Pain and.. pain?
Chapter 36
sorry it took me this long to get this chapter up but school has just been a nightmare with the exams! I had three this past week and it wasnt fun! anyway, now i should have a bit more time to write until my next exam which isnt until two weeks from now!
So, on with the story! please keep reviewing and I'l ltry to put up the next chapter early next week if not during the weekend!
And yes, Kevin will be making a re-appearance and I will so will dear old daddy and Jonathan (but if you want to know what happens you'll have to keep reading!)
*EDITED 17/06/2008*
Ok, I found out i made a LOT of stupid mistakes in this chapter (thanks mitts) and also that I left out the last line when posting it originally! DUH! Do i feel stupid now! Anyway, I fixed the errors I could find and were pointed out to me, also added the last line that doesnt end the chapter so bluntly with a question. My computer is having major issues still and keeps freezing on me so I dont know when I'l manage toupdate next. Hopefully soon.
CHAPTER 36
I had changed into my new ducky PJs and sat on my bed writing into my journal when Chris sauntered into the room. I glanced up but returned my focus back to my writing while Chris stripped down to his boxers.
Since our second fight Chris seemed to have gotten more comfortable with sharing the room with me for some reason. He preferred to sleep in just his boxers and liked to lounge around in his underwear too. It had bothered me at first but then I decided to just ignore it. I didn’t want to do anything to rock the boat now that things had cooled down a bit.
Ron came after nine when the house was starting to quiet down and handed me an envelope. “You got mail today, Jason. Here you go.” He announced and I looked up in surprise. Mail? To me?
I took the envelope from him hesitantly and looked at the handwriting. It didn’t look familiar. I waited until Ron was out of the room before tearing the letter open and unfolding the single sheet of paper inside. The note was short but it made my stomach drop.
‘I know where you are.’
No signature, nothing but the one line.
“Hey, you okay? You went all pale all of a sudden.” Chris asked from his bed and I glanced at him with wide eyes, my heart racing hard in my chest.
“Y-Yeah.” I breathed out and the other frowned.
“You sure?”
“Uh huh. Good night.” I whispered and stuffed the note hastily between the pages of my journal before slipping the whole thing under my pillow. I lay down and pulled the covers literally up to my ears so that only the top of my head was showing.
I felt like someone had kicked me in the heart and stomped all over it. Any peace of mind I had had was gone and the all too familiar fear was taking over. My mind was racing and I pulled bunny tight against my chest. They knew where I was. They were coming for me. I wasn’t safe here.
It took me a long time to stop my heart from racing and exhaustion washed over me. Chris had turned off the lights some time ago and the room was filled with heavy silence. I slowly fell into a restless sleep and clutched bunny tightly in my sleep.
I woke up only an hour later with a scream. I jerked awake violently and felt big tears roll down my cheeks while I struggled for breath. No no no. In my dream I had been back home, only dad hadn’t been there but Jonathan.
A hand touched my shoulder and I turned around. Chris was standing by my bed, looking worried. “Jason? Are you okay?” He asked with a whisper and I tried to choke down my tears. I couldn’t get a word out so I just nodded shakily.
Apparently Chris wasn’t convinced because he sat down on my bed and pulled my blanket better over me. “Come on, you need to calm down. It was just a dream.” He said and rubbed soothing circles on my back while I buried my face into bunny’s fur, trying to stop crying. I didn’t want Chris to see my tears so I rolled to face the wall, turning my back to him.
Chris shifted slightly but kept rubbing my back. If I hadn’t been so shaken by my dream, I had probably already shoved him off the bed but now it just felt calming to know that I wasn’t alone.
“You’re shivering. Are you cold?” Chris asked softly and I tried to shake my head.
“N-No.” I stuttered out meekly and Chris huffed slightly. He shifted again and I tensed when he slipped under the covers with me. “W-What…”
“Shh, I got you, okay? Just sleep.” Chris whispered into my neck and wrapped one arm around my chest, pressing close. I shivered at the feeling of his warm body pressing against me and closed my eyes, not trying to push him away. It took me some time to relax with him so close but then I thought about all those times I had slept with Tristan at the Cave. Slowly I fell back to sleep, calmed by Chris’ presence in my bed and this time there was no nightmares.
I woke up in the morning feeling groggy and it took me a moment to remember what had happened the night before.
“Morning.” A tired voice mumbled into my shoulder and I tensed for a moment before feeling myself blush.
“M-Morning.” I mumbled back and hugged bunny closer. I couldn’t believe Chris was in my bed.
“Did you sleep well?” Chris asked, rubbing his face against my shoulder and I blushed deeper wondering if he was aware of what he was doing.
“Y-Yeah.”
“Good. Damn, I need to get up.” Chris sighed and pulled away from me. I found myself regretting the loss of warmth and buried my face in the pillow, hoping that Chris hadn’t noticed the blush covering my face. He was getting dressed behind me and soon heading downstairs for breakfast. I just waited for him to go so I could get up too and get ready for studying with Ron again.
