Moonlight Denial: Shades of Moonlight Book One

Ethan grumbled as he was pulled from his sleep. He opened his eyes and blinked away the grog that blinded him. After lying in bed for a minute he got the sense that something wasn’t right. He rolled over to look at the window and his brows furrowed when he could see sunlight trying to claw its way around the edges of the curtain.

“Son of a bitch,” he growled. He had woken up in the daylight hours again. His sleeping cycle had been thrown all off since he had forced himself to be awake during the day on several occasions and had taken to sleeping at night to make up for it. It was an aggravating conundrum.

He rolled back over and closed his eyes, determined to sleep till dusk, but something caught his attention. He could hear movement in the house. It was nearly inaudible, but his acute hearing was able to make out the gentle flap of clothing and feet padding lightly across the floor. If he concentrated he could also hear hushed voices somewhere in the bowels of the home. He wasn’t the only one who was awake.

Ethan sat up and stared at his door, wondering why the others weren’t slumbering as they should have been. He looked down when there was movement beside him and smiled when he saw Felix’s form lying next to him. Felix couldn’t sleep, of course, being a ghost, but he would usually be near by when Ethan slept and he always found comfort in that and appreciated it very much.

“Hey, Mr. Sunshine,” Felix greeted as he stretched and put his hands behind his head. “What are you doing up? You need rest.”

“I’m afraid my sleeping schedule is a bit topsy turvy,” Ethan answered as he crossed his legs and rolled his shoulders to pop them. “Then I couldn’t help but notice that someone is creeping around at such a peculiar hour.”

“Yeah, I think its Conrad,” Felix said. “I heard his door open then I’m pretty sure he went to a couple of other peoples rooms. Though I have no idea who or why.”

“Conrad, huh? Wonder what he’s up to,” Ethan muttered as he hefted himself up off the bed. As he made his way to the door his transparent friend was quick to follow.

After leaving the room and doing a quick search of the house Ethan found Conrad in the sitting room and he was surprised to see Gavin and Cora there as well.

“You two understand what I want you to do?” Conrad asked and the two nodded.

“Yes, sir,” Gavin said with a curt nod.

“Crystal clear, Conrad,” Cora said with a smile.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Ethan asked as he entered the room.

“Family meeting?” Felix chimed in, hovering over Ethan’s shoulder.

“Something of the sort,” Conrad replied as he regarded the two. “I’ve decided that we need to try and gather more information on either Deloris or the book, preferably both. That’s why I’m sending Gavin and Cora to file through the towns archives at the library, see if there is any hint at all that could lead us in the right direction.” He turned back to the two waiting vampires and gestured with his head. “You have your orders, go.”

“Do you still want us to pick up the boy on our way?” Gavin asked.

“Yes, please do.”

“The boy?” Ethan echoed, tilting his head as a blond brow rose. “You mean Nicoli? What do you want them to do with him?”

“I want him to help them. Even though he probably won’t do much I’d feel better if he was put to some kind of use and this way there won’t be an opportunity for Omen to snatch him up again. That’s the last headache I need,” Conrad explained. It had been three days since the incident and he was still vexed by the vampire hunter’s audacity and Nicoli’s vulnerability.

“Hey, let me get dressed and groomed and I’ll head out with them,” Ethan said, referring to his mussed up hair and the fact he was only wearing pants. Before he could bound away to do so his father’s voice stopped him.

“No, Ethan, you are to remain here.”

Ethan halted and looked back at Conrad in confusion.

“Um, can I ask why?”

“Gavin and Cora are more than capable to see to this job on their own. Having you join them will just draw attention,” Conrad answered.

“But I’ve already been through all the archives. I know what’s relevant and what’s not,” Ethan said.

“You may think you do, my son, but you could have passed over information you found to be trivial, but is actually vital. We need fresh eyes on this and you may just throw the search off its track.” With his chin he bid Gavin and Cora to leave.

The two did so with a nod and left the room only happily. The growing tension and frustration was evident to everyone and they did not want to be caught in the impending argument.

Ethan waited until he heard the front door open and close before turning to Conrad with narrowed eyes and crossed arms.

