Pain and.. pain?

Whew! Am I glad to be able to update now! My computer is completely messed up for some reason but I managed to "fix" it at least a little bit! Yea me (and my IT geek brother, mostly him)!

Thanks for ALL the WONDERFUL reviews! I read them and realized I made a stupid mistake uploading the last chapter (left the last lines off, DUH) and that has been fixed so go check that out. I also fixed other stupid mistakes in that chapter. I guess I should really consider getting a beta for this story before it gets out of hand with my mistakes.

Anywhoo, hope you enjoy the chapter and as always let me know what you think!

*EDITED 23/06/2008*
I fixed the stupid mistakes (Thanks Mitts!).



CHAPTER 37



When my meeting with Tristan came to an end, we were both pouting grumpily. Tristan didn’t want me to leave and I wanted him to come with me. Diana assured me that we would see each other again soon but I wasn’t convinced. Knowing myself I would manage to anger Rose or Ron again and they wouldn’t let me see him after all.

I refused to talk all the way back to the house and when Diana parked the car on the driveway, jumped out and rushed towards the house without looking back.

“Jason!” Diana yelled after me but I pretended not to hear her. I yanked the front door open and pushed past Ron who had come to greet us in the hall with a smile on his face.

“Not a good day then?” He asked with raised eyebrows when I stormed towards the stairs and I had already reached the first landing when I heard him ask Diana. “What happened?”

I didn’t catch Diana’s answer in my hurry to be alone and raced forward. I startled Chris who was lounging on his own bed now by throwing the door open and then banging it closed.

“You okay?” He asked when I punched the closed door with a frustrated growl and I ignored him. Fuck him too for being so fucking confusing all the time now.

I slumped on my bed and threw bunny on the floor when it pressed uncomfortably against my back. Fuck Kevin too for letting them take Tristan. If he had brought Tristan home with him before the raid, we could have ended in the same place. Now Tristan was stuck with the stupid Nash family and I was stuck here with overly happy people and a roommate with mold for hair.

I screamed into my pillow and clutched it tightly in my fists. Anger soon changed into tears and I felt my shoulders starting to tremble when tears forced their way through my closed eyelids. My bed dipped and something soft brushed my ear.

“You don’t really want to throw it away.” Chris said softly and I clamped down on my lower lip. He started rubbing my back and I closed my eyes, trying to dry my face without him noticing.

Once I had calmed down a bit, Chris stopped rubbing my back and asked. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” I mumbled and turned away from him.

“Then why are you so upset?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Fuck off.” I rumbled and felt Chris tense next to me. For a moment I waited for a punch but before it came, the door opened.

“Christopher dear, would you mind?” Rose asked from the door and I buried my face back into the pillow when Chris moved off the bed. The door closed again and then my bed dipped again when Rose sat down on the edge of it. “Jason?” She asked gently and I turned around slowly. I avoided looking at Rose but knew that she was smiling that gentle smile of hers.

“How are you dear? Did you like seeing your friend?” She asked and I nodded carefully. “Diana told me you were a bit upset afterwards. Is everything alright with Tristan?” Rose continued and I nodded again.

“I just miss him.” I mumbled barely audible and scooted backwards a bit before sitting up. “He’s lonely there.”

“I’m sure Tristan is fine, Jason. I wish we could take him in dear but you have to understand that we don’t have any room for more children.” Rose said and I nodded with my head down.

“I know. I.. I’m sorry. I just.. it’s hard to see him and then have to leave him there alone again.” I sighed and rubbed on my cheeks to get the tear tracks to vanish.

“I know dear. You can see him again next week. I’ve invited Tristan here for the whole day on Saturday so you two can spend some time together.” Rose said and I looked at her for the first time since she had come to the room.

“You.. You have?”

Rose nodded with a smile and I looked down again, feeling embarrassed of my little tantrum now.

“I.. I’m sorry. For.. “

“It’s alright dear. We all have bad moments sometimes.” Rose assured me and with a small pat on my arm stood up. “Well, I think I’ll let Christopher back in. It’s nice to see that you two are getting along.”

I nodded and pulled my knees up to my chest, before resting my chin on top of them. I heard Chris come in but didn’t look up until he sat down on my bed. “So.. are you still angry?” He asked carefully and I sighed.

“No. S-Sorry.” I mumbled and Chris grinned crookedly.

“I like it when you get mad. It shows that you’re not the little victim they paint you to be.” He said and I glanced at him perplexedly. “I was surprised it took me so long to get you to stand up for yourself. I was starting to think you were a bit of an idiot to be honest.” Chris continued and I flung my pillow at him.

