Guardians (working title)

Chapter 3
The price of immortality

Months past without any word from the council. Nelsara and Imaraneth formed a strong friendship and consequently Nelsara also grew closer to Dreis. He felt sorry for the two of them. He could tell how much they loved each other and even though they had been together for five years they could not tell anyone. Imaraneth had told Dreis that Nelsara knew about them which had caused Dreis to be angry for a few days but after he realised that Nelsara would never tell anyone he settled to the point that he would hug Imaraneth and hold his hand in Nelsara's company.
Detalani and Nelsara's relationship had deepened as they now could spend every night together. Nelsara had still not taken the plunge and made love with her although they had talked at length about it. Nelsara didn't quite feel ready yet.
He spoke to Imaraneth about intimate details of his life. Some things he had not discussed even with Detalani. The dragon seemed to exude a calm over everyone around him and enjoyed listening to Nelsara, he also shared a lot of his own stories and was as open as Nelsara about his relationship with Dreis.
He had never come in contact with the surge of magic again and had largely forgotten about it. He had filled his days with activities, running with Imaraneth in the morning, followed by lunch with Imaraneth and whoever else happened to be eating at the time. In the afternoon he largely spent his time reading or painting or, when permitted, watching Detalani train. Even the training of a powerful mage did not fill him with the pain that the powerful surge had. In the evening he spent time with Lórien catching up with the gossip of the day before spending the late evening and balmy night with Detalani. Their relationship had progressed quickly since coming to Emal-Edith and he was enjoying exploring this new world of sexual pleasure with her. He had even met her parents and thankfully they loved him.
It was nearing the mid winter festival and it was assumed that they would all be in residence over that time. The winter festival was not too big a deal of Ferion due to their love of the heat and flames but on Emal Edith where they worshipped all the elemental gods equally it was greeted with great excitement.
Nelsara was helping Lórien make garlands when Nanda found him. He took him away into another building high up in the canopy where a number of about fifteen white robed elves sat on red silk cushions. Detalani was there, her hair hung in carefully combed curls down her back. She smiled warmly as she approached him and slipped her slim pale hand into his.
“Do you know why you are here?” Nanda smiled.
“Um it could be a number of things.” Nelsara spoke carefully. “But I'm hoping it is about my immortality.”
Nanda nodded. “We have been speaking at length with Lórien and Detalani about your candidacy for immortality and we have made a decision.” He paused and picked up a scroll before standing.
“Nelsara Dutha Kirinski we, the council of representatives for the immortal races, are pleased to inform you that you will be granted immortality on the eve of the winter festival.”
Nelsara couldn't believe his ears, Detalani squeezed his hand tight and he felt tears prick at his eyes. “Thank you, thank you so much.” He babbled.
Nanda smiled and folded the scroll. “To prepare for this you should meditate on your life so far and prepare yourself for extended years. This however should not be a problem since there are no mortal influences in your life.”
Nelsara couldn't stop smiling as he walked back to his temporary lodgings with Detalani. Three weeks of mortal life left and then he could be with her forever.
Detalani hugged him tight when the got into the safety of the lodgings and Nelsara let his tears go. Detalani was crying too. “This is it Nel, we can be together forever.”
“I know.” His heart swelled at the very thought. He held her tightly. Now was the right time to tell her. “Lani...I”
She pulled back and looked at him with bright shinning green eyes. “Yes.”
“I know we have not been together too long but..” She looked at him slightly confused he took a deep breath. “Lani.. I love you.”
She smiled at him “I love you too.”
She pulled him in for a kiss and held him tight for the longest time. They only pulled apart when Lórien crashed through the door.
“Nel...I heard the good news. Thank Kitar.” Lórien hugged him warmly surprising Nelsara with his genuine happiness. He had never thought of Lórien as an actual friend more of a boss. Now he knew how the older Ferionite felt. He hugged him back tight.
“Come we must have a celebratory dinner tonight before all the hard work has to go into preparations for winter festivals.”
