The Trouble with Love Is

Author's Note-Please, Please review. I write faster when I know someone's reading.

Chapter 4
The Sweetest Taboo

Jesse's eyes wince as the late afternoon sunlight cascades through the wind and onto the bed. He tries to get up, but realizes that there is a hundred and ten pounds of weight on top of his arm and body. When he tries to open his eyes again the hangover that he has been trying to desperately ignore surfaces.
"Jesse!" Jesse father's call from down the stairs. He pushes the body off him without looking at it and goes to the top of the stairs.
"What are you doing here?"
"I got back early. I have to head back into work. I'll be back around ten; maybe later." 'I'll be back.' Jesse has heard these words uttered to him, by his father, three times more than the words 'I love you.' His father has not even looked hard enough to notice the backyard party.
Jesse lumbers back into the bedroom he came from and looks at the blonde hair poking from beneath the bed. He takes a steps forward. The wind is whipping around his sweating chest causing him to be freezing cold on the outside and burning up on the inside. He looks to the open window wishing he could jump from it and end everything. He walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge. His vision is still blurred from the night before. He puts his head in his palms and tries to recapture the moments from last night that led him to this point, but he cannot remember a thing after getting off the stage. His fingers comb through his hair. Suddenly, two arms wrap playfully around his neck. Jesse topples over off the bed. "What the fuck are you doing in here?"
"Jesse this is my room. What's your problem?"
"Why the fuck are you dressed like that?" He looks down at her her white cotton t-shirt and panties.
"I just woke up."
"Why the fuck am I in here with you?" Bethany takes a sudden new found interest in the new carpet hairs. "We didn't do anything, did we?"
"No." Bethany whispers. "Of course not. You were so trashed you didn't know what you were doing. No wonder you don't remember a thing." She stands up from the bed. "I have to get ready for my date anyway." Bethany begins walking to the door when Jesse grabs her wrist.
"With who?"
Bethany's eyes wonder to the left of Jesse's shoulder. "Jason."
"Jason! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Stop fuckin' yelling at me! I feel like I'm on an episode of the Ozbournes as it is!" She begins walking away again, but he quickly follows after her.
"He's just going to make you one of his trophy whores! All you are for him is a fuck!" Jesse's voice raises with each passing word.
She gets to the door and tries to slam it in his face, but is unsuccessful. "Fuck! Stop saying fuck!"
He spins her around and pushes her against the wall in the hallway. The steamy air whips around them both. "You're not going." He says calmy lowering his voice to above a whisper.
"Jealous much?" Bethany smirks.
Jesse shakes his head and lets her go. "Fine. Do whatever you want, but don't come crying to me when you want me to kick his ass for trying shit with you. I am so sick of doing shit for the orphan."
"Good, because I hate you, anyway!"
"No, you don't. Stop acting like a child." Jesse scoffs.
"No, Jesse you're acting like a child!" Bethany folds her arms across her chest.
"How am I acting like a child when I'm discussing calmly and you are acting like a four year old?"
"Because you're like every other guy; too afraid to admit what you're feeling!"
"I don't feel."
Bethany rolls her eyes, steps forward, closing the distance between Jesse and herself in, a graceful heartbeat, into a heartbreakingly beautiful kiss. Her lips press firmly against his and make a sudden cry when they finally have to tear themselves away. He can taste her satly tears in his mouth with every gasp for breath he takes after she immediately turns her back on him.
"Um, dad's here..." He says before she storms off into the bathroom and slams the door. Jesse turns to the bathroom and decides against digging himself a deeper hole. He turns into his bedroom; his only sancutaury for the craziness of everyday life. He grabs his CD player from the side table and jams the headphones onto his ears. Luckily his Hoobastank CD is in their, not some of Bethany's crap music, and The Reason starts to lull his problems away:
I'm not a perfect person, there are many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you.
And so I have to say before I go.
That i just want you to know.

I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you.

I'm sorry that I hurt you, its something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches your tears, that's why I need you to hear.

I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you.

I'm not a perfect person,
I never meant to say those things to you
And so I have to say before I go,
that I just want you to know.