“Not to sound juvenile, but what the hell?” he said.

“Please don’t fight me on this,” Conrad said with a weary sigh as he made his way out of the room. “Just heed my decision.” He hoped the conversation would end there, but knew it was a vain wish when Ethan followed him.

“No, I’m not going to “heed your decision” until you tell me why you just blocked me from doing something useful,” Ethan snapped as he kept on his sires heels. “That was uncalled for.”

“I told you my reasons, Ethan,” Conrad said as he strode through the halls towards the staircase to go up to his study. “I wanted Gavin and Cora to do this on their own to see if they could find something you missed and I know if you went you’d constantly distract them by saying you went over everything carefully.”

Ethan bit down on his tongue. He wanted to say something to discredit that, but he knew it was true. He hated feeling that his work was inadequate in anyway and would have done everything in his power to persuade the others that he had found everything of importance.

“Besides,” Conrad continued as he ascended the stairs. “They are the most skilled when it comes to research. If there’s a secret within the archives they will find it.”

“Yeah.” The word came out as a drawn out sigh as Ethan begrudgingly accepted Conrad’s views.

“Although, if I hadn’t told them to take the human with them I might have considered the idea,” Conrad muttered under his breath, but it snapped Ethan right into focus.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just one second,” Ethan said as he took hold of Conrad’s elbow to pull him to a stop. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Conrad stilled then turned to face Ethan. From their position on the stairs Conrad seemed even more intimidating as he loomed over his fledgling like a force to be reckoned with.

“Look, Ethan, I may have let this boy into our home, even into our family, and may have been persuaded to think over my final decision on what to do with him,” Conrad said, his voice firm and as hard as steel. “But I am not going to stand by and watch you become beguiled by that little creature. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Ethan simply rolled his eyes at Conrad’s dramatics. After their last altercation Conrad had said nothing about what had transpired between them and Ethan had done the same, not wanting to fight with his father, but with these accusations he could not help but feel his agitation rise again.

“Pops, seriously, I’m not going to become beguiled by Nic –”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to make a point,” Conrad hissed.

“Sorry, point away,” Ethan said with a sigh.

“You say you aren’t but I can see it now. You enjoy that boy’s company. You fret and worry over him. It matters to you what he thinks and feels.”

“Well, really, that’s what happens when you become friends with someone.”

“That is where it all starts,” Conrad said, jabbing at Ethan’s chest with his finger. “You think this is all fun and games now, but soon this attachment you have with that human is going to manifest into an overzealous protectiveness and that can only end in disaster for you. A disaster you need not suffer again.” Conrad’s grey eyes slid to a spot over Ethan’s shoulder at Felix, who had been sitting back in respectful silence.

Felix caught the gaze and knew the meaning behind it. He visibly flinched and looked away, not able to meet those eyes. He had to bite down on his bottom lip to prevent a whine from escaping his throat.

Ethan caught the exchange and moved so he could shield Felix from Conrad’s sight. He glared venomously at his sire and without words he warned Conrad not to drag Felix into their argument.

“You are such a difficult child,” Conrad said, his voice softening. “Even so, it has always been your spirit I admire most about you, but do not press me on this issue because you will not win.”

“You’re the only one making it an “issue,” Father,” Ethan said, almost spitting out the word “father” like an obscenity.

“Only because I see where this will end. An end you are trying desperately to be blind to.” He paused as he studied his fledgling then sighed through his nose, making his nostrils flare. “Just hear me out. I am respectfully considering what we talked about before, but you have to do something for me.”

“What?” Ethan asked, thinking he owed his sire nothing at this point.

“I don’t want you being around that human constantly. Keep some distance between you two. The less you are around him the less chance your attachment for your new pet will grow. That’s all I ask. If you do that my mind will be more at ease.”

“How can I do that when Omen has made an attempt on him? What am I supposed to do, let that bastard just waltz in and slice Nicoli’s head off? I can’t distance myself when that lunatic is proving to be a threat,” Ethan argued.