And so they went to a big meal with most of the Emal Edith elves and the visiting elves present. Nelsara was not the only person becoming immortal at the winter festival. The others were older than Nelsara, in their mid twenties and had lived in the company of the Emal Edith elves most of their lives. The Emal Edith elves often took in orphans from mortal planets, usually the ones who seemed to have lost their way or have been abandoned as babies. That was how most Inaspri were found and created though not all orphans chose to become immortal or were deemed strong enough mentally to make the change. They ate the simple but tasty vegetarian fair of Emal Edith and supped on the honey mead until all were at least slightly giddy. Nelsara watched the room with interest. His eyes strayed to Imaraneth and Dreis and his heart went out to them. In the midst of all these merrymaking friends and couples they could not show their love for one another. Imaraneth caught his eye and smiled sadly, Nelsara made a small motion to indicate he wanted to speak to the dragon outside. Imaraneth nodded and followed him outside.
“How can you do this Neth?” He whispered gently. “Its killing me just watching you.”
“It kills me too.” The dragon admitted “But what can I do about it, I cannot become an officer for another two years. I have already begun my applications.”
“surely its not that strict.” Imaraneth whispered slipping a comforting arm around the dragons waist. “Could you not speak to whoever is in charge of the rules. You two have been together for ages. I'm sure they would understand.”
Imaraneth smiled sadly and returned the hug leaning his head on top of Nelsara's. “It would be so easy to tell everyone but I do not want to ruin Dreis's life.”
“It will not ruin his life. He will only be sent away.” Nelsara pulled out of the hug so he could look the dragon in the eye. “Speak to Dreis about it. How much trouble could you actually get in.”
“A lot.” Dreis's voice had a slight tinge of anger, he looked stonily at Imaraneth but Imaraneth did not remove his arm from Nelsaras shoulder. “It could disgrace us both, me more so. I am the one in a position of power over him and therefore should not be conducting this relationship.”
Imaraneths hand tightened on Nelsara's shoulder. “I hate hiding us.” He whispered though no one was nearby to hear them. “this is my first relationship I should be able to shout it from the rooftops, hold your hand when we are off duty, hug you in public.”
He looked steadily into the eyes of his lover. “I can't even hug you as a friend like I can with Madga and Nel because I am scared of betraying my feelings.”
Dreis's expression did not change apart from a slight flicker of sadness in his eyes. “What are you saying Imaraneth.” He stepped a little closer “Do you wish to end this.”
Imaraneth was silent and Nelsara's heart began to hammer in his chest. Had he been leaning too much on Imaraneth about this. “I should let you two talk.” Nelsara tried to move but Imaraneth held his shoulder tight. “No I do not want us to break up. I want us to find a way to be open about this relationship.”
“There is no way. Five tdalk and you have never said anything about it but a couple of months on this planet and you start questioning me.” Dreis was angry and Nelsara was torn between trying to squirm away and wanting to be there for the dragon.
“Nel can you go please. But stay near where I can find you.” Imaraneth whispered. Nelsara nodded and patted the dragons back as he left.
Imaraneth stood close to Dreis he placed his hand gently on Dreis's where it rested on the railing, Dreis pulled his hand away.
“Are you ashamed of me.” Imaraneth whispered clearly hurt.
Dreis face softened. “I'm not, this is just a difficult situation, I want to show people that I care for you but I can't, my job is at stake.”
“Speak to our superiors.” Imaraneth said. “There has bound to be special cases like ours. Our planet lives on belief that who we love is not a choice, surely the fact that we have been together five tdalk stands in our stead. I know they have granted special cases before. It is not some sort of morbid affair.”
Dreis smiled softly “I know. Imaraneth this is...this is your first relationship. Don't drag too much into this.”
Imaraneth snapped to attention. His anger growled in the back of his head but wouldn't let it slip to the surface. “What do you mean drag too much into this. Are we together?”
Dreis hesitated. “Yes.”
“Did we or did we not have sex for the first time last night.”
“Yes.”
“Do you love me.”
Dreis looked at the floor and took Imaraneths hand. “Imaraneth...I care for you a lot.”
“Do you love me?”
“I don't know.”
Imaraneth sighed. “Ok that answers a lot.”
