New Found Brother

I avoided the apartment for the next three days while working on the finales. I spent the three days spending as much time at school or with my finales partner. I kind of liked having mainly cooking classes; especially since I didn’t have to do the cooking test all by myself.

Though I’m not sure if that was good thing for my partner. Seeing as at the moment I was pissed off. I was pissed that I wanted my brother. I was pissed off that I even wanted him to kiss me. I hated the fact that the oven had beeped when it did. And I hate that I hated that the oven beeped when I did.

I didn’t even realize how pissed off I was until I heard my partner clear his throat.

I looked up from the dough I was beating.

“You okay?” he asked me, nodding down to the dough.

I looked down at the mangled mess and made an audible “oops”. I sighed, wiped my hands on my apron and then pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m fine; I just need to stop thinking.”


“Yeah, I figured that much when you woke up at three last night panting. Who you thinking about? That one girl that’s been hanging on you all the time? Oh, and are you finally going home tonight?”

I assumed he meant Marie. I gave a half-hearted laugh, “no, not her. Someone else. And yes, I’ll go home and leave you and your little friend alone.”


Jake mumbled something to himself.

“You think it’s savable?” I asked nodding to the dough.

“Possibly... we might fail the bread making part of the test...” Jake said with a shrug.

“Well, we aced the rest of it. Maybe we should start over?”

“No time, we barely have enough to bake it. How about I take over so you don’t try to beat it into submission anymore.”

“Well it’d be easier if it’d cooperate,” I attempted a half assed joke to try and lighten the mood between us again.

It work, Jake laughed as he slid the dough towards him to finish putting it in the loaf pans.

The next two hours was filled with the smells of fresh baked bread, and the sounds of classmates chatting. I checked my text messages to find that I had received two more from Marie and one from Jeff. I checked all three, only responding to the one of Jeff’s, asking if I was ever coming home. I told him I’d be there after class. I had nothing to do, and in all honesty, I knew I couldn’t hide from him or keep my emotions locked away for forever.

So, when class was over, I shoved my phone in my back pocket, and put on my coat and book bag.

“See you next semester,” Jake said with a wave as we parted ways.

I nodded and waved back before catching a cab. I was actually happy about going back home. Mainly because I really wanted to sleep in my own bed, but I did want to see Jeff again. And we could talk about what had almost happened.

The cab pulled up in front of the apartment building, and I climbed out, walking into the building, saying hello to the door man before making my way to the elevator. I made my way to the tenth floor, and down the hall to the apartment. I pulled the key out of my pocket, wondering if Jeff would even be home yet. I just had the one finale today, which got me out of school two hours early, meaning Jeff would still be at work.

I tested the door, it was locked, so yeah, Jeff was still at work. I unlocked the door and walked in, taking off my coat and hanging it on the hook next to the door, setting my book bag on the floor.

“You need to tell him!”

I recognized the voice, it belonged to Marie. I frowned, wondering what she was doing there or who she was talking to.

“How am I supposed to do that?” So, Jeff was home. “He doesn’t even know I’m gay, let alone I have feelings for him. It’ll fuck everything up if I tell him.”

I was curious on tell who what. Thankfully they didn’t know I was home yet, seeing as they were arguing in Jeff’s room. I stepped closer, being as quiet as possible.

“And I somehow doubt he’ll even accept it. I mean, hello, I nearly kissed him and he disappeared for three day!”

So, I was me.

“He’s your brother, you have to tell him. If you don’t, it could make thing worse.”

Jeff sighed, “it’ll probably make them worse if I tell him. You know, it’s not every day you fall in love with your brother. And I don’t think he’s gay, or even a little bit bi, so I don’t think he’d even accept it, not in the least. What am I supposed to say...”

I started backing up to the door, not wanting to listen to anymore. I just heard enough to keep my head spinning for the next week at least. I walked out the door, shutting it behind me rather hard. I wasn’t mad, not really, just utterly confused.

When I entered the elevator I heard the apartment door open and Marie calling my name, but the elevator door was shutting, and I had no real interest to stop it. My phone began to ring, and I pulled it from my pocket, sure enough Marie was calling me. I didn’t answer, just placed it back in my pocket ignoring the stupid song that played.

It was about ten minutes later that I found myself walking through the park. My phone had not stopped ringing, and I knew Marie knew I had my phone. She wouldn’t stop calling until I answered. I sighed, pulling the phone from my pocket and flipped it open.

“Hello?”

“About time! Can we talk?”

“Nope,” I snapped the phone shut again.

It instantly began ringing.

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“Shopping,” I stated blandly.

“Without your coat or wallet?”

