Different Interests, Different Lives

OMG! I'm sooooooooo sorry for getting this next chapter up late, but I really had a hard time concentrating on writing since it was summer...but since I spent most of my time at the computer that really doesn't make much sense, but all the same I'm sorry for getting this up late....*bows* gomen! well, enjoy Part 4...



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At the courthouse, Chris met his lawyer that had been prepared for him. He was a short, bald man; he reminded Chris of the lawyers he saw on the cop TV series he would watch when he was bored, the ones that always were defending the guilty person. He pulled Chris off to the side and asked him about everything but never looked like he was very interested in what he said. Just another job, one more abused kid to help. After the millionth time, it gets boring, doesn’t it? Chris didn’t like him at all and wished that Ms. Marries doubled as a lawyer. When he was done, the lawyer left and Matt sat next to him.



“You doing ok Chris?”



“Yeah, yeah I am,” Chris’ eyes darted to the door and back, “I’m just nervous for him to show up.”

Matt sighed and put a comforting hand on him. He soon took it off and there they sat until his lawyer came back and told him his father was running late. Chris asked if he could step outside, but he wasn’t listening. He was already heading down the hall to the court room to prepare more for the trial. Chris got up and walked out to the outdoor balcony nearby, taking in the fresh air. Matt followed and leaned against the gate, his head bobbed down, bring his gaze down. Chris looked at him and ventured to ask a question.



“Why are you doing all this?”



Matt looked at him, “All what?”



Chris looked away and over into the street, “This. Helping me, caring for me, everything.”

“Because I care. I care about what happens to you and what you do.” Matt sat on the bench near him and closed his eyes with his face towards the sun. Chris looked at him and watched him a minute, pondering if this was the answer he wanted, or the answer that would suffice, and it was enough for him.



He asked no more questions and they both stayed out there, waiting eagerly for the time to come. Chris kept pacing every now and then, unable to keep his mind off of what Matt said. Why him? Why some sixteen year old punk kid? He could have chosen any guy out there with how good he looked, but he chose him.



His lawyer poked his bald head out and said, “He’s here. We’re ready to get started.”



They went into the hallway and Chris froze. There his father was, all clean and pressed in a tie, looking sober for the first time in years. He looked over towards Chris and he looked confident in a stone-set face, but his eyes glared hate and disgust in his direction. As his dad went inside, Matt pulled him along and had him head in with the lawyer without him.



“Wait, you’re not coming?” Chris stopped and looked back.



“I can’t. It’s a personal family matter.” Matt saw the fear in his eyes and felt his heart break. “You’ll be okay. He can’t touch you in there.”



Reluctantly, he went in and sat with his lawyer. The four of them sat in their chairs as the bailiff stood waiting for the signal that the judge was coming in.



“All rise.” His voice boomed across the quiet courtroom and they stood. The judge came in and sat down and they began. They started with Chris and his story. He sat in the witness’s chair and suddenly became even more nervous than he already was. His stomach began to churn in his nervousness and he felt his head spin. Opening his mouth and starting his side of the story, his voice wavered a few times and his body shook all over. He hardly looked at his dad, he couldn’t bring himself to do it out of fear. Yes, he was afraid. Of the outcome and what the future held he was afraid. For Chris, things had never gone right and he kept thinking that all these good things, all the things to bring him out of his misery, were only an edge. He could still fall right back where he was and go back to aching every morning and wearing long sleeves all the time, even in the sweltering heat of summer.



(Have a little faith)



Or he could regain his balance and walk away unscathed. Matt had gotten him this far and he was time he took it all the way. It was time to get away from his fears.



“Chris?” his lawyer’s voice echoes far off. Somewhere along the line he had stopped talking. “You alright to continue?”



He nodded with a hard surety and kept going wit a stronger voice and with his muscles relaxed. As he did, his eyes wandered to his dad more and more and seemed to be watching him through quick glances he swept around the room. Inside he smiled because with every glance, his father began to look less and less sure of himself. By the time he got done, his lawyer asked him to show any scars or bruises he had and he almost grinned at his dad’s face. You forgot about that didn’t you? Got yourself so hammered you couldn’t remember a fucking thing after you did your daily routine. Waking up in the bathroom or on the kitchen floor with a knife next to you and blood all over it and your hands. When you sobered up you would remember bits and pieces but forget about it and then at home, after work, it happened all over again. So sure you got a great lawyer you forgot about all that didn’t you?



