Take Me From This Pain, Brian's story

\"Thanks, Dad,\" Matt said into his phone and clicked it off.

He was waiting for Brian outside of his English class. Ryan stood uncertainly beside him. Matt had explained most of what had transpired in the past day, leaving out the suicide attempt and the cutting. He stressed the danger that the two brothers still faced if their stepfather caught up with them before Kevin made it out of town and Brian turned eighteen. Ryan had quietly listened but he didn\'t look very understanding at the moment.

\"I still don\'t understand why this has to be your job,\" he said again.

\"Look, I really did a number on him when his stepfather was beating him at home,\" Matt sighed for the umpteenth time. \"I feel like a lot of his problems could have been solved if I hadn\'t picked on him, okay?\"

\"So your guilty conscience gets to tell me what to do?\" Ryan countered with crossed arms, his grey eyes dancing with irritation.

\"You\'re kidding me, right?\" Matt growled. \"After hearing THAT, you still want to bother the kid?\"

\"Kid?\" Ryan asked incredulously. \"According to you, he\'s older than us.\"

\"By four months!\"

\"Still,\" Ryan shrugged. \"It\'s not like we really hurt him. Except for the last time, we never actually hit him.\"

\"Okay, listen,\" Matt was quickly losing his patience. \"He\'s not a game. This is real life and he\'s already been real hurt by it. A LOT.\"

Ryan looked skeptical.

\"How would YOU feel if your dad disappeared then your mother died and your stepfather decided you\'d make a good punching bag?\"

Ryan actually flushed a little but remained silent.

\"Think about it,\" Matt grimaced as the class let out and Brian walked meekly from the room looking around. When he spotted Matt he gave a small smile and started walking over, faltering only when he noticed Ryan leaning against the wall behind his new friend. Matt shot Ryan one more warning glance before turning back to the kid. The all started walking to the lunchroom, Ryan trailing a foot or so behind.

\"Hey, I talked to my dad.\"

\"Was he mad?\" Brian asked in a small voice.

\"Why would he be mad?\"

Brian shrugged.

\"Why?\" Matt asked again.

\"Adults usually get annoyed with me if I ask them for anything,\" the smaller boy mumbled.

Behind them, Ryan frowned deeply. He still didn\'t like this situation but maybe there was something to Matt\'s concern. From behind, Ryan could barely see the outline of the kid\'s skinny frame through Matt\'s tee. And it was a fairly tight tee on Matt.

\"Yeah, well, my dad\'s different,\" Matt insisted. \"Like my mom.\"

Brian nodded.

They reached the lunchroom and Matt and Ryan escorted the often-teased boy to the line and all three picked up trays. Brian stuffed one hand in his back pocket and pulled out a couple of worn and ragged dollar bills. Ryan\'s eyes bugged out of his head. What did the kid think he could buy with that little money? He looked at Matt\'s frown and knew the other was thinking along the same lines.

\"Hey, let me get lunch today,\" Matt suddenly said pulling out his wallet.

\"Why?\" Brian asked. It was the first sign of actual life Ryan had seen thus far. \"I\'ve always paid for my own lunch.\"

\"Yeah, well I owe you one from last Friday,\" Matt said firmly. \"Don\'t think I\'ve forgotten the incident.

Brian looked uncertainly from one to the other but he knew he couldn\'t do anything about Matt\'s demand in front of Ryan, who said nothing while he pulled out his own wallet. Finally the small boy just nodded and put his money away.

\"What\'ll it be?\" the lunch lady asked looking at Brian expectantly.

\"A hotdog and some water, please,\" he mumbled. It was his usual lunch and all he could afford, as the hotdog was a dollar fifty.

\"That\'s it?\" Matt asked in shock. Oh no, Brian. Not today. \"Scratch that, Mrs. Lawson. He\'ll have the roast beef sub with an order of fries and a Coke. And give him one of the big cookies, too.\"

Brian gasped but the warning glance Matt shot him stifled his protest.

\"And I\'ll have the turkey and cheese sub, fries and a Coke,\" Matt continued, smiling.

\"No cookie?\" the amused lunch lady asked.

\"I have to keep in shape during the season, you know.\"

She laughed and turned to fill the orders.

\"Matt,\" Brian whispered.

\"Put a sock in it, Bri.\"

Bri? Ryan was truly perplexed at this new friendship, though it was amusing him to no end to see Matt taking such care of the small kid. He still wasn\'t sure how he was going to adjust to the situation, but he knew he was going to try to be civil to Brian.

A short while later, Mrs. Lawson placed the two plates on the top of the counter and looked at Ryan. He watched for a second while Brian struggled with his books and tray before Matt grabbed the books and muttered that they were getting the kid a backpack. Chuckling, he put in his order for two slices of pizza and a Coke.

