Boy Next Door

Notes: I don’t know if I’m happy with this chapter or not, but I hope you all enjoy it!

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Chapter Four: Fantasy versus Reality

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Climbing on my bed, I reached up to the ceiling to close the air vent. The voices were muffled then, but not completely silenced. I flopped back onto my bed, turning over to bury my face in my pillow. In a few moments, I heard the heavy footsteps of my father pounding up the stairs, no doubt looking for my brother. Quickly getting up to close my own door, as to not see his face when he passed by, I settled back on my bed and listened to the innocent complaints of “why?” from my younger brother as they descended the staircase together. A door slammed downstairs and then there was nothing.

Polly cawed and moved around her cage restlessly. Ignoring her, I stared blankly at the ceiling, irritated at my father’s actions. He was blowing everything way out of proportion. I tried to focus on something else, anything to take my mind off my home life. My thoughts wandered to Kyle and the kiss we had shared just hours earlier.

A smile formed on my face as I remembered how soft his touch was, how confidently his lips were moving against mine. My eyes slipped closed, images swirling in my mind of what could have happened, what that kiss could have led to. I imagined his kisses venturing lower, down my neck, my shirt coming off hastily as he pressed his lips to my chest. I imagined him forcefully shoving me back against the counter, kneeling in front of me with that wacky grin on his face. In my mind’s eye his deft hands removed my pants with agonizing slowness, and in reality my hand crept lower towards the zipper of my jeans.

“Polly want a motherfucking cracker!”

I blinked, instantly snapped out of my trance, and stared at my pet bird with surprise and irritation.

“I’ve really gotta start watching myself around this bird…” I muttered to myself.

I hopped out of bed, because I noticed she was still chanting her new catchphrase like she really wanted this motherfucking cracker. I laughed to myself; Polly was a really smart parrot. I wondered how random her words actually were.

Digging into the box next to her cage, I pulled out a few crackers, breaking them into smaller pieces and dropping them through the white bars of the cage. She squawked happily and pecked at them like she had never seen food before.

So, with my mood for X-rated fantasies completely shot to hell by Polly’s outburst, I plopped back on my bed, my arms folded under my head. I counted the speckles on the ceiling and found little designs in their haphazard patterns. Polly loudly ate her crackers, keeping me awake with her noisy pecking. It wasn’t until she had finished and comfortably settled on her swing that I was finally able to get some peace and quiet. I narrowed my eyes at her tranquil form. She was now resting peacefully and I was wide awake.

Grabbing the remote control, I turned on the television to something that always put me to sleep. Infomercials flickered across the screen and cheesy sales pitches sounded softly from the speakers. I changed into my pajamas—really just some light sweatpants and a shirt—and reclined lazily with my head at the foot of the bed, my toes drawing circles in my pillows. My eyelids began to droop only minutes after I started watching. The noises from the TV grew softer and softer until finally, I couldn’t hear them at all.

“Hello?”

I called out and received nothing but my own echo. The sound of my voice bounced off the stone walls of the hallway. A torch sat neatly in a sconce a few steps ahead of me, and I walked carefully towards it. My footsteps were hollow in the corridor.

Taking the torch from the wall, I glanced apprehensively at its waning fire. It was the only light in the long tunnel, and if it went out, there would be nothing to light my path. I could hear a faint squeaking sound, like a rat, scuttling somewhere behind me. Cringing, I kept walking. There was nowhere else to go. As I walked, the walls quietly distorted, liquefying and oozing towards me. The dark blue slime attached to my feet, forming hands that grabbed me and cemented me to the ground. I dropped my torch in surprise, extinguishing the fire, and the scream I know I let out was barely a hoarse whisper.

The left melting wall molded itself into the shape of someone’s face. I had no choice but to stare; I couldn’t look away. The face suddenly was Greg’s, a haughty smirk on his lips. Next to him, and all along the amorphous walls, teenaged faces formed, belonging to most everyone I knew at school, and also my father. With contemptuous expressions on their faces, they reminded me of everything that I had tried to get away from.

