The Possessor

Jake

Mate? Did he just say mate? I open my mouth, ready to ask him a question, but the look on his face makes me stop. I wait, and after a moment he speaks.

“I’ve known since the beginning of the school year.” he says. “My Possessor confirms it. I knew when I smelled you.” he smiles strangely at that and closes his eyes. “I’m not attracted to guys, Jake. I’m straight. So when this started happening, I wanted to ignore it.” he sighs. “I don’t want to be attracted to you.”

I feel like someone’s just punched me in the stomach. I want to get up and walk away, but I can’t seem tog et my body to do what my brain is telling it.

“If it was just the mating thing, I don’t think I would’ve put it off for this long.” he admits to me. “I mean, if it was just a set up where we would fuck and then that would be the end of it, I think I would’ve swallowed my pride by now and tried to get you into bed.” he sighs. “But I’m starting to wonder if that’s it anymore.”

I want to ask him what he means, what he’s talking about. I want to punch him in the face. I want to do a lot of things. I don’t do anything, though. I just sit there and stare at him.

“My Possessor wants to mate with you.” he says. “I… I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if it even matters what I want. I’ve never…” he shakes his head and finally meets my eyes. “If it was just mating, would I care how you felt about it?” he asks me. “Would it matter if I hurt your feelings?”

I open my mouth, but he talks over me. “I’m so confused.” he whispers, and puts his head in his hands. “I thought it would be best to just… you know, to just see how things went. To get to know you. But I’m realizing pretty quickly, that what my brain wants and what my Possessor wants aren’t going to match up, and right now, I don’t have a lot of control over myself.” he looks away. “I’ve never been like this before. All I can think about lately is having sex with you, and I-” I must’ve made a sound or something, because he stops and looks at me, frowning. “Jake?”

My body gets with the program and I stand up. “Fox told you.” I say, not really sure what I’m going to do but letting my mouth run anyway. Dominic sighs and nods his head.

“He told me how you feel about me.” he said. “That’s why I-”

“And you’re sitting here telling me that you don’t like me, after practically eating my face?” I ask him. He surprises me by chuckling softly. “You’re a jerk.”

“That’s my point.” he says, sobering again. “I don’t want to do that to you.”

“No, just your Possessor.” I say, and he sighs and gives me a look that suggests I’m not listening. “I should, you know.” I say, and he raises his eyebrows at me. “I should sleep with you, just to get it out of my system.”

“Jake, I don’t want-”

“I know.” I cut in, and he makes a growling sound and throws his hands in the air. “Stop saying it. Hearing it once was bad enough.”

“Would you shut up and hear me out?” he snaps at me, and I glare at him. “Goddamn, you’ve got a serious motor mouth.” he mutters. He reaches out, grabbing me by the wrists, and makes me sit down on the bed beside him. “I need you to fucking listen to me for a second.”

“I did-”

“No, you didn’t.” he snaps. “Shut up and listen.” I shut my mouth, and he waits until he’s sure I won’t talk again. “My Possessor wants to mate with you. Which means that my body wants that, too. I mentioned your smell? It’s like drugs, Jake. The first time I noticed it I actually thought I was going to cream my jeans right then and there.” he looks startled and I shrug. “I’ve been putting it off for this long because at first, I was scared of the idea of being with a guy. Then, when my brain started to figure that out, I realized I was worried about using someone. Now Fox tells me how you feel, and that’s like this huge guilt trip on my shoulders. But if it was just the Possessor stuff, if it was just mating, I wouldn’t feel guilty. I’d just get you to fuck me and then-”

“What?” I squeak, and he stops, tilting his head.

“You would have to…” he trails off at the look on my face and half smiles. “Have you never topped before? I thought you were gay.”

“I’m a virgin.” I tell him, and the look on his face scares me a little. It’s flat-out predatory.

“That’s what that taste was.” he mumbles, and closes his eyes. “God, you’re making this a lot harder on me.”

I flush furiously and look away from him. “You were talking about feeling guilty.” I remind him.

After a long silence he says, “I wanted to go slow with you.” he says. “I wanted you to feel like I cared about you before we… you know.”

