Tears

Chapter - Three


"Fuck!" I screamed. I pulled out my gun as fast as I could hearing gun fires. I ran into the gang of men, trying to fight with Ren and Ichigo. I saw Jin, Daisuke, and Himeko running in after me. I shot my gun randomly, not really picking a target. That's when I felt a pair of huge arms pull me up. Fuck! They got me! Next thing I knew it, I was outside on the ground. That was a hitman? "You guys are banned from Tonic! Don't ever come back!" Ren was screaming, saying that they were the ones that started it and that we shouldn’t be banned. I saw at least three police cars as I struggled to stand up. I felt a sharp pain in the back of my shoulder. I clenched, holding my shoulder. What is this wetness on my back? I pulled my hand to my face and my eyes widened. Blood. I've been stabbed!


I felt a hand on my un-wounded shoulder and I snapped my head that way. It was Jin. "Kyoharu! You've been shot?" he asked. "Stabbed." I said, looking away and acting like it was no big deal. My shoulder hurts like a bitch! Those assholes are gonna pay! "You gotta go to a hospital!" I rolled my eyes. Im not hurt bad enough to go to the hospital. "No, I'm fine." I explained. "Here. Let me help you up." He took my hand and started tugging me. Once I was on my feet, my legs felt like jello. I almost fell over but Jin caught me, swinging my arm over his shoulder. "Sir, he needs to stay. The paramedic will be here shortly," the police officer explained. Fuck you, man! I'm fine! "He's okay. I just need to take him home." Jin walked away with me staggering next to him, ignoring the police officer. By that time, I blacked out.


I woke up to Jin's face hovering over mine. I swat his head away, covering my face. "What the hell man!?" I screamed. Jin rubbed his cheek, angrily."Is that the way you greet everyone after they help you?"
"I'm in a lot of pain right now. Please just lay off." Jin shook his head. "Sorry for trying to help." He stood up, heading for the door. "Wait." What the hell? Why am I stopping him? I sighed. "Don't leave." I looked away, a faint blush over my cheeks. He smiled! It was very small but he smiled! "Don’t smile!"
"Okay, I wount."
"You're still smiling!"
"Im sorry! I cant help it!"
That asshole. Shut up! My cellphone made a beeping sound. Damn. Another text message? I flipped open my cell phone and looked at the message. It read:


Kyoharu. Practice 2day. Come over as quick as u can. - Kinkachi


Damn. Practice? Didn't we have practice yesterday? Well..... not quite but..... oh damn. "I gotta go. Practice." I stood up and put my cellphone in my pocket. Shit! I held onto my shoulder in pain. "It's the 4th of July today. Would you come with me somewhere to see the fireworks?" I looked at Jin like he was crazy. "The fireworks?" I havent seen fireworks in ages. July 4th is just another day according to me. "Whatever." I saw a glimpse of Jin's smiling face before leaving for practice.


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"I'm not late so don't bitch at me."
"No one was gonna bitch at you." Jouji explained. I sighed and grabbed the microphone from it's stand. "When are we gonna practice?" I asked. I wanted to make this quick. "Kyoharu! Oh my god! You're shoulder!" Powder screamed. What? I looked back behind me, seeing a blotch of red seeping through my shirt. Fuck! When did that happen? Kinkachi rushed over to me. "What the hell happened?" He took my arm and rushed me into the bathroom.


"Man, theres blood all over your shoulder." He pulled out the first aid kit out of the medicine cabinet. "I was stabbed yesterday."
"You were!? Dont you know we have a gig in four days?"
"Four days!?" Shit! It's Monday!? We are not ready at all! "Fuck! Bandage me up quick! We need to practice!" Kinkachi did what I ordered and within 5 minutes, we were all at our positions. "Are we ready!?" I asked into the microphone. I counted to four and we were off. Drums blasting with the rythmns or the bass and guitars. We sounded like shit. Must have been one of our worst yet! After finishing our eighth song, I was sweating like a bitch. My hair was sticking on my face and there was sweat dripping down my back. "God, Im tired." I plopped down on the couch. Fuck! Aah! Goddamn it all to hell! I held onto my shoulder and relaxed into the couch. It was hitting three o'clock. We still had alot of practicing to do since we practically ditched yesterday. "There's no time for breaks. You can have a break after we're done with the twelth song." Jouji announced. Damn it! Doesnt he know how much I'm working myself? I have a wounded fucking shoulder! Cant I have a couple seconds to rest!? Fuck it. I got off of the couch and grabbed the mic. We started practicing again.