Dreis looked sadly at Imaraneth. “but I do care about you and want to be with you. We may have been together for 5 tdalk but we have only really spent any time together when we arrived here. I could love you, I just don't yet.”
“I love you though.”
Dreis sighed deeply. “I know you do. But thats because I am your first.”
“No I loved you before that.” Imaraneth pressed the bridge of his nose between two fingers in an attempt to stop the tears. “I thought you were kind and loving and all those other things that drew me to you in the first place.” He pulled his hands gently away from between Dreis's fingers. “I cant be with you if there is going to be no future.”
“There is a future for us Neth. Two tdalk and we can tell everyone. We will be on a level footing.”
“Fuck two tdalk I cant do this two days more.” Imaraneth shouted.
“Everything OK.”
Imaraneth turned and saw through the blur Magda standing at the threshold of the balcony. His eyes flitted between Imaraneths bleary eyes and the vice like grip Dreis had on his upper arm. Imaraneth nodded and wrenched his arm from Dreis's grip.
“Its fine Dreis was just giving me some advice on a bad mistake I made years ago.” He stared at Dreis making his feelings clear. “Don't worry it is over with now.”
Dreis tried to take his hand again but Imaraneth shrugged him off. “I'm going back into the party.”
Dreis no longer tried to stop him. Magda looked from one to the other. “OK Neth.”
Nelsara drummed his fingers on the table watching the door nervously for the dragon elf to re appear. He did but rushed past the gathering in a flurry of black and silver robes. Nelsara shouted after him.
“Come on lets go get him.” Detalani whispered.
The dragon elf was flying by the time they got outside. They followed him as best as he could on foot. “Neth come down and speak to me. What happened.”Nelsara shouted and shouted but the dragon didn't stop. He stopped running after him and Detalani slowed to a stop beside him.
“Its my fault I never should have pushed him about it.” Nelsara panted.
“Why what did you do?” Detalani stroked his hair gently.
Before Nelsara could say anything there was a thump in the trees not to far from them. They looked up and Imaraneth was sitting on a branch staring out over the land. No amount of coaxing could get him down so Nelsara girded his loins and began to climb the tree. Detalani tried to pull him back by the tail but he calmed her fears. “We always land on our feet, don't worry.”
He began to regret his decision as he passed the halfway point in the trunk. The vertigo niggled at the back of his brain like an itch but he pressed on wanting to reach the dragon. Then he felt something else. It was like a high pitched whine at first but then he recognised it. It was a more subdued version of the wave that had hit him. He clung on to the trunk waiting for it to get stronger but nothing happened. He proceeded to climb a bit more, suddenly his vision was once again full of bright colours and his head was throbbing. He dug in to the tree trunk for dear life and as an attempt to replace the pain with something else. Then his whole world tipped and he saw no more.
Detalani's bright green eyes greeted him as he awoke. He reached up to touch her hair and winced as his shoulder exploded with pain.
“Oh Nel why are you so silly.” She laughed though it was tinged with concern.
He blinked and tried to move again. His back hurt slightly but not as much as his shoulder. “I suppose that is what I get for not asking the trees permision.” He laughed.
Detalani shook her head. “I don't know what happened. One minute you were climbing fine and the next you froze and slid from the tree. Imaraneth caught you.”
Nelsara looked over his shoulder as far as his sore muscles would let him The dragon was kneeling at his side, the skin around his eyes was swollen with the tears he refused to cry.
“Neth, thank you.” He smiled. “Are you OK?”
Imaraneth nodded. “Nothing to worry about. I'm more worried about you.” He reached out and to Nelsara's shock picked him up with almost not effort.
“Hey I don't need to be carried anywhere.” HE laughed.
“I disagree.” Detalani laughed. “Your shoulder is dislocated. You don't feel it because I have blocked the pain out for you but that won't last for long so lets get going.”
Imaraneth carried him gently all the way back to the hut he shared with Detalani he then rushed off to fetch a healer leaving Nelsara and Detalani alone.
“Didn't you feel it?” He whispered.
“Feel what?” She held Nelsaras hand gently stroking the back of it with one clawed finger.
