The Legend of Serpia

Chapter 4: Planet of the Assholes



The next morning we were awakened by a knock on our door. Zorion walked into the room and stopped about 5 feet from the door.

"Why are you guys naked?! Wait… last night… you didn't… no way… did you?"

" No, Zorion, we have some morals, after all. I can't believe we tricked the guards."

"How the hell did you trick them? I thought you guys were goners for sure… I was sure you two would get caught lying."

"Heh, Zorion you know me better than that. All we had to do was take off our clothes, climb into bed and make some noise. They walked right in and were convinced we were doing it. You should have seen the look on their faces."

While the guys were talking, I noticed Hydra walk to the door. She beckoned to me from the hall. It did not look good. I left without either Seth or Zorion noticing.

"Hydra? What the hell is going on?"

" Come with me, Serpia. We need somewhere private to talk."

We said no more but went to the nearest empty room and closed the door.

"OK girl. Spill. What's going on…?"



She started to bawl. " He… forced… me…."

I knew just from the way she said it that we were talking about a rape case. Whoever the hell dared do this to my best friend better be pretty damned scared… they were about to face the wrath of a pissed off Jeitan warrior princess. God help them.

"Who, Hydra? Who did it to you?"

" It was… it was…" She looked around and then leaned closer to me as if she was going to tell me secret information that could cost us our lives. "It was Zorion and Oberon…"

"Zorion AND Oberon? How? Hydra, I need to know exactly what happened last night."

" I went to go to the bathroom, since our room didn't have one, and Zorion and Oberon were standing at your door talking to the guards. I hid behind that big potted tree in the hall. I started to eavesdrop on them and I heard Zorion tell them that he knew for a fact that you weren't mates and that the noise coming from in your room was a trick. I inhaled really loudly by accident and they heard me. The guards walked into your room and Zorion came over and pulled me out from behind the tree by my hair. Zorion and Oberon dragged me to Zorion's room. Oberon left and Zorion… he… he…"

It was obvious she couldn't go on. I really couldn't blame her. I did something Jeitans don't often do… I hugged her. While she wept into my shoulder I asked her if Onyx knew. She gave me a strange look and said " Of course. He was the first person to know. I tell him everything. He says he's going to pound Zorion into a bloody pulp."

" Is he going to tell Seth?"



"No. I had to beg him not to. At least, he'd better not. What should I do, Serpia?"

"You should do nothing. I am going to kill the fuc-…"

Seth came bursting through the door.

"Serpia! There you are. I thought they might've taken you off somewhere… you scared me. Hey Hydra! How are you?"

" I am fine commander. Are we going to leave soon?"

" Yeah. Onyx says he needs to talk to me before we go… apparently it's important. So I need you two to disappear for a few minutes, ok?"

I looked at Hydra and grinned. Despite her fear of Seth finding out and her obvious pain, we had a plan. We were going to do a bit of harmless spying. Hydra and I went out into the hall and let Onyx enter. I accidentally and conveniently sent a small ki ball between the door and the doorframe as it shut, not letting it shut all the way. We were just starting to listen to their conversation when Zorion flew by at full speed. He was heading for the throne room. He had something small and rectangular in his hand. He didn't even notice us. I was tempted to go after him but important information I could later blackmail people with was too good to pass up. A few minutes later I heard footsteps, and lots of them, coming down the hall. I knew that sound very well. It was the sound of marching soldiers.

"Hydra! Move NOW!!! We've got trouble!"

Hydra and I ran about 20 feet down the hall and stopped, pretending that we were in no way associated with the men inside the room. The soldiers came down our hallway and blasted down the door. They went inside the room. There were at least 50 of them. We heard scuffling and some yelps, as well as various crashing and banging before we watched Seth and Onyx being dragged down the hall by their armpits. Seth was struggling, kicking and such, but he saw me.

" Serpia! Run! Someone's two-faced… get the ships and leave! Go! Now! Save Yourselves!"

He yelled at me until they drifted out of hearing range. I turned to Hydra.

