Diary of the Damned
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
1,031
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
1,031
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter Three: That's Just How It Is
Chapter Three:
That's Just How It Is
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Whatever *normal* is.
It doesn't seem to be something that anyone can describe. I guess that is because, by nature, normalcy is unremarkable.
Being normal was something I used to care about, something that was important to me. Now it isn't"¦ I know now that that's just how it is.
~~~~~~~~
"Jeff I told you: It was an emergency. I had to leave without delay." She hopped from her left foot to her right one. Determined.
"You could have sent a message at some point. You could have called me three days ago. Hell, they still have phones in planes don't they?"
"Ah, Yeah, at five ninety five a minute"¦" Right to left. "I guess I could have used one of those and billed the company "”"
"No, I suppose it's better that you didn't then." Jeff cut her off briskly. "When are you coming back?"
"I'm not sure"¦ I don't really have a date, yet."
"Don't wait too long or you won't have a job to come back to." With that, he hung up abruptly and with force.
"Have a nice day to you, too!" She yelled at the phone melodramatically. "This, coupled with the shock of my grandmother's unexpected death"¦ !"
Nathan walked back over and consoled her. Then, he smacked the back of her head mischievously.
"You do remember that she didn't really die, right?"
Shelly turned around somewhat injured, her eyes soft, and large. "Are you suggesting that I lied?!"
"Ah, yeah, you just did." His eyebrows lowered.
"I did not! Grandma did too die. I just never mentioned when, or which one"¦" She smiled slyly.
"Oh you mean Gramma Sandy? You're right, she did die"¦ THREE YEARS AGO!!"
"Oh, this from the man taking college classes that he doesn't need, and isn't paying for." They both lost the heat in their voices and they giggled.
"I haven't done something like that since the tenth grade when you skipped school." Shelly reminisced. "Remember?"
"Vaguely. You pretended to be Mom and told an office attendant that I was sick."
Their moment of nostalgia was interrupted by a quick knock followed by a swishing sound as the door swung open.
"Nathan I "¦" Damien stopped immediately when he saw Shelly.
"˜Oh god don't let me lose track of"¦' As Shelly thought about it, it happened "” Damien's eyes met hers "” and she was helpless.
Nathan tapped his sister on the shoulder; she started. Her eyes swirled with confusion. Once she fully realized what happened, she turned bright red.
Nathan had a smug grin splitting his face in two. "You have it for him bad, don't you?"
"Who"¦?" She managed, still somewhat dazed. Looking around she could see that Damien was nowhere to be found. 'He must have left.'
"I do not!" She was finally fully aware and somehow she had managed to turn a deeper hue of red.
Nathan burst into a non-ending string of laughter.
"It's not funny!"
"You don't know the half of it," he said, while gasping between breaths.
"What do you mean by that?!"
Silence defeated the room.
"Ah"¦ Nothing"¦" He wiped the tears off of his cheeks. " Never mind."
"No, what? Tell me!!"
"There's nothing to tell, you know what happened "” you like Damien"¦ you spaced out, and I thought it amusing."
She glared at him her expression never changing.
"What?!" he growled.
She stared at him for a minute more, then finally withdrew her concentration.
"Do you think he knows?"
"Ha ha ha! Of course he does! What kind of question is that? How could he *not* know?"
"Sometimes guys aren't that intuitive"¦" she trailed off, knowing the line of thought was pointless; a blind, quadriplegic dog could tell that she liked him.
"Do you think he"¦ umm...?" The words were tainted with trepidation.
"˜Why did she have to ask? I can't answer"¦ I can't lie to her"¦' Nathan screamed de hde his head.
Then he looked around not knowing if the sound had reached outside. He opened his mouth, only to close it again.
"What is it? He doesn't, does he"¦"
Nathan finally spoke. "I don't think he is the kind of guy for you."
"How so?"
"˜Damn! I hadn't thought that she would ask that.'
"Ah"¦ He isn't one who gets attached to any specific girl"¦ from what I've seen."
"˜Nice, I didn't even lie.'
"Well I might not want a *relationship* per se"¦"
"Ewww"¦ Don't tell me that!" Nathan knew how vain her intentions were and he didn't know how to let his sister down easily without saying something he shouldn't. "But you deserve better."
"˜There! " He mentally patted himself on the head. "˜It wasn't quick thinking and it was relatively obvious three minutes ago when this started, but at least I found it.'
"You know, maybe I don't! I haven't dated anyone in three years. Did you know that? I think my standards are too high." She was quiet for a minute contemplating. "Okay I lied, it isn't how high my standards are, I haven't even had someone approach me for my standards to even matter." Shelly looked down, dejected.
"But you said that you had a date a week ago." Now it was Nathan's turn to look concerned. His sister never kept anything from him. It was that fact alone that made him feel so bad for keeping a secret from her. What was happening to them?