“There was a huge surge of magic, that's what knocked me off the tree.” He whispered staring deep into her eyes. “Did you not feel anything at all?”
Detalani looked at the floor. “There was a slight disturbance in the air yes but nothing that should have hurt you.” She looked at at him and tightened the grip she had on his hand. “Has it happened before.”
Nelsara nodded and told her about the first time he had experienced the wave of magic. He eyebrows were knitted in concern. “We have to tell Nanda, There seems to be a dangerous leak of magic somewhere or at least something that could become dangerous.”
Nelsara squeezed her hand reassuringly. He jumped, painfully pulling his shoulder as the healer stumbled through the door with Imaraneth, Lórien, and Nanda on his heels.
The healer didn't have too much to do as Imaraneth had already manipulated the joint back into place before Nelsara had woke up. All he could do was lay his hands on the painful muscles and calm them. Even with most of the pain blocked it was still sore. One the doctor had finished Nelsara's back and shoulder only gave off a dull ache. His hands were treated for the cuts and one finger was wrapped in a healing bandage as a pulled claw was better left to heal naturally.
Lórien chastised him for trying to kill himself weeks before his immortality ceremony but the jokes quickly ceased when Nelsara told them why he fell from the tree.
“We will begin looking for this leak. Do you think you can help us locate it. Our strongest healers will accompany you along with Detalani to make sure no more pain is brought on by this leak.”
Nelsara nodded and said that he would help. The sooner they found and stopped the leak the less danger he was in.
Soon it was just Nelsara, Detalani and Lórien in the room. Imaraneth had left despite many attempts to make him stay. Nelsara desperately wanted to know what was wrong with him but there was nothing he could do when he had been confined to bed by the healer. He didn't need to worry long, Dreis appeared in the doorway and politely asked if he could see Nelsara alone. Nelsara had the distinct feeling that he was in trouble as the white dragon sat down regally at his bedside his white hair shining in the dim light.
Dreis looked at him calmy though is yellow eyes burned with hurt.
“Is..is there anything I can do for you?” Nelsara whispered nervously.
Dreis smiled showing his brilliantly white sharp eye teeth. “Yes, with all due respect I think you should stay out of my business.”
Nelsara swallowed hard. “What do you mean.”
“I mean you filling Imaraneths head with your romantic notions. This is real life Nelsara, not everyone can have the fairy tale relationship.”
The dragons voice was level and calm. Nelsara found that infinitely more scary. “I'm sorry Dreis but he was upset, I couldn't understand how he could love you and keep it a secret.”
“But it did work for 5 tdalk, longer than your life so far by a long shot. We were happy.” Dreis rubbed a strong hand through his white hair. “I cared for him, he cared for me and we were happy and because of you that is no longer the case. You put these notions into his head of how relationships should be and now he doesn't want something that was good.”
“How can he have been truly happy if he ended it that quickly.” Nelsara whispered. “He talked to me, he told me that he loved you but felt you were ashamed of him, like he was a dirty secret.”
“He didn't did he?” Dreis said half to himself “but why would he think that?” Dreis shook his head. “I always told him how much I cared for him, I always made sure to give him kisses and hugs whenever we were alone. Why can't he have been happy with that. I am”
Nelsara smiled sadly. “I don't know I just know he wasn't.” He couldn't shake the guilt. He could tell that Dreis cared for Imaraneth. “He didn't say he was breaking up with you though. Go speak to him.”
“With all due respect I am not here for your advice. I just came here to tell you to stop interfering.”
“But why won't you even entertain the idea of speaking to your superiors about your relationship.” Nelsara spoke up finding his voice. “Don't you see how this would help.”
“This was never anything serious. In the five tdalk we were together we were always free to see other people. We both agreed. We never mentioned anything about love until you started speaking to him.”
“Maybe he wants more now.”
Dreis leaned in close enough for Nelsara to see the slight creases around his eyes. “How old do you think I am?”
“Um 25.” Nelsara whispered a little confused.