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"Fuck!" I was supposed to meet up with Jin a half hour ago! It's almost dark! I was running through the ankle tall grass. This place was near the bridge and the lake. It was pretty cold and I didnt bring a jacket. Oh well. It doesnt even matter. Is that Jin? Yes! I spotted Jin near the bridge, laying down on a blanket. "I'm so sorry Im late. Practice was longer than I expected." I explained. "No. It's alright. You're just in time for the fireworks." He had a small smirk planted on his face. What is he planning? I sat on the blanket next to Jin and he sat up. Wow.... he's getting kinda close. Did he just stroke me arm? "Kyoharu. You're cold. Why didnt you bring a jacket?" Is this his way of an excuse to get close? "I didnt think I needed one...." He pulled me close into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. What the fuck!? "Now you'll be all warm." I did'nt pull away. He was pretty warm and it was cold outside. "Who else is coming?" I asked. He smiled. "Only us. I needed to speak to you about something." Fuck. He's gonna confess to me is more like it! I heared a big boom sound coming from above me. I yanked out my gun and started pointing. "Who's there!? Who's there!?" Jin laughed. "It's the fireworks. Look." I looked up. Damn you gangster reflexes! Shit! Theres one! It's so pretty. "Kyoharu." Jin whispered. I was watching the fireworks go off like a turkey watches the rain. I was totally hypnotized by the sight that I could take my eyes off of it. "Kyoharu, look at me." I turned my head. Jin was staring right into my eyes. He gentally stroked my cheek and then pulled me into a soft kiss. My eyes were as wide as circles. Why is this happening? I pulled away, looking at him with confusion. "I really like you.".


I couldnt believe what was happening. I can't love. I can't! I will just end up getting hurt again. "No..." I muttered softly, covering my mouth. I shook my head in disbelief. "No!" I ran away. "This cant be happening! This cant be happening!" I looked behind me. Fuck! He's running after me! I tried my hardest to speed up but I failed to get away. He grabbed me from behind, making me yelp. "Kyoharu! Dont run away!" I squirmed. I didnt care if my shoulder opens up. As long as I get away from Jin. I shook my head. "You can't love me."
"Why not!?"
"Cause Im not getting hurt anymore!"
"You can't be afraid of love! You cant keep living your life isolating yourself from the people around you!"
"It's been pretty good so far!" I pulled away from Jin's grasp. "I dont need to love anyone! I'm happy alone! Love has done nothing but hurt me in the end!"
"There needs to be hurt for there to be love!" I shut up. "There is no such thing as love without hurt. It all depends on whether the person you love is worth it all." I was speechless. He's right. Damn it. I ran away.


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"Kyoharu?" I passed Ichigo, not wanting him to see me like this. He'll just get all mushy on me again. I closed the door to the living space. I collapsed onto the couch. My heart was pounding through my chest. Sweat was dripping down the side of my face and my cheeks were red. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Once I put the filter between my lips, Ichigo came in. Doesnt he know I didnt reply to him because I didnt want to talk? "What?" I asked, blowing out the smoke. Ichigo looked so surprised. Why? "I thought you were going to meet Jin." I scowled. "Change of fucking plans!" I yelled, inhailing from the end of the cancer stick as much as I could. "He confessed didnt he?" What!? Was he in on this!? "How did you know?" I asked hazardly. Ichigo walked over to me, sitting by my feet. "He asked me about how to tell you." I fucking knew it! "What a great fucking day this is. Six hours of practicing and a love confession. This day can't get any worse." The door to the living space flew open. "No more running away!" Jin screamed, huffing. I looked at Ichigo. "I stand corrected."
"Kyoharu. This is crazy. If you dont like me just tell me."
"I do like you." Jin's face was priceless. A face of shock and confusion. I wanted to laugh but I kept it in. "You mean..... you do like me?"
"Yes." Shit. No he got me confessing. "I dont get it. You like me but you wount be with me?"
"Nope."
"Uhmm...."
"So Ichigo, how are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Kyoharu!"
"What!?"
"This is nonsence! If you like me too, let get together!"
"No."
"Gah! This is going nowhere!" Jin left pulling at him hair. "You like him?" Ichigo asked. Yeah. I like him. "So?" I asked. "So!? Go out with him!"
"No way. Im not going to risk another person falling in love with me." Ichigo didnt say anything. He just looked down. "I guess you're right." I left the room. I had to take a piss real bad. I opened the door to the bathroom and saw Chihiro with her head above the toilet. "Chihiro? Are you okay?" Her head jumped up and looked at me with big eyes. "K-Kyoharu... I think I'm...." My eyes widened. No way. "Oh my god," was all I was able to mutter. I rushed over to Chihiro and hugged her. "Are you sure? You have to tell Ren!" Chihiro shook her head. "I cant tell him."
"What? Why not?"
"He would never accept it."
"Tell him when you are positive, okay?" She nodded and I let her go. "Thank you, Kyoharu," She smiled. I smiled back. "You better not tell him." I laughed and agreed.


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It's now two days before the big gig. I just finished practicing with the band and Kinkachi and I are talking. "I told Reito."
"You did!?" I was shocked. I never expected Kinkachi to actually tell someone he liked them. He gets that from his older brother I guess. "He turned me down." Kinkachi looked down. He looked so sad. "I'm sorry, Kinkachi. Maybe he'll come to his sences and realize that he is deeply in love with you too!" He scowled at me. I apologized. "Hey. Why dont I take you over to visit Ichigo?" Kinkachi smiled. "You would really do that?" He asked. I nodded and we were off to the headquarters.


"Hey Ichigo! I have someone here who wants to see you!" Ichigo looked back from the couch. When Kinkachi walked in, a big smile stretched from ear to ear. "Kinkachi!" Ichigo beamed, hugging Kinkachi tightly. "You got another eyebrow piercing? Dont you have enough?"