“Oh, look, it’s the fag.”

“Why else would that faggot stay over at some boy’s house that long?!!”

“Guess he wants to see us real men flex our muscles.”

“Oh no! Don’t get your boyfriend on us! Please, anything but that!”

“Don’t want that thing infecting our little boy...”

Their voices echoed loudly, meshing together, creating one giant tangible feeling of disgust and disdain. Grunting with effort and holding back tears, I tried to yank my feet away from the hands holding my ankles in place. They wouldn’t loosen their grasp, and I was forced to look my enemies in the face.

“Please, someone help me…” I whispered to the darkness, but expecting no one to return my plea.

Hearing nothing but the demeaning insults and coarse laughter in my ears, I almost missed the soft, gentle voice in the background.

“Yeah. Well, it doesn’t matter to me. You’re still the same person you were this morning.”

I looked around for the voice, wanting and needing the comfort that it promised.

“Out of all the others, you really stood out to me.”

The more I listened, the louder and closer the voice became.

“Anyone ever told you that you have such beautiful green eyes?”

Suddenly, a bright light appeared, overpowering the harsh laughter. Kyle was walking towards me, a goofy smile on his face and a reassuring sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes. A flashlight was in his hands, much more permanent than the useless torch on the ground. When he reached me, he brought his free hand to my face and wiped away the tears running down my cheeks.

“Hey, don’t cry,” he said softly, his hand now caressing my skin.

I sniffed and forced myself to smile, just for him. Seeing my small grin, the smile on his own face morphed into an exaggerated smirk. The gentle look in his eyes was no longer; it was now cold amusement.

“I haven’t dumped you yet.”

A laughter that even overwhelmed the others emerged from his vocal chords. The world around me cracked and shattered, leaving only a void in its place. Kyle and I stood together on a lonely platform in the emptiness, his cold laugh resonating even louder. It was the only sound I could hear, and his heartless face was the only image I could see.

“Kyle…”

His laughter died down and a manic grin came onto his features. I didn’t notice he had moved his arm until I felt a sharp pain on my face. Kyle had punched me. I reeled back, almost falling from the landing, and I instinctively grabbed for the only thing solid: Kyle. His expression went instantly to disgusted, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me, as if the mere thought of touching me was something to abhor. He pushed me forcefully away from him, and I toppled from the platform, falling forever into the dark pit.

“KYLE!”

I sprang upright, my eyes wide, my chest heaving. Looking around, I saw only my room, illuminated by the light of the television. Polly was now awake and staring at me through the cage bars.

I rubbed my hands over my face, breathing a heavy sigh of relief that it was all only a dream. Looking at the small alarm clock on my bedside table, I saw that it was two forty-three in the morning. Polly cawed quietly in her cage, biting the white bars like she wanted to get out. Since I knew I was getting no more sleep for the rest of the night, I slowly rose from my bed and trudged over to Polly’s cage. I opened the door, and immediately she flew to my shoulder, spreading her wings and putting them around my head, almost like a hug. I stood there a moment, speechless, because she had never done anything like that before. A smile came onto my lips as she very gently, lovingly like a mother, pecked at my head.

Bringing her to the bed, I coaxed her from my shoulder and into my arms. She allowed herself to be cradled and stroked. When she looked as if she would fall asleep again, I placed her back into her cage and turned off the TV, letting her sleep in peace.

I climbed back into bed and, my arms folded behind my head, I stared at the ceiling absently, reflecting on my dream. Kyle’s hard words echoed in my mind: I haven’t dumped you yet. I could almost feel the sting from his punch on my cheek. The very thought of it made my throat tighten. I had just met the guy, and already I was assuming the worst. My eyebrows knitted together in concern.

I counted sheep, trying to keep my mind away from the dream, and hoped that it would all work itself out in the morning.