Jelly Babies

Uh...I'm not quite sure what happened here. I posted this chapter this morning, and now it's suddenly gone. (And, oddly enough, I have LESS hits than I had before.) AFF seems to be having some issues. Anway, for the second time, here it is:

Jelly Babies

Chapter Three


“Oh, Sugar. Sweetie. Gumball. That feels so nice...” Pepper sighed as Nicholas pushed his thumb along the arch of her foot, banishing the tension and pain that had collected there. “You give the best foot rubs.”

Nicholas grinned, before resuming his work. They were in one of Kale’s guest bedrooms, although not, Pepper noted with some relief, the room which contained the stained glass bed. Pepper didn’t think she could sleep in a bed where her brother had suffered so much.

On the other hand, the nondescript bed where she now lay seemed pleasant enough. The softness of its feather mattress, combined with Nicholas’s continuing massage, made Pepper feel drowsy. Marzi, exhausted from the effort of getting them to Kale, had already drifted off, and Pepper didn’t blame him. More and more, it fell on Marzi to endure the hardships of a pregnancy that had never been his idea. Pepper wished that she could be more help. However, as the child within her grew, she felt herself getting fainter, less able to stay present in her brother’s body. It wasn’t that heaven was calling her back. But something was. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

Finishing with the bottom of her foot, Nicholas tugged on her toes, drawing a satisfying pop from each of them. Pepper exhaled as the remaining tension seemed to flow from her body. Then, Nicholas lay down on the bed beside her, and she rolled into his embrace, allowing him slide one arm under her head, while he draped his other arm across her waist. The feel of his hand, resting against her belly, made Pepper smile. Affectionately, she placed her own hand over his. “Hey, baby, do you feel that? That’s your daddy saying ‘hello’.”

Nicholas’s embrace tightened as he pulled her closer. Sometimes it amazed Pepper, how little they really needed words. Maybe that was why Nicholas had only made halfhearted attempts to learn sign language. He could communicate well enough with her and Marzi, and the rest of the world simply didn’t matter. Or maybe he thought that sign language would be cheating, a way of eluding the punishment of losing his voice. Pepper kept trying to convince him that, whatever mistakes he’d made in the past, he’d more than paid for them by now. He always acted like being mute was no hardship. But when certain songs played on the radio, Pepper recognized the grief in his eyes. It was the same grief she’d feel if someone stole her magic.

“Your daddy has been doing such a good job of taking care of us. Although he seems to have developed an unfortunate fondness for risking his life.”

Rolling over, Pepper traced the line of charred flesh that ran down Nicholas’s cheek, and tried not to think about how easily Aryeh could have killed him. “I didn’t mean it, you know. When I said that if you ever started dying again, you’d better do it quick. I don’t want you to die at all.”

Nicholas answered her with a sad smile, before kissing her fingers. And, really, that was as much of a promise as anyone could give about their own death. For a moment, Pepper’s eyes flicked past him, and she noticed a familiar red shape, sitting on the bedside table. “And you even rescued my purse!”

Driven from her home and workplace, Pepper felt an overwhelming need to hold the one thing which still remained to her. She couldn’t quite reach it by herself, but Nicholas quickly noticed her efforts, and placed the red leather bag in her hands. As Pepper unzipped it, the sight of her treasured tokens brought her some comfort: her bank card, her heart-shaped sunglasses, the car keys that Marzi had regretted leaving behind, a tiny bottle of sparkly red toenail polish, not that she’d seen her toes for the last few months...and a tin charm hung on a leather cord. Slowly, Pepper pulled out the Medal of Saint Michael. Holding it cradled in the palm of her hand, she watched the light reflect off it, like a tiny beacon flashing Morse code to heaven. And she made her decision.

“If you insist on attacking demons and angels alike, you’re going to need this,” she announced, hanging the medal around Nicholas’s neck.

