November

November 24: Thursday

Joey and the Admiral were scheduled to leave in the afternoon. First train out to home was an hour after Michael's first meeting as captain. They had breakfast together, just the three of them, at the table by the window in his parents' suite. Joey didn't talk much, the Admiral talked incessantly. Michael just listened. Ate his eggs and wondered if he could add up all the time he'd spent with his family, at home, like this. It wouldn't ever be enough. He could eat these eggs all day, he decided, with his father just talking and Joey making faces at the bravado in his stories and all three of them, just happy there together in their own little corner of the windblown world.

When he got home late that morning, there were piles of folded clothes and a stack of soap from Joey, and a note from his father reminding Michael how much they loved him.

~:~

The worst days in life always come out of nowhere. There's no buildup. No crescendo. Not like good days. Good days - birthdays and holidays and weddings and promotions - those you see coming for miles. You look forward to them. You plan for them. You buy special clothes and get a haircut in anticipation of them. Not like bad days. Not like this.

"Sai-ai..."
Sai took two more steps backwards, felt the rough concrete wall press against his back. He took an unsteady breath. Maybe he could try for the door.
"Sick, Scotty. Nah, man, come on."
he shook his head and tried to act natural. Stare him down. He'd heard if you looked straight in a dog's eyes you could intimidate them, let 'em know who was boss. Maybe that worked on friends of yours who had lost their fuckin' minds and started trying to pull your legs apart, too.

All he'd wanted was a little weed. Honestly. That's it. No big deal, no lotta trouble. Just a little hash and he'd be happily on his way. He had done this once, twice, a million times before and nothing had ever happened. Scotty had never so much as looked twice his way. Except today.
Today he'd gotten all friendly. Today he'd had a lot of questions to ask - how old Sai was and how long he'd been a carrier. Where he'd come from. There was a couch - really, an old bench with some blankets on it - in the storeroom, and Hunter, Scotty's sidekick jock friend, had been sitting on it, toking and just getting relaxed. Scotty was in his chair. He'd invited Sai to sit down, told him to just take a break, relax like it was old times and nothing crazy was going on outside. Things could be rough on men these days, especially ones that found themselves in a particular kind of way. They were in a bind together, anyway, he'd said, had each other by the balls. Sai could turn him in; Scotty could do the same. No sense not being friends.
Sai had sat down.
Scotty talked to him while he cut and weighed coke, his fingers moving skillfully, quickly across the table. Sai hated watching him do it; it felt like too much, like he knew more than he'd like to. He just liked to get his weed and get out of there. He didn't want to sit. Then they'd kept talking and he'd started relaxing a little, taken a few hits from Hunter's spliff and started to lean back into the couch. Scotty asked him if he'd ever tried white.
Sai shook his head, said he didn't do blow, didn't like that vibe. Scotty said come on, Sai. Just once.
Sai said he'd rather not.
Scotty said he thought that was suspicious.
Hunter moved in his seat. Things seemed to get tense. After about fifteen minutes of arguing, there was no reasonable extraction.


"Sai-ai..."
Scotty came a little closer to him, broke the invisible wall of tension that had grown up between them. Invaded that space where you knew the second the line was crossed there wasn't any undoing - no going back now, like the minute they caught you with your hand in the jar and you knew your best option was to take what you had and run with it.
Scotty giggled and continued his approach.
"Where you running to, Sai? The door? You're not gonna make it to the door. Gonna try to make it past Hunter, past me? This is my storeroom, remember? No windows, no cameras. You said it made you feel safe. Free to do as you pleased. To come down here and take me up on my offer."
Sai heaved back against the wall and shook his head. Scott was within striking distance. Sai had considered before how braw Scott was. In fact, he had been quite concerned for his own safety the first time Javier had brought him down here, and had come up with a hundred different contingency plans to handle an emergency situations. Ways to kill a soldier if he had to. But those were just imagination; this was real. This was happening. He decided to try to talk his way out of it. His head felt bright, clear. The lights were a little bit blinding.
"Scotty! Come on! You know me, brah!"
"I know you gotta pay me."
"I did pay you!"
"Just for the green. What about my white, baby?"
"You said it was on the house, man!"
Scotty cocked his head.
"Did I? I'm sorry, sweetheart. Price went up."
he took another step closer. Sai could smell him, could smell the sweat on him, the spice and outside cold from being on duty all day. His head was spinning. He felt antsy, eager, itchy.
"Stay the fuck back from me, Scott!"
There were two figures now, Scotty approaching, Hunter covering his back. Sai glanced around - left, right, up, even and down. Nothing. Walls. Ahead of him there was a table illuminated under a bare bulb. Six pounds of hash and a quarter kilo of coke sat on a low shelf behind it.
"I'll tell. I swear I'll tell. I'll bring this whole motherfucker down on your heads."
Scotty laughed.
"No, you won't."
"Try me on for size, man, just try me. Actually, no. First, I'm gonna kick your little busboy Hunter in the fucking mouth if he gets two steps closer to me - "
Hunter paused.
"- then I'm going to kick you in the teeth for even thinking you can come near me, man - "
Scott laughed again.
"- and then I'm gonna tell."
Scotty grinned.
"Aw, now, you don't mean that. That's just the white stuff talking, sweetheart. All that machismo, all the rage - it's just a rush charge. You try to stay calm, now. This will only take a second."
Scott flicked two fingers at Hunter, who lunged for Sai. Sai leaned to the side, prepped himself to take a hit and retaliate, when a blow he had not been expecting came from Scotty's side. His skull cracked backwards, into the wall.
"Fuck, Scott!"
Stars danced in front of his eyes. He threw himself forward, into the fray, slammed one shoulder into whatever was in front of him and felt it satisfyingly connect with Scotty's stomach. He got two good hits in, one to the kidneys, before Hunter was one his back, trapping one arm and pulling him down to the ground. He growled and tried to kick, but unbalanced them both and ended up facedown on the concrete with Hunter on top of him and Scotty halfway standing above them, still cradling his stomach. He was wheezing, and when he looked down at Sai, his eyes were filled with malice.
"You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch fucking freak, I'm gonna kill you."
Sai felt a little bite of fear, but he was so stretched on adrenaline and the residuals of the long line before that it was just fuel to the fire. He wrestled harder to get free from Hunter.
"Come for it. Come for it, you fuckin' pussy!"
Scotty cough-laughed and reached behind him to the table, opened a drawer, and pulled out a hammer and a rope.