"I made Michael up"¦ He never existed. How sad is that? I was so lonely that I had to make someone up." She kept her vision on a certain spot on the ground that seemed to be unremarkable to Nathan.
"I'm sorry. We've always told each other that we would never be alone as long as we both lived, but it happened. No matter how hard we tried we went our separate ways." Nathan finished and silence ensued.
"Come here." Shelly slowly walked over to her brother and they hugged. "Will ill have each other. I know I am not what you want but I still love you.
They just stood there for a little while then Shelly pulled back. She looked at him straight in the eyes.
"How have you survived so long? You don't seem to be lonely, and you haven't dated anyone for a lot longer than I have."
"˜God this hurts me. She doesn't even know and already she is making me feel terrible.'
"I deal. I guess that it is what they call suffering in silence."
"˜I hate doing this to her. Why is it coming so easy then? The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made. I don't want to fake it though. Why can't I just tell her? She loves me"¦ but does she love me enough"¦? Is there something that could make her hate me? If there is, then I think that this might just be it. The question is: which is going to hurt her more: me lying or the truth? If only I knew"¦'
Shelly finally accepted this explanation, although with some skepticism. She looked at him and said, "Let's go get drunk."
Nathan had to laugh, if there wasn't a rule stating that obligation there should be.
"That sounds like a good idea. Wait you aren"˜t going to push me into the dance floor again will you?"
"No, I promise." She held up her hand "We will be alone together. Now let"˜s go get drunk enough so that that makes sense."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a knock on the door, and the sound redoubled in Nathan's head. He moved his body, and quickly realized what a mistake that was. Finally, he got the courage to open one eye and glace at the clock. Nine!
Nathan sat up quickly. Which he soon realized was another mistake.
The door opened allowing the morning light to enter the room. Nathan's hand rose up in defense.
"Where were you last night?" It was Damien who opened the door.
"Could you please close the door?!" Nathan said with great effort, each movement of his mouth made him cringe.
"Do you have a hang-over?" He asked, his voice a little softer.
"Yes"¦ I do."
"Hahaha! Sorry!" Damien lowered his voice again when he saw the effect his laughter had. "Sorry! I just can't imagine you drunk." He smirked. "I wish I could have been there."
Damien motioned for Nathan to scoot over a little, then he slipped under the covers.
Nathan put his head on Damian's chest and rested his hands a little lower. Damien put his arms around Nathan and rested his chin on the top of his head.
"Feel any better?"
"Tons." He tilted his head upward and they kissed.
That's Just How It Is
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Whatever *normal* is.
It doesn't seem to be something that anyone can describe. I guess that is because, by nature, normalcy is unremarkable.
Being normal was something I used to care about, something that was important to me. Now it isn't"¦ I know now that that's just how it is.
~~~~~~~~
"Jeff I told you: It was an emergency. I had to leave without delay." She hopped from her left foot to her right one. Determined.
"You could have sent a message at some point. You could have called me three days ago. Hell, they still have phones in planes don't they?"
"Ah, Yeah, at five ninety five a minute"¦" Right to left. "I guess I could have used one of those and billed the company "”"
"No, I suppose it's better that you didn't then." Jeff cut her off briskly. "When are you coming back?"
"I'm not sure"¦ I don't really have a date, yet."
"Don't wait too long or you won't have a job to come back to." With that, he hung up abruptly and with force.
"Have a nice day to you, too!" She yelled at the phone melodramatically. "This, coupled with the shock of my grandmother's unexpected death"¦ !"
Nathan walked back over and consoled her. Then, he smacked the back of her head mischievously.
"You do remember that she didn't really die, right?"
Shelly turned around somewhat injured, her eyes soft, and large. "Are you suggesting that I lied?!"
"Ah, yeah, you just did." His eyebrows lowered.
"I did not! Grandma did too die. I just never mentioned when, or which one"¦" She smiled slyly.
"Oh you mean Gramma Sandy? You're right, she did die"¦ THREE YEARS AGO!!"
"Oh, this from the man taking college classes that he doesn't need, and isn't paying for." They both lost the heat in their voices and they giggled.
"I haven't done something like that since the tenth grade when you skipped school." Shelly reminisced. "Remember?"
"Vaguely. You pretended to be Mom and told an office attendant that I was sick."
Their moment of nostalgia was interrupted by a quick knock followed by a swishing sound as the door swung open.
"Nathan I "¦" Damien stopped immediately when he saw Shelly.
"˜Oh god don't let me lose track of"¦' As Shelly thought about it, it happened "” Damien's eyes met hers "” and she was helpless.
Nathan tapped his sister on the shoulder; she started. Her eyes swirled with confusion. Once she fully realized what happened, she turned bright red.
Nathan had a smug grin splitting his face in two. "You have it for him bad, don't you?"
"Who"¦?" She managed, still somewhat dazed. Looking around she could see that Damien was nowhere to be found. 'He must have left.'