Nicholas lowered his eyes, as his fingers traced the leather cord. He seemed touched by her gesture, perhaps remembering that long-ago night in the café, when she’d explained the medal’s history to him. Looking at him, Pepper felt her heart swell with love. But she also felt a deep, aching sadness that she couldn’t explain. Trying to ignore it, Pepper zipped her purse shut, and snuggled back into Nicholas’s arms. However, as she drifted off to sleep, words slipped through her mind, unbidden. Now he’ll be alright. Even when I’m gone.

Pepper dreams. She’s walking through a grove of trees, their stark shapes outlined by a thin layer of snow. In a few of them, she can see the abandoned nests of last spring’s birds, held up against the grey sky like offerings, like memorials. Like empty wombs that will never again hold life. The sight of them fills Pepper with sadness. Ignoring the branches that snap against her, and the snow that showers down on her as her efforts knock it loose, she stands on her tiptoes, and extricates the lowest of the nests. It seems to fit perfectly in her cupped hands. And, somehow, she’s only a little surprised to see that it still contains an egg – a beautiful red egg, worked with gold details, like a Faberge creation.

Carrying the nest, Pepper continues through the grove. Soon, the trees begin to thin, and she comes to a clearing. Despite the falling snow, someone has spread a blanket on the ground, and set out a spectacular picnic – bowls of steaming red borscht, slices of dark rye bread, little tins of caviar, and plates of stuffed dumplings topped with butter and sour cream. Everything looks and smells delicious. But Pepper worries that it’s meant for someone else. Hesitating, she glances back the way she came. And that’s when she notices that, where she stepped, the snow has melted, and the branches that she touched are now sprouting delicate green leaves.

“Hello, Miss Pennycandy.”

The familiar voice makes Pepper turn around, and she sees a man standing beside the picnic. The snow seems to swirl particularly thickly around him, obscuring much of his body, but Pepper still recognizes him. She feels certain that she’d recognize him anywhere. “Officer James,” she greets with a warm smile. “Imagine meeting you here.”

When she speaks his name, James looks slightly puzzled. As if she’s using a code word that he hasn’t heard for a long time. Then remembrance flows across his face, and he winks at her, acknowledging the shared joke. “Would you prefer the police station?” Abruptly, the scenery shifts, and Pepper finds herself back in James’s office, standing beside his desk. “Or Sugar Hearts?”

“No, that’s alright. I like the picnic.” Obligingly, her surroundings revert to the winter clearing, drawing another smile from Pepper. “You know, I thought about asking you to go on a picnic with me.”

“I know.”

Of course he does. That’s why all this is here, the picnic, and the food from the Russian tea room. He’s giving her something they’d never been able to have in real life. So very kind, so very gallant – so very James. Carefully, Pepper sits down, and places her bird’s nest on the blanket beside her. Then, she allows James to hand her a cup of hot tea, with a lump of brown sugar and slice of lemon balanced on the saucer beneath it.

“And would you have?” she presses. “Gone on a picnic with me? If I’d asked?”

“I would have wanted to. Believe me, I would have wanted to.”

Pepper twists the lemon slice, squeezing it into her tea. As the juice squirts out, a few stray drops trickle down her fingers, and when she licks them, she’s nearly overwhelmed by the sour taste. “That’s right. I nearly forgot. There was someone else, wasn’t there? Your renter.”

“Pepper...”

She can hear the apology in James’s voice, but she refuses to look at him. “I found out from Kale. Could anything be more humiliating? I was being so brave, insisting that my boyfriend the cop would come and rescue me. And he told me. I didn’t even know what a renter was!”

“It wasn’t the way Kale made it sound. And even if it was, do you think that would have stopped me from rescuing you? If there had been any possible way?”

“No. Of course not.” Pepper draws a deep breath of the steam rising from her tea, then exhales, releasing her anger along with the warm air. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I called him a renter. That’s such an awful word. If you care about him, I’m sure he’s a lovely person.”

“He’s quite something. He spun me around, until I didn’t know which way was up. But then, you always did that, too.”

Pepper blushes, pleased by the compliment. Shyly, she raises her eyes, and sees that James has poured himself some tea. The size of his hands seems absurd compared to the delicate china cup they hold. But he doesn’t spill a drop as he lifts it to his lips. However, after a sip of the strong, bitter liquid, he can’t quite hide his distaste.

