Get over it

Thank you for the reviews again. ^_^ I will try my best to write more. I am so addicted to writing this story. I hope you'll like this chapter. I had steam coming out from my ears by the end of it, so there is a definite NC-17 warning here!

Oh and I uploaded a new image of them to my DA also: http://zardra.deviantart.com/art/Look-a-camera-pose-149668351

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CHAPTER 4
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Gabriel was watching Jesse’s peaceful face. The tension that was normally always there when the man was awake, was now gone. He stroked the blond’s cheek and Jesse let out a low noise, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. Gabriel felt giddy. He would have loved to jump up and scream and run around the apartment but that would wake Jesse up and he wanted to be next to him when the man would finally wake. He made a little dance of victory inside his mind.

Jesse had suddenly fallen asleep almost in the middle of them making out. Gabriel would have been hurt if he hadn’t just gotten final evidence that Jesse hadn’t slept well last night because he had been afraid he had lost Gabriel. Not to mention that he trusted Gabriel enough to sleep in his company.

And Gabriel wanted to make sure Jesse would see him when he woke up, because he had no intention of leaving anymore, not now that he knew how Jesse felt. He shook his head to silence the laughter that threatened to rip out of his throat, he was so happy it was difficult to stay silent. Gabriel had not needed words from Jesse. Words weren’t as strong as the emotions he had seen on Jesse’s face and the way he had touched him, kissed him. The man was his. He started to realize that this dream might come true after all, even when just a few hours ago it had felt completely hopeless.

He had waited for this to happen, hoped for this to happen, for months. He had been almost sure it would actually never come true, never really happen. But he had not been able to help himself, ever since he had fallen in love with this grumpy, straight guy who he wanted to have and who was so so difficult but… he knew they belonged together, somewhere deep inside him he felt such a pull towards the other man that no reason could come between them, nothing.

Things hadn’t gone the way he had planned. Nothing he did was taken as he had meant and last night had been a catastrophe, but this. Right now. He felt perfect. The man in his arms was perfect. The feeling was perfect. And Jesse wasn’t running away. He slept peacefully, his arm draped above his face and the other one gently leaning on Gabriel’s loin.

He watched Jesse’s face and kept hoping the man would open his eyes, he had the most beautiful, bright blue eyes. And before this day he had rarely seen them turn so warm, just for brief moments that Jesse denied right afterwards. Today he had looked straight into those blue eyes and seen no trace of coldness in there. There had been panic, fear and yearning, but those he could handle, those were things they could talk about. He really wanted to know what had made Jesse the man he was today. What had caused him to deny what he was, what he really wanted or needed? Why was he so closed up and angry all the time? There had to be a reason.

Gabriel felt a wave of anger and protectiveness. He didn’t want anyone to hurt Jesse again. He wanted to make the man happy, to bring him nothing but good things. He wished he could do that, but he knew also that there would be fights, hard times and bad words ahead. It wouldn’t go as well as he hoped, because this was Jesse. He wasn’t a simple man, so life with him sure wouldn’t be simple either. But he was ready for anything. He smiled smugly.

And just then he felt Jesse’s hand move from his loin to his backside. The hand ventured down and then back up, again over his backside and finally squeezed it. Jesse moaned in his sleep and Gabriel really had to fight not to burst laughing.

Suddenly he was staring into the blue eyes he had just hoped he could see. For a little while he could see confusion in them. Then a sharp hint of panic. And then Jesse’s eyes softened and his face relaxed again. He was almost smiling, he could see it reach Jesse’s eyes. He smiled back and nudged Jesse’s nose with his own. Jesse chuckled, softly. It was a completely different sound than his normal cold and hard laughs.

Jesse’s hand had not stopped. It was now stroking Gabriel’s back, stopping on the hem of his trousers every once in a while. His shirt had climbed up his back and stomach and Jesse brushed over the naked skin over and over. He hummed and stretched and Gabriel moved slightly. He had been afraid to move while Jesse had been sleeping and his limbs had been starting to get a little numb.
“How long was I out of it?” Jesse asked, his voice rough with sleep. Gabriel smiled.
“I have no idea. I don’t have a watch and I didn’t want to look at anything but your face.”

