My story

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Walking home from the club should be a fairly uneventful and not particularly noteworthy occurrence. But more and more recently it was changing. Out of all of us, she decided to walk with me. I mean really, she walked with me; I had to bite my lip just to make sure it was real. Satisfied with the slight wince of pain I smiled inwardly even though we all shivered in the December winds.

“You ok Vez?” Alex turned to my blank expectant face, that look of concern on her face made me want to wrap my arms around her and promise that nothing could ever go wrong.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

She just smiled and shrugged as we continued. And then something happened, something that broke all of my resolve. It was only the small sober percentage that stopped me. I felt it against my hand, it was hers. Her fingers intertwined with mine, a small squeeze brought me back from my inner monologue. Yeah this was real, and what’s more, no one blinked an eyelid. Maybe they just couldn’t see, after all the sleeves from my trench were pretty long.

Something so simple, and so ordinary and yet so beautiful. I thought that nothing could have spoiled the moment, but then I wasn’t always right. Another group of people were making their way up the same path. I could hear the sniggers and the jibes already. But something I heard them say just didn’t click. They thought I was a man; oh this was going to be interesting. If I just didn’t speak, maybe this would all blow over.

“Hey, hey sweet stuff,” The look of pure disgust on Alex’s face was undeniable, “What’s a good looking thing like you doing with a bunch of losers like those?” I felt the anger rise up in me.

“Watch it Matt, I think her little goth boy’s getting all pissy!”

A loud roaring laughter came from the drunken teens. I heard the guys behind me move forwards, and stop? Why had they stopped? I felt that squeeze on my hand again, so many things said in one action. I knew it was going to be ok, just as long as I kept cool. However, this didn’t appear as if it was going to last much longer.

The largest dolt lurched forwards until his face was centimetres from mine. I could smell the stink of beer and cigarettes just from the air that circulated. But oh God when he breathed on me I nearly retched.

“Don’t tell me out of all the fellas in this town you picked this one?” I slipped my hand from the comfort of hers; leaning back I brought my head down firmly on the bridge of his nose. He stumbled back yelling out and trying to catch the blood in his hands.

“That’s enough!” All faces turned to me,

“It’s a fucking girl! A pair of bloody dykes!” They all went to move forwards, but the fool with the broken nose fell back on them.

“Just push off and leave her alone.” My voice boomed with authority and Dutch courage.

I stepped forward shifting my weight from foot to foot in anxiety, I cracked the bones in my neck in preparation. I was ready for this fight. And then I felt it again, that warm comfort in my hand, the pressure of her body against mine. She was speaking I was sure of it, “Let’s just go ok, it’s really not worth it Vez. Please, let’s just go.”

My features softened as I let go of the breath I had no idea I has holding. She led the way around the group that were still trying in vain to stem the nose bleed. The guys behind took up the pace as we returned. I finally began to calm down until I could hear someone running towards us. I could feel a growl in my throat as I released her; I inhaled deeply as I span so fast my coat floated around my legs. My fists balled and ready, my eyes dead straight and emotionless.

The moron stopped in his tracks not sure whether to continue or run away with his tail between his legs. I held my posture, commanding and unafraid. Even when I felt her pull on my arm I wouldn’t move, not this time. They were asking for it, they had insulted her, they had baited me. And like the animalistic creature that I am I took it, win or lose they were going to know they had been in a fight tonight.

He readily made his decision and mirrored my pose in an attempt to intimidate me. She pulled on my arm again, this time I looked at her. My cold eyes met hers, the fear I saw hurt me. What was she scared of, this or me? No, it wasn’t fear, it was something but she wasn’t afraid. A smile spread across her lips, she wasn’t going to let me fight, but she’d let me keep my pride. She latched herself well and truly on me still in the gaze of the drunkard.

She tussled her hair and undid her coat a little to give a hint to the very little that she wore underneath. Her right hand at the back of my head stroking her nails through my short hair. My impression was failing, her left across my abdomen as she positioned herself under my left arm. I held her possessively still staring at the man who was now ogling her.

“You want some of this?” She implied herself to the obviously excited moron. He nodded panting like a dog in heat. She smiled and held onto me closer. “Well, you’re going to have to go through her,” His face shot up to mine again as the growl escaped my throat. I could have sworn I heard him yelp as he ran away.

The contact between us had become unbearable. I was going to have to let her go, else ravage her in the street. And as much as her display could mislead you, Alex did not play that game. But she was certainly playing this one, and very well. She kept a firm hold until we turned the corner to our apartment blocks. I let her go in silence, I winced at the loss; but it was for her own good. I heard her laughing with the guys and I’m pretty sure I heard a few jibes or commendations. Not sure what.

We entered the lifts, and pressed the buttons for our respective floors. I waved my good byes as I left the lift and made my way to my room. My inner musings blanked out the soft padding of footsteps behind me. But as I turned the key in my lock I saw her out of the corner of my eye, ignoring her I entered. Lo and behold she crept in as the door idled to a close. She thought she had done it, as she released her breath I turned on her.

“Don’t you have your own bed to go to?” I pinned her against the wall by my door. I was already riled; I didn’t need any more encouragement. She winced trying to predict my move. Bless her; she had only known me for two months. Enough to trust me as a friend, but not enough to second guess me. I held her wrists in my hands as my eyes questioned her.

“So is this what happens to all the girls that come to your room?” there was a little bit of spite in her jibe, the venom hit me and once more I crumbled. I let her go and moved away breathing deeply in an effort to calm my beating heart. Undoing my coat I tossed it into the corner, I unbuttoned my cuffs in silence as she stood leaning against my wall.

“Look Alex, I don’t wanna talk about it ok, when I get like this, I’m not really much fun to be around. I’m sorry if my antics ruined your evening.” I tried to add some closure to it, to make her leave even if that’s not what my body wanted.

“You know they’re wrong don’t you?” I raised my head to look at her, “About what they said.” I still was confused. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

“I don’t quite follow, if it’s about the gay jibe don’t worry I’ve heard them all before they don’t bother me.”

She went to say something but stopped, she just tightened her grip. I felt my arms move of their own accord to rest around the small of her back. She didn’t stop squeezing until she felt me loosen in her arms. But she didn’t let go, I rested my head against her shoulder as I let the anger go. How did she do that? How did she take everything and just make me drop it just like that? Oh who cares, she was here holding onto me, who knew if this was going to ever happen again.

“Do me a favour,” She looked up at me, “Go to bed and dream of good things.” She let me go without looking away once. She was waiting for something, a small smile played on my lips, she grinned back and left the room. As soon as the door closed it all came back. I wasn’t angry at her, or even the morons outside. I was angry at myself, how could I possibly be reading too much into this. She was just a friend, just looking out for me. Just making sure I was ok. That was all.
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