Moonlight Denial: Shades of Moonlight Book One

Nicoli trudged into his room, feeling tired and drained. He had never felt so fatigued in his life. He didn’t think it was possible to be this fatigued. No matter how bad he felt he spent as much time with his parents as he could. He never appreciated them as much as he did that night. Every word spoken, every movement made, he loved all of it.

He was there with them right up until he helped his mother get Lance comfortable in bed for the night. He was teased relentlessly by his father, being called a “Little Laura clone,” but Nicoli did not care in the least. Now his parents were preparing for bed and they forced their son to do the same. Even though he was exhausted, sleep was the last thing on his mind. In fact he was dreading being alone in his room because that meant he would be alone with his thoughts and he knew where they were going to lead.

“Come on, Boy,” he said, holding the door open until Beethoven trotted inside. Once his furry companion was in the room he closed the door and leaned his back against it. He closed his eyes, but he was to the point of tired that it burned to do so. “God, I wish I could just curl up and die right now,” he muttered as he slid down the door. When he was in a crouch he wrapped his arms around his legs and nuzzled his face into his knees.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fu-uck!” The muffled vulgarities lacked force or emotion. They were said just to be said. “Beethoven, am I just the most fucked up person or what? I am the fucking king of the fucked up fuck nation.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” a voice said followed by a hand being placed on his head.

Nicoli nearly jumped out of his skin and toppled to the floor. A shot of fear rushed into his veins, but slowly ebbed as he looked up at the intruder.

“Ethan?” he said in confusion. Ethan was crouched on his hunches beside him and smiled sheepishly at him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologized as he pat Beethoven’s head. The dog was eagerly licking his face and wagging his tail happily. He had taken a real shine to Ethan.

Normally, Nicoli would have been quick to anger, but at the moment he did not have the energy to muster up any feelings of annoyance or irritation.

“You’re still here?” he said instead. “How come?” he asked as he sat up.

“Well, I didn’t feel right about leaving you like this,” Ethan answered. “A lot happened to you today and I know that you must feel awful, both physically and emotionally. If something like that had happened to me I definitely wouldn’t want to be alone with no one to talk to, or at least just be with.”

Nicoli stared at him for several long moments. Then he slowly crawled across the floor, closing the distance between them, and he slipped his arms around Ethan’s neck and hugged him as his body trembled.

“Thank you,” was all he said and the two simple words were filled with genuine gratitude.

Ethan smiled and wrapped his arms around Nicoli’s waist to pull him in and hold him close.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he muttered into Nicoli’s shoulder. “It’s the least I can do.”

***********************************************************************

The night stretched on and darkness settled itself on the land. Moonlight filtered into Nicoli’s room through the window and served as the only source of light. The atmosphere was tranquil and serene.

Nicoli and Ethan were lying on the boy’s bed, Ethan on his back with Nicoli on his side. The human had his head resting on the others shoulder and his arm lightly draped across Ethan’s chest. The vampire was shirtless, having discarded the garment since it was still stained with blood and he had not wanted to sully any of the boy’s belongings. Nicoli was dressed in his old, ratty white shirt and a pair of black boxers, not bothering with the sweats that night.

Beethoven lay at the end of the bed, curled up at their feet. He was a golden ball of fur and his black eyes shined in the darkness.

Neither Nicoli nor Ethan had spoken in quite a while. No words were needed. Just having the company of the vampire was soothing the boy’s nerves and he relished it greatly. It was a rare moment indeed for the two to be around each other in such serenity. Not one tiff had been started or harsh word spoken. It was nice, and Nicoli fought off sleep so the moment would not pass.

Nicoli sucked in a small breath and a light tremor rippled through his body as Ethan’s hand was placed on his side and slowly moved up and down in a relaxing motion, making all of the human’s muscles unwind and loosen.

“Are you feeling better?” Ethan murmured softly.

“Hush, you’re ruining the moment,” Nicoli whispered back.

“Oh, well excuse me.”