“Asshole. You were mean to me because you wanted to see if I’d stand up for myself?” I grumbled and hugged my knees a little tighter. Chris who had ducked down to avoid the offending pillow sat up again with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

“Well, yeah! I hate people who play the victim card.” He said and tucked my pillow behind his head while he leaned on the wall. “I’m glad you showed some balls, even though I would have preferred not to get hit but anyway.. You’re too cute to be mean to.” Chris continued and I blushed. I dared a quick glance at him and noticed that he didn’t seem one bit embarrassed of what he had just said.

“Are.. Are you..”

“Gay? Yeah. Does that trouble you?” Chris asked and for once looked at me seriously. I shook my head quickly and he made a small nodding motion with his head before asking. “Are you?”

I looked down and thought about his question. I had never really thought about my sexuality. I had never even kissed a girl let alone done more than that and my experiences of sex with men weren’t exactly rosy. “I.. I don’t know. I’ve never kissed a girl.” I mumbled and Chris looked at me with his eyes twinkling.

“Do you want to find out?” He asked with a mischievous grin and before I could get any words out, shouted out. “Nicole!”

A moment later Nicole, who had dyed her hair black since I had last seen her, opened the door and leaned on the doorframe looking bored and chewing gum. “What?”

“Kiss Jason. We’re trying to figure out if he’s gay or not.” Chris said and I blushed crimson red.

“Chris, n-no. I..”

“Shut up and kiss her. You might was well figure this out now and not realize you’re queer when your thirty and have some bitch of a wife, two kids, a golden retriever named Buddy and a minivan.” Chris snapped at me and to my horror Nicole came forward with her hips swaying from side to side.

“But.. But she’s fourteen. I.. I can’t…”

“Look, asshole, I’ve done a lot more than kissing already so you can stop acting like you care. Come on then, I won’t hurt you. Much.” Nicole intervened and planted herself on the bed between me and Chris. I opened my mouth to protest again and Nicole dived for the opportunity. She tasted like strawberry lip gloss and fruity gum and her tongue in my mouth just felt weird. When she pulled away, I gulped and tried not to look at her or Chris who were both staring at me questionably.

“Well?”Chris inquired with raised eyebrows and I shook my head. Nicole huffed and got off the bed.

“He’s queer.” She announced and my blush was starting to get painful.

“No! Just.. Just because I didn’t feel anything with you doesn’t mean that I’m g-gay!” I protested and didn’t miss the grin spreading on Chris’ face.

“Thanks Nicole. Off you go then, chop chop.” He said brightly and Nicole rolled her eyes but obeyed none the less. When the door closed after her, I sighed and let my knees fall down.

“You’re mean.” I mumbled and flinched when I suddenly found my lap full of a certain green haired boy.

“Just practical. Now stay still.” Chris said and entwined his hand in my hair before planting his lips on mine. I tensed and tried to pull back but Chris wouldn’t let me move. A tongue flickered against my lips and I granted Chris access, not knowing what else to do and Chris took advantage of my submissiveness instantly. I got pushed backwards until my back hit the mattress and Chris shifted to straddle me. My stomach fluttered and I tensed under Chris.

He pulled away and leaned his hands on both side of my head, looking down at me. “You okay?” He asked and I nodded shakily. I was breathing hard and couldn’t stop staring at his red glossy lips. Chris lowered himself to sit on my lap and grinned. “Well, I guess this case is cracked.” He said smugly and I blushed when I realized that I had sprouted a very healthy teenage hard on while he had been kissing me.

Chris grinned and leaned down again. I tensed and closed my eyes but he only gave my lips a short peck before climbing off me. He sat down next to me and I scooted back to sit against the wall, picked up my pillow and planted it on my lap to hide my tented jeans.

“I.. um…”

“I like you Jason. I think you’re cute.” Chris said bluntly and reached out to brush my hair out of my eyes. I looked down and licked my lips. I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss we had just shared. It had definitely been better than kissing Nicole. Did that make me gay? I guess it did. Just thinking about Chris pressing against me made me flush and I pressed my palms against my closed eyelids to hide the fact that my eyes were getting wet.

I was gay.

“Hey, Jason. Come one, its okay. I’m sorry.” Chris said softly and I felt his hand encircle my wrists. He tried to pry my hands away from my face and I grouched down. “It’s okay to be gay, Jason. Rose and Ron wont care, they know I’m gay and they still like me.” Chris continued and pulled me into a hug when he couldn’t get me to look at him. I buried my face against his chest and let the tears come.

