Drew and Jesus

Drew's show is in a few days and things have been a little tense. He's freaking out in a major way, and nothing I do seems to alleviate the stress. Well, there is one thing but we can't very well do that all day and definitely not in public.

We had made plans to hang out tonight. I'm kind of hesitant to walk into the apartment though. It seems like everyday I'm talking him off a ledge.

I open the door and my ears are immediately assaulted by a frantic-sounding Drew. He's pacing back and forth in the living room talking on a phone. I sit down on the couch and try to piece together his conversation. After a few minutes and catching the word "lost" repeatedly, I've gathered that one of his pieces has gone missing.

I pick up a magazine from the coffee table and flip through it. Drew likes to keep the latest issue of Cosmo in his apartment at all times, for what reason I have no idea, but it probably has something to do with all the sex articles, perhaps 10 Ways to Please Your Man, which is what I'm looking over when Drew finally hangs up the phone. He ungracefully falls onto the seat next me.

"Hey, baby. How's your day?" He sounds so depressed that I can't help but do my best to comfort him. I put my arm around him and he moves closer, resting his head against my shoulder.

"I'm fine. What about you? What's going on?"

"Alex says one of my pieces has been lost. It's an important piece. I've based the entire show around this one piece, Jesus. I can't do the show without it." I can hear the panic seep into his voice. I rub his arm lightly, trying ground him.

"Drew, it'll be okay. Everything's going to be fine. Deep breaths." He takes a few steadying breaths before continuing.

"I have to go to the gallery. Paul wants me there."

I can guess exactly why Paul wants him there and it's not to help him find the missing artwork.

"You can't do much more there than you can do from here, Drew." He looks at me in that way, and I know I won't be able to change his mind. "But I know you're worried about it. How long do you think you'll be?" I try to say it with a smile and in a positive tone so he knows that I'm okay with him bailing on our plans.

"It should only be a couple of hours. We'll have plenty of time to do whatever you had planned for tonight." He pulls out of my arms to stand up.

"Yeah, that'll work." Drew's already putting on his shoes.

"I'll make sure to call if I'm gonna be any later." He leans down to kiss me before walking out of the door.

XXXXXXXXXX

I sit on the couch waiting for Drew to come home. He's already been gone for four hours. I've tried calling his cell a few times, but it went straight to voicemail. I try not to let myself think about it too much. Drew probably just lost track of time and forgot to turn on his phone like he's sometimes apt to do.

But I can't stop myself from thinking about how Paul looks at Drew every time they're in a room together. Or how they seem to have grown a lot closer in the past month or so. Yeah, I can't let myself think about that...

But Drew promised he would call, he fucking promised. Instead he's doing god knows what with that fucking idiot Paul. And I know I'm getting irrationally angry because I know Drew wouldn't cheat on me. I know that. But...

I make the decision to leave because I know that if Drew walks through that door we'll end up having an argument because I'm just too angry.

So I go home, undress, and crawl into bed, knowing that Drew will probably call tomorrow apologizing.

XXXXXXXXXX

Drew doesn't call. He doesn't apologize. And we don't talk for two days.

XXXXXXXXXX

It's the night before the show when I go to Drew's place. We had made plans a couple of weeks ago to have dinner at our favorite restaurant to take his mind off the whole thing so he would get a chance to relax.

I don't bother knocking on the door before I use my key to enter and imagine my surprise when I see Drew dressed down in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, cooking what looks to be dinner and Paul sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. And the whole scene is just so fucking domestic that I feel like an intruder.

"What are you doing here, baby?" I walk over to him and he kisses me on the cheek. I really can't believe he forgot.

"Umm, nothing. Nothing at all. I was just wondering if you had any plans tonight."

"Oh, well Paul and I were working on some stuff earlier today and we were just gonna eat some dinner. You can stay if you want." I can stay if I want. I look over at Paul and he looks more than pleased with himself.

"Um, no, that's okay. Are we still on for tomorrow morning?" And a small part of me, the insecure part of me, is so sure he's gonna say he already has plans with Paul.

"Of course. Are you sure you don't want to stay tonight?"

"Uh, no that's alright. I'll see you tomorrow." I turn around and leave before he has a chance to say anything else.

So I end up at home alone, again. And my mind is filled with thoughts of Drew and Paul. Who knows what had Drew out to all hours of the night a couple of days ago. And today I go to his place to find him and Paul acting like some kind of married couple - Drew in the kitchen, Paul watching him cook and Drew completely forgetting about our plans and his promises. I don't know what to think.

The thought never crossed my mind that Drew would cheat on me. But it's not like we have any definite rules in place. So, even if he were to date Paul, I can't really call that cheating, can I? But it's a moot point.

Because Drew isn't seeing Paul. They're just working together, spending time together.

I have to believe that.