Nicoli smiled as he nuzzled his face into Ethan’s shoulder and he lost himself in the soft, earthy scent that clung to the vampire’s skin. He then moved his head so it was resting more on Ethan’s chest. The vampire made a good pillow, but something bothered Nicoli. He could not hear a heartbeat.

He did not know what he expected, he knew what Ethan was, but it still gave him an eerie feeling when he could not hear the organ beating any sort of rhythm. At times it was easy to forget that Ethan was a vampire. That he was just a normal man, but with his ear pressed against Ethan’s chest, and no sound to be heard, it reminded Nicoli that Ethan was neither alive nor dead. He was a creature suspended between the two, never to fully experience either. It was a puzzling realization and Nicoli tried to shoo it from his thoughts.

“Can I just forget today ever existed?” he asked, trying to distract himself. “Just obliterate it from my mind and be in complete denial?”

Ethan laughed, the action causing Nicoli to be jostled and hear the sound with crystal clear clarity. He smiled in spite of himself. Finally, some sort of noise from the otherwise silent chest.

“You could try,” Ethan answered. “But I’m not sure how well that is going to work out.”

“I just hate it. What the hell was Omen thinking, doing that to my dad? I know he wanted to get to me, but my dad has nothing to do with this. It scares me to think of what could have happened. What could have gone wrong. One little mishap, one little miss calculation and…” Nicoli could not bring himself to utter the words that were on his tongue and clung to his thoughts like wicked imps.

Ethan’s arm tightened around Nicoli and his other arm came around him in a full hug. His hand moved to Nicoli’s hair and fingers grazed the human’s cheek.

“Hey, don’t think on it. It didn’t happen. Your dad is fine. Maybe a little worse for wear, but fine. You still have him. He’s not going anywhere,” Ethan whispered reassuringly.

“And what if Omen tries again?” Nicoli asked. He reluctantly pulled away from Ethan’s arms and sat up. He stared at a corner of the room as an uneasy silence fell between them.

“I’ve been thinking, Ethan,” Nicoli said after awhile.

“I know, Nicoli. I know your thoughts. You don’t have to say what’s on your mind, I understand,” Ethan said, knowing what Nicoli wanted to say, what had been eating away at his mind and conscience.

“But I want to say it,” Nicoli said. “I know I gave you my word, but maybe…maybe I shouldn’t help you anymore.”

A stillness settled over them as Nicoli’s words hung in the air. His gut clenched and he was expecting, at any moment, that Ethan was going to get up and leave forever, but he didn’t. He didn’t move and it caused Nicoli’s doubt and uncertainty to increase and he felt as though he had to justify his statement.

“It’s not that I don’t want to help, really, I do, but I have to think of my family,” he said, the words coming out in a rush. “I have to think of what’s best for them and if they’re going to be targeted, what else can I do? I have to protect them, I just have to. I can’t let them get hurt because of my stupidity. It’s not fair to them. What else can I do?” He knew at that point that he was just rambling desperately, as if he believed that if he kept talking everything would make sense. Everything would be okay.

He did not notice that he was trembling until Ethan sat up and placed his hands on his shoulders. Nicoli jumped at the contact, but instantly leaned into Ethan, seeking comfort.

“Hey, hey, that’s enough, you don’t have to say anymore,” Ethan said as he placed his chin on top of Nicoli’s head. “I understand, I really do. If I was in your position I’d feel the exact same way. It’s up to you what you want to do. It’s always been your decision, but just know one thing. I really need you to help me with this. I truly believe that I won’t be able to do this without you now and I hate to say that to you. I know it will only cause you more grief, but you deserve to know how I feel on it too.”

Nicoli sighed as he leaned his head against Ethan’s shoulder. He felt horrible and his exhaustion wasn’t helping anything. Now was not the time to be having such thoughts. His nerves just would not have it.

“Let’s talk about this later,” Nicoli murmured. “I can’t dedicate myself to one stream of thought right now, especially on an important subject like this.”

“Agreed. You don’t need more stress tonight,” Ethan said with a nod.