When Matt and Ryan had paid for the food, they all stepped back out into the lunch area, with Brian lagging behind a bit. Matt found a table and put his tray down when he heard a commotion behind him. He turned and saw Brian sprawled on the floor with his food scattered around him, some of it staining his clothes. Darren Williams and the rest of his friends, composed mostly of the lacrosse team, were laughing hysterically. The small boy looked stoically resigned as he righted himself and began to clean up the mess.

\"Sorry, asshole,\" Darren laughed. \"Didn\'t see you there?\"

Matt could see that Brian was holding back his tears as he worked. Ryan suddenly appeared next to him.

\"I never knew how cruel that actually looked from outside,\" he said to Matt then he brushed by and bent down to help the kid.

Matt was stunned by Ryan\'s actions. He then walked over and helped as well.

\"What\'s going on here?\" Darren asked.

Matt straightened and pushed him back against the table glaring down at him ominously.

\"You ever pull that again and I\'ll wipe the floor with you,\" he hissed in a lethal tone that actually made Darren tremble. He was substantially shorter than the football player and was significantly outweighed as well.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Brian glancing up at him in wonder. It felt good to have the kid\'s admiration instead of fear. Ryan patted Brian\'s shoulder soothingly and took the tray with its remnants to the garbage then went back on line. Matt raised his eyebrows in surprise. Now that was definitely unexpected. He gave Darren one more glare and led Brian to their table. A few minutes later Ryan returned with a tray identical to the one Darren had made Brian spill. Brian shyly thanked Ryan and meekly went about blending into the background trying not to be noticed.

Matt and Ryan both frowned but didn\'t push him. They talked about sports and college. Ryan told Matt that he\'d been accepted into the school he\'d wanted to go to for premed. Matt smiled and listened, happy for his friend. He\'d been talking about med school for years now. For his own part, Matt had been accepted to some good schools as well. A few were close by, some were as far away as the East Coast. He still had some time to decide. He watched Brian out of the corner of his eye and noted the sad expression. He knew why, too. If Matt left, there went Brian\'s newfound sense of security. Who was he kidding? Matt knew that once he graduated, Brian was a sitting duck. Darren was a junior and not likely to forget today. Matt knew he\'d have to help the kid make some serious decisions before graduation.

\"Hey,\" Kevin\'s voice broke the reverie.

Brian looked up and smiled at his brother and Jason as they took seats next to him at the table. They both had trays piled with food, something he suspected was Jason\'s doing.

\"I thought you had study hall,\" Brian said excitedly.

Ryan and Matt exchanged amused looks as they watched the kid suddenly reanimate himself in front of them.

\"We blew it off to have lunch with you,\" Kevin shrugged. Then he looked closer at his brother. \"What happened to your clothes? Hey, I don\'t remember that shirt in your wardrobe. I didn\'t notice it earlier. Whose clothes are they?\"

\"Oh, uh,\" Brian blushed.

\"The shirt\'s mine,\" Matt offered. \"I thought he needed something heavier than he was going to wear.\"

Kevin nodded silently, but gave Matt an obscure look. Next to him, Ryan was smirking. He knew that Matt was gay even if his friend didn\'t tell him yet. How could he miss the looks Matt gave the guys in the locker room? But he knew because he knew Matt well, and he wouldn\'t betray his friend for anything. In fact, one other player had made an offhanded comment about Matt\'s sexuality once, just as a joke and Matt just walked away. But Ryan didn\'t. He got in the younger kid\'s face and told him he\'d live a much healthier life if he didn\'t antagonize the upperclassmen. But he never told Matt he knew. Matt would say something when he decided it was right. The fact that Matt seemed to be attracted to the boy who was once their favorite toy surprised him, though. But Brian was turning out to be a lot more than Ryan had previously thought.

\"Jason, I set things up with my dad,\" Matt said to the other boy. \"Your sister can call him any time today to get the details. I think he\'s even getting her a raise. They need another good family law attorney anyway.\"

\"Cool!\" Jason smiled. \"Thanks, Man.\"

\"I still don\'t know about this,\" Kevin spoke up. \"I don\'t like the idea of us being separated.\"

Ryan watched the younger kid carefully. He seemed so much more sure of himself than Brian was. If it weren\'t for the similar facial features, Ryan would find it hard to believe they were from the same household.

\"I\'ll be fine,\" Brian insisted. Matt said he\'d watch me.\"

There was a dejected not of uselessness in that last statement that bothered Matt greatly. He had his work cut out for himself and he knew it. But he had to help Brian, and disturbingly enough he suddenly suspected it wasn\'t just about redemption anymore. This kid deserved to make it, he decided. He had the potential to shine. And Matt hoped he would be the one to help him see that.