I hadn’t realized I didn’t have my coat, and I placed my hand on my back pocket, hadn’t realized I didn’t have my wallet. I always put it in my coat, Marie knew that. “I have my wallet.”

She was quiet for a moment, “that’s why I’m staring at it?”

“Damnit,” I mumbled to myself.

“Please? I just want to talk, where are you?”

“Just you?”

“Yeah.” When she didn’t repeat it was just her, I could picture her looking at Jeff with a worried glance, not wanting him to know.

“I’m at the park where we first met,” I surrendered with a sigh.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.”

I snapped my phone shut again and wrapped my arms around my chest, thinking of what I had heard for the first time. I had come to figure out that Jeff was at least bi, mainly from the fact that he never had female friends over, and when he did, they were passed out on the couch. Michelle seemed to have been a onetime thing, as I had never seen her again. Jeff had a lot of male friends, and most of them were gay, that much was clear. The news of Jeff being gay didn’t bother me, not like he thought it would.

I think what bothered me the most was he had said he loved me. That it wasn’t everyday you fell in love with your brother. He didn’t understand how he could love me; surely I wasn’t that loveable of a person to begin with.

I thought back to the near-kiss we had had, the one he had mentioned to Marie, and remembered how I had felt. I had wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to hold me again. Hell it was all I could really think about for the past three days. What his lips would feel like, what it would be like to have him hold me... did that make me gay? Or in love for that matter.

“Hey.”

My thought’s stopped instantly, and I turned to face Marie. She was holding my coat and two cups of coffee. I took my coat and slipped it over my shoulders, straightening the collar before taking one of the cups of coffee she offered to me.

“So, how much did you hear?”

“Enough,” I stated turning from her and moving to a bench. I sat down with a sigh, stretching my legs out in front of me. She sat down beside me and looked to be thinking rather hard. “What part don’t you like? The part that he’s gay or the part that he’s in love with you?”

I shrugged. I suppose it would be more along the lines him being in love with me. I still didn’t see it as possible. I took a drink from my coffee and closed my eyes. “Neither,” I lied.

Marie seemed to smile knowingly.

“How long have you known?”

“Since the beginning, which was pretty much right after he found you. When dad told him that you even existed right after your mom died, Jeff went a little nuts trying to find you. Said he didn’t want you to be alone, that no one should live like that, and that he’d do anything for you. Dad wasn’t fully sure where to find you, so they hired an investigator, a good one too.

“After Jeff met with you and you agreed to come, he was ecstatic. He’d always wanted a brother, or at least someone to hang out with. You were good for him. He always went out, nearly on a nightly basis, and came home drunk.”

“He said he went out every other weekend or so,” I interjected.

Marie laughed, “I don’t think he wanted you to worry.” She gave a shrug before continuing, “after you came, he pretty much stopped going out at all, which I’m sure you noticed. And it wasn’t until that night Michelle had stayed over that he realized his feelings for you were a little more than brotherly. He told me about it, but made me swore not to say a damn thing or he’d kill me. He said something about having a rather... sexual... dream about you. It was all he could think about, and said he wished it would come true, but didn’t want to hurt you.

“He’s missed you a lot the past couple days. Told me he wished that when the two of you were on the couch had never happened, but at the same time wish he had actually kissed you.”

Marie went quiet, and then looked over at me, “what are you thinking about?”

I didn’t look at her, just continued to look out at random people walking through the park, wondering who the hell in the right mind would be out in this weather. “I don’t know. Thing’s right now is just too confusing.”

“What’s confusing?”

“The fact that my brother has a thing for me, and I think I might have one for him too.”

“Oh...”

I gave her a smile, “don’t worry about it, I just need a little time to think things over.”

“Are you going to go home tonight?”

“Yeah, I can’t avoid him for forever. Besides, I have nowhere else to go, and I kind of miss him.” I was quiet for a few minutes, before standing up, “I still haven’t done my Christmas shopping, mainly cause I never did find out your shoe size.”

Her eyes suddenly lit up, and she jumped from her spot on the bench, “you’re getting me shoes?!”

I laughed, tossing my half-empty but cold coffee into the trash can. “I was thinking about it.”

Marie gave a small squeal, tossing her own cup away before linking her arm through mine. “Lead the way all mighty master card holder!”

“Just don’t plan on my spending too much, Jeff gave me a spending limit.”

“It’s his card?”

“Not exactly. It’s mine, but he’s paying for it.”

Marie nodded before pulling me along the walk.

An hour later I found myself in the third shoe store. Well this one wasn’t exactly a shoe store, more like a department story, one that had pretty much had everything you could ever imagine. She still hadn’t chosen what she wanted from me for Christmas. Had tried on at least fifty shoes, and was currently working on at least ten different outfits. But that wasn’t the worst part about her trying on clothes, the worst part was her having to model every single outfit.