Jesse looked slightly embarrassed. Gabriel could see he was having an inward fight about something. He didn’t know what to say back but at the same time Gabriel saw that he was still happy. Jesse’s hand started to move again, this time fingers pushing under the hem of his trousers. Gabriel lifted an eyebrow. Jesse answered him with a serious face. Gabriel couldn’t help it; he was getting hard awfully fast. And Jesse noticed it too, no wonder since Gabriel was basically laying on top of him, his other leg stretched between Jesse’s and his hips leaning against Jesse’s. But Jesse was reaction to him too, he could feel how Jesse’s member hardened against his leg.

Gabriel hadn’t planned this. He hadn’t dared to hope for this. Not that he hadn’t fantasized of this multiple times while jerking off, but he hadn’t actually thought they would end up doing more than talking and maybe kissing today. He wasn’t a virgin and having the man of his dreams in his arms didn’t make it easy to slow things down, he wanted Jesse so badly that it hurt. But he didn’t know if this was the best decision. What if Jesse would get up after sex and pretend that he felt nothing? Jesse would feel worse than ever and Gabriel would be hurt. But then again, he knew what Jesse really felt so he could talk Jesse out of it. But it would be easier to talk about stuff now than to leap straight into sex and worry about stuff later on.

But it was so damn hard to even think about stopping Jesse when his hand ventured deeper into Gabriel’s pants and massaged his backside, slipping between his buttocks and stroking him there. Gabriel moaned and his eyes threatened to close. He bit his lip and groaned with the effort of saying the words he had to say.
“Wait.” he whispered and Jesse’s hand stopped immediately. He looked down at the blond and found him looking back, confused and slightly hurt. He smiled apolitically.
“You have no idea how much I want to let you continue that but-“
“… But?” Jesse asked but pulled his hand away from his trousers. Gabriel sighed from relief when the hand still lay against his back, he had been worried that the stop would close Jesse down and in worst case he would retreat and deny everything.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” Jesse asked with laughter in his eyes. Gabriel snorted. “Not for the last ten years, no.”
“That’s good.”
“But in the risk of sounding like a complete idiot, I think we need to wait.”
Jesse frowned. In his ears that did sound completely idiotic. Gabriel had come to him and confessed his love and now he wanted to Wait? “Wait for what?”
“Until we can make love, not screw like rabbits.” Gabriel answered, rubbing at his face. He felt so stupid, saying that aloud.

Jesse blinked. He didn’t really know what to say back to that. Make love? The blond lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. Until now he hadn’t even thought of that. He had never felt like he had made love, sex was sex, it felt good, it brought two persons closer and- well, it felt good. Though now that he looked at Gabriel, he felt a little nervous. Like with this guy it would be his first time. Making love. He knew what he was supposed to do and he knew he could do it well, but with Gabriel he was pretty sure that awesome physical skills in bed wouldn’t matter anything. For Gabriel it would mean something completely different.

Making love. They would make love. They were in love and they would make love.

The thought made Jesse’s head spin. He knew he was making a weird face but couldn’t help it. He was just so surprised by this sudden realization. Gabriel sighed deeply, worried of Jesse’s silence.
“I know you’re great in bed. Everyone who has had the opportunity to try you, have said so.”

Jesse was staring at Gabriel’s shoulder intently and finally said, very quietly. “I think I know what you mean with the whole... making love thing.”
Gabriel nodded though he wasn’t sure if Jesse saw the movement. The dark man whispered quietly, close to Jesse’s ear. “I want us to be able to make love. And I want to fall asleep holding you, you holding me back.”
Now Jesse turned to look at him from under his brows and Gabriel rolled his eyes.
“Yeah yeah, I know I sound cheeky. So fucking what? I can sound cheeky when I want to.” he laughed and Jesse chuckled back nervously.
“And so can you.” Gabriel added and Jesse’s look turned doubting. “I don’t know if I- uh, I don’t know if I can… or know how to.” he kept a long pause and Gabriel didn’t want to interrupt his thoughts. “I’m so used to locking everything I want away that I don’t know what to do or to say. I don’t even know what I really feel like about stuff because I always just… follow the norm. Fucked up, isn’t it?” Jesse sighed but didn’t try to laugh his cold laugh that usually followed his confessions.

