Unforgivables

For a while there was only silence in the room. I was wondering if Elise was even still listening to me after I had asked him that. He just stared at me like he hadn\'t heard me. Then agian it might have not been the best thing to ask someone who had been raped. In fact it was probably the last thing I should have said but it had come out before I could have even thought of the consiquences.

\"You...want to...sleep with me?\" Elise asked and it sounded like he was even shocked.

I considered backing out then. Saying that it had just come out and that I hadn\'t meant it. If I had a soul that really would have been the right thing to do...to bad I have no soul. \"That\'s what I meant by it.\"

Elise just blinked at me a few times. \"Why would you want to sleep with me?\" that one I did not get. He looked away from me with a very sad expression on his face. \"No one should want to sleep with me anymore. I\'m just used.\"

It was my turn to be confused. \"Elise why would you think that about yourself?\" I asked him. \"What that man did to you does not make you used. It means you were hurt. That\'s all it means. Why would you ever think that I wouldn\'t want you?\"

\"Because I\'m not good enough for you now Tran.\" Elise muttered. \"I have tried all my life to be good enough for you and now...now I will never be. I wanted to give you everything Tran and now I can\'t.\"

\"I want you Elise.\" I told him and lifted his head so I could look into those firey eyes. \"You have been mistaken in trying to be enough for me Elise because I will never be good enough for someone like you. Everything about you is perfect Elise and that will never change no matter what.\"

We kissed softly and Elise smiled at me. \"You are wonderful Tran.\"

I lifted him in my arm and carried him over to the nearest bed. I laid him down and crawled up next to him. For a moment I just stared down at him. I wasn\'t someone to normal show feelings, to express things in words and get all emotional, but with Elise I just wanted to let emotional vomit out.

I brought my lips down on his and his arms wrapped around me. Elise always tasted so sweet. I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head before moving my mouth to his neck. Elsie moaned beneath me and let out a small cry as I began to toy with one of his nipples. I moved down his chest and took the other neglected nipple in my mouth.

\"Tran!\" Elise gasped out and arched into me as I began to suck on his sensitive flesh. His hands tangled in my hair and gripped tightly. Not that I minded.

Moving my hand from his nipple, which earned me an annoyed groan, I slid my hand lower and began to undo his pants. \"This okay?\" I whispered and looked up at Elise.


Elise opened his eyes and met my gaze. I was actually really taken back. Elise\'s eyes were glowing in the dim room. Literally glowing with red in the moon light. \"Yes...\" he whispered and it took me a moment to remember what I had even asked.

I sat up and continued to take off his pants. Elise\'s eyes closed again as I slid his pants off him and then slid my hands up his legs to the rim of his boxers. I hook my fingers in the hem and slid them off next.

Throwing the offending garments to the side I stared at Elise a moment. His chest was rising and falling faster then normal and his milky-white skin was flushed against the dark blue bed beneath him. I slid my hands back up his legs and slowly pulled them apart.

\"Tran...\" Elise\'s small voice came. I slid myself between his legs and rose to kiss him again.

\"You\'re beautiful Elise.\" I said, knowing he needed to hear that seeing as how this was his /actual/ first time being with someone. \"Don\'t even think anything else.\"

I kissed down his chest this time but didn\'t make any detours. I blew warm air over his stiff fleash and Elise let out a small cry and arched his back. His hands tangled in my hair again and I let my tongue dart out to taste him. His knees bent up on either side of me as he moaned again.

\"Tran!\" he cried out as I finally stopped torturing him and took his dripping erection into my mouth.

I took him all the way in before bringing my head back up and licking across the tip again. I went down again and hummed softly in the back of my throat. If he ever asked me how I had learned to do this I don\'t think I would have ever been able to tell him. The past didn\'t matter anymore though. All that matter was the small, writhering body beneath me.

\"Tran...Tran I...\" Elise panted out as tears of frusteration left his eyes. I smirked, knowing I was drawing this out far to long for him. \"Tran please...I can\'t...please...\"

I slid my hand down and began to massage against his small opening with two of my fingers. His body began to tense and I got ready for what was coming. My name joined the scream that left his lips as he came into my mouth. I greedily drank him, not missing a drop, again one of my many talents that I wasn\'t all that proud of.