"Look who's talking!" Kinkachi laughed and hugged Ichigo back. "It's so great to see you! Hows college?" Kinkachi stopped and looked down. "Okay." Kinkachi lived here before he went off to college. Ichigo and Kinkachi are best friends and got matching piercings all over their face. Ichigo pulled Kinkachi's face up and looked into his eyes. "What's wrong? Boy troubles?" Kinkachi pouted angerily. "I told this guy I liked him and he turned me down."Ichigo patted Kinkachi's head. "Everything will be alright." Kinkachi nodded and looked down. "How about I take you out somewhere?" Ichigo asked. Kinkachi smiled brightly. "That's exactly what I need!" And they were off. I sighed. Im hungery. They should have invited me.


When I turned around, I jumped. Damn it! "Jin! How long were you behind me?" He shrugged his shoulders in response. I gave him my evilest look. Maybe that will scare him off. "Why cant we be together?" This again? "Cause I'm hungery and you're in the way," I replied. I swerved around him, walking pretty quickly. "Tell me the real reason!" I looked back at him meanicingly. "You wanna know the reason?" "Yeah!" He said. I had to come up with a lie and quick. "I like someone else more!" Jin's eyes widened. "Who?" Fuck. I was hoping he wouldnt ask that. Erm... "Ren." Why him!? Goddamnit! He's a bastard! "Oh, I see," Jin replied. He looked away from me. I think it worked! "But, Ren isnt gay." Ugh. Okay. Time for my acting skills. "Dont act like I dont know that, you asshole! You are so unsensitive!" I ran away fake sobbing. Did it work? I looked back. Fuck. Now he's all sad.


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"Ten minutes!"

It's almost time for the big gig that we were practicing for days for. The band Hoplessly just got off stage and we are up next. This must be our biggest gig yet. I havent seen so many people cheering. Okay. I got on stage and checked the mics. "Check, check." I said. "I love you Kyoharu!" I heard a girl scream in a high pitch voice. Jouji laughed and nudged me in the ribs. I growled at him and I witnessed Kinkachi tuning his guitar. There is something diffrent about him. He hasnt talked since the day he left with Ichigo. Is that what the deal is? Ichigo? Oh well. Its none of my business anyway. "Are you guys ready?" I asked into the microphone. The crowd screamed and we began. We did great till the forth song. In the middle of singing I spotted someone I wish I hadnt. Korohachi's best friend Ringo. Why is that bastard here? With his multicolored bandana and spiked ass yellow hair. I cant believe he's here, enjoying the sound of my beautiful voice! "Ringo!" I screamed. Powder gave me a look of confusion. I snarled. "What the fuck are you doing here!?" I caught his attention and he pointed at himself with confusion. "Yeah you, ya fucking parakeet! How dare you come to my show! I'll kill you!" I jumped off stage, pulling out my gun and loading a magazine inside. Everyone started screaming and running away from me. They are so afraid.


"You're crazy!" Ringo screamed in fright. "Fuck you!" I waved my gun right infront of him. "You have no idea how fucking angery I am!" Everyone around us was backed away in a circle with their hands half way up. "You do not come near me without a fucking bullet through your fucking brain!" I screamed. My crooked teeth were showing beneath my scowl. I was angery as hell. That asshole has the nerve to even be in my presents. "Oh yeah?" He pulled out a pocket knife and flipped the blade. My eyes widened. "You cant scare me you fucking asshole!" He lundged at me, pointing his blade at my chest. I chenched my teeth and pulled the trigger. His head flew back, blood spewing out of his wounds. Everybody screamed, some holding their mouths, some their stomaches. His blood was splattered across my face. I looked down at his corpse. He died with his eyes open. Weird. I heard sirens so I ran for it. I ran into the dressing room, hoping there was no one there. Just my luck, the whole band.


"Kyoharu! How could you!?" Powder exclaimed. "We're in deep shit," Ryouken murmurred, biting his nails nervously. Fuck. Jouji spotted me.Jouji angerily walked up to me and punched me in the face. The fucker has some nerve. "What the fuck is you're problem?" I asked rubbing my cheek. "My problem!? You just killed a fucking person infront of hundereds of people, you idiot! I cant believe you!"
"You wouldnt understand."

"I wouldnt understand? It doesnt matter wether I understand or not! The only thing that really matters is that you understand this. You're out of the band!" My eyes widened. Kinkachi, Powder, and Ryouken looked surprised also. "You cant be serious, Jouji." Powder said in shock. "Im completely and utterly serious. Fuck you, Kyoharu. You're done." Jouji walked out, stomping his feet. "He's just mad, Kyo. You're still our--" "No." I cut off Ryouken. "Im sorry, guys. He's right. I dont think I would be able to show my face as a vocalist ever again."

"No! You have to be a part of Panic Attack! You just have to!" Powder begged. "I made up my mind. I'm leaving." I left the dressing room. There were reporters screaming in my ears with questions. I had to get out of there. I ran. I ran away from everyone. My band, my friends, a part of me. I ran as far as I could.