“Cute PJs by the way.” Chris grinned from the door before disappearing into the hallway and I groaned into my pillow. Great, now he was making fun of me again.
A few minutes later Ron’s head popped into view and I pushed my blanket aside before he could say anything. “Rise and shine! Hurry downstairs for breakfast so we can get started, okay?”
“Yeah.” I mumbled groggily and rubbed on my face tiredly. I wanted to tell Ron I was too tired to study but knew I had no choice in the matter. Ron disappeared and I started getting dressed with a sigh.
I was picking up my books from the small desk when I noticed my journal on top of them. I frowned, sure that I had stuffed the thing under my pillow last night and reached to pick up my pillow. There was nothing there and I let the pillow drop back on the bed with a soft thud. Chris must have moved the journal from under my pillow to my desk but.. Did that mean he had read it again? Had he seen the note?
I felt myself pale and picked up the journal in a hurry. I flipped it open and felt somewhat relieved to see the unsigned note still between the pages. I stared at it for a while before remembering that Ron was waiting for me downstairs and stuffed the note back between the pages. I would need to start hiding the journal better if Chris was going to make a habit out of reading it.
Later in the afternoon, while the others were still at school and Ron was out doing grocery shopping, I sat in one of the comfy armchairs in the livingroom and tried to read the homework Ron had given me. I had quickly realized that I hated history. All the names and dates and stupid people. I preferred future for history that was for sure.
I heard someone walk into the room and looked up from my reading. It was Rose and I offered her a small smile. I did like her; she was warm and kind.
“How are you doing, dear? Are you hungry? I could make you some sandwiches if you want.” Rose asked while setting a vase with fresh flowers on the sofa table. She loved fresh flowers and there wasn’t a day when the house was flower-free.
“No, I’m okay, thanks.” I said and Rose smiled. She sat down on the sofa and gave the flowers one last glance before setting her eyes on me and asking.
“How are you doing, Jason. Nicole said she heard yelling from your room last night.”
I blushed and looked down. “I’m okay. It was just.. I had a bad dream. I’m okay now.” I mumbled and Rose’s expression grew more worried. She studied me closely for a while before saying in a sweet soft voice.
“If there’s something that troubles you, Jason, you can always tell me, alright dear?” Anything at all. You don’t need to be afraid of anything.”
“N-No, I’m good, honestly.” I mumbled with a slight blush and Rose smiled gently.
“I know Christopher is not the easiest boy to share your room with dear, but it was the only choice when Diana called me and asked if I could take you in. Christopher can sometimes be a bit slow to warm up to new people and sometimes a bit… harsh.” She said and gave me a penetrating look. “If you have problems with him, please tell me Jason so I can speak to him.” Rose continued and I nodded carefully.
I wasn’t going to tell her anything even if Chris would hit me again.
Rose smiled and gave a small smart nod before getting on her feet again. “Well, better get started on dinner. I’m making lasagna today.” She said brightly and disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.
I considered offering my help just for a moment before deciding against it. I really needed to read history for now.
I woke up on Saturday morning in to a loud beeping noise and whined in annoyance. The bed shifted and the beeping stopped before Chris mumbled into my neck. “You need to get up. It’s nine and Diana is picking you up in half an hour.”
He was in my bed again like every night since Wednesday. I still had nightmares and Chris had crossed the room to slip in my bed behind me every night after I had woken up with a jerk and covered in cold sweat. I didn’t mind even though it was still confusing. After waking up in nightmares it was nice to have him there, pressed against my back, telling me I was safe. Crazily enough I did feel safe when he was in my bed. I was almost convinced that I was seriously out of my mind.
“Mmh.” I mumbled and shifted around. Chris hadn’t moved and I now found myself face to face with him. A bit too much face to face. I blushed and looked down, only to set my eyes onto his bare chest which made me blush even more. “Um.. Aren’t you getting up?” I mumbled and Chris, who still had his eyes closed, buried his face against my chest. Thank god one of us was wearing a shirt.
“No. I don’t have any other plans for today except sleep late, wake up for lunch and play basket with Nick.” Chris mumbled into my chest and pulled the blanket over his bare shoulders.
“I.. I need to get up.” I said quietly and Chris’ shoulders made a miniscule twitch that I expected was a shrug. “Can.. Can you move?”
“Too tired. Just climb over me.” Chris yawned and pulled my pillow from under my head to under his. I gnawed on my lower lip and sat up slowly. I hesitated for a moment before climbing over Chris who rolled on his stomach the moment I was off the bed.
I stared at him for a while before shaking my head quietly and moving on to getting dressed. As I was pulling on my jeans, excitement rose in my chest. I was going to see Tristan!
I finished getting dressed and threw one last glance at the mop of greenish hair poking out from under my blanket before heading downstairs.