Gabriel just nodded back. “Well, we’re in no hurry with anything.”
Jesse smiled back cheekily. “What if I get so fucking horny that I try to dryhump you?”
“Ummm… do we have to worry about that right now?” Gabriel answered, almost laughing.
“I’m not far from that.” Jesse confessed but grinned to relax the moment. Sex he could joke about but everything else would be hard to bring up. Gabriel seemed to know that too because he changed the subject quickly.

“I want to be with you.”

His words stunned Jesse silent once again. He just couldn’t understand how someone could be so open about his feelings and what he wanted and just say them aloud so easily? Especially in a situation like this. They were both men, their relationship would never be accepted by everyone. Then he thought of it from another angle. Would he care? What if he would be happy? Happy for the first time in his life. He wanted to be with Gabriel so what would it matter what others thought? Their acceptance had never brought him happiness.

“Fuck, that sounded like a proposal.” he chuckled nervously to ease the serious mood. His hand twitched on Gabriel’s back and moved closer to his side. He couldn’t quite look at Gabriel when he said his reply quietly. “But I wanna be with you too.”

Gabriel stared at him with wide eyes. First Jesse compared this to a proposal and then followed with that? He wanted to answer with something witty but couldn’t come up with anything. He felt that bubbly happiness jump inside him again. He couldn’t believe this was real!
“Are you serious?” he asked without thinking what he was saying. Jesse glared at him. “You’re the one who said it first.” he almost spat out, defensively. Gabriel started to explain himself hurriedly “No, I know, I just- you – I thought you’d never- I… uhhh… you surprised me.” He sighed and smiled sheepishly. “I mean, thank you.”
Jesse chuckled back. “I thought you were the one with words.”
“You do this to me.” Gabriel defended himself and almost blushed. Jesse looked slightly smug and Gabriel laughed with relief.

“I have a big risk on getting hurt in this too, you know. Being with a straight man…”
Gabriel finally said quietly. His words surprised Jesse, who had always talked himself into believing that he really was straight, even when he was in an obvious relationship with a man years ago. It had just been sex. Or so he had told himself. But he knew that if he wanted to be with Gabriel, he could no longer hide what he was. Gabriel didn’t hide his identity. But at the same time Jesse knew that nobody was disgusted with the tall man, even when every one of their close friends seemed to know he was gay. Would it be that horrible? But he was afraid. There were so many things he would have to face. So many things…

Jesse studied Gabriel’s face slowly his hand moved to touch the dark mans features. He stroked his rough, unshaven chin and moved his thumb over his eyebrow, studying him. Gabriel closed his eyes and breathed deep, enjoying every little touch.
“But you can always return to your life and you still have everything there, unchanged. Whereas for me… everything’s gonna change.” Jesse whispered. His heart started to beat faster and suddenly he felt a horrible clutch of fear inside himself. His eyes widened slightly and Gabriel, who had opened his eyes again, nervous with the tone of Jesse's voice, frowned. He could see the sudden anxiety in Jesse’s eyes. The blond laughed really nervously.
“My family is probably going to abandon me and I’m afraid that my brother-“ his voice choked “- is gonna kill me.” he shut his mouth and turned his face away until Gabriel sighed deeply.

Jesse’s thoughts were running fast in his mind and the panic was rising. All kinds of horror images hit his imagination. What if something horrible would happen? Could he trust Gabriel? What if he would leave? What if he would be a jerk and drive Gabriel away? What if his brother hurt Gabriel?

Gabriel stared at him as the emotions flashed on Jesse’s face again and panic took him over completely. His blue eyes widened and his breathing turned shallow and quick.
“Are you okay?” Gabriel asked worriedly, what felt like the tenth time.
Jesse nodded back so furiously that Gabriel seemed a bit taken back. Jesse laughed slightly, nervously, breathed quickly and then laughed again. He knew he sounded panicky. His hands were moving on their own accord, pulling back, trying to find the blanket, suddenly afraid to touch Gabriel.

“I am so fucking scared.” he said hysterically, unable to stop himself and laughed more until Gabriel’s hand was on his cheek once again. It calmed his breathing and then he leaned against the touch and breathed deep. Gabriel looked at him with patience. In all truth he was scared too, more than ever maybe. Because he really wanted this.