I didn’t care that I was gay really and I didn’t know why I was crying like a baby. It just got overwhelming to finally hear someone say it out loud. No one had ever cared if I was gay or not. You don’t need to be gay to be fucked by men. I never enjoyed sex with anyone, I had always just been pleased if it hadn’t hurt too much and I wasn’t bleeding.



When my tears ran out, I pulled away from Chris carefully. “S-Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You can’t change who you are.” Chris said with a small smile and I rubbed on my red puffy face.

“God, I’m such a baby.” I mumbled and leaned down so that my hair fell over my eyes.

“You had no idea you might be gay?” Chris asked and reached out to tug my hair behind my ears.

“I… I never thought about it. It never mattered before.” I mumbled and paused, not wanting to tell Chris about my past. The other didn’t say anything and I looked up. “So… you like me?” I asked, sniffling away the rest of my tears and Chris’ serious expression, melted into a smile.

“Yeah, I do!” His grin faded a little and he looked down, suddenly looking unsure of himself. “Do… Do you like me?” He asked quietly and I cocked my head to the side while looking at him carefully. He actually looked kind of cute when he wasn’t being his usual cocky self.

“Yeah, I guess I do. When you’re not being an asshole.” I said finally and Chris looked up.

“I’m not an asshole. I just comforted you didn’t I?”

“Yeah but two weeks ago you would have punched me for disturbing you.” I said awkwardly and looked away. Chris moved and I couldn’t help flinching, thinking that I had pushed him too far. Chris stilled for a moment before reaching out slowly.

“I know I was a bastard. I’m sorry.” He said and tried to tug my hair behind my ears again. It didn’t want to stay there. We sat in silence for a moment until Chris leaned close to my ear. “Let me make it better, okay?” Shivers ran down my back and I nodded carefully.

I could feel Chris’ grin against my ear and then found myself pulled to lie down again. Chris straddled me once again and leaned down to kiss. A sigh escaped my lips and I blushed for what felt like the thousandth time in just today. Chris chuckled against my lips and lowered himself to lie down on top of me. I parted my legs in reaction and felt uncomfortable instantly. Why was I acting like Chris was a customer at the Cave? Chris picked up on my awkwardness and rolled to lie down beside me instead, draping his arm across my flat stomach. “Sorry, got carried away.” He said and pecked my cheek quickly before resting his head on my shoulder and sighing. He was looking very content and I tried to twist my neck so I could see him better.

“Um.. What are you doing?” I asked uncertainly as Chris closed his eyes..

“Taking a nap. I told you this morning, I’m doing nada today.” He said and my stomach tingled from where his arm was running over it.

“But..”

“Shut up and let me sleep.” Chris grumbled lightly and I gave up trying to understand him. Chris seemed set on confusing me lately.



After dinner I volunteered to clean up again, trying to make up for my snappy mood earlier and to my surprise Chris hung around downstairs too instead of disappearing upstairs as soon as he was dismissed. When the kitchen was spotless, I wandered into the livingroom and found everyone gathered around the TV. I hovered by the doorway for a moment before turning back and going upstairs instead. I might as well seize the opportunity and write in my journal now that Chris was occupied. He still smirked at me every time I opened the book to write and I concentrated better without him sniggering at me in the background.

Chris didn’t come in until over an hour later when I had already changed into my PJs and slipped under the covers. I had propped my book on English grammar against the pillow, reading through the stuff Ron had said we would start on Monday and glanced at Chris shortly when he crossed the room.

“Like what you see?” He asked and wiggled his ass in my direction. I blushed and concentrated hard on the book in front of me. I watched from the corner of my eye how Chris stripped down to his boxers and then crossed the room to me carrying his pillow. As he climbed over me, I bit my lower lip and asked.

“Did you even consider sleeping in your own bed?”

“Nope. Not until you stop having nightmares.” Chris answered easily and got under the covers with me before tucking the pillow under his head.

“But.. I haven’t..”

“Yeah because I’m sleeping next to you. You’re still trashing in your sleep though.” Chris said and closed his eyes.

“How can you still be tired? You’ve slept the whole day.” I mumbled and closed the book. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate with Chris emitting heat next to me.

“You have to take advantage of the free time; I’ve been working my ass off the whole week with the extra chores and school. I need my rest.” Chris said and prodded my arm with his finger. I got the hint and turned my back to him so we could fit on the bed a little better. An arm sneaked around my waist and sent butterflies in to my belly. I pulled bunny into my chest and closed my eyes, trying to will down the budding erection forming in my PJs.

Damn Chris.