The two laid back down and snuggled. They could do nothing but draw comfort from each other. That’s all they wanted at the moment, but after a while a thought started to gnaw at Nicoli’s mind and since it was a completely different train of thought he decided to go with it.

“So, I have a question,” Nicoli said.

“I thought we were trying to relax?” Ethan replied.

“Yeah, well I can’t relax with this kind of question on my mind.”

“All right, what is it?”

“What is the deal between Andre and Omen?” Nicoli asked. “That was some pretty heavy stuff that happened. Is Andre really the reason that Omen is the way he is?”

Ethan did not reply for a few seconds. He then sighed through his nose as he weaved his fingers into Nicoli’s dark hair.

“You can say that, I guess. They have a history together. A painful one at that that ended in tragedy. Andre never wanted things to play out as they did, but once events occurred they spiraled out of control. But I want you to know that Omen wasn’t the only one hurt in the end. Andre has been suffering silently in his own way since that time and will till the end of his days if it isn’t resolved.”

“What happened?” Nicoli asked, his breath caught in his throat and a prickling sensation spreading across the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, but it isn’t my story to tell. I could never tell it the way it needs to be told. I could never express how Andre felt or what he experienced through that time, so I would do it no justice. You’ll have to ask him yourself,” Ethan answered.

“Oh, yeah, that won’t be awkward,” Nicoli murmured. “Just walk right up to him and say, ‘Hey, Andre, what’s up between you and Omen? How’d you screw his life over so bad?’ Yeeeeah, I don’t know him well enough to do that.”

Ethan chuckled as he put his free hand behind his head.

“Well, I’m sure you could put it more delicately than that.”

“Nah, you know I’m too much of a brat to ask it any other way,” Nicoli joked as he began petting Beethoven with his foot. The dog rolled over their bare feet in order to get his belly rubbed.

“I’d smack you before you talked like that to Andre. And if you did I’d just torment you through the link by singing the songs you hate the most.”

Nicoli blinked and lifted his head to look at Ethan.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Wanna try me?”

“No, I’m good. I don’t need you singing ‘It’s a Small World’ in my head. I think I’d shoot myself if you did,” Nicoli said as he laid his head back down on Ethan’s chest. His brows furrowed as the mention of the link raised another question in his mind. Something he had not had time to ponder before. “Hey, Ethan, how come you didn’t know that I was in trouble?”

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked.

“Well, when you told me your family was coming you knew I was freaking out about it. You said you could feel and hear my distressed thoughts, so how come you didn’t feel me panicking about being kidnapped? I would think my distress would have been in overload and more than noticeable.”

“Yes, does seem a little odd, doesn’t it?” Ethan said. “I’m sorry that I didn’t know before you had to tell me, but the reason is that Omen happened to pick the time to execute his plan when I was sleeping.”

“…and that makes a difference?” Nicoli asked.

“A major difference. When vampires sleep we are dead to the world. It’s almost as if we return to a state of death when we sleep,” Ethan explained.

“How come?”

“Well, our bodies are similar to humans, but also very different. If we are out in the sun to long, or do any other kind of extreme excursion we burn the energy we get from human blood that much faster. Our blood constantly heals our bodies of even the slightest injury and, because of that, we use up far more energy than humans.”

“Sooooo, what does that have to do with sleeping?” Nicoli asked as he began to draw invisible patterns on Ethan’s chest with his finger.

“While sleeping we don’t do anything and it gives our bodies a chance to recuperate and finally take a break from continuously healing. So, the deep sleep is necessary for us to reclaim some of the energy we lost, which makes it so we don’t have to feed quite so often.”

“I guess that makes sense. So, I guess I’m lucky you heard me at all.”

“Quite,” Ethan agreed.

“I guess I’m also lucky you had Andre with you. One of us would be dead right now if he wasn’t,” Nicoli said with a sigh. Just the thought was enough to turn his mood sour again. He made a noise in his throat when Ethan’s finger hooked under his chin and tilted his head up to look at him.

“Don’t say things like that. We would have been fine, one way or the other,” Ethan said as his finger left Nicoli’s chin and began stroking his face. “But it did make things easier, I admit.”