A giggle escapes Pepper. “Oh, honestly, James! Have a beer. Marzi is my brother, remember? I’ve seen men drink alcohol.”

Looking relieved, James sets down the teacup. “Speaking of your brother...”

“Oh, is this about my brother?” Pepper grins as she recites the familiar words. “I know you didn’t get the best impression of Marzi. But he’s changed so much. He’s grown a little wiser, and a lot stronger. Now he’ll be alright. Even when I’m--“ Abruptly, Pepper stops, struck by a sudden sense of déjà vu. She knows how that sentence ends. And she doesn’t want to speak it.

Gently, James wraps his hand around hers. “You’ve guessed, haven’t you?”

Pepper stares at her teacup, mesmerized by the snowflakes which fall into it, dancing on the surface of the hot liquid for a single instant before it swallows them. “I’ve guessed. At first, I thought it was just death tugging at me. But it’s not. It’s the baby.”

“First born from a woman, then born from a man, she is the triple goddess – mother, sister, and daughter to herself.”

“And in order to be that, I need to be born again. Reborn.” Pepper’s grip tightens on James’s hand, grateful for its unwavering steadiness. “I’ll have a new body, and a whole life ahead of me. But will I remember anything from this time? Will I remember that Nicholas was my lover? That Marzi was my brother?” Slowly, she lifts his hand, and touches it to her lips. She can feel herself melting inside, like the ill-fated snowflakes. “Will I remember you?”

“I don’t know. But I promise you, I’ll remember. I’ll remember enough for both of us.”

Knowing that it may be her last chance to ever do so, Pepper looks at James, trying to penetrate the miniature blizzard which partially hides him from her eyes. Snow is snow, not sugar, and it shouldn’t respond to her magic. But this is her dream, isn’t it? Softly, Pepper whispers a snippet of poetry, and makes a slight motion with her free hand, commanding the veil to part. For a moment, it works. For a moment, the flakes begin to recede, and Pepper sees James as clear and true as the first time he walked into Sugar Hearts. And sees...something else. Something behind him, like a brief impression of feathers and bone. Then James gives her a rueful smile, and shakes his head, as the snow swirls back into place. “None of that. Even in a dream, some things need to remain hidden.”

Pepper nods. But her brief glimpse of James has comforted her, and she lets his hand slip away with only the slightest twinge of regret. Then she sets about helping herself to the picnic food, piling dumplings onto her plate, and topping them with sour cream and a spoonful of caviar. For a little, neither of them speaks. Until, finally, James breaks the silence.

“There are rough times ahead. And I can’t interfere. Not with this.” James reaches out, and brushes back her hair, revealing her bare throat. And the absence of his gift draws an affectionate sigh from him. “Of course, keeping you safe was always an uphill battle, even in the best of circumstances. How do you expect God to look after you, when you keep giving away his protection to every sinner who crosses your path?”

“It’s my nature, I suppose. I seem destined to love sinners.” Again, the blush returns to her cheeks. “Just as I loved you. Just as, I hope, you loved me. Just a little bit.”

“More than just a little bit, Miss Pennycandy. More than just a little bit.”

Before Pepper can reply, she hears a knocking noise, and when she glances down, she sees that her egg has begun to roll and bounce about in its nest. Like something inside it is trying to get out.

“I think you’d better get that,” James suggests.

With some trepidation, Pepper lifts the egg. And as she holds it, the bright red shell cracks, and then splits apart in her hands. Pepper’s breath catches in her throat as the hatchling emerges. Not some fluffy, flightless chick, but a phoenix, a creature of fire, which barely pauses before stretching its blazing wings and leaping into the air. Craning her neck to watch it ascend, Pepper feels her heart strain to follow. Until she, too, dissolves into flames.

Pepper awoke with a jolt. And as she lay in the darkness, pressed tightly against Nicholas’s sleeping body, hours seemed pass before she could make her fingers uncurl from the medal he wore around his neck.

A/N -- James Kelley belongs to Queenie, and was used in this story with her express permission.