"I do not!" She was finally fully aware and somehow she had managed to turn a deeper hue of red.
Nathan burst into a non-ending string of laughter.
"It's not funny!"
"You don't know the half of it," he said, while gasping between breaths.
"What do you mean by that?!"
Silence defeated the room.
"Ah"¦ Nothing"¦" He wiped the tears off of his cheeks. " Never mind."
"No, what? Tell me!!"
"There's nothing to tell, you know what happened "” you like Damien"¦ you spaced out, and I thought it amusing."
She glared at him her expression never changing.
"What?!" he growled.
She stared at him for a minute more, then finally withdrew her concentration.
"Do you think he knows?"
"Ha ha ha! Of course he does! What kind of question is that? How could he *not* know?"
"Sometimes guys aren't that intuitive"¦" she trailed off, knowing the line of thought was pointless; a blind, quadriplegic dog could tell that she liked him.
"Do you think he"¦ umm...?" The words were tainted with trepidation.
"˜Why did she have to ask? I can't answer"¦ I can't lie to her"¦' Nathan screamed de hde his head.
Then he looked around not knowing if the sound had reached outside. He opened his mouth, only to close it again.
"What is it? He doesn't, does he"¦"
Nathan finally spoke. "I don't think he is the kind of guy for you."
"How so?"
"˜Damn! I hadn't thought that she would ask that.'
"Ah"¦ He isn't one who gets attached to any specific girl"¦ from what I've seen."
"˜Nice, I didn't even lie.'
"Well I might not want a *relationship* per se"¦"
"Ewww"¦ Don't tell me that!" Nathan knew how vain her intentions were and he didn't know how to let his sister down easily without saying something he shouldn't. "But you deserve better."
"˜There! " He mentally patted himself on the head. "˜It wasn't quick thinking and it was relatively obvious three minutes ago when this started, but at least I found it.'
"You know, maybe I don't! I haven't dated anyone in three years. Did you know that? I think my standards are too high." She was quiet for a minute contemplating. "Okay I lied, it isn't how high my standards are, I haven't even had someone approach me for my standards to even matter." Shelly looked down, dejected.
"But you said that you had a date a week ago." Now it was Nathan's turn to look concerned. His sister never kept anything from him. It was that fact alone that made him feel so bad for keeping a secret from her. What was happening to them?
"I made Michael up"¦ He never existed. How sad is that? I was so lonely that I had to make someone up." She kept her vision on a certain spot on the ground that seemed to be unremarkable to Nathan.
"I'm sorry. We've always told each other that we would never be alone as long as we both lived, but it happened. No matter how hard we tried we went our separate ways." Nathan finished and silence ensued.
"Come here." Shelly slowly walked over to her brother and they hugged. "Will ill have each other. I know I am not what you want but I still love you.
They just stood there for a little while then Shelly pulled back. She looked at him straight in the eyes.
"How have you survived so long? You don't seem to be lonely, and you haven't dated anyone for a lot longer than I have."
"˜God this hurts me. She doesn't even know and already she is making me feel terrible.'
"I deal. I guess that it is what they call suffering in silence."
"˜I hate doing this to her. Why is it coming so easy then? The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made. I don't want to fake it though. Why can't I just tell her? She loves me"¦ but does she love me enough"¦? Is there something that could make her hate me? If there is, then I think that this might just be it. The question is: which is going to hurt her more: me lying or the truth? If only I knew"¦'
Shelly finally accepted this explanation, although with some skepticism. She looked at him and said, "Let's go get drunk."
Nathan had to laugh, if there wasn't a rule stating that obligation there should be.
"That sounds like a good idea. Wait you aren"˜t going to push me into the dance floor again will you?"
"No, I promise." She held up her hand "We will be alone together. Now let"˜s go get drunk enough so that that makes sense."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a knock on the door, and the sound redoubled in Nathan's head. He moved his body, and quickly realized what a mistake that was. Finally, he got the courage to open one eye and glace at the clock. Nine!
Nathan sat up quickly. Which he soon realized was another mistake.
The door opened allowing the morning light to enter the room. Nathan's hand rose up in defense.
"Where were you last night?" It was Damien who opened the door.
"Could you please close the door?!" Nathan said with great effort, each movement of his mouth made him cringe.
"Do you have a hang-over?" He asked, his voice a little softer.
"Yes"¦ I do."
"Hahaha! Sorry!" Damien lowered his voice again when he saw the effect his laughter had. "Sorry! I just can't imagine you drunk." He smirked. "I wish I could have been there."
Damien motioned for Nathan to scoot over a little, then he slipped under the covers.
Nathan put his head on Damian's chest and rested his hands a little lower. Damien put his arms around Nathan and rested his chin on the top of his head.
"Feel any better?"
"Tons." He tilted his head upward and they kissed.