“How come he got there later than you?” Nicoli asked as he closed his eyes to enjoy Ethan’s petting. “Did you ask for his help after you had already left the house or something?”

“No, he was with me as soon as I rushed out, but we had split up to cover more ground. Luckily for us, when I told him where you were, he was able to make it in time.”

“Speaking of which, how did you know where I was?” Nicoli asked. “I wasn’t where I said I was, so how did you know?”

“Easy. As I was making my way to Banshee Cliffs I happened to come across your scent. It was leading in a different direction so I knew you had been mistaken and followed it,” Ethan said.

Nicoli chuckled.

“Thank God for your sniffer,” he said, tapping Ethan’s nose. “But I’m confused on something. If you were sleeping wasn’t everyone else?”

“Yes, we were all taking our day snooze,” Ethan answered.

“Then how the hell was Andre able to wake up and leave with you? You said you rushed out so you couldn’t have taken the time to wake him and tell him what was going on.”

“Well, it wasn’t that hard since we were sleeping in the same bed and Andre has an odd talent of knowing when his lovers are leaving him,” Ethan said with a grin.

Nicoli’s eyebrows shot up and he lifted his head to look at Ethan.

“’Scuse me?”

“What?”

“You guys had sex last night?” Nicoli asked incredulously.

“Quite a few times actually,” Ethan said, his grin widening. “I had to do something since you left me unsatisfied. Again.”

Nicoli stared at him before plopping his head back down on Ethan’s chest.

“Lucky bastard,” he grumbled. “At least you got some relief. I had to trudge home while trying to fight off a freaking hard on.”

“Weeeeeellll,” Ethan drawled. “We could have finished up, but, no, you insisted on leaving right that second.”

“Shut up,” Nicoli murmured, feeling like he had missed out and was terribly cheated. There was one solace, though. The very image of Ethan and Andre together in the throws of passion was very pleasing and good mental fodder to use for another day.

Ethan only chuckled and the two fell into a pleasant silence once more. Nicoli wished the night could last forever. He could not remember the last time he had been comforted like this. When he was torn away from the only home he had ever known and dropped into Whixton that seemed to be filled with nothing but strangeness and hostility he felt nothing would ever be the same.

He was right, of course. Nothing was the same. His whole world had been turned on top of its head, but, even with everything going on, he felt stability was finally coming back. He had met Amelia, who had accepted him immediately and was his solid ground in normalcy that he desperately needed and on the supernatural end of the spectrum, he had Ethan to rely on and who always seemed to be there for him through thick and thin. It was all Nicoli could ask for during these troubling, turbulent times.

As Nicoli lied there with Ethan a touch of the Sandman’s sleeping dust began to sprinkle over his eyes. He wanted to sleep. He needed to sleep. He knew that, but there was a part of him that really did not want to give into the oncoming drowsiness. He knew that after that night the harmony between him and Ethan would be lost. They would go back to their bickering, teasing, fighting ways. It was inevitable

Soon Nicoli’s eyelids became too heavy and he closed his eyes. The burning sensation came again, showing just how tired he was. Sleep came to claim him, but it was deterred and he furrowed his eyebrows. Something was wrong. He was getting cold and he did not know why. The room was a comfortable temperature and Beethoven was keeping his feet nice and toasty. So why was he cold? Then he realized what it was. It was not him, it was Ethan.

There was no heat coming from him whatsoever. It should not have been surprising since Ethan was a vampire, but Nicoli was used to at least a degree of warmth lingering on his skin, but there was none now and it seemed with each passing minute that Ethan was subtly getting colder and colder.

“Ethan?” Nicoli murmured, breaking through his grogginess and trying to wake himself up.

“Hey, go to sleep. Don’t make me put you to sleep again,” Ethan said.

“I would, but you’re bothering me.”

“How am I bothering you? I’m just laying here.”

“You’re really cold,” Nicoli answered as he lifted his head to rest his chin on Ethan’s chest. “Why are you so cold?” he asked as he let his fingers drift over the expanse of skin underneath him.

