Tokyo Boys

TOKYO BOYS
Chapter 38

Daisuke removed his shoes and was about to remove his bag when the door opened and Shouji trod inside. His suitcase dropped from his hand when his eyes landed on Daisuke.

“Sensei… you’re home early…”

“What the hell happened to you? You’re covered with blood!”

Daisuke made a face, smiling as much as the pain would let him. “Most of it is not mine, I think.”

“What did you do?” Shouji touched the boy’s face carefully with the back of his hand, making him shiver. “Come inside. I’ll get the first aid kit, that’s one nasty blow.”

Taking off his blazer and shirt carefully, Daisuke followed Shouji to the bathroom. The teacher kicked a stool in his direction and asked him to sit down. He then crouched slightly in front of the boy, put two fingers under his chin and forced his face up. Daisuke cringed when the antiseptic-soaked cotton touched his injured face.

“You may need stitches on this one if it’s still bleeding…” The teacher disinfected gently the boy’s torn eyebrow, where his piercing had been. Daisuke stamped his foot nervously as he waited for Shouji to finish disinfecting all his wounds and apply band-aids.

“There we go…” Shouji straightened up and tousled Daisuke’s hair gently. “Anywhere else?”

Daisuke shrugged. “I just bruised my ribs a little, but I don’t think they’re fractured…” he said, rubbing his side.

Shouji leaned in to inspect the boy’s chest.

“I can breathe fine, it just hurts a little…” Daisuke continued.

“I’ll get some ice. You should probably rest…” Shouji got up.

Daisuke quickly grabbed his wrist. “No, I’m fine… I need… I need to go…” he said quietly and got up, heading towards the exit.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Shouji blocked his way, stretching his arm on the doorframe. “You owe me some explanations.”

“I can’t…” Daisuke said quietly, clenching his fists. He lowered his head.

“Tell me,” Shouji insisted and crossed his arms.

“I can’t tell you!” Daisuke raised his voice and lifted his head to look at his teacher. He was breathing heavily and a clenched muscle twitched in his face.

“Why not? Don’t you trust me?” Shouji asked softly, but Daisuke just shifted his eyes, avoiding his stare.

“Daisuke, what kind of reputation do you think you give the school when you’re running around getting yourself involved in a street fight?” Shouji pressed, once there was still no reply from the boy.

“I can’t tell you…” Daisuke whispered. “I can’t tell you… I’m sorry…”

“I’m not going to let you leave until you talk to me.” Shouji blocked Daisuke’s way again. “It’s not like you to get into fights. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I CANT TELL YOU!!” Daisuke yelled at him, finally losing his patience. “Can’t you understand?!? I just can’t!!” His voice broke and suddenly he burst into tears and fell to his knees. “I can’t tell you…” He cried and leaned back, wiping his eyes. “Shit… I should’ve killed them… all of them… damn it all…”

Shouji was too stunned. It took him a moment to get over his shock. Then he kneeled in front of Daisuke and collected him into his arms. “It’s going to be fine…” he whispered.

The usually stoic boy grabbed Shouji’s sleeve tight and sobbed bitterly into the teacher’s chest. It seemed to the older man that all the emotions the teenager bottled up inside of him since being disowned by his father suddenly surfaced and hit like a powerful tsunami.

“It’s all my fault…” Daisuke continued to cry, clinging tighter to his teacher. “Sensei… how can I… how can I erase the past? I…” His voice broke again.

Several minutes passed before the boy’s cries subsided, turning into small whimpers. Shouji hugged him tight, rubbing his back, feeling the small trembles that crossed the boy’s body until the sobs stopped entirely and he pulled away, sniffing and wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

“It hurts…” Daisuke whispered meekly and Shouji knew he wasn’t referring to the wounds on his face. He had a feeling he knew what was troubling the teen, but remained silent.

“I… because of me… Yuu-chan…” Daisuke beat his own chest and then wrapped his hand around his pendant. “It’s my fault… how can I…”

His words confirmed Shouji’s suspicions and his face turned grave. “Did you go to 2-chome?” he asked quietly. “Is this about what happened to Kaname-kun?”

Daisuke raised his eyes to his teacher. “…You knew?”

Shouji pulled back and sighed. “I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Daisuke grabbed him again, this time by his lapels. “Why did you both keep this secret behind my back?”

Shouji forced his hands off him and pushed him away. “Because it doesn’t concern you.”

“It does!! Yuu-chan is my…” Daisuke swallowed briefly. “He’s my best friend…”

“You can understand how embarrassed and traumatized Kaname is feeling about it. He asked me not to tell anyone.” Shouji got up. “I don’t know how you found out, but going about town beating up people and getting into fights is not the way to deal with it.”

Daisuke got up. “They need to pay for what they did… I don’t care if I get thrown into jail!”

“Don’t just spout nonsense. Do you think it would make Kaname happy? To see you get hurt and maybe even worse? You’re always so selfish, Daisuke.” Shouji frowned at him. “You need to grow up and realize that people are not your playthings and you can’t have everything just because you want to. You need to start consider other people’s feelings.”

“Stop lecturing me… are you playing my teacher now?” Daisuke huffed at him.

“I am your teacher, in case you have forgotten…” Shouji threw back at him.

“So what do you want me to do? Let them go on as if nothing happened? Is that justice? You should’ve seen Yuu-chan… he…” Daisuke felt a lump blocking his throat. The thought of the terror that Yuu-chan underwent was unbearable.

“Just let it be. Instead of getting into more trouble and blaming yourself for not being there for him, be there for him now.”

“How can I even face him, sensei?” Daisuke asked quietly. “I’m the one who brought these people into his life. They said they did it because I owed them money.”

“You owed them money?” Shouji asked in confusion.

“When you took me in, I was working for… well, you know what I did… they paid the boss a lot of money so he would leave me alone… I knew for months and didn’t bother to go and return it.”

“That was just their excuse. It doesn’t make it your fault.” Shouji shook his head.

Daisuke didn’t look so convinced.

“Look, it happened a month ago, and Kaname has made a tremendous comeback since then. In large, thanks to you,” Shouji said quietly. “If there’s anyone who can help him heal it’s you.”

Daisuke relaxed his fists. The pain in his side suddenly seemed so trivial he could hardly notice it anymore. The ache in his heart was threatening to submerge him.

More than anything, he wanted to see Yuuto’s face. He wanted to hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to see his friend’s rare smile once more. If only he had looked after him better… Daisuke closed his eyes.

“I’m so stupid…” he whispered. “Is this love?”

Shouji shrugged. “Maybe.”

“It’s too painful… it’s got to be a joke.”

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