A slam against the door distracted them both. Another thud, like something heavy hitting it, then a third and the door gave way to reveal another officer, standing in the hall, looking very, very angry.
"Do it and you'a dead, boy."
Scotty turned to face off the new opponent.
"And just who the fuck are you?"
the man shook his head.
"Don' worry bout who I am. You jus' let him go."
Scotty straightened up, tensed his chest. Sai recognized the trademark movements of someone about to do something stupid.
"I don't know who the fuck you think you are - "
he didn't get to finish the sentence. The man had surprise on his side and the fact that Scotty was already hit, and although Scott was a good fighter, he wasn't ready for this one. It wasn't an even struggle. The man took one good hit to the jaw, but for the most part, Scott went down fast. Hunter tightened his arm around Sai's neck, unsure whether or not he should let him go and help his friend. The man got one last punch in, let Scott fall to the floor, and turned to Hunter.
"Gimme 'im."
Hunter shook his head.
"I don't wanna ask you again, Private."
Hunter seemed to consider this. He glanced around.
"You alone?"
the man nodded. He was holding both hands out in front of him, approaching slowly. Sai noticed blood on the side of his face.
"You never saw me. I wasn't ever here." Hunter demanded, shaking Sai as he did so.
the man nodded. Sai felt the air come rushing back into his lungs as Hunter released him and ran. The man rushed over, helped Sai up to his feet.
"You alright, cher?"
Sai nodded. He felt dizzy and hot. He wanted to lie down. He aimed for the couch.
"Whoa, whoa. Now, now, come on, let's get you outta here and upstairs before you do all that."
Sai's head swam. He nodded. Then the room went all kinds of funny colors before settling on black.


When he woke up, he was in the infirmary and a strange man and Sloane were standing on either side of him. He could see a nurse, seated in a chair in the far corner of the room. The man looked vaguely familiar. Sai tried to place him. He was tall, maybe six foot, and slim, with short, dark hair and mischievous hazel eyes.
Sai wondered where he knew him from. He blinked and tried to think. Weed. Javier. Scotty. The storeroom. A Cajun. A fight. A kilo of coke. It all seemed like a bad dream. He lifted his arm. It had an IV in it. Fuck. That wasn't a good sign. He tried to talk. His mouth felt chalky and dry. He talked anyway.
"Hey, guys. I'm fine. Just had a little run-in on my way to the gym earlier."
The man's expression was one of mixed interest. Sloane just looked mad. Sai considered this for a moment and swallowed.
"So am I busted, boys?"
A low laugh came from the man at the side of his bed.
"Yea. I'd say you busted, cher."
Sloane cleared his throat.
"This is Lieutenant Colonel Broussard." Sai blinked ignorantly at him. "Of the Anti-Narcotics Division."
"Ooh."
"Yeah, 'ooh'." Sloane snapped, before recollecting himself. "He wants to ask you a few questions."
Sai glanced to the side.
"I don't remember anything."
Broussard laughed.
"Alors pas, I bet you don't. Sloane, might I just have a few minutes alone with Mr. Wyatt?"
Sloane hesitated, but Broussard gave him a reassuring smile.
"Just five minutes. Two forms we've got to fill out, few questions on the incident, and then you can have him back."
Sloane glanced back at Sai, who shrugged and looked bewildered.
"OK. Five minutes. But I'll be right outside the door."
Broussard smiled and opened it for him.
"I thank you kindly for it."

