to know that Gavin and I are taking steps to make sure this never becomes a problem.”

“Yeah, with our lessons, I know,” Nicoli said.

“No, I mean we’re taking further measures,” Ethan corrected him. “When you look at it I am really the stronghold for our link, the one with the most power to protect it. I need your help in doing it, yes, but this link originally stems from my own powers. So I will be training with Gavin everyday to strengthen my mental abilities and make sure that I can protect you the way you need to be protected,” he said. He took one of his hands and again grazed the back of his fingers against Nicoli’s cheek.

Nicoli looked away as he felt heat creep into his skin. To him, it was as if Ethan was doing something he hated…for him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He wasn’t dumb, they both knew it was a necessity at this point, but Ethan could have been selfish and fought it all the way, but here he was, vehemently stating that he was going to go through and give the training his all for the sake of Nicoli’s safety.

He had no words to express his gratitude or appreciation. Instead he gripped Ethan’s hand tightly and leaned forward to press their lips together. He felt Ethan stiffen, surprised by the sudden action, but that didn’t last long. Soon the lips he kissed responded and fingers weaved into his hair to draw him closer. The kiss was gentle and sweet and didn’t become overly heated, which would only lead to other things.

When Nicoli thought he got his message across he pulled back, breaking the contact. His face was still stained red as he gave a lopsided smile. He couldn’t quite get himself to look Ethan full in the eye.

“Thanks,” he said softly. Not knowing what else to say.

“Hell, if I get that kind of treatment for apologizing I should make you angry more often,” Ethan said with a full grin.

“Hey, that is a very dangerous line there, Buddy,” Nicoli said warningly, happy to have an excuse to slip into his old self. “Piss me off enough and you won’t get squat from me. No matter how much you apologize.”

“Not even if I say pretty, pretty please?” Ethan purred as he leaned forward enough to plant kisses on Nicoli’s neck and nip at the skin there.

“Not even if you put whip cream on you with a cherry on top,” Nicoli said with a laugh as he pushed Ethan away. “All right, I’m ready to get up. I don’t want to be bedridden all day.” He kicked the blankets up and stretched his arms and legs.

“You sure? Do you feel okay after the session and everything?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, I still feel a little drained and whatnot, but I’ll be fine. I need to move.” He proved this point by moving his legs as if he were on a bicycle.

“All right, all right.” Ethan stood up and helped Nicoli to his feet and off the mattress. “Oh, I nearly forgot,” he said before Nicoli could bolt for the door. “The whole reason I came in here is because I heard you yell. Was that just because of your eye pain?”

“I yelled?” Nicoli murmured. He thought back, but couldn’t remember him yelling all that loudly when his eye had hurt, but then he figured out what Ethan must have heard. “Oh, no. You must have heard me when I first woke up. The whole reason I woke up was because I had a nightmare…I think.”

“You think?”

“Well, I don’t remember anything from it. I’m really bad at remembering dreams, but I’m assuming it was a nightmare from the way my heart was pounding and I felt really scared and shaky. Usually normal dreams aren’t supposed to make you feel like that,” Nicoli explained with a light chuckle.

“You probably had a nightmare of all the training we still have to do,” Ethan said with a chuckle as he looped his arm around Nicoli’s waist and headed for the door. “I can just imagine Gavin chasing you with a big whip as he yells at you to give him four hundred more sit ups.”

They both laughed as they filed out of the room.

“I am so telling Gavin you said that,” Nicoli said teasingly before sprinting down the hall.

“Hey! Don’t you dare!” Ethan yelled as he took off after him and laughter echoed throughout the big house as they went.

===================================== Ch. 41 End