When he finally finished, he sat back down with his lawyer and waited. The judge sifted through papers then asked his father’s lawyer if he wanted to say anything. A few whispers were passed and he stood. He began to say this is just to get his father in jail. That his bruises and scars were all self inflicted. Chris kept his gaze straight at the judge who listened and wrote things down. This is their last chance? Blame it all on me? He became nervous again as the lawyer kept going when he finished, the judge looked at the four of them, looking very tired and worn. No surprise since the trial had gone on all morning.



“For now, we will take a fifteen minute break…” He closed his book and walked out. Chris didn’t move and didn’t hear his lawyer talking as he talked about finding a way to get around this accusation. His lawyer lead him, dazed and a little withdrawn out and into the hall, where Matt was. Chris was only there for a minute and he was on the outside balcony, making dry heaves into a garbage can. When he was finished, he stepped back and almost fell but Matt caught him. He stood him up and made sure he could stand.



“Feel better?” Matt let him go and watched him sway a minute before standing straight and solid again.



“Yeah, a little. I just felt really sick all of a sudden,” He walked over to a bench and sat down, “His lawyer turned everything around. He made it seem like I’m faking it all…”



“And the judge believed it?”



“I don’t think so, but it could be possible.” He sat there as Matt got up and stomped around, cursing under his breath. “Matt, I don’t think that stomping around will help any.”



Chris pulled at his lip ring a bit and Matt looked over at him. “You’re right.”



The door to the balcony opened and someone stepped out. Chris looked to see who it was and he froze to the core. His father saw him too but only looked away and lit a cigarette he had found in his coat pocket.



“You felt confident for a while there didn’t you” smoke puffed from his mouth as he talked. Chris didn’t say anything, only glared at him then turned away. His dad looked away too, muttering, “Don’t give me that look you little shit.”



Chris clenched his fingers and stood abruptly. “I’ll talk however the fuck I want to you.”



His dad looked at him with a look of angry surprise. He snuffed the cigarette in his hand and it was then Chris saw that he wasn’t sober, but not entirely drunk. Not enough to make him drunk, but enough to fuel the fire. Chris backed up slowly and hit the wall with a thump and watched his dad. He ran up at him with his fist curled and ready to lunge out. Chris flinched ready for what was coming next, but only heard a sickening thud as fist and jaw collided with no pain inflicted to himself. Confused, he opened his eyes and saw Matt’s back with his arms outstretched. His dad looked furious. “Move!” he shouted as he threw another punch to his face. “Move your ass now!”



He flew more punches to his face, gut, arms, everywhere, but Matt only stood there. Chris watched as blood flew and Matt’s body shook from the blows to his stomach. Every time he saw this, he would feel something inside of his chest constrict harder and harder, but all he could do was watch. He wanted to yell, wanted to scream for help, but nothing came out but a little whisper of air. Something blurred his vision when he blinked and he realized he was crying. He didn’t know why and he didn’t care, this little distraction enabled him to finally find his voice and say something. “Matt, move please.” He pleaded at him. Another punch was thrown and he winced. “Please…”



“No,” he squeezed out, “I can’t, because, if I do, he’ll get, you.”



Chris tried to slip out from behind him, but was pinned back with Matt’s body. He couldn’t watch anymore. He shut his eyes and turned the best he could towards the wall. It seemed to go on forever and he hated it, he wanted it all to stop, but his dad wouldn’t. Very faintly, deep in the back of his mind he heard a door slam and voices shouting, but didn’t notice anything until he felt Matt slump away from him. Chris looked back and everything came back into focus. Two men were holding his father back while Matt coughed on the ground. He sat next to Matt and his dad thrashed and shouted things at them.



“Go ahead and protect him you son of a bitch! Go ahead! He’s your problem now. He’ll never amount to anything because of what he is! He’s a bastard kid! Here’s something you didn’t know Chris. Your bitch of a mother whored herself out. She bucked around with every man in town! In fact, you’re not even my kid!” Chris didn’t show his face, but his dad knew he had hit a nerve in assaying that. He kept raving, adding laughter to it as he was pulled back. “And you want to know something else? Even after she had you, she kept going back to them, for more and more and more….”