“No I am 32. And in that short space of life I have had two relationships including this mess with Imaraneth. Before him I was married. My husband died six tdalk ago. There was only 15 cycles between his death and Imaraneth and I having our first kiss.” Dreis didn't take his eyes off of Nelsara's “Thats why I cannot love him or make this any more serious than what it is. So its up to him, we can stay together as we are or we can go our separate ways.”
Nelsara's heart was hammering in his chest. “Ok Dreis I'm sorry.”
Dreis sat back. “You could have just ended the best thing in my life. I may not have loved him in the way you expect thanks to all your romantic stories but I did care for him a lot. I imagine you will hear from Imaraneth in either case.”
Dreis got up and left. Nelsara stared after him unsure of what to say. Detalani slipped into the bedroom in his wake. She offered a greeting to Dreis but the white dragon ignored her.
“What's wrong with him?” She smiled but her smile quickly fell when she saw Nelsara's face. “What's up?” She whispered and slid onto the bed next to him. Nelsara took a deep a breath and filled her in on what had happened with Imaraneth and Dreis. Detalani sat quietly after he had finished talking.
“I understand that you wanted to help him but not every planet works the same. The Maspathe may be very relaxed when it comes to love and relationships but when that crosses into the territory of the army then I'm afraid the army wins.” She twiddled a curl of red hair around her finger making her look a lot younger than she actually was. “Even soldiers of the same rank find difficulty holding a relationship. They are not split up or nothing but they are advised against it. Often one will leave the army out of their own free will so they can continue to be together. In Imaraneth's case he is in very dangerous territory. If Magda was to find out....”
She paused and glanced toward the window, It was dark outside now and little glowing stones which stored the suns power all day outlined the paths. She turned to Nelsara again. “Just let them sort it out themselves. I've known Dreis since he was 20 he is not heartless, he is just...torn. There's a lot of things he needs to sort out before he can ever hope to hold down a relationship.”
Nelsara nodded thoughtfully, “He told me about his husband.”
Detalani smiled sadly. “That was an awful day. They were both so young. Only married for a tdalk. Dreis was different then. He was young, happy and so much in love.”
She paused and picked ineffectually at the bedspread. “His name was Valyan and he was a doctor. I think he and Dreis were at school together, then one went to the army and the other to university but they stayed in touch. They got together when they were quite young and stayed together.”
Nelsara waited patiently for her to continue. He reached out and patted her arm. “You don't have to continue.” He whispered.
“No its fine its not my tragedy. It just makes me think you know. People always think that being immortal is great but think of what you are giving up. I don't mean born immortals I mean Inaspri, those who leave the mortal coil leave all those mortals that they loved behind, like my father did. Like you are going to do.”
“I already have no one remember. All I have is you.” He whispered.
“And lórien and Imaraneth and my family.” Detalani smiled at him. “But you know what I mean. I have seen people who are middle aged mortals with children and full families who suddenly decide they want to be immortal, they are so scared of death that they try anything to escape it. But do they escape it no no. they have to watch all those mortals they cared about die, they see death so much more than anyone else and each death takes a little bit from them.”
She held is hand as tight as she could without damaging his sore finger further. “I know your case is different, you have no mortal family but think of this. You will live naturally forever as will I only ageing a little bit every millennia but Imaraneth won't and other friends you find will not last the time either. I will be here for you for every one of those pains as my family was for me. But this is the price we pay. Immortality isn't an escape from death, its us turning to look it right in the face.”
Nelsara listened to her carefully, how long had this been on her mind? “Detalani, I still want this. I have thought lots and lots about this and I know I will witness the death of many but I get to stay with you forever.”
“Yes you do.” She smiled. “But that shouldn't be your only reason. I know in your case it isn't your only reason. Thats why I spoke on your behalf as did Lórien.”
Nelsara nodded and slipped his arm around her. She leaned against him and gave him a quick kiss.
“What happened to Dreis's husband?” He asked quietly wanting to change the subject. He squeezed her to him.