“Well, it could be because I’m technically dead,” Ethan said with a smile and a little chuckle.

“No, this is different,” Nicoli insisted. “I’ve never felt you this cold before…and, come to think of it, you look kind of sickly.” He spoke the truth. He had not noticed it before, but Ethan’s health seemed to be in a decline. His pallor was now a chalky white, without a hint of its peach hue and his eyes seemed duller and his hair limp and brittle. This was all wrong. How had Nicoli not been aware of this?

The two stared at each other before Ethan hefted a sigh and let his head lull on the pillow.

“I’m hungry,” he said, “And I haven’t fed in awhile. Then losing some of my blood in the fight and being out in the sun without any protection didn’t help things. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“What?” Nicoli said, now propping himself up on his elbow to look at him better. “When’s the last time you fed?”

“Hmmm…a couple of weeks ago, I think,” Ethan said, looking off in thought. “Though, Andre let me have some of his blood a few hours ago.”

“If that’s true then why are you like this? Shouldn’t Andre’s blood have helped you?” Nicoli asked. It did not quite make sense to him.

“It did, but only for a very short time. Vampire blood is not fit to fill the belly.”

“How come?” Nicoli asked, now sitting up fully and resting on his knees.

“There’s a reason we have to drink human blood, Nicoli. Think of human blood cells as full, ripe fruits. Delicious and juicy and able to fill you right up. Our bodies suck up the energy humans blood gives and is why we are able to live on. When a vampire drinks another vampire’s blood it has no nutritional value. To go on with the fruit example, it’s like trying to eat an over-ripe, mushy, slightly shriveled piece of fruit. No one likes that. The only reason I even agreed to feed from Andre is because he’s pushy and it bought me some time,” Ethan explained.

“Well…you should go and snack on some unsuspecting prey,” Nicoli told him. “Don’t just lay here like a dumb ass.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Ethan said. “I’d rather wait here until you go to sleep.” Ethan flashed a grin at him. “So, if you’re so worried about my well being you should hurry up and sleep.”

Nicoli frowned. This was not going to help him sleep at all with the knowledge that Ethan was lying beside him in suffering. Felix had said that starvation was horrible for vampires, as it is with any creature, and Nicoli felt bad that Ethan was doing this just to stay with him. Being in his presence was probably driving Ethan crazy, since Nicoli was human and had fresh, warm blood running through his veins…Nicoli’s eyebrows perked with a thought. There was an easy solution and, if everything went just right, they’d both reap the benefits. Plus, he could put the idea he had earlier that day into effect.

“Hey, I have an idea,” Nicoli said, allowing a playful purr to weave into his words. He had to stop himself from smirking when Ethan’s brow quirked.

“Oh? What’s that?” he asked.

With the grace and finesse of a cat Nicoli crawled on top of Ethan and straddled his waist. He made sure to wiggle his hips a bit, feigning as though he was just making himself comfortable.

“Why don’t you feed from me?” Nicoli suggested with a little smile that was in danger of becoming a grin. He had to stop himself from outright laughing at the shocked look Ethan gave him. Getting the upper hand was so nice.

“Feed from you?” Ethan echoed, at a loss for words.

“Yeah, it’s the least I can do,” Nicoli said as he lightly trailed his fingers down Ethan’s chest and grazed his fingertips across the firm abs along the stomach. “You saved me again and the only reason you’re so hungry right now is because you got shot and went out into the sunlight for me.” He leaned down just enough for his lips to hover over Ethan’s. “What’s a little blood between friends?” he whispered before slowly leaning back up. His hands had settled on Ethan’s belt buckle and Nicoli gazed at him expectantly.

Nicoli knew his little seduction ploy had worked. A little color had come back to Ethan’s face and a deep hunger had come to his eyes. His body was taunt and tense, but Nicoli was aware of a bump growing underneath his rump. At least Ethan had enough blood left to get one part of his anatomy up.

Ethan cleared his throat, clearly trying to gain back his composer.