Jesse blew air out of his mouth and snapped his fingers several times to distance himself from the fear that wanted to consume him.
“I’m kind of digesting all of this... it’s a lot to handle.” he was desperate “I mean, when I called you this morning I had no idea what I really wanted, all I knew, was that I couldn’t let you go. But now- you can see how screwed up I am, so I hope you’re ready to handle the damage.” he chuckled, closed his eyes and kept talking with a low quick voice, not really even knowing what he was just about to say, just spilling things out without thinking. “And if you sounded cheeky, take this: Don’t you dare to break my heart.”

His heart was racing as he waited for a reply and finally when nothing happened, he had to open his eyes and glance at Gabriel, his heart was still thrumming painfully. Slowly the tall man opened his mouth, looking stunned, once again. His eyes were gleaming. “Holy shit Jesse.” he whispered, his free hand suddenly venturing across Jesse’s chest on top of his heart “I promise.”
He was almost smiling that same incredible smile again “Trust me.”

Jesse stared a moment more and then nodded. Suddenly he felt a lot better. The hand on his heart seemed to slow his rhythm to normal and he breathed deep, trying to pull Gabriel closer with only his eyes. The man seemed to get the message, because he leaned closer, taking Jesse’s face into his hands and kissed him deeply. And soon the kiss just turned deeper. Their bodies pressed against each other tighter. Jesse moaned and this time the fear was nowhere to disturb them.

Gabriel pulled himself closer, setting himself between Jesse’s legs. And as threatening and submissive Jesse had always thought this position was, now it didn’t bother him at all, it brought Gabriel closer to him and that was all that mattered. Jesse’s hands stroked Gabriel’s sides and his neck and his black hair. And he whimpered.

Thoughts of his family and his brother ran through his mind still but now they were blurry images. The threatening memory of his brother seemed very far away. Suddenly, now that he really thought of it, the horrible fear he felt for his brother made no sense. Janne was married and had nothing to do with his life. He could ignore his brother. And if he did get violent against him, again, he was now taller and wider than his brother. Why was he so afraid? He felt anger towards his brother and himself. Why had he never thought about this?

The anger made him growl and Gabriel pulled a little further away to look at his face. He looked at Gabriel’s studious face right in front of him and suddenly his heart was racing in a completely new way and he felt like a flaming musical star, wanting to yell out everything he had been suppressing so long inside himself that the pain had become a part of him. And oh gods he wanted to keep on kissing Gabriel. And do a lot of other stuff too! He felt Gabriel’s soft touch on his neck as the man caressed him carefully and it sent hot sparkles all around his body and a flood of heat made everything between his legs feel like he wouldn’t be able to stand it much longer.

He lifted his hips against Gabriel’s without even realizing he had moved. Gabriel’s eyes seemed to widen for a short while and then he leaned closer and was suddenly so close their noses were almost brushing. His other hand cupped Jesse’s cheek and Jesse’s hands ventured carefully towards Gabriel’s lower back again. Jesse turned his head slightly and Gabriel did the same to the opposite side. They were still looking at each other from under half closed lids.

And then Jesse leaned up and their lips touched. He felt Gabriel’s lips part for him and hungrily delved deeper, his tongue brushing past the warm, soft lips into Gabriel’s inviting mouth. Their tongues met and Jesse’s eyes slid shut. His body moved on it’s own accord, getting closer, grounding against Gabriel once, twice, over and over. Gabriel started to move against him so their bodies rubbed against each other. Jesse moaned. The kiss was incredibly deep and passionate and made Jesse’s heart beat painfully fast. His head was spinning and everything he had feared suddenly felt very irrelevant. Oh gods he would get to kiss these lips again and again and this strong body against his was-

And then he remembered Gabriel saying that he didn’t want them to have sex until he knew how to make love. What the hell had that meant? Did it mean that Gabriel would stop him every time he tried to go further than kissing? That would drive him completely mad!