“He died of cancer.” She whispered. “He was diagnosed two cycles after they were married and he clung on for 18 more. He got it in his wings first which were removed. After that he was clear for about four cycles. But then he got ill again and this time they could not remove the cancer. All their medicine and Dreis and Valyan still have to suffer like that. When he deemed he was too ill and in too much pain to carry on he chose to die. Dreis was with him through everything, he looked after him, held his hand through all the pain, and generally bolstered him and loved him. After Vaylans death he was broken. He knew for half a cycle that he would soon die but it still never prepared him.”
“That's....that's heartbreaking.” Nelsara whispered. “No wonder he is holding Imaraneth at arms length. He doesn't want to get hurt again.”
“Its only been what..six tdalk he must still be hurting.” Detalani whispered sadly.
They sat in silence listening to the chirruping of crickets and other creatures.
“Its not your fault you know.” Detalani's voice rang loudly though she whispered.
Nelsara nodded. “I know but it sure feels like it.”

Detalani had been asleep for a short while but Nelsara sat awake partly because of the pain in his shoulder and hand and partly because for the first time in years he was thinking about that day when his family died. Even this far down the line it still hurt and he supposed that would never leave him the same way that the death of Dreis's husband would never leave his memories. What Detalani had said was playing on his mind, why was he choosing to be immortal. Was it because of her? Or was it something infinitely more dark. Was he running from the memories of his short mortal life. Should he fold himself back into the society of his birth and become a fully functioning member of it? Go back to school and get qualifications, marry a nice Ferionite woman and have kids? Live out his days in a world where elves, dragons and fairies only occupy stories for children and the dreams that adults would never admit to? He couldn't do that now. He had been shown a little bit of this world where magic stretched far beyond lighting a fire without a match and he wanted to know more. Yes he might be running from the mess he had left behind him on Ferion but he was running towards something infinitely more interesting and important.
Detalani stirred slightly but didn't wake up. He looked down at her and smiled. He loved her deeply and there was no way that any other woman would make him feel the same way. But he knew deep down that that wasn't the only reason. He wanted to do something important with his life and why else had he been given this odd sensitivity to magic if it wasn't to help the immortals find the gaurdians. He had to be immortal so he was around to help them as much as possible. With his head sorted out he wriggled down into the sheets and tried to sleep.

The next day Imaraneth came round to see Nelsara thinking that he wouldn't be running that morning due to his injuries. Nelsara was sitting eating breakfast when Detalani led the dragon into the small cottage. Nelsara greeted him warmly batting away any concerns about his injuries to find out what had happened between the two dragons.
“He left this morning.” Imaraneth sighed. “We decided that we were better being apart. We both want different things from a relationship.”
“But how can he leave? Isn't he in charge of this whole search.”
Imaraneth shook his head. “Both he and Magda were. He sorted it out yesterday before I had even spoke to him. What I said to him was just an extra push.”
Nelsara nodded thoughtfully and hugged the dragon as best he could. “Are you OK.”
Imaraneth nodded and sat down when Detalani offered him a chair. “It just feels odd. I've been with him so long but we were never really close. Coming here was the first time we actually slept in the same bed.” He gratefully accepted a cup of herbal tea when Detalani poured it. “I miss him, I will miss having him around me even if we didn't spend a lot of time together but hopefully we will both be happier.”
Imaraneth's mood quickly picked up. He kept to the same routine and Nelsara joined back in with him after a full days rest. He spent more time with Nelsara now or with Detalani. He seemed shy with others in the settlement. Magda took over in Dries's stead and the investigation into the holy texts carried on as normal with some of the group diverting some of their time to finding the leak along with Nelsara and Detalani. Everyone, including Magda had been told that Dreis had urgent business to attend to back on his home planet and this was partly true with his sister recently going into labour with twins. In fact he had already planned to leave but had left a day late so he could talk with Imaraneth. Not to finish with him but just to talk to clear up a few things but due to the what Imaraneth had said he could not leave the younger man hanging.
A mood of excitement and celebration gripped the settlement, indeed every settlement on the small planet, as the midwinter festival approached. Nelsara felt this excitement better than anyone else as the date for his immortality ceremony approached but not only that, he was edging ever close to losing his virginity. And as much as he looked forward to it the closer the day got the more he worried about it.