I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you.
I've found a reason to show, a side of me you didn't know.
A reason for all that I do, and the reason is you.
"Oh my fuck."
***
"Oh my Goodness."
Bethany can still feel the sensation of her brother's lips pressed firmly against her own. As the water runs over her body, almost healing the emotional scars, she looks in her mind for the thought that what she had just done moments ago was dirty, but it never comes.
It has to be incest...to kiss your brother and like it. It has to be wrong, but she could not find a single thought in her mind to contradict the growing feelings for her older brother. Maybe, something so right can really be wrong.
By the time she even considers getting out of the shower the sun is already setting. A nice, normal relationship is exaclty what she wanted right now and all she ever really needed. She wraps the towel around her body and cautiously walks out of the bathroom; closing the door behind her. She walks to her room, quickly, and slams the door shut. Her feet tread softly across the white plush carpeting to her radio. She needs something to clear her mind after everything that has happened. She turns the volume up to try to drowan out anything Jesse can be doing to MIchelle Branch's "Goodbye To You", but the music is never loud enough. As she sings along she realizes that even after what has happened with Jesse, she is still not over Dana.

Of all the things I believed in, I just want to get it over with.
Tears form behind my eyes, But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul.
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old.
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The past three yeas were just pretend, And I said
Goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you.
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light, but it's not right!
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
I want what's yours and I want what's mine.
I want you, but I'm not giving in this time!
And when the stars fall I will like awake.
You're my shooting star.