“Ummm, what did you-“ he tried to mumble between kisses “-mean when you-“ he kissed Gabriel who made a questioning voice somewhere along the kiss as their tongues slid against each other. Gabriel’s hand was creeping inside Jesse’s shirt and the man was starting to get really frustrated. If he would stop now…

His whole body prickled from the touch. Gabriel made a sound but didn’t answer. He kept kissing Jesse until he suddenly moved to nibble at his neck and Jesse lifted his head to give him more room.
“I’m just- uh… If you’re gonna stop again, please don’t tease me any further.” Jesse pleaded, even when his body seemed to feel something entirely different from stopping. His hand rose to stroke Gabriel’s arm and pull him closer. “If you continue, I won’t be able to stop anymore.”

Gabriel lifted his face from the crook of Jesse's neck. “What are you talking about?”
“You said we couldn’t have sex until that whole lovemaking thing.” Jesse answered, seemingly impatient and even slightly angry. Even the slight touches had gotten him to harden horribly uncomfortably and it got him irritated to think that suddenly it would just stop again.
“Well, so far we’ve been approaching the lovemaking zone just fine” Gabriel suddenly said and Jesse frowned.
“Oh… but if we stop approaching it, then you’ll just stop?” he asked, confused.
“No, I have no intention of stopping anymore.” he sat up between Jesse’s legs and admired the view. Jesse’s shirt was almost completely off, showing his well formed stomach and chest. “I don’t think I would be able to do that either.” he stroked Jesse’s stomach muscles and made them ripple under his touch. Then his hand ventured lower and slid over the bulge on his crotch. Jesse moaned and tossed his head back.

“So, um… it was just talk then?” Jesse asked, still a little dubious about the whole lovemaking thing. Gabriel smiled wickedly and squeezed Jesse’s penis through the trousers. “No, we’re gonna take it slow and learn how to make love.”
Jesse groaned as a reply and lifted his hips to meet Gabriel’s hand. “Oh fuck.” he whispered huskily and Gabriel’s smile just spread.
“And how- um-“ Jesse had trouble forming words “-do we know the difference?” he asked hastily before his talk turned into panting and groaning. He pushed his hips up against Gabriel’s hand as the tall man started to unzip him with his other hand.

Jesse tried to get up on his elbows but just as he was starting to lean on his other elbow Gabriel opened his pants and slid his hand inside, freeing Jesse’s painfully hard erection and stroking it. He looked at Jesse’s reddening face as the man stumbled back against the sheets. "Ohhh damn..."
“Trust me, you’ll know the difference.” Gabriel said very confidently and Jesse couldn’t find the strength to deny his words. “Aw shi- O-okay, if you say so.” he mumbled and then he was too busy just feeling Gabriel’s hand on his cock, stroking fast and hard. Jesse’s own hands ventured up and down Gabriel’s thighs and he wished the other man would move closer. Just as long as he didn’t stop what he was doing right now!

With his unoccupied hand Gabriel started to push Jesse’s trousers lower and then he suddenly stopped and stumbled off the bed, tossing his shirt off in one swift movement. Jesse stared at him, his mind still blurry from the sudden stop. "What? Now you're gonna-" he started and then he saw Gabriel removing his pants. "-Oh... never mind." he continued and grinned. Gabriel saw him staring and slowed down, turning around and let his pants fall to the floor. He put his fingers under the hem of his underwear and slowly pulled them down, bending over as he did so. Jesse almost growled as he was rewarded with a very nice view of Gabriel’s backside.

And then the man turned around, grinning like a wolf. His erection was pointing towards Jesse as he lowered himself next to the bed on his knees and pulled all of Jesse’s pants off, tossing them behind himself. Jesse was never really shy about nudity, but now he felt embarrased, being naked in front of Gabriel, under his studious gaze. He knew his face was reddening and it didn’t help him that Gabriel was between his legs, actually spreading his legs more and pulling him closer to the edge of the bed.

He did get really nervous then. He lifted his upper body and leaned on his hands, looking down at Gabriel with anxious eyes.

He was starting to realize where exactly this was leading and as much as he loved sex, and he did, a lot... He didn’t bottom! He never had. Because he wasn’t gay. So, he fucked guys every now and then but it was just sex, so it really didn’t make him gay. But he didn’t bottom.

And now. He was gay.