The door clicked shut. Broussard locked it and turned to face Sai.
"Alright, sweetheart," he said, and Sai's pulse jumped twenty beats, "This will only take a second."

~:~

Michael met him for lunch. When Jesse walked in to the cafeteria, he was already sitting there, alone at a table for two by the window facing the south woods.
"Hey."
Michael jerked a little, and smiled up at Jesse.
"Hey."
Jesse looked around and sat down quickly, hoping nobody saw. He was wearing another blue natori that Michael had left for him. Apparently his fiancé liked the color. There was a mug of coffee on the table for him and a half-drunk one in front of Michael. Jesse leaned forward and took it up sullenly.
"So I wanted to talk to you."
"Hate these natoris, Michael."
Michael rolled his eyes, idly rubbing the coffee cup back and forth in his hands.
"I know. But listen - "
"Everybody looks at me funny."
Michael twisted his fingers through the cup's handle and looked down at the table.
"No, they don't. Jesse - "
"I look stupid."
Jesse pouted around a sip of coffee. Michael shook his head.
"No, you don't. You just - "
"When are you gonna give me my pants back?"
Michael released the coffee cup completely, rubbing his palms together.
"Soon. Listen, I have something - "
"It's really unfairly emasculating, you know. I mean - "
"Jesus, Jesse, please, I'm trying to talk here!"
Jesse stopped and stared up at Michael in surprise.
"I have something I need to ask you, and I'd kind of like it if you could maybe listen to me for a little while."
Jesse furrowed his brow.
"OK."
"I would like it very much," he began, then coughed and rubbed his hands on his knees, "if you would marry me."
Michael produced from nowhere a small black box, which he opened and set on the table. He withdrew his hands and folded them neatly behind his coffee cup, then looked hopefully up at Jesse; Jesse just frowned.
"What is this?"
A strange look seized Michael's face.
"I mean, it was only if you want to, I wasn't trying to make things strange or put any pressure on you, I didn't mean to violate your space or our relationship or anything and I know this is new, but I just thought it might be nice if - "
Jesse laughed and he put down his cup to link hands with Michael.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant - aren't we already engaged?"
Michael's grin returned and he half-shrugged.
"I never really asked you before."
Jesse looked down at the small black box and its simple, pretty ring, then up at Michael, who was looking so adorably hopeful.
"Thank you, Michael. Obviously, yes."
Michael smiled wide and Jesse was surprised to realize that he was actually worried he might've gotten a no. Michael squeezed his hand and leaned across the table to kiss him, fair buzzing with excitement.
"Great. Let's get married."
Jesse put the ring on; it was nice - a simple, brilliant silver with no stones, engraved instead with the pattern of two vines. He smiled. It didn't look bad on his hand.
"Sounds like a plan. When?"
"Friday."
"What?"
"Friday. Let's get married."
Jesse blinked rapidly.
"That's fast."
"I know!"
"That's soon."
"Yup."
"That's...tomorrow."
"Yes! I don't want to wait."
Jesse frowned again.
"Nobody will be able to come."
"Sure they will! Your friends are all here; your mom's just up the road. We'll grab a priest and make it legal!"
"What about your parents? They left this morning."
"No, they didn't."
"What?"
"No, I told them to stay."
"Um..."
"I got back from my meeting, and I realized - I want to do this."
"Michael. I think you're - "
"I want my family to happen now."
"OK. Let's just think this over. Maybe - "
"Jesse, please." Michael met his eyes; his face was full of hope, of excitement, of loneliness and poorly restrained glee.
"This is how it's all going to end up anyway. I just want to save us some time. And some hassle. I hate living in this tenuous position with you. I hate not ever being sure that they will let me take care of you. I hate not being sure about our place in this world. I hate not being sure about us."
Jesse didn't know if he liked the sound of that.
"Michael, I don't know - "
"And Jesse, dammit, I'm in love with you."
Jesse sighed. He could feel himself giving in.
"Yes. Yes, alright, I guess maybe we could - "
"Thank you!"
A few tables in the cafeteria turned to look at Michael's outburst. He quickly smothered it and squeezed Jesse's hand again. "Thank you, Jesse." he kissed the hand which held his.
"I love you madly. And I promise I will always do everything in my power to make you happy."
Jesse nodded and squeezed Michael's hand again. He dragged his eyes up across the places they touched - the ring, his hand, Michael's chest because he wondered if he could see his heart thumping like in those crazy old cartoons, and finally to Michael's eyes.
"I promise I'll do the same."