After walking over to her closet and picking out an outfit consisting of a shirt with the words 'Shit happens, just don't fall into to it.' written on the front and a short red and black, plaid school girl outfit. Just as she lets the thoughts overtake her the phone rings and Jason is waiting on the other side.
"Hey Jason." Bethany tugs gently at her earlobe. She grabs her Dew Kiss lip gloss from her dresser. "No, I didn't forget about our date." She opens the door to her room and walks to the top of the stairs, careful to make as little noise as possible. "You're outside now? What are you stalking me?" Bethany walks down the steps and opens the door. Jason is standing right in front of her.
"What took you so long?" Jason puts his arm around her and walks her to his black motorcycle.
"A black motorcycle? How cliche is that?" She hangs up her cellphone after realizing she is still talking into it. He passes her his helmet. "Don't you need one?"
"What can I say? I'm a rebel." He hops on the bike as Bethany jams the helmet on top of her head. She jumps on behind him not sure what to do with her hands until he pulls them tightly around his waist. "We can't have you flying off the back can we? Jesse would kill me if I got you killed."
"What are you scared of him?"
"I didn't say that. I just don't want any knives thrown at my head at this point in my life."
"I wish I hadn't worn a skirt." Jason revs the engine and peels out of the driveway.
The air whips around Bethany causing her to close her eyes and bury her face into Jason's back. The engine is roaring too loud to carry a conversation between the two, but at that moment neither wants to nor cares.
***
Jesses bumbles down the steps after hearing the door slam shut. His usually spiked hair is now flat and all over the place. He walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "Stupid girl." Jesse mutters as the doorbell chimes. He walks to the door and wrenches it open. "What?"
Dana is standing at the door. "Is Bethany-?"
"She's already out on a date." Jesse slams the door shut. "Idiots."
He walks up the stairs to his band's studio. They don't use the studio much. He walks over to the sound studio section and grabs the tape recorder from one of the oak woodentables. He pops out the tape inside and into the VCR and pushes play. The music video the band taped starts, but is immediately cut to Jesse and a red head in an intimate position.
"What the fuck?" Jesse tilit his head to the side. "Who...damn, how the fuck did she do that?"
Jesse turns down the volume as the mystery girl's moans grown louder.
"Unnnnnnh!"
***
Bethany stares across the booth to Jason. He isn't so bad looking. He's definitely cute. I guess.
"Hey slut!"
Bethany turns towards the screeching sound of the voice. Storm is walking her with Dana. "Oh my God."
Jason shrugs. "Ignore it."
Storm steps up in front of the booth. "I see ho-osity runs through the family. Your father passed down the weirdest genes. Oops! I forgot you're the orphan, right? Mmm, bubble burst!"
Bethany stands up trying her hardest to ignore Dana's eyes on her back. She picks up her vanilla milkshake from the table. "You know Storm I was was going to drink this milkshake, but now after seeing you I realize something." She purs the drink over Storm's head. "What comes from a fat cow, should stay with a fat cow." She turns to a stunned Jason sitting at the booth. "We can go now."
***
Jesse fast forwards alsmost two hours on the nine hour tape. "Holy shit." Jesse whispers. "That had to be after the party."
"Oh fuck!" The girl screams. "You are a Sex God!"
Jesse racks his mind. He is still not able to remember the girl's name or meeting her at all. His thoughts break as he hears the door slam.
***
Jason follows Bethany into the living room on the couch. "Are you okay?"
"I hate him. Why does he bother going out with that ho?"
"Some guys don't know how great they have it until it's too late. We can't help that we're stupid. We're born that way." They sit down on the couch and he puts his arm around her shoulder.
Bethany mixes a gentle laugh with a sob. Jason wipes away a lost tear frrom her face. "Thanks Jason. For everything."
"No problem." He leans towards her and kisses her softly on the mouth. Thay stay like this for a few momemts when Jason decides to slip a hand up her shirt.
Bethany jumps at his touch and pushes him away. "No! Stop! What the hell are you doing?"
"Trying to get to know you better. Come on, everyone does it. You always keep telling everyone how you're not a little kid, right?" He moves towards her again and forces her into another kiss. She knees him between the legs and he kneels over her. She is just about to push his limp body off her when something else picks him off her.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my sister?" Jesse grabs Jason by the neck and stands him up. "Did you say stop?" He directs towards Bethany, who shakes her head yes. He back hands Jason in the face. "Why can't guys ever get thet stop means stop, not go?" He opens the door and pushses him on the steps. "Come near my sister again and-"
"Jesse."
Jesse closes the door and walks over to Bethany. "You okay?"
She nods her head and he sits next to her. "Yeah. I think so. Thanks."
They stare at each other almost hypnotizing each other with a single gaze. At some point both of them move closer, but Bethany is the first to touch her lips to Jesse's. Both of them stay embarace in the kiss not sure what the next move should be. Jesse begins to kiss her harder as he places the tips of his fingers on her shirt hem. Bethany does not move, her mind too paralyzed by everything that has happened. She slips her hand to the nape of Jesse's neck and pulls him a little on top of her as the doorknob turns from a key on the otheride. Jesse immediately pushes her away as their father walks through the door.
"Hey. What have you guys been doing?"
Bethany stays quiet not looking at either of them. Jesse smiles a little. "Um, just watching a little television and talking."
"Talking? You were actually getting along?"
Bethany stands up and walks towards the stairs. "I'm really tired." She continues up to her room without another word. She pops her new Avril Lavigne CD Don't Tell Me into her CD player.

You held my hand and walked me home. I know.
While you gave me that kiss. It was something like this.
It made me go, Oh, Oh.
You wiped my tears, got rid of all of my fears,
why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love.
Guys are so hard to trust.
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl?
The one who gives it all away!
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you? This time.
Did you think that it was something I was gonna do? And cry.
Don't try to tell me what to do. Don't try to tell me what to say.
You're better off that way.
Don't think that your charm
and the fact that your arm is now around my neck,
Will get you in my pants. I'll have to kick you ass
and make you never forget. I'm gonna ask you to stop.
I thought I liked you alot, but I'm really upset.
Get outta my head, get off of my bed.
Yeah, that's what i said.
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl?
The one who throws it all away!
This guilt trip that you put me on,
won't mess me up, I've done no wrong.
Any thoughts of you and me have already gone away!
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you? This time.
Did you think that it was something I was gonna do? And cry.
Don't try to tell me what to do. Don't try to tell me what to say.
You're better off that way. I'm better off alone anyway.

As the last song fades Bethany stops singing and throws her CD player onto the bed. There is a knock at the door. "Come in." Jesse opens the door and closes it behind him. "Jesse?"
"We have to talk."