And the whole reasoning collapsed. He knew he had frozen, he was still and breathing through his nose. Gabriel meant to… fuc-, uh, make love to him? But it was going to hurt! And was going to be messy! And aw shit, he hadn't even showered this morning! And... And he just didn’t bottom. He had really wanted this and now his mind was a mess again. Nothing made sense anymore. Oh hell!

He leaned back and groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. Gabriel was watching him silently. Jesse rubbed at his face and then slowly revealed his eyes to Gabriel. The tall man looked so patient and gentle and… loving. Oh how Jesse craved for his touch. And he wanted to give himself to Gabriel. He wanted to make love, because he really never had. He had bedded a lot of people but to feel something for them, not so much. Maybe once, but he had not been ready to face that yet, then. Because that had been nothing but hurt for both of them.

He pushed that memory away and concentrated on this moment.
“You’re… uh, gonna do it?” he asked warily and Gabriel seemed confused and cocked his head, frowning. “… What?” he asked, seeming worried. He didn’t know what Jesse meant.
“You know that I-“ Jesse stopped. No, wait, Gabriel didn’t know. Nobody knew. He had never told anyone, never. Gabriel wasn’t even supposed to know he had ever been with a guy. Gabriel looked interested. Jesse sighed really deeply and breathed out slowly. “I don’t, I mean, I didn’t, like, never, ever…” he would have waved his hands if he wouldn’t fall on his back on the bed again. So he just made a face at him.

Gabriel looked seriously surprised. “Never? Oh damn.”
“Yeah.” Jesse answered and shrugged, lowering his face. Then he glanced at Gabriel from the corned of his eye. “You still gonna do it?”
Gabriel blinked and then almost smirked. “I’m glad you’re not completely against the idea.”
“Well no. I mean, if we’re gonna- you know, be together, I guess, I should try… it.” he felt stupid. And he was really nervous. It was going to hurt. Right? It hurt?

He didn’t dare to ask. He didn’t want Gabriel to think he was an idiot. He wasn’t a virgin. He was really good in bed. Sex was his thing. The thing he knew. And then Gabriel suddenly turned around and rummaged in his small bag he had brought from home that had his toothbrush and other necessary stuff.
And then he sat up again and presented a bottle of scented lube in one hand and a packet of condoms in the other, grinning widely like a salesman. They were both unopened, thank god. Jesse didn’t want to think Gabriel having sex with anyone else before him, though he knew he had. And then he realized he was staring at the bottle of lube like an UFO. And took it, to appear non-affected.

“So, uh…” he started but then Gabriel was suddenly really close and Jesse fell on his back again and they both laughed, Jesse sounding a little nervous. Gabriel looked deep in his eyes, just studied him for a long while and Jesse looked back, his eyes darting across Gabriel’s face, to his dark eyebrows and to his unshaven chin and to his full lips and then back to his capturing, big eyes. Gabriel leaned closer over his body, still barely touching him and finally kissed his lips softly. Jesse answered the kiss, reaching for the taller man, his arms circling around his neck. Gabriel moved until he could rest on Jesse, their chests pressed against each other. He was still between Jesse’s legs and so Jesse lifted his legs to pull him closer and suddenly it didn’t feel so frightening anymore. It might have helped that he was beginning to be so aroused that he just hoped Gabriel try to come up with another excuse to stop.

And then he did just that, stopped. And stared into Jesse’s deep blue eyes for a long moment. “We’re not fucking.” he said softly and Jesse rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake, make up your mind.” He suddenly wanted to slam his fist against Gabriel’s head.
“No, I’m not fucking you. I want us to make love. And I want you to understand the difference. So don’t hurry things up. Don’t try to reach climax without enjoying the way there. And don’t close your eyes.”
“What?” Jesse blinked. “Don’t close your eyes?!” He stared at Gabriel. What would that matter? “Why not?”

“Because I want you to remember who you are with.”
“Like I’d forget that…” Jesse mumbled and then blushed as he glanced at Gabriel’s face and saw him smirking. “I’m glad.”
Then the dark man suddenly reached for Jesse’s buttocks and pulled him into his lap. Jesse was a bit put out. He was a very tall man and nobody would ever had been able to do this before. All his friends were shorter and smaller than he was and suddenly he felt small and fragile, even though Gabriel was just a few centimetres taller than him. They were just as muscular and strong, but the aura around Gabriel made him seem bigger and stronger. Jesse hadn't felt so small in years, not after puberty when he had suddenly outgrown everyone he knew.