" Hydra, round up the troops and load the ships. I'm not going to sit here and watch the guy I love die at the hands of these… these… I don't know what the hell they are. But they're gonna die. Go now. Hover 500 feet above the city. If I'm not back in 45 minutes, take the troops and continue our assault on Arilia, but only after you blow up this god damned planet."

" But Serpia… Onyx is in there to…"

"I know. And I will bring both back with me alive. Or I'll die trying. Go! Hurry!"

She took off running down the hall in the opposite direction the soldiers had gone. I prayed to Kami that I wouldn't be killed and charged after the soldiers.

Finding the guys proved easy. I just had to follow the trail of ki-blasted walls and distant shouts of death threats. I finally caught up with them. They were in the throne room. I stopped outside the door to listen to what was going on and to gather my courage. The king of these assholes spoke.

" Well, Commander Seth of Novajita. You succeeded in making an idiot of the king of the Suriujis. Well done. You tricked me. I know damn well that Princess Serpia, if she is indeed princess Serpia, is not your mate… one of your own men told me. Look on the bright side… you'll never have to lie to anyone again when your body is in pieces. Prepare to die, Commander!"

The king rushed at him with a sword, preparing to slice Seth's throat. I couldn't bear it. I tore through the doors screaming. I rushed for the throne but the soldiers met me halfway. They surrounded me and closed in, crushing me. Seth screaming my name, Onyx sobbing and the Suriuji king laughing drove me over the edge. I put my arms to my face and screamed at the top of my lungs. Suddenly my power surged. My hair got even more spiky and turned into an intense red color. My eyes narrowed and turned gray with shards of blood red. My aura surrounded me once more. I let off a small ki shock wave and killed all the soldiers near me. Everyone stared at me. The king dropped him sword and started to back away. Seth stopped yelling my name and actually looked scared and Onyx even stopped him senseless whimpering. I walked forwards, towards the king.

" So, your royal highness… whose body is going to be in pieces? Seth may have made you look like an idiot, but I'll make you look like Sushi. Die now. Bye bye."

I let off a one-handed ki blast that ripped the king into a million pieces. I then blasted small, laser-li ke ki beams through the heads of the 4 dumbstruck soldiers holding Onyx and Seth. Seth rushed forwards and hugged me.

"You're a Chaos Jeitan, Serpia. You've done it. You've saved us. Lets go home."

Seth blasted through the roof of the palace and picked me up. Onyx and Seth, with me in his arms, flew up to the waiting ships. We reached the control deck door and could hear the cheering inside and in every space ship in the air. Our men were genuinely happy to see us alive and well. Hydra opened the door for us and grinned at us. Before I went inside the ship I faced the planet once more.

"Screw the Suriujis. What a name. I dub thee planet of the Assholes."



I used an ancient Jeitan move, the death ball, and threw it down into the planet. We had less than 2 minutes to clear the planet's gravity before my ball reached the core and blew the planet apart. We slammed the door shut and Seth and I headed for the main controls. We put on the thrusters and zoomed into the safe depths of outer space. We watched the doomed planet explode. It was beautiful. Seth put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me tight to his body, not caring who saw. After the light show was over we turned around to find Onyx and Hydra making out at the main controls. Seth shook his head.

"Can't you guys wait until you guys get bonded? It'll only be a couple of months…"

Onyx' eyes flashed dangerously. " Screw that. I'm taking her as my mate right now."

He picked Hydra up and carried her to the doors leading to his quarters. She giggled as she waved to me while being carried off. I waved back and turned to Seth. He had a look of longing in his eyes. He looked down at me and smiled. " You know, I'd do that right now too, take you as my mate. But you're a Jeitan princess and I highly doubt your father wants me to just take you without his permission, let alone a big public ceremony." He leaned over and put his forehead against mine. "But, hey, let's look on the bright side. At least we won't have to move in together… I mean, we already share a bed for god's sake!" We both laughed and got back to work. Romance would come later. Right now we had work to do. We had 10,000 ships to command.