They finally pulled him inside where he couldn’t be heard and Chris only sat there next to Matt, the words echoing over and over in his mind. He knew that, he knew he wasn’t that mans son, but he couldn’t believe it. If he wasn’t his dad, and his mom ran away with his real dad (his guess was that she did, but he never knew for sure) why hadn’t she taken him with her? Why had she left him with that, thing? Did she not love him? No, that wasn’t it. She loved him very much, she told him so many times. She always told him she loved him. Even on that day she left, she said she loved him, with tears in her eyes, she says she loved him. More tears fell from his eyes as he thought of this also and a few loud, hacking coughs brought him out of his thoughts. He touched Matt lightly and got a full view of the damage to his face. Matt reached up and wiped the remaining streaks of tears from his face.



“You okay?” he croaked. His voice was hoarse from an obvious punch near the throat and it sounded wounded to Chris’ ears.



“You should take a look at yourself before you ask that again,” Chris said, wiping his eyes. “You just got the shit beaten out of you and you’re asking me that?” He helped Matt up and his lawyer came out to help. As they led Matt down the hall, they were told his father was guilty on all charges from his display and was being sent to jail. Chris didn’t say much about it, his mind was someplace else. What his father said had hurt, he wasn’t denying that at all, but it wasn’t much. His father was only half-right. Yes, his mom had cheated on his dad, but with only one man. Even at his young age, Chris could see that she did with another man what he did with him, and it wasn’t until later in life when he was older that he understood that that was cheating. Many times he remembered her trips to the store with a man in a blue car. Before they drove off, he would see them kiss in the dark before the baby sitter would pull him back from the window to find something to play with. Chris never told his father, but now, he guessed he already knew. Even with how often he was at work, he knew. Compared to what Chris went through in the past nine years, it wasn’t much at all to him.



But his mind was far from this. His mind was on Matt, and what he just did to protect him. He had thrown himself into danger to keep him safe. He let Chris come before his own needs. The only other person to do that was his own mom, but even that was short lived. She didn’t even take him with her. Then Chris mentally scolded himself for thinking that. Maybe she couldn’t take me with her…



Not far down the hall Matt was able to walk himself, showing that he was somewhat fine, at least not terribly beat up. They finished up there with what was left and drove back home. Matt shut himself in his room without a word. Chris sighed and went into the kitchen for a bit and just sat and thought. He felt bad about what Matt went through and tried thinking of a way to make him feel better. He stood and thought some more at the table before getting some ice. The least I can do is patch him up. In the kitchen, he found a first aid kit too and went up to Matt’s room. Listening before knocking, he felt a bit like a parent looking in on their kid. They thought almost made him giggle, but under the circumstances, he didn’t.



Chris poked his head in and looked at Matt who had raised his head (and taken off his shirt, Chris noticed). Smiling a little, he asked, “May I come in?”



Matt laid back again, “Yeah.” Chris went in and set the things on the nightstand. He looked at Matt and

winced. Bruises covered all the way up and down his torso with a few placed on his arms and neck. On his turned face, he had worse ones that already had a sickly green tint to them, and he had a bit of drying blood by his nose and lip. Getting the wet towel he brought with him, he sat next to him and turned his face. He began cleaning him off gently. Matt turned his eyes to him and watched him a minute then reached for the clothe, “I’ll do that…”



Chris snatched it away and said, “No, I will. Just relax.” Matt set his arm down an let Chris continue, going at it slow. Matt flinched a few times when he brushed a bruise. “Sorry.”



He shook his head. “No, I’m fine. You’re okay, so I’m okay.”



Matt reached up and touched his cheek. Chris jumped a bit, still not used to the comforting gesture from a man yet, but then relaxed into it. After what he did for him, he was going to let him and he was going to try and not be as jumpy about it. He knew that It was sort of wrong for Matt to do that to him, kissing, touching but not too much touching. It was wrong even if they didn’t do much, it was still wrong because Chris was under aged. Still, Chris felt that he wasn’t after Chris just for the pleasure, he was after him for something more than his body and the pleasure he wanted from him. He saw evidence of that this afternoon when his dad tried to attack him. So because of that and what he showed him, he let him show his affection, almost smiling softly at him as he did to let him know this. Matt closed his eyes and took his arm back letting him continue. Once he finished he took some ice and set it on his face, gently and held it there, making sure it didn’t fall off. Chris watched him lay back and relax, seeing the bruises plastered on his body. It made him realize all that he had gone through, what he had endured. All the times he had been hit, and he never truly knew why. He never knew the real reason why but he now knew, and all that he had undergone was experienced by Matt in one afternoon. He reached out and stroked Matt’s cheek, grabbing his attention. Matt saw the sad look on his face and the little smile that said he was okay despite the look.



