My Beloved Shadow

Nick has a hard time sleeping. He had gone straight home after dressing and gone immediately to his room where he had hidden under his blankets. He had not hidden under his blankets since he was thirteen and he had been told that his parents were dead. He would have been able to handle his father’s death. Barely a day had gone by he hadn’t wished him dead. But his mother, the only person who had loved him, he had mourned her death.

He had gone to live with his grandparents, his mother’s parents. They had been the reason she had stayed married to an abusive man, divorce wasn’t something they believed in. If his mother had left his father, making their lives better, her family would of disowned her and she loved them too much to hurt them.

It’s because of that that he hates his grandparents. He had refused to unpack when he had been forced to move in with them. The two suitcases of his things have lain underneath the bed for five years. No pictures or posters hang from the walls, nothing decorates the nightstand by his bed nor the small desk that he does his schoolwork on. His bedding is a cream colored quilt, something he had found in the closet where his grandmother kept extra blankets and sheets.

He lives for the day that he can go to college, one far away. But at the moment his mind isn’t on any of that, it’s on what Michael had done to him in the shower. He buries his face in the pillow, refusing to cry again. He can’t even lay on his back he’s so sore. Michael had somehow taken away most of the pain but it still hurt.

Finally he cries himself to sleep, sleeping the rest of the day away. As night falls and the house goes silent, Michael appears from the shadows, across from Nick’s bed. Casually he walks up to the bed, climbing on it to sit next to Nick.

“Meili, wake up, your caylo is here.”

He touches Nick and the boy jerks back, instantly awake and moving off the bed.

“What are you doing here?”

Michael stops him in his tracks, his hand grasping his arm in an iron grip as he uses his body to lay Nick down on his back. Nick gasps out in pain and Michael covers his mouth.

“Shh, wouldn’t want to wake anyone up.”

He moves his hand away, only to replace it with his mouth, his lips moving against Nick’s impassive ones. His hand moves to rest between Nick’s legs, over the pants that he’s wearing.

“It’s time to have some more fun, meili.”

He picks Nick up, off the bed, and pulls Nick into his arms like a child. He doesn’t warn Nick what he’s about to do next. Nick tries to protest his treatment but before he can say anything the world around him shifts. He finds that he is in a world of darkness, a world that possess a cool breeze. Curiously he looks around, at the same time he clutches at Michael, afraid that he’ll be dropped.

When Michael steps out of the shadows Nick is immediately cold and hugs himself when Michael sets him down on the floor. Nick looks around at the bedroom he finds himself it. It’s as void of personality as his own room, the only difference between this room and his own is that the bed is at least three times the size of his own. He tries not to look at the bed too long.

Michael pulls Nick roughly against him, kissing his lips just as roughly. As before he tries to devour Nick through his lips, his hands move along Nick’s body until they come to rest on his ass. Nick is suddenly tense.

“Wh-what are you going to do?”

There is fear in his voice when he speaks, but there is the hint of some else as well. He had spent the last few hours dreading that he might see Michael soon. He had worked himself up worrying about it and the fear had weight in his heart and soul, even his mind.

“I’m going to fuck you like I did earlier. I can heal you so that it’s like it never happened and do it again. But, if you beg, I might go easy on you.”

Beg… Nick refuses to beg for anyone. Michael’s words make him remember his childhood, and his father. His earliest memories had been of his mother, on her knees in front of his father. Her face was always swollen during those times, she’d ended up in the floor from one of his father’s punches.

She would kneel there and beg for his father’s forgiveness, that she would do whatever she could to make it up to him. After awhile of begging his father would just laugh and sit back down in front of the tv, he’d order her to get him something and it would all be normal again. His father always won when she did that.

Nick isn’t about to let anyone do that to him. His father had messed with his mind enough as a child. Michael’s game is no different. The only thing that Michael had done different had been to rape him. What could he do to him now? Nick had been beaten on at least once every day for thirteen years. Michael had brutally raped him.

After eighteen years, it doesn’t affect him any more. Michael could rape him again, just like he’s saying he’s going to, or he can beat him. But Nick knows what to expect from both.

“I don’t care, do what ever you want to. But know this, you’ll never get me to beg, never…”

Michael finds himself suddenly curious as the fear vanishes from Nick, replaced by determination. Michael touches Nick’s cheek, he flinches but doesn’t move. Michael hasn’t seen anything like this in a long time. He had raped Nick just like he’d done to Norris and Jason, yet they had fallen begging at his feet when he had worn out their defenses. Nick didn’t care.

“I’d die before I beg for anything.”

Michael believed him, felt it in his words and saw it in his eyes. Michael believed that he would kill himself, if that would keep him from begging. It made Michael wonder what his life growing up had been like. Michael’s life had been hell. His master had been cruel, his father even crueler for what he’d done.

Michael smiles suddenly, an idea forming in his mind.

“Will you willingly come to me, then?”

Nick blinks in response, unable to think for a moment. Willingly come to Michael? After what he’d done only a few short hours ago? No, never…

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really.”

Nick sighs in defeat. He wouldn’t beg, he had all ready established that. He had been ready for Michael to take him again, but to ask him to come willingly, that’s something he hadn’t expected. Could this all just be part of Michael’s game?

“Take your clothes off and lay down on the bed.”

Michael commands. Nick’s hands are shaking violently as he starts to remove his clothes. He shivers as the cool air around him hits his bare skin. Nick climbs onto the bed and lays down. He lays on his back after Michael motions for him to do so, careful to keep his ass from touching anything. It hurts worse when anything comes in contact with it.

“Good. You will enjoy this, Nick.”

Michael steps into the light and Nick’s eyes go wide as he suddenly realizes that Michael had been naked the whole time. Michael climbs onto the bed, placing his hands on either side of Nick’s head for support.

“Do you willingly come to me, Nick?”

Did he really have a choice? No. It was either willingly go to Michael and hope that it wouldn’t hurt, or have it hurt a lot.

“Yes, Michael, I willingly come to you. Just stop with the games, please, and get it over with…”

He didn’t want Michael to touch him, didn’t want him anywhere near him, but Nick knows that he doesn’t have a choice. Michael leans down, his lips claiming Nick’s in a kiss that is gentler than Nick had expected.

Michael had been instantly drawn to Nick the moment he saw him. And now, spending so much time around him, Michael is beginning to respect him, a little.




**This chapter is a little longer than the other\'s have been. Just couldn\'t stop myself. Actually could of written more, but it\'s getting late and I wanted to post something before bed.
Anyone have a suggestion for a better title name? I don\'t know... I don\'t feel very satisfied with \'my gang\'.

Also, as far as the two foreign words go.
I\'ve all ready said that Meili means beloved, what I didn\'t mention is that it\'s pronounced \'K-eye li(short I)
Ceylo means Lover, it\'s something that\'s said in private. It\'s never used in public except as an insult. It\'s pronounced \'Ka-Lo(short a, long o).