“But, Nicoli, if I feed from you, you know what will happen,” Ethan said, his voice hoarse and laced with a deep, husky growl. “Your F.L.S will kick in and, at this current point in time, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from taking full advantage of that.”

A lazy smirk crossed Nicoli’s face as he leisurely began undoing Ethan’s belt. Taking the pin from its hole and pulling the strap out of the buckle.

“Good. I was hoping you would say that,” he said. “I think a little sexing would do us both some good.” He could not contain his snort of laughter at the wide eyed, deer caught in the headlights, look he received. It was so comical Nicoli was almost knocked out of his seduction mode.

“Wait, what?” Ethan asked. “I’m sorry, the hunger must be making me delirious. Did you just say you wanted us to have sex? Am I hearing you right?”

“Yeah, your hearing seems to be just fine,” Nicoli told him. “And your not delirious…at least not until I rock your world,” he said as he lifted himself up enough to tug the belt from the pant loops. Ethan complied with the action by lifting up his hips to make it easier. When the belt was free and discarded Nicoli retook his seat and began teasing the button on Ethan’s pants.

“Whoa, okay, time out,” Ethan said. “Did getting thrown off that little cliff jumble your brain? Where did this come from? You never want this. I’m always the one that “suggests” it first.”

“Well,” Nicoli drawled, rolling the word around on his tongue like a succulent treat. “I do want to repay you for what you did, but I’ll admit I’m being just a wee bit selfish.” He lifted his fingers enough to demonstrate his amount of selfishness. “I’m overly stressed, freaked out most of the time, and have all of this pent up sexual frustration and, really, after the shitty day I’ve had, getting hot and heavy is just what the doctor ordered” he he said.

“I know you have your family now to take care of any of your sexual needs, but I’ve got zip,” Nicoli said. “So, basically, this is how it’s going to work.” He slid back just enough to rest on Ethan’s thighs. “I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine,” he purred as his hand ran down and cupped Ethan’s obvious arousal.

A low, lust filled groan escaped Ethan, but he responded quickly by grabbing Nicoli’s wrist and pulling the hand away from his most wanting of places.

“You devious little minx,” he said. “I try and try to get you between the sheets and you denied me at every turn. We may have romped a little, I’ll admit, but you were very resistant at all times. And now you decide this is a good idea? That didn’t go through your head all those other times?” he asked.

“What can I say?” Nicoli asked as he lifted his hand that was still caught in a tight grasp. He stared into beautiful teal eyes as he ran his tongue over the silky white bumps of Ethan’s knuckles. “I’m a stubborn asshole. I had to come to this decision on my own. You’ll find that if you try and force me to do something, the more I’ll fight to defy you, even if I want it too.”

“So I’ve seen firsthand.”

“So, after what happened yesterday, I knew there was only so much longer I could fight this damn untapped lust. It’s been quite a while since I’ve last had some, as you pointed out before, so, I decided ‘What the hell?’ might as well stop being hard headed and just enjoy the ride. Who knows when the next available person will come along?”

“Well, I’m sure Andre is more than willing to help you,” Ethan offered with a smirk.

“Eh, he’s hot, but now that I’ve seen this whole new dynamic to him I’d rather get to know him a little better before I even consider something like that. So…are we going to get this show started?” he asked.

Ethan stared at him and licked his lips as he leaned up enough to hold himself up on his hands, forcing Nicoli to sink deeper into his lap as his legs bent more.

“Let me just ask you one thing. Are you absolutely certain about this?”

His answer came in a crushing kiss and arms that tightly wound around his neck. The kiss was short, but got the point across.

“Fuck yes I am,” Nicoli replied against Ethan’s mouth. Before the last word even slipped from his mouth his night shirt was yanked over his head and wrenched from his person. The clothing was replaced by scorching lips that grazed across his shoulder, neck, and face and captured his mouth in a fiery kiss. Ethan chortled deep in his throat as his tongue danced across Nicoli’s lips.

“I was trying to be considerate,” he said.

Nicoli smirked before taking Ethan’s lower lip between his teeth and gave a light tug then released it.

“Fuck consideration.”

====================================Ch. 32 End