“Are you happy?” he asked him, letting the hand run over his cheeks, lips, and neck before it rested back in his lap.



“Yeah, I am. You still sore?”



“A little, but I feel okay. There’s nothing done that was major,” He smiled at him. Chris looked away slightly. His smile didn’t seem real, but he knew it was. Why does he seem so fine after all that? To him, it only seems like he’s tired. Nothing else. No pain, no anger, nothing. Just tired…



He touched his cheek again and could feel the pain he was holding in. Chris looked at him and then leaned over and kissed his cheek, his bruised chin, then his lips. Matt was surprised, but said nothing and let him continue as he climbed on top of him. This was sort of experimental for Chris, but the main purpose he did it for was for Matt. He wanted to make him feel better, to maybe comfort him. He wasn’t used to kissing another guy so his body shook a little in nervousness as he did. He was careful and soft, gibing him healing relief through his nerves that wasn’t completely physical. As Chris pulled back to go lower Matt could feel his knee push into his groin as it bent. His lower half sprang to life and he held back a small groan as he held onto Chris’ arm and closed his eyes. Chris stretched back out, going to his face and his thigh lay across it, giving it another spike of mixed pleasure and lust that ran through him and he had a hard time holding back the small moan this time. Matt could feel it again, filling him up and completely devouring his entire being, getting dangerously close to controlling him.



“Chris…” he eased Chris’ body off of himself, not much, but enough to help it subside. Chris looked at him and even without touch, it began to grow again. “We should get something to eat. What do you feel like?”



Chris saw what was on Matt’s face and realized what he was doing. His face flushed and he rolled off of him, his leg still draped slightly over Matt’s. “You should rest, I’m not all that hungry anyways.”



He laid his head on him, listening to his heartbeat echo and feeling his chest rise and fall. Matt wrapped his arm around him and kissed him on the top of his head. Chris didn’t jump this time in surprise, just stared passed Matt and out the window. They lay there with each other in a trance of healing; Chris’ touch healing the abuse Matt went through that afternoon and Matt’s touch healing all that Chris endured most of his life. Chris felt at peace, but felt guilty like he was a burden. Matt had gone through so much just to keep him safe and happy. Even sacrificing his own body and throwing himself into harms way. Absently, he ran his fingertips over Matt and thought a while. Soon, his movement stopped.



“Are you asleep Chris?” Matt bent his head and Chris looked back to him. Catching each other’s gaze, they looked away.



“Matt. What you did this afternoon. Don’t do it please,” Chris’ voice shook as he asked him this. It hurt, it hurt somewhere in his chest to have Matt hurt on his account. He felt guilty, like it was his fault and he tried to not feel bad, he tried as hard as he had the past few weeks to not get close to Matt in a way that he knew was wrong but he couldn’t help it. Not when Matt was being so kind to him. “Not again, ever…”



He didn’t cry, but embraced Matt as Matt turned to hold him. They lay like that until Matt spoke. “I’m not sure I can promise that…I want to, I have to protect you. Even if I didn’t, my body reacts on its own…”



“But why? Why me and why now?” This was something that Chris was most confused about. He was confused about his newfound reactions to Matt but he was mostly confused as to the why. Why would Matt want him?



Matt’s end was quiet for a while then he spoke. “I have asked that a few times but I can’t find it. I just know I’m sure of one thing.” Matt took a breath, unable to decide if he should even say it and after thinking about it he said “I’ll tell you another time. For now though, we’ll go to sleep. We’ve had a long day.”



Matt pressed his lips to Chris’ head and left them there, falling asleep long before Chris. The slow breathing ruffled his hair and he listened to it like a light wind. It reminded him of a time he remembered long ago when his mother was there and they were all happy. Slipping off, he floated through dreams that looked like fading photographs in his mind. To Chris, that’s all they ever were anymore.





The next day in the hallways, Chris heard whispers fly back and forth between people.



“I heard he got in a bar fight.”



“No, he got in a car crash. The one he drove to school in was a rental…”



Some made him smirk but he was worried the real story would make it to his friends. They hadn’t said

anything in third period but who knew how long it would be before the true one got out or Matt got in trouble for one of the false ones? After fourth period, he said good bye to Mat and hurried down the halls, trying to avoid Sam. He didn’t feel like speaking with him, or anyone for that matter.