“You wanted to lie.” I say, and he glares at me. “Isn’t that what that is? Lying?”

“I don’t know.” he says honestly. “I know someone who has a Possessor, that’s mated to her husband. It works out well, but not all of us are like that. Lots of the mates our Possessors find are just… one night stands. I didn’t want to do that to you, especially not after finding out how you feel.”

“So what?” I ask him. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know.” he says, and shakes his head. “I mean, I know what I want from you, I just don’t know how we should go about this.” he sighs. “I don’t want to hurt you, Jake. You seem like a really sweet guy.”

I snort. “Thanks.” I tell him sarcastically. “That’s gonna get me real far.”

“It’s going to get you into bed with me.” he points out, and my mouth goes dry. “You want that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” I snap at him.

“So what should we do?” he asks me, raising his eyebrows. “How should we approach this?”

I think about it for a very long time. The idea of getting to nail Dominic is probably the greatest thing in the world to me right now, and the fact that he’s sitting here, worried about my feelings is pretty sweet of him. I’m not stupid enough to believe that means he’d be willing to get into a relationship with me, but do I really want to pass up the chance to have sex with him? After all these years?

“I’m not saying I don’t have a problem with being a one-night mate.” I tell him, and he nods. “But I understand your concern. You being straight and all-”

“Maybe.” he says, and I stop. “Maybe I’m not straight. I mean, I feel… different about you. It’s not just a ‘lets-get-it-on’ physical reaction. I don’t just want to screw and leave. I mean, I think about touching you, and learning what you feel like and taste like, and I-”

“Okay, stop.” I hold up my hand and he stops, grinning softly. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“You like it.” he says, and I glare at him.

“Not the point right now.” he shrugs and then nods. “So, what are you saying? You think you might be gay for me?”

“Maybe.” he mutters. “Maybe not. I don’t know.”

“Would you be willing to find out?” I ask him, and he looks at me, curious. “Would you be willing to date, see what happens, how you feel?”

He thinks about it for a very long time, his eyebrows furrowed and his bottom lip caught between his teeth, making me a little light headed. “Yes.” he says finally, and I let out breath I wasn’t aware I was holding. “I could try.” he says.

“Okay.” I nod my head, and he reaches out and touches my hand. I lace our fingers together and give his hand a squeeze. “That’s good. But there’s a little snag.”

“What’s that?” he asks.

“How can I be sure you aren’t just faking it until I sleep with you?”

He thinks about this. “Trust me?” he suggests, and I quirk an eyebrow at him. “Okay…”

“How about we just get the mating part out of the way?” I suggest, and his entire body twitches. He looks at me, astounded and I shrug. “Well, why not?” I ask. “Your Possessor would be happy, I wouldn’t consider you having ulterior motives, and that way when you figure out how you feel, you know it’s not because of anything other than you.”

He stares at me. “You’re suggesting,” he says slowly, “That we fuck first, date later?”

“Well…” I look at him carefully. “Honestly, Dominic, I’ve had a thing for you since I started to have a thing for people. That kiss you planted on me? My first one.”

“You’re talking about losing your virginity…” he trailed off, swallowing thickly before continuing. “…the same day you get your first kiss.”

“I know, slutty.” I toss myself back on the bed, my hands behind my head. “I just…. This is not how I always envisioned this, you know.”

“How did you envision it?” he asks me, half laying back on his elbows.

I shake my head at him. “It doesn’t matter.” I mutter. “What matters is figuring out what we’re going to do.”

“You’re disappointed.” he says, in an observational sort of way. His hand rests on my stomach, just above my belt buckle, and my muscles clench at the touch. “You wanted something more…” he searches for a word, then finally shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I stare up at the ceiling. “You’re here, aren’t you? That’s more than I ever expected.” the conversation with my mother pops into my head and I laugh softly. “Wow.”

“Hmm?” he lays down fully beside me, on his side facing me, his head pillowed on his forearm. His other hand is still on my stomach.

“My mother talked to me last night about Possessor mates.” I say, and he looks at me as though I’ve grown another head. “She knows how I feel about you.”

“Your mom is aware that you’re gay?” he asks me, and I nod. “How the hell did that come up?”

