Untitled

The sun wakes her the next morning, intruding through her window and shining right in her eyes. She blinks awake, realizing where she was she turns to the window and asks the sun why it shines so bright.
Without an answer she gets up and quietly pads through the house, this time eyes open. It doesn’t matter the memories will force their way in whether her eyes are open or closed; she’s resigned herself to that fact. She makes herself a cup of coffee she shrugs off the bit of guilt that tells her not to drink it. After getting the coffee and adding the sugar and milk to it she sits down at the kitchen table with the piece of paper from her pocket. She presses down on it and tries hard to straighten it out again so that she can read it again. Not that she has to read it, she’s read it so many times she has it memorized.
Unidentified man found dead of self inflicted gunshot wound in hotel room 321.
That’s the only line of the whole article that she needs to remember. She shakes her head and the tears start rolling down her cheeks. She’s not past the ‘why’ stage, everyday for the last 4 months she’s asked herself why, she asked all of her friends and family why so often that they don’t tend to call anymore. She feels so alone not being able to talk to anyone.
She slowly drinks her coffee and lights a cigarette, again pushing away the guilty feeling out of her head. She stares at the article but doesn’t read it any more. She can’t dwell on it anymore she has other things to worry about. Even though it never said his name in the article it happened three days after he left, she had figured it out after it first happened that traveling wise that’s approximately where he would have ended up in that time.
That and it had been four months since he left and she’d not heard from him, no one had heard from him. In her head she starts to ask why again and stops herself. She stands up and scolds herself, if she doesn’t stop asking why she’s going to drive herself crazy. She sighs and heads to the bathroom, cigarette still burning in the ashtray, coffee still steaming away on the table. She strips off her clothes and steps into the bath tub, turning on the water for a shower. The spray of hot water instantly starts to clear her mind as soon as it hits her, loosening her tight shoulder muscles, she rubs each shoulder alternately with each hand. She didn’t realize how knotted up she had become, but then again this was a new experience for her so she wasn’t sure what was normal and what wasn’t. She washes up and after rinsing she just stands with the hot water pounding down on her back, enjoying the sensation of the water running down her body and loosening some of the knots she didn’t know she had.
She steps back out of the tub and dries herself off while looking at herself in the full length mirror attached to the shower door. Her belly grumbles, she looks down at it and agrees that she needs to find something to eat. She wanders back out to the kitchen and opens the fridge, wrinkling her nose at the fact that something inside of it is way past its prime. She grabs a couple of eggs and prays that she can keep them down, putting a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster that look like they were about to die like the stuff in the fridge. She cooks up a couple of the eggs and butters the toast. Sitting down to eat she pushes the ashtray and newspaper article away from her place, sticks her finger in the coffee to see if it’s still warm, finding that it is she starts in on the eggs, piling them onto the toast and taking a bite of it washing it all down with a sip of coffee. She eats it slowly, it’s been a few meals since she’s eaten anything and she doesn’t want it coming back up.

After finishing up her breakfast she pushes the plate away and leans back in her chair, after finishing her coffee she lights another cigarette. Sitting there in the chair with her feet up on the chair across from her she looks out the window and watches the birds fly up to the bird feeder, look for food, find none and fly away. She chews on her thumb nail while staring out the window, cigarette between her fore and middle fingers. She goes over the events of the night before, realizing that it was one of her ‘bad days’ and convinces herself that she needs to stop walking around town at all hours of the night now. She puffs lazily on the cigarette, exhaling and making little smoke rings.
She takes the cigarette to the bedroom with her as she goes to put some clothes on, slipping into a pair of black cotton panties and a long grey t-shirt and slipping her feet into her sandals, she goes back out to the kitchen and sits back down at the table taking a long drag on the end of her cigarette, she butts out the cigarette as she exhales.
She goes to the pantry to get the bird seed, once inside she looks up and sees that it’s still on the top shelf. She sighs sadly and shakes her head, refusing to cry over the fact that she can’t reach the bird seed and remember how he used to tease her every time she’d call him away from the TV to come and get it down for her. She goes back out to the kitchen and comes back dragging a chair into the pantry, climbing up and getting the bird seed. No use having the birds starve. She grabs a cup out of the cupboard and fills it with some birdseed before heading out the door to fill the feeder. She manages to get most of it into the feeder but since it’s just beyond her reach she spilled some due to being on her tip toes. She shrugs when she’s finished and goes back inside. She makes herself another cup of coffee and goes to sit back down at the table, but instead of pulling the chair out she puts the palms of her hands on the table as if bracing herself or holding herself up.