“Chris! Wait, Chris!” Sam ran down the hall to catch up with him. Once he did, he had to hold a fast pace to keep up with him. “Slow down! I need to talk to you.”



When he didn’t slow down, Sam grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, “I said wait dammit! You and I haven’t been quite honest with each other over the years and its about time we started to. We were both wrong and now its out there and we need to talk. I’m you’re friend and I’m worried about you. I always have.”



Chris looked at him and shrugged his hands off, nodding. “Sorry.”



They both sat down and Chris told him about how the trial went, up until the time on the balcony. Sam listened and when Chris finished he asked, “What happened to Mr. Heights?”



“Out on the balcony, my dad came out, got pissed off at me and when he went to attack me, Matt got in the way.”



Sam’s eyes lit up in surprise. “Looks pretty bad for just one punch.”



Chris sighed and his voice was barely above a mumble. “It didn’t stop as one. He beat him a hell of a lot…like he used to beat me.”



Sam looked down, remembering the bruises, cuts, things that Chris would blame on being clumsy.



“And that’s not the worst of it. His entire chest is black and blue all over, clear to his arms.” Chris covered his face, “He held me behind him so I wouldn’t get hurt, but I watched and it still hurt. I can’t figure out why and it pisses me off!”



Sam looked ahead and thought a minute before saying, “You can’t decided. You can’t decide what or who you are.”



“I know…” He replied, staring at him. “I know that I’m not gay.”



Sam eyed him. “Are you so sure about that? You’ve let him kiss you, haven’t you? How many times?”



Chris felt taken back, like he was being falsly accused by this question. “More, or-or less…a few…” He managed before he fell silent, slightly uncomfortable talking about what went on between Matt and him.



Sam sighed. “Well, you have an answer right there…”



“What?”



“You still don’t see it? Geez you’re dense sometimes…The biggest part of a relationship, any kind of relationship, is whether you’re inclined to the relationship or not. By letting him kiss you, and repeatedly I might add, you’ve proven you’re not adverse to the notion or the attraction, not in your body anyways. So if you’re body is willing, all that’s left is whether you can accept it or not. I think you do have feelings for him, slight feelings…” Chris was about to object but Sam put his hand up and he shut his mouth, “And if you really think about it, you’ll know what I’m saying is true. It’s not that you don’t want to be drawn to him. It’s that your scared. Youre scared that you’ve got feelings for a guy and that you’ll fall for him someday and face up to everything you are.”



Sam was quiet for a moment, letting it sink in. He looked at Chris and watched him mull in it for that moment he didn’t say anything. “I’m not sure what Matt wants from you, but I have a feeling he’s not using you for a quick fuck. If he seriously wants something from you, its not fair to make someone wait because you’re scared or trying to fool yourself you can’t decide. If you don’t want to pursue anything with him, and you end up making him hang onto you for nothing, all you’ll end up doing is breaking his spirit and him. I can see he does care for you. There’s something about the way he looks at you when he sees you in or out of class. Its not a leering look or anything, just, there’s care in the way he looks at you.”



Chris thought about it and knew he was right. A few teachers walked by with their lunches from the cafeteria and Matt was among them. He waved and smiled at him and when he looked into his eyes, Chris saw that care that Sam was talking about. Chris waved back and watched them pass. Chris felt a piece of himself slip by and leave too. He held onto it as long as he could, but without much effort, it slipped passed and seemed to follow Matt down the hallway, like it was attracted to him. He smiled, “Where’d you get all of this philosophical shit anyways?”



With a smile that was almost a smirk, he replied, “I had the same lecture a while back.”



Chris’ smile faded as Sam got up and said something about getting something to eat. As they left, Chris realized just how confused he had become. What is that supposed to mean? Is he…? He looked at Sam and watched him a bit. No, he can’t be…They joined the rest of the group and while Sam delved right into the conversation, Chris stood back and watched, wondering. Not only about Sam but about himself, about everyone he knew. Could Evan and them be gay, too? Could they tell that Sam was? What about his other teachers? Sam noticed him standing off and dragged him to follow with the rest of the group to sneak off campus so Evan and the two other guys could smoke. Watching him, the way he walked, the way he talked, Chris could imagine it. But it cant happen. Not with Sam.



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Ok...so ya this was my frist GuyXGuy story so I was a bit dull on how a guy feels when he's trying to figure out his sexuality but I hope you like it all the same :D Leave reviews and I promise to try harder next time on getting chapters up :D



Ja ne! ^.^V