“Oh, she’s always known, ever since I have.” he’s still staring at me strangely. “My mom and I are really close. She knows all about you. She actually mentioned that she was concerned about the mating thing.”

Dominic sits up. “Your mom told you that she was worried we’d mate?”

“No.” I say. “She was worried that even if you ever noticed me, you’d find a different mate.” I smile. “Funny how that turned out, huh?”

Dominic nods slowly. “Yea, funny.” he whispers, and I sit up and touch his arm. “I’m sorry, I’m just…” he trails off, then frowns. “This is so weird.”

“What is? Being here? Talking to me?” I ask, worried.

He shakes his head no, then nods yes. Then he shrugs. “I don’t know.” he admits finally, and I laugh, unable to help myself.

“Come here.” I say, pulling him back again. He lays down and I lay beside him, my chin on the palm of my hand, my elbow on the bed. “We have to get to know each other.”

“I know a lot about you already.” he tells me, not meeting my eyes. “Stuff you like, things you do. When I found out you were my Possessor’s mate, I started to… uh, follow you, kind of.” he flushes at this admittance and I find myself leaning down to press a quick kiss to his cheek. He looks at me, startled, and I grin.

“Weirdly enough, that’s sort of cute.” I grin at him. “And since we’re being honest, I know a lot about you already.”

“Oh really?” he smiles up at me. “What kind of things do you know about me?”

I think for a moment before speaking. “You love Thai food. Seafood stuff, scallops. You listen to Coheed and Cambria a lot. I mean, a lot. You read novels, but you like comics. Weird ones, too. You hate having your picture taken. You like foreign films, especially if they’re in Russian, for some reason. You’re great at math, not so good with computers, though. Your favorite color is green. Dark greens. You like fantastic in that button up short sleeved shirt you got for Christmas. The one with the cross on the back.”

He raises his eyebrows at me. “I’m assuming you know I got that for Christmas because of the timing.”

“Of course.”

“What do you know about Possessors?” he asks.

“Not much.” I admit. “A lot of what I’ve read has been confusing.”

“You’re going to have to learn about them, if this is going to work.” he pauses, then adds. “This is sort of like being in a relationship with two different people, Jake.”

I nod slowly. “Okay. Will you teach me?”

“If you want.”

“I want to know everything about you.” I admit, and he smiles. I reach out, and very gently touch the crystal around his neck. It warms against my fingertips, and he sighs and closes his eyes as something almost invisible slides out of it and wraps around my index finger. That cool steam feeling again, and I realize that Dominic is panting. “Are you okay?” I ask him, taking my hand back. It takes some effort; the Possessor wants to hold on to my finger.

“No.” he says, and opens his eyes. “I feel what it feels, and vice versa.” he glances away from me and says quietly, “That feel really good.”

I’m surprised by this. “Like… sexual good?” I ask, and he flushes and nods. “Touching your necklace-”

“No one’s ever touched it.” he says. “I don’t let them.”

“Thank you for letting me.” I say, and he meets me eyes again. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it and simply nods. “You never answered me.” I remind him, and he looks confused. “About getting the mating out of the way.”

He thinks about this, then sighs. “I’d honestly rather wait.” he says. “It feels wrong somehow, to take advantage of you like that.”

“I thought you’d be bottom.”

He smirks. “Well, there’s that, too. I’ve never done that before.”

“Me either.”

“Can we just talk for now?” he asks, and I nod. “Good. Just… come here. He takes my upper arms in his hands and pulls me until I lay down half on top of him. He loops one arm around my waist and smiles. “My Possessor and my lower brain functions have been wanting to touch you for months. You’re going to have to let me indulge a little bit.”

“Indulge all you want.” I tell him. “I’ve wanted you to touch me for years.”

He closes his eyes and pulls until I rest my head on his chest. “Let’s just lay here.” he says softly. “Can we?”

“Sure.” I feel that cool, slithering feeling against my cheek and close my eyes. Both of his hands were on my back, one between my shoulder blades, the other on the small of my back, but that third touch, the Possessor, against my cheek, made me feel… complete?

Confused, content, and a little scared, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed a dream come true.