“That’s why I sent Gavin and Cora to pick him up. They will take care of him, so you have no need to worry. If you grow overly concerned one of us will check up on him so that you don’t have to get directly involved yourself,” Conrad explained.

“I can’t make any promises to what you’re asking.”

“Well, I expect you will at least mull it over if you want me to consider your proposition.” With a meaningful look Conrad turned and went the rest of the way up the stairs. When he reached the landing he stopped, but kept his back to his fledgling. “You may think I’m being heartless now, but you’ll thank me in the end. I’m only looking out for your wellbeing. No human is worth seeing you suffer.” Then he disappeared and retreated into his study.

Ethan stood on the steps of the stairs as he seethed quietly. Heartless was an understatement to what he thought of his sire at the moment. It took everything he had not to follow Conrad and grab him by his collar and give him a thorough shaking. Instead Ethan climbed the rest of the stairs and returned to his room, making sure to slam the door behind him.

“Ethan, don’t get so angry,” Felix said as he slipped through the solid door. “He’s just looking out for you in his own, hard-assed way.”

“If this is looking out for me, I’d hate to see what he’d do if he was out to get me,” Ethan growled through clenched teeth as he paced the room. “First he undermines my research and now he’s trying to keep me from working with Nicoli. Yeah, we’re really going to find the Hearts if I can’t be within a hundred feet of the kid.”

Felix was quiet as he drifted over to the bed and sat down.

“Hey, what did Conrad mean about considering your proposition?” he asked after a few minutes, trying to get Ethan out of his angry ramblings and quench his own curiosity. “What proposition?”

Ethan slowed then stilled altogether. He didn’t look at Felix as he began worrying his lip. He hadn’t told his ghostly friend about what he had to promise in order to get Conrad’s agreement to let Nicoli help, and he hadn’t told Felix about trying to save Nicoli, either. Now was as good a time as any to fill Felix in.

“Well, you see, Felix, back when the others first arrived…” Ethan explained everything to Felix. The agreement Conrad forced him to make, his unsettling feelings towards it and how he had stood up to the head vampire jus three nights before in defense of Nicoli’s life.

When he was done Felix sat there in stunned silence, staring at Ethan with wide eyes and a mouth left agape.

“Are you serious? Conrad is really going to kill Nicoli?” he asked.

“Not if I can get him to change his mind,” Ethan reminded him.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this?” Felix demanded.

Ethan could see the hurt in his features and was ashamed of himself. He was normally very open with Felix, but lately that hadn’t been the case.

“I didn’t want to give you the opportunity to say “I told you so,” I guess. I haven’t been in the mood for it lately,” Ethan replied.

“Well, fuck, I’ll say it anyway. I told you so,” Felix said. “I told you Conrad wasn’t going to like this, not one bit. But I didn’t think he’d go this far. I may have said it’d end in a bloodbath, but I was just kidding.”

“I just don’t understand why Conrad is doing this. He doesn’t need to kill Nicoli over the stupid Hearts. Its unnecessary bloodshed,” Ethan said as he took up his pacing once more.

“Wow, you really are an idiot.”

“Excuse me,” Ethan asked as he stopped and looked to Felix with a raised brow.

“You’re an idiot. He’s not going to kill Nicoli because he’s afraid the brat will go after the Hearts himself. He’s going to kill him so you don’t get hurt again,” Felix told him. “It’s exactly the same reason why I said I didn’t want Nicoli in on this. I don’t agree to the killing part, but I’m taking Conrad’s side. You’re getting too close to Nicoli. Conrad and I are afraid that if something happens to him you’ll...” Felix trailed off, letting the last words die in his throat.

“Felix, this is completely different,” Ethan said softly as he sat beside him.

“It’s not different, Ethan,” Felix grumbled, looking away as a shadow of grief fell over his face. “You put the world on your shoulders when things get bad and you get hurt so deeply. It doesn’t matter the situation. If things keep going on like this you’re going to get too close to the fire and who knows if you’ll walk away from it this time without getting burned. I told you this before and you still went through with dragging Nicoli into this. You never listen to me!”

Ethan sat with his head bowed. Knowing what Felix said was true. He was being reckless to get to his goal and it was hurting someone dear to him.