She stands there watching the birds through the window her hands flat on the table wearing only her house coat and nothing else and he walks up behind her running his hands down her shoulders and sliding them down her arms. He leans into her and wraps his arms around her waist from behind and rests his chin on her left shoulder, he whispers in her ear how much he enjoyed his breakfast and how he’d like to show her just how much he enjoyed it. She chuckles at him calling him insatiable, closing her eyes as she feels his fingers undo the belt of her house coat, it falls open in the front. He slides his hands up and down her belly, brings them up to her breasts, cupping them, he loves her big tits, he loves fondling them and teasing them. She doesn’t move to give him better access, playing hard to get. He playfully pinches her nipples and massages her breasts. He kisses the back of her neck, blowing a little bit on the little hairs on her neck making her shiver a little. She mmm’s at the feeling. His left hand stays up at her breasts as his right hand trails down the front of her belly and lightly caresses her pussy lips. She lets out a breath that she’s been holding. Opening her eyes she turns her head to the right and meets his lips with hers just over her right shoulder, their tongues entwine, teasing each other, probing softly around in each others mouths, tasting the faint taste of coffee on each others lips. She gives a little moan while they’re kissing for his finger has found its way between her nether lips and is slowly circling her clit very gently. She gasps a little as her clit starts to get engorged; he dips his finger inside her to get his finger a little wet and goes back to rubbing small gentle circles around and on her clit. He can feel her getting more and more, moist as his finger circles the little swollen nub. Her kissing becomes more urgent and passionate. She turns around to face him, he only pauses for a moment so she can turn then goes right back to playing with her clit and kissing her. Stopping only long enough to tell her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her. She moans into his kiss and brings her arms up around his neck. He continues kissing her but stops playing with her swollen little nub, grabs her ass and lifts her up to his hips, she wraps her legs around him and gives him a full body hug as he walks them into the bedroom. Laying her down on her back on the bed, he takes a moment to just drink in her beauty as she lays there. Lowering himself on top of her, he murmurs to her about how much he loves her and how he never wants to be without her, as she answers him back by echoing the words back to him he gently slides his dick into her silky pussy she finishes her sentence with a gasp and a look of pure desire fills her eyes and he smiles down at her, loving the look on her face as he slides himself in and out of her. She makes little mewling sounds as she lifts her hips to meet with his as he pumps slowly in and out of her. She holds him close to her, hands on the small of his back, helping her get leverage to thrust her hips upwards. She tries to get every inch of him into her. He leans all his weight onto his one arm and reaches up to move a stray piece of hair off of her face; he lowers his face to hers for another kiss after he’s moved the hair.
After a few minutes of leisurely stroking in and out of her he feels that invisible urge to go faster, that feeling deep inside that tells him that he wants to cum inside of her warm wet pussy. She feels him starting to speed up and changes her rhythm to keep up with him. Their breathing changes, it also starts speeding up now that their lovemaking has increased as well. She whispers in his ear how she loves the feel of him inside her and he groans in assent and bites his bottom lip, he tells her how good she feels and how much he wants to cum inside of her. She smiles up at him and teases only if he’ll kiss her while he does it. He chuckles and captures her mouth with his again and starts to speed up his thrusting again, she widens her legs and keeps up with him, kissing him passionately she moans into his mouth as she feels his dick twitch every now and then. He feels her pussy squeeze him as she starts to build up to her climax, he breaks their kiss long enough to whisper in her ear that he wants her to cum for him, just hearing him say it she starts to take that step over the edge, she starts panting faster and her breaths come out with little moans. He encourages her on telling her to not stop that he wants to hear her cum for him. She can’t help it her head thrown back she moans out his name has he squishes in and out of her wet pussy, driving him straight into his own orgasm as he hears her pray to god after moaning his name her pussy clamps down on his dick and he takes off on his own orgasm, he yells her name and captures her mouth again with his and they moan into one another’s mouths as she feels the warm liquid fill her as he cums inside her. They whisper to one another how much they love hearing each other cum and drift off for a midday nap curled in each others arms.