And then Gabriel moved against him, rubbing his cock against Jesse’s and the blond moaned, his neck bending back. “Ohhh…” he whispered and then moved softly up and down and Gabriel helped him. He put the soles of his feet on the edge of the bed so it was easier to move and suddenly they were rocking against each other and Jesse couldn’t think straight anymore. He started to think that maybe they wouldn’t even go further than this, it was enough, they were close, they felt good, they were holding each other and then Gabriel pressed a lubed finger against his entrance.

He flinched and automatically moved up and away from the invading intruder. He had no idea how and when Gabriel had had time to open the lube bottle or even how it had gotten into his hands since Jesse had held it before. He took a hold of Gabriel’s shoulders and then tried to relax himself, lowering his forehead against Gabriel’s. He kept his eyes open though it was difficult. He looked at Gabriel as he felt the finger probe his entrance again and this time he tried not to move away but to relax and let him in. Gabriel pushed the finger inside him easily and then another.

Jesse’s breathing got heavy and his movements turned random and shaky. Gabriel was very careful and took things slow. He studied Jesse’s face and every time he showed any sign of discomfort the dark man slowed down. Soon, noticing Jesse was no longer squeezing his inner muscles panicky around his fingers, he had entered a third finger into Jesse and slowly moved them in and out. Jesse was trying his best to ignore the movement but at the same time he started to enjoy it, to his amazement. His silence was replaced with quiet panting and small moans, though he didn’t realize he was making any sounds.

Gabriel was so turned on by what he could do and the fact that he could see Jesse’s face in front of him this whole time, that he was afraid he would cum before he could even enter Jesse. But on the other hand, it would be okay like that too, he had to give his lover time to get used to this. But ooh boy did he want to get inside Jesse. As he pressed his fingers in to the hilt and Jesse just groaned obviously from pleasure, he knew the blond was ready and so he pulled the fingers away and kissed Jesse softly.

He let Jesse calm down a little and gave him small kisses as he slowed their rocking movement. Then he suddenly offered the pack of condoms to Jesse. The blond looked at the packet like he wouldn’t know what it was, then his eyes cleared a little and he took the package, opening it immediately. Gabriel let him slide down from his lap and sit on the bed.
“Do you want to put it on-" he asked, trying to clear his throat and then added "-me". His voice had lowered considerably, it was almost raspy. Jesse’s eyes shot to his and the blond’s lips twitched into a small crooked grin. “Damn you sound sexy.” he whispered and Gabriel chuckled back.

Jesse was already getting a condom out of the package, opened one individual cover carefully and took the condom into his hand. With practised movements he slid it on Gabriel, stroking his member several times afterwards. He had a small smile on his face and his eyes were ablaze.
“Do I get on my back or stomach?” he asked then, obviously very eagerly. Gabriel poked him on his chest and pushed him to his back, he had lost his voice. He grabbed the bottle of lube from the bed and as Jesse settled on the bed with his legs spread on both sides of Gabriel’s thighs, he poured some lube on his hand and then rubbed it on his erection. He was So ready!

And so it seemed Jesse was too. He just looked at Gabriel as the man positioned himself ready to penetrate him. The blond lifted his legs to Gabriel's sides and squeezed him affectionately. and then he felt Gabriel’s cock press against his entrance and tensed. It felt bigger than fingers. The taller man stopped immediately when he saw the crunched look on Jesse’s face and looked into his eyes. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t relax.” he said with a husky low voice, thick with arousal.

He leaned closer to Jesse so he was hovering over his body, his hands close to Jesse’s face. Jesse squeezed his arms and looked doubtful. “It’s going to hurt anyways.” he whispered nervously, not relaxing one bit. Gabe looked pained. “No it’s not. It’s not supposed to hurt. Just relax Jesse.” he said his lovers name and Jesse let out a moan and when the blond was staring into his eyes, he suddenly pushed in.