Ron was loading up the coffee maker with his hair a bit tousled and glanced at me when I walked into the room. “Morning. Did you sleep well?” He asked and I nodded quietly while going to get the cereals from the cupboard.
“So, are you exited to see your friend?” Ron asked when sitting down opposite me and I nodded again, pushing my cereal around in the milk. I had been hungry but now I was too anxious to eat. I tried downing the soggy cereals for another ten minutes before giving up and pushing my bowl away.
“Not hungry?” Ron asked and I just shook my head. Ron smiled and squinted at the morning paper again. “Diana should be here any minute now, don’t worry, you’ll see your friend.” He said and I got on my feet, shuffling towards the sink with my bowl.
Half an hour later I was sitting in the car with Diana, fidgeting on my seat nervously.
“Are we there yet?” I asked for the hundred time and stared out of the car window anxiously.
“In a minute dear.” Diana smiled and took a left on the next crossing.
“Where are we going?” I asked nervously and tugged on the collar of my hoodie. I felt like I was choking.
“To the foster home where Tristan is placed. We thought it would be better not to have the meeting there since he really hasn’t completely settled in yet.” Diana said and made yet another turn. “Ah, here we are dear.”
I followed her gaze and saw a nice looking white house on the left. Diana parked on the driveway and I took off my seatbelt. I was out of the car before Diana could turn off the engine and shuffled on my feet restlessly, ready to go inside but knowing I needed to wait for Diana.
I followed her to the house and fidgeted with the hem of my hoodie while Diana rang the doorbell. We were let in by a man in his mid-fifties and he introduced himself as Mr. Nash before leading us towards the livingroom.
“Tristan, your friend is here.” He said from the doorway and made room for me. I stepped around him and saw Tristan sitting on one of the armchairs, looking haunted.
“Tristan.” I breathed out and his head snapped around to look at me. We just stared at each other for a moment before my face broke into a smile and I felt tears burn in my eyes. I took a step towards him and Tristan shot out of his seat, running to me and jumping me with his arms spread wide.
“You came!” He cried out and hugged me hard. I smiled and tried to blink back tears while hugging him back tightly.
“Of course I did. God I missed you.” I mumbled and couldn’t help my voice from breaking. “I.. I’m sorry I didn’t come last week. I’m sorry.” I whispered and buried my hand in Tristan’s hair. It had been cut since I had last seen him, not going over his ears and into his eyes anymore. He looked nice.
“Um, Tristan, why don’t you show Jason your room dear?” Diana said sweetly and I looked up with wet eyes. Tristan let go of me and took my hand before motoring off towards upstairs. I hurried to keep up with him and tried to have a look around the house at the same time. We reached a dark wooden door and Tristan pushed it open, pulled me inside and closed the door before letting go of my hand and looking around nervously.
I looked around the room and then back at him. “Looks nice. You have your own room.” I said and got an awkward shrug as a response. I frowned and dug my hands in the hem of my sweater again. “Are.. Are you angry at me?” I whispered barely audible and looked down. I didn’t want to see Tristan angry with me.
I looked up when Tristan moved closer but didn’t move, just watched him. He seemed tired. Tristan hugged me again and pressed his face against my chest.
“They took Kevin away.” He mumbled into my shirt and I wished I could hug him back but my hands were caught between us.
“Kevin’s okay, Tristan. He’s not in jail.” I said quietly and Tristan tilted his head back so he could look at me.
“He.. He’s not?” He asked in a tiny voice and I took the opportunity to wiggle my arms free.
“No. Thomson told me. Don’t worry about him, okay?” I said and hugged him back.
“Who.. Who’s Thomson?”
“A friend of Kevin’s. He’s a cop.” I said and looked around the room. “So.. do you like it here?” I asked quietly and looked down at Tristan who let go of me.
“I guess. I.. I like it better than home.” He mumbled and I nodded. I liked fostercare better than home too.
“I heard you haven’t been talking to anyone.” I said and Tristan avoided my eyes.
“I.. I don’t want to go back home, Jason. They’ll take me back there if I tell them who I am.” He whispered so quietly that I barely heard him and I suddenly realized why he was acting so weird. He was afraid that now that I had told the social workers his name, he would be taken back to his uncle who had sent him to the Cave.
“They wont take you back Tristan. I’m sure they won’t. They didn’t take me back to dad either.” I said, leaving out the part that dad was also wanted for drugs and Tristan pulled me towards the bed. We sat down and Tristan pulled his knees up to his chest.
“K-Kevin told me you ran away from your dad.” He said quietly and I nodded. “W-What happened?” Tristan continued and looked at me with those big brown eyes of his. I sighed and leaned against the wall before mumbling.
“I.. I just.. had to get away from there.”
“He hurt you again, didn’t he?” Tristan asked and I nodded. He moved closer so he could hug me again and asked. “Do you like where you’re living now?”
I nodded carefully and buried my nose in his hair. God I had missed him.