The Nebraskan Peach Pie Incident

Brantley went back to work at Earl\'s and moved his stuff into Fitzy\'s place, but Jack still stayed in town, hoping. The cohabitating was fine, except Fitz knew it was more about Brantley not being in Jack\'s house than it was about him being in Fitzy\'s, so he tried not to take it as as much of a commitment as he would have otherwise. Brantley needed that space too; at least Fitzy thought that was what he needed.

The sex was good, of course. They hadn\'t gotten to the part that needed lube, but they were regularly doing lots of really good stuff. B had even surprised him one Sunday afternoon by extending the boundaries of the blowjob he was giving Fitz by sliding a finger into him and Fitz ended up cursing in French himself, which they laughed over after they\'d both come and caught their breath. Then Brantley translated a few choice phrases, which got them started all over again.

They were perched on the edge of a whole lot, at least that was how Fitz felt. They were living together, but weren\'t officially committed to staying together. They were lovers but didn\'t fuck and something kept making Fitz pull back from it. Brantley was almost happy, except for the fact that every time he saw Jack, heard about Jack, or thought about Jack, he remembered to be angry and miserable. So, Fitz was almost happy too, but more than that, he was nervous, waiting for the other shoe, waiting for it all to fall down, waiting for it to end.

It was late December. They had a tree, presents and mistletoe, that was getting a lot of use. But, Brantley was still not talking to his father and he was missing his mother, since this was his first holiday season without her. Fitz knew something about not having parents around for Christmas, this was his ninth one without his, and it didn\'t really get easier. So he hung some mistletoe over the bed as a distraction. It was a good distraction.

Brantley offered to be tied up again over dessert on the twenty-second, which made Fitz choke on the peach pie he was savoring (they always had peach pie for dessert; it was as if all other pastries had vanished off the face of the planet).

\"Uh, why?\" he blurted out, then, \"Wait, I don\'t mean why, I mean when? Where? How often?\" he amended.

\"You mean why.\" Brantley gave him a squinty look that said he had Fitzy\'s number.

\"Okay, yeah, I do mean why, but that doesn\'t mean no, it just means-\"

\"It just means you think I think you need to tie me up again because something\'s wrong between us and it worked before, didn\'t it?\"

\"Yeah, I guess,\" Fitz agreed doubtfully.

\"Well, how else do you want to handle it?\"

\"We could talk it out. Then we could celebrate by me tying you up,\" Fitz proposed the perfect solution.

\"We\'re men. We don\'t talk,\" Brantley insisted.

\"We\'re gay men. We do so,\" Fitzy countered.

\"Point taken. So, okay talk.\" He sat back, arms crossed, waiting for Fitz to explain himself.

\"You need to talk to Jack,\" Fitz told him matter-of-factly.

\"Wait, this isn\'t about Jack,\" B corrected. \"This is about why were not exploring the final frontier.\"

\"Space travel?\" he asked, getting up and clearing the dishes to the sink and running the water.

\"Fucking. It\'s about why you aren\'t ready for us to fuck.\" B followed him into the kitchen and found a towel.

\"We\'re doing it all wrong.\" He added a squirt of soap and started scrubbing.

\"Uh, no; as long as we both have a good time, there is no doing it wrong.\" Brantley took the first dish, dried it and put it in the cabinet.

\"No, I don\'t mean the sex, that\'s going right, really right. It\'s the rest of it.\"

\"Okay, I\'m not seeing it.\" He stopped drying and leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms again.

\"We don\'t fight,\" Fitzy explained. \"We don\'t talk about ourselves, we don\'t share the things we ought to be sharing if we\'re trying to make this thing about love and not just about you having somewhere to stay that\'s close enough to your father that you can annoy him without ever having to talk to him. And, isn\'t it convenient that the place comes with hot and cold running blowjobs?\"

\"Wow!\" He picked up a dish and resumed drying.

\"Okay, I feel better. . . .\" he glanced at his lover, who was looking hurt or angry, maybe both. \"Oh shit, B, I\'m sorry. I know you\'re not just here for the sex. I mean you\'re great and I know you care about me. You\'ve been really patient and kind and just really fantastic.\"

He took a deep breath and calmly replied, \"Well you\'re worth the patience. Good things come, you know. Plus I\'d be a real ass if I tried to push you after what happened to you, you know, before.\"

\"Wait, that\'s it; that\'s it right there.\" He pulled Brantley into the living room and settled them in on the couch. \"You know me, but you don\'t really know what\'s happened to me. You have this idea of what you think happened, but I\'ve never told you and you don\'t tell me what\'s happened to you either. I know you, but I don\'t know about you. You\'ve never even told me exactly why you and Jack are fighting.\"

\"Okay, yeah, so we don\'t do the talking things to death routine. Does all that matter? Do I really need to make you tell me how that asshole hurt you? Do you really need to relive it?\"

\"He didn\'t do anything to me.\"

\"What? I thought he forced you or tried to.\"

\"No, he pressured me and I told him no a whole lot, but he never hurt me or even threatened me. He just broke my heart, broke my faith in people. But you fixed it. It\'s been fixed for while now. So, I don\'t need to tie you up for me to trust you.\"

\"So what do you need?\"

\"Tell me things, starting with all the shit you\'re keeping in about your mother and Jack.\"

\"You need that?\"

\"No, you need that and I can\'t let you go without anymore, so tell me.\" He put on a terrible German accent, \"Tell me about your mother.\"

\"Okay,\" Brantley laughed and began, \"Her name was Celeste and she was the most beautiful, delicate thing on God\'s green earth . . .\"

They never did get to the tying up Brantley portion of the evening, but they learned a bunch of things about each other that they should have shared months earlier and Brantley didn\'t really work through all his grief and anger, but he made a start, which was more than enough for one night. So, they took a long, steamy shower together, soaping each other up and then losing control, jerking each other off in tandem as the water ran cold.

***

It would have been sickeningly sweet to be able to say that Brantley was able to make it up with Jack in time for Christmas and then, on Christmas eve, under the twinkling of the antique bubbler lights, he and Fitzy finally used the lube, like it was a gay Christmas miracle, but that wasn\'t what really happened. They did have a nice couple of days off together, but Jack could have been on a another planet for all they knew and okay, yes the lube did get some use, when Fitz got really brave and slid a finger into B\'s ass as he was sucking him off on Christmas morning. It made Brantley shake and curse French and grab Fitz by the hair, which was so good, that Fitz slowed down his mouth and concentrated on working two more fingers into Brantley, finding that spot B had shown him. A small change in his angle of entry and Fitz had B howling and coming in his mouth and- yeah, that was really good.