I checked the clock on my phone. A half hour had passed since we first arrived at the store. I flipped my phone open and pressed the button to reach Jeff’s cell.

“H-hello?”

I smiled as his hesitant voice reached my ear. “Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to let you know, I made a mistake of taking Marie shopping, so I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

“So... you’re coming home tonight?”

“Yeah. I miss home. Anyway, I’ll hopefully be there before I commit suicide from lack of anything better to do.”

“Don’t do that!” I could hear the smile in his voice, so at least he knew I was joking and wasn’t too upset about the events so far.

“I’ll try and hold out. But I’ll see you later, she just came out with something else on. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.”

I closed my phone shut and cocked my head at Marie and her new outfit. “If I say yes, can we go?”

She frowned, “but you’ve liked every single one, and I can’t choose.”

“How can I not like them all? You look great in everything you where. And look at me; I’m acting like your boyfriend trying to get laid tonight.”

She giggled. “All right, I’ll pick something out. You go wait by the check out.”

I gave a sigh of relief and stood from the plastic chair I had been perched on for the past half hour making my way over to the counter. I knew it would be another ten minutes at least before she showed up, so I wandered over to the jewelry department. I let my eyes travel over all the different gold chains and necklaces.

I looked at a collection of rune stones on chains, and saw the rune for “fate”. For some reason I smiled and thought of Jeff.

“Can I help you, sir?”

I jumped at the sudden appearance of the clerk. “Yeah, can I get that one please?” I asked pointing to the rune. The girl nodded, then pulled it out of the casing and wrapped it up, placing it inside a small box. She placed a sticker on the bottom of the box before handing it over to me. I said thank you then made my way back to the checkout counter, my present for Jeff now in hand.

Marie was, thankfully, waiting for me this time. She was looking around; I supposed trying to find me, several different hangers in hand.

“What’s that?” she asked looking at the box in my hand.

“A watch for Jeff.” I told her. When she gave me a curious look I smiled at her, “it’s what he said he wanted.” That was true; Jeff did say he wanted a watch... sort of.

She just nodded, slightly confused then put her stuff on the counter. I nearly choked on my own saliva when the total came to two hundred dollars. Marie was pretty damned lucky I liked her so much, and it was the only thing she was getting from me for Christmas for the next five years.

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Marie insisted on coming up to the apartment with me, saying something about showing off her new clothes to Jeff. She had decided on the walk back that she was taking them all to Cancun with her to wear while there, and kissed me on the cheek the tenth time saying I was the best.

We entered the apartment, and we found Jeff sitting on the couch watching Spiderman. He quickly stood as we came in, looking between the two of us.

“I survived. Now you get to live through hell.” I stated kicking off my shoes before heading to my room. Marie rolled her eyes before rushing to Jeff telling him he wouldn’t believe what all I had bought her.

Once in my room I sat down on my bed, pulling the box out of the bag and removed the sticker from the bottom. When it was gone I stood and tried to find a decent hiding place for it, but one I would actually remember. I didn’t really have one, so I just stuck it in my sock drawer. Honestly, who looked there anyway? Besides. I doubted Jeff would even go through my room looking for whatever I had gotten him.

I moved back to my bed and fell on it with a relieved sigh. I was so glad to be back in my own room. I was really glad to no longer be standing around while Marie tried on everything sparkly. I pulled my arm behind my head and closed my eyes, slowly dozing on and off. I heard the door close again, and Marie’s voice was no more, so I assumed she was gone.

“Hey,” I was right, Jeff was in my doorway. I opened my eyes and looked at him. “How’d your finales go?”

“No clue, I won’t know for a few more days. Which sucks.”

He nodded. “Did you want to... talk?”

I shook my head. “No... well yeah. I do, but not right now. I still want to think about it some more. We can talk tomorrow, right? Neither of us have anything to do, so we’ll spend the day working things out.”

Jeff nodded and turned.

“Hey, Jeff,” I sat up on my bed as he turned around again. “I’m sorry if I worried you at all. And about what happened on the couch...”

“Forget it. Get some rest.”

He turned and left, shutting himself in his own room before I could say anything else. Though I wasn’t fully sure what I was going to say to begin with. I sighed and fell backward on my bed again. This was going to be a long night.

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A/N: okay, before anyone says anything about spelling and grammar: i write and post. i don't re-read or have a beta read. i just write it and post it. when i re-read my chapters later on i correct errors on word, but that doesn't garrentee the corrections make it here. anyway, the reason i'm saying this is because i don't want reviews with people commenting bad grammar/spelling. it will eventually be fixed.