Jesse bit his lip and his fingers pressed hard against Gabriel’s arms. He couldn’t breath though he was really trying his best to relax. It just felt so weird. Painful and still pleasurable. And he couldn’t keep his eyes away from Gabriel’s face, the man looked so blissful, his cheeks were red and his black hair was falling from his loose ponytail all around his face. He looked incredibly beautiful. And then he was snugly inside Jesse and shivering and breathing deeply and watching back into Jesse’s eyes.

He rocked forward and then back, pulling almost all the way out and then back in, carefully, slowly. Jesse let out an almost yell, but it wasn’t just for the pain, there were so many feelings and emotions running trough his body and mind that he could not comprehend or separate any of them. He felt a sting behind his eyelids and felt like crying again. He lifted his hands and let his fingers slide across Gabriel’s face, touching every pit of him as he rocked against his body.

Slowly Jesse got the hang of the rhythm. The pain was fading and he could move with Gabriel. The dark man let himself fall closer to Jesse so their bodies were touching everywhere. He folded his hands around Jesse’s head and kissed the blond.

His lips were dry and swollen from all the kisses and his mouth was hot and inviting and Jesse’s hands were around his neck and his legs were against the back of his thighs and he moved with Gabriel’s thrusts and moaned softly and kissed so passionately. Gabriel could taste the salt of his tears again. And he couldn’t help but to smile. He was really here, with this man, right now, one with him. His breathing was getting harsh and his movements faster even when he tried his best to make things last as long as he could.

But he also knew that if it took too much time Jesse would start hurting so when he felt the first surge of heat building between his legs he did nothing to prevent things happening just then and there. But just when he quickened his pace, he lifted himself up enough to grab Jesse's thighs and pull them up on his shoulders. This way he got closer to the other man and was able to grab Jesse’s cock into his hand. He started stroking.

“Help me.” he almost moaned to Jesse and the blond took his hand, intertwining their fingers they stroke him together. Moaning against each others lips they kept kissing in an uncomfortable position. And then Gabriel knew he couldn’t hold much longer and broke the kiss and looked at Jesse, seeing pleasure in his eyes and his oh so beautiful lips moving, saying something silently.
“What?” he whispered almost incoherently and wasn’t absolutely sure that he had really said that. And then it all gathered in the place where they were one, where he was inside Jesse and he bit his teeth together and his thrusts turned completely unsteady and his hand stroked Jesse harder and just as he was about to cum, Jesse suddenly convulsed under him and with the sexiest voice Gabriel had ever heard, moaned Gabriel’s name, spraying his seed into their hands and onto their stomachs.

Then everything was white and surging and Gabriel shook all over and came so hard he was ready to faint. His ears rang and he yelled out loudly, something comprehensible, calling Jesse. His hand squeezed into fist next to Jesse’s face and everything was blurred and moving around. He could hear nothing but panting and then slowly things started to get back. He saw Jesse’s face and knew he was leaning on the man with all his weight. They were both sweaty and Gabriel did nothing to move. His hair was stuck in his face and his neck and he couldn’t be bothered in the slightest.

He was floating somewhere far above. He felt so light and so damn good and free and wonderful that he wanted to laugh. And so he did, a little exhausted laugh that made Jesse under him let out a questioning sound. Not quite a word, but something like it. He was slowly starting to get his sense back and slowly, very slowly he moved enough for Jesse' to let his legs drop to his sides and his softening penis slid out from Jesse. He didn’t want the man to hurt afterwards. Jesse made a little “eww” sound but he didn't really seem that uncomfortable. Gabriel studied him more, actually starting to see something beside stars.

Jesse looked back and then, just as Gabriel thought things could not get better, no fucking way anything could top this, Jesse surprised him by smiling. And the smile was something completely new. Jesse didn’t smile much anyways but this was just… Gabriel couldn’t come up with any other way to describe it but adorable. It was cute and happy and blissful. Jesse smiled at him, his lips and his eyes full of happiness and his hands tickled at Gabriel’s neck and then he leaned closer to Gabriel’s ear.
“I noticed the difference.” he whispered softly and flopped back down, giving Gabriel a wink. Gabriel couldn’t help it, he was too giddy, he almost attacked Jesse’s lips, laughing like a madman.

***

TBC

(Yep, it doesn't end here. There are a lot of things they still need to sort out. Meeting the family and all that ;) )