\"Tran...\" Elise panted out as I sat up and pulled my shirt off. \"I love you...so much.\"

I threw my shirt into oblivion and gave him a rare, genuine smile. I quickly escaped the confined of my pants, which had become all but loose in this process, and soon was just as bare as he. I kissed Elise again, distracting him as I grabbed something from my pants (yes I am that prepared and anal) and then disguarded them as well.

Quickly I lubed my fingers and found his opening again. Slowly I slid one finger inside him and Elise jerked slightly. \"Tran...?\"

\"You don\'t want this to hurt do you?\" I asked him and he shook his head. \"Then trust me Elise.\"

Elise did as he was told and closed his eyes as he relaxed against the bed. I slowly drew my finger from his body before thrusting it back in. Elise arched slightly and moaned. That\'s what I wanted. Though the pain was clearly innevidable I could at least lessen it some.

A second finger joined the first and Elise made a small noise of discomfort but that was all. I began to stretched the boy carefully and locked my mouth onto his neck again as I slid in a third finger. Elise\'s body tensed from the slight sting I knew this brought but he did not complain to tell me to stop.

Elise began to raise his hips into my fingers and I took them out of him. \"Tran-n-n-n.\" Elise whimpered.

\"Don\'t worry Elise.\" I kissed him again and possitioned myself at his enterance. \"Elise if you want me to stop you better tell me now.\"

\"No.\" Elise shook his head. \"Please Tran...please take me...\"

I braced myself on my forearms above him and slowly began to push into his body. \"Fuck.\" I hissed out. Damn he was tight. Very tight. It was so...so good. Elise whimpered beneath me and I stopped, trying to calm myself. \"Elise...god Elise.\"

He was panting beneath me, trying to catch his breath and having no luck at it. \"Tran...this feels so good...Tran.\"

With that encouragement I began to push in again until I was burried to the hilt. My body was shaking with pleasure as I captured his lips again in a heated kiss. I slowly withdrew myself from his body before thrusting back in a little faster.

\"Tran!...Oh Tran please...do that again...!\" Elise begged me.

\"As you wish.\" I muttered before continuing my assault on his body. It had been, a very long time since I had been laid. And when I say a long time I don\'t mean what a normal man thinks of as a long time. I\'m thinking maybe a year. Ever since this damn kid told me he loved me I felt guilty about even thinking of someone else.

\"Tran...\" Elise\'s hands gripped at my back. \"God Tran...\"

I kissed him again. I was really not one for talkig during this and god I could barely think with how good if felt to be with him. The last coherent thought I had actually had was why I had kept myself from Elise for so long.

\"Tran!\" Elise screamed, his body arching more then what I believe was human possible, and came for the second time that night.

Hearing him scream my name, feeling his inner muscles clamp around me, that was my undoing. With a low moan I came, filling his insides and claiming him as mine. I kept myself over him a moment. Trying to catch my own breath and gain some strength so I could roll to the side and not just crush him.

A hand gently brushed sweaty hair out of my face and I opened my eyes to look down at Elise. Elise pushed himself up a little and kissed me. \"I love you Tran.\"

I rolled to his side and lay there staring at the ceiling a moment. \"Yeah, I know.\"

Elise turned over and hugged me close. It wasn\'t long before I felt his breath even out and he was asleep. My mind had to much going on inside of it to even let me think of sleeping. I looked down at the boy in my arms. Eventually what I had done would come into the open. Someone would eventually find out it had been me that had killed Nicholas. How long would I be able to protect Elise from that?

How long would I be able to protect him from myself?


A/N : Was that good? I can\'t tell. I just write it. I personally think that all of my writing sucks...which is why I have this up here. So you can all tell me if it is good or bad! That and no, this is not checked before it goes up. So once again I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors there might be. The moment I write it is the moment it goes up so...hehe...REVIEW!

- I just saw some of the anime Bleach. And I love it.