“I haven’t been treating you well lately at all,” he whispered as he lifted his head to look at Felix. “You deserve so much more than I give you. You’re always looking out for me, always trying to take care of me and I shrug off your kindness like its nothing.” He lifted his hand and ran his fingers through transparent locks that shifted until they could be physically touched. “I don’t deserve you. You try so hard to stay by me in everything and I give you nothing but grief in return.”

Felix’s features immediately softened at his words and he shook his head.

“Ethan, that’s not true,” Felix said, trying to reassure him, but he was hushed when Ethan’s thumb pressed against his lips.

“It is true and I feel horribly for it, and yet…” Ethan’s hand dropped back into his lap and he clenched his hands into fists. “I want those Hearts so bad. For us. For everyone. All I want is to destroy them so they can’t pollute anyone else with greed and treachery and hurt anyone else with just the thought of them. It’s the only goal I see in front of me. The only goal that gives my life meaning, but that doesn’t mean I should treat you so disrespectfully. If it was possible to grant you any wish, any wish at all, to make up for my behavior I’d do it.”

Felix had been touched by Ethan’s words, but a quizzical brow rose at the last part.

“Anything?” he asked.

“Yes, anything at all,” Ethan said, sitting up straighter to give Felix his full attention.

Felix sat back on his hands as he swung his feet a bit. There were many things that he could ask from Ethan. There were lists and lists. He may have been able to solve all of the family’s problems by asking Ethan to release Nicoli from his agreement once and for all, but there was something that he wanted even more than that.

“So, if I asked you to never sleep with the Meatbag again you wouldn’t?” he asked with a casual sideways glance.

Ethan’s eyes widened in surprise and then he ran his fingers through his hair with a guilty look. Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“So, you know about that?” he asked.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out. You always act a certain way after sex. You have a swagger and a bounce to your step, and your voice is smoother and comes out in almost a drawl. You can’t keep that kind of stuff from me,” Felix said with a half smirk.

“No, I guess I can’t,” Ethan said, matching his smile, but it was quick to disappear. “Does it bother you that much?”

“I’d lie if I said it didn’t tick me off a little, but that’s just because you did it with him. He’s about as sexually appealing as a banana slug.” He looked at the other with an understanding smile and placed his hand over Ethan’s. “But it doesn’t matter what I think. I can’t control who you do and do not sleep with. It’s not my business. We both agreed to that.”

“But it does matter,” Ethan insisted. “If that’s what you truly want then I’ll never touch Nicoli again. I’ll keep a ten foot pole on me twenty-four seven.”

Felix laughed and shook his head. He then did something unexpected and leaned over in order to place a kiss on Ethan’s lips.

“All I want is for you to be happy, Ethan,” he said with an endearing smile. “And if sleeping with the whiny brat makes you happy, then, by all means, fuck his brains out.”

“You don’t mean that,” Ethan said in disbelief.

“I do. Ethan, don’t you understand? I owe everything to you. You’re the reason I had even an ounce of joy in my life and all I want in the entire world is for you to be happy.” He pecked at Ethan’s lips again, but before the vampire could lean into it he pulled back and wagged a finger. “But I want you to be careful. I want you to be happy, but you cannot let things get to you. If something happens to Nicoli, anything at all, it isn’t your fault and don’t think that way for a second. If you do I’ll hate you forever and ever. You got that?”

Ethan didn’t reply. Instead he stared into Felix’s eyes. Eyes that were as familiar to him as his own. Eyes that would always make him feel comforted and warm. Willed by a sudden impulse Ethan pulled Felix to him and wrapped him in a tight, loving embrace. He buried his face in wispy, translucent strands and wished beyond anything that he could take in the scent that belonged to Felix and Felix alone; a scent that had been lost for what seemed like centuries.

“I miss you, Felix,” Ethan murmured.

Felix was taken aback by the sudden declaration, but it meant more to him than anything Ethan could have said. He slipped his arms around Ethan’s neck and hugged him back as he fought tears.

“I miss you, too, Ethan. I miss you, too.”

=========================================Ch. 35 End