Undesirable

Chapter 31

Chuck took Jeffrey to the ground so fast I couldn't even register the movement. The sound was like the crack of a stick against concrete, it echoed back from the trees. Then just as quickly as they moved, they stopped, with Jeffrey flat on his back his arms out to either side of his head and Chuck kneeling on his belly, pinning his wrists to the ground. They held this pose for several seconds – completely immobile. I could barely even see the rise and fall of their chests as they stared into each other's eyes with deadly concentration.

Then Jeffrey broke the tableau, twisting out from under Chuck with such violence that Chuck flew sideways somersaulting to his feet just as Jeffrey swung around and reengaged him. And once again they froze, half-crouched their hands locked together. They were both breathing noticeably harder.

"See," Jeffrey said, his voice wavering just slightly. "I'm not as weak as you think."

"I never thought you were weak," replied Chuck.

They moved again, both crouched over, their arms swatting and deflecting each other so fast I had no hope to figure out if any of the blows landed. There was the sound of slaps and cracks and just by the speed alone they should have been breaking bones. Ever so slightly, Jeffrey seemed to move Chuck backwards.

Then again they stopped. Without warning, they just held as still as if they were statues. Chuck was in a more defensive posture, his forearms held up in front of his chest. Jeffrey was more open, arms out to the sides, hands spread, fingers crooked to show his bloody nails.

Despite his aggressive stance, Jeffrey had come out the worst in the last exchange. Though his expression was still determined and defiant, his body trembled and his clothes were in disarray. His leather jacket had been torn to shreds on one side, the scraps dangling down to his knee and exposing one side of his chest. The shirt beneath had been rent and I could see glimpses of bright red through the holes. In contrast Chuck seemed strangely calm, even as blood dripped off his elbow and onto his slacks, he was rock solid and showed no sign of pain or worry.

Suddenly Jeffrey dropped the pose and backed away at a more normal, human speed. "I can feel you bashing at my mind, but you are never going to get in!" He pointed his finger in accusation.

"Your shields are much stronger than I expected," Chuck admitted. There was neither fear nor admiration in his voice. "Your Sire built you well."

"Five full years in the making," Jeffrey bragged. "Five. My Sire was a certifiable lunatic, but he had discipline when it came to creating childer."

"If you want me intimidated, you've succeeded." Chuck straightened up and dropped the defensive stance. "I considered a fight with you to be a slam dunk, but you might actually best me."

"Then give up," suggested Jeffrey. "I'll let you go now."

"I'm afraid I can't."

"Then die!"

They were at it again, Jeffrey taking the lead in aggressiveness. Through blows and pushes he backed Chuck