Sacrifice Helle

Chapter 36

The sun. It filled the room with light, so calm. Dusk. My eyes closed again and it felt like years went by before I moved again. Why did I come here? Wasn’t it my fait to die back there? Why come her..? Something was dropped to the floor and made a thud.

“Your parents will come and take care of you. You’ve lost blood, lots, but you’ll live. Just rest.”

I opened my eyes to look and the one speaking, but at the moment I opened them I fell forwards and collapsed on the floor. Then the room was silent again.

“Oh, shit, I’m home.”

There is no way to tell you where I got my strength from, I forced myself to act quickly. I was home, my parents would have heard the noise, or they could come at any moment. And I was naked…. How do you explain suddenly showing up at your house, from INSIDE?! And naked! And not to forget, there was someone else with me.

I took a quick look at the floor, my eyes still messed up from the light. He looked so peacefully, bathing in sunlight, sleeping on the floor. I stumbled to the closet and dressed in the first things that reached my hand. A tank top and a skirt. “Panties, I need panties…”, I mumbled to myself and tossed half of my clothes on the floor in my desperate search. Then I turned to face the second problem. What was I supposed to do with Vaan?

I sat down next to him and touched his face. “Thank you for not killing me. I do wish I knew what’s happening to you…”

I wanted to lay down on the floor like him and just sleep… “Will this never end? Will I ever get peace in my life, and sleep and eat when I need to, and not faint on floors…?”, I asked myself before crawling up on my knees. A quick look around the room, then I grabbed Vaan’s hands and pulled him across the floor over to Asami’s old bed. My breath was heavy, I swallowed and took a deep breath then used all the strength that was left in me to drag and pull his unconscious body up on the bed. Finally. I laid Asami’s sheets over him and dragged the black silk away, stumbled over to my own bed, took the other piece of silk and kicked them both under the bed, then threw myself on it. It was the best feeling in the world. I was back in my own bed, and without the strength needed to think things more over I fell into desperately needed sleep.

I didn’t dream at all, when I woke up I surely had no memories of anything. I partially opened my eyes, light was glimmering. I grunted at it and let out a sigh, then tried to get up and have a better look at the world. I was looking straight at the window, flashbacks of one night with darkness and glowing blue eyes in the windowsill. Another weak grunt half-way combined with a moan from pain. My head was killing me, it hurt so bad, like someone knocked on it, no, more like slammed it with a hammer. I closed my eyes again. Then they widened when I smelt something so wonderful I had almost forgotten the name of it.

“Pancakes…!”

I tossed my feet on the floor and made a run for the door, but sadly never got as far as to even standing up. I fell right forwards, it went dark and the headache increased every second. I bit my teeth and waited for the stars to vanish from my eyes. My hands fumbled over the floor and I literally crawled over the floor, the by reaching the door I balanced my way up on my feet. “Good,”, I thought to myself, “The worst part is hopefully over.” Once more I looked over at the window. It was early in the day I could see. Then my eyes went to Asami’s bed. Noting unusual. Asami wasn’t there. I shook my head. Wait, there was something I had forgotten… Wasn’t there someone with me? I didn’t have the strength to react, but I saw it now, Vaan wasn’t there either. What did I care, right now the smell of pancakes drove me mad, dragging my animal instincts out. I would kill for those pancakes.

I made it to the steps downstairs, then someone noticed my arrival. “Helle, you’re up! Oh, that’s good, come eat!” My mom hurried to reach me and supported me downstairs and to the kitchen. “Oh my, you sure are weak, you haven’t been eating properly my dear girl.. And you sleep for so long!” She landed me on a chair and took a good look at me. Then she stroke my hear and smiled, “It’s good to see you again. You got us all so worried. I wish you didn’t do that.” “Do what?”, I whispered back, my voice hazy. A pancake landed on my plate and I threw myself at it, it was gone in two seconds and I was luckily granted another. “Run away. I know you mean good, Vaan told me all about it, but you should leave the search for Asami up to the police. What can you do that they can’t?”

I froze in the middle of my pancake frenzy. My mom continued, she wasn’t the silent type exactly, she’d go on and on about whatever was on her mind. “Still,”, she began, paused and continued turning to me, “I would have done the same if it wasn’t that I have other responsibilities too.” “What?”, I grunted. She was acting too much like a mom, I couldn’t determine whether she was scolding me for thinking I had no responsibilities, or if she was comforting me for being put through so much. She sighed. “You and your father. And the rest of our family. In hard times you have to stick together Helle. Not act on own instincts.” “Sorry.”, I mumbled. She sighed again. “Eat up, you look like you need it.” I threw more food in and flushed everything down with plenty of water. Then I turned to my mom, “Mom…” I didn’t know quite how to ask her. Then I threw myself into it, “Where’s Vaan?” I would have much rather preferred him to be asleep and me the first one to wake up. I was always the last one…

“Oh, they went out awhile ago. He and your father.” Mom smiled a secret smile at me. Oh, god, now she thought she knew something. It eased me. When mom got those looks it meant that she was cheerfully teasing me and all her accusations would be wrong. “He will be very happy to see you up. They both will. He was worrying about you so much. Even though all you need is food and rest. I can’t believe that you slept for so long you lazy girl.” I rolled my eyes. But it seemed to be okay, mom obviously knew nothing. I sat in thoughts for a while. It was day. And Vaan was out? Then I remembered before I fell asleep, he had been in the sunlight then too. Funny how I hadn’t thought about that until now. I smiled to myself over my ignorance.

“What day is it?”, I asked mom. “Sunday, sweetie.”

It had been a week since I left for the cathedral. It seemed like much longer. Funny how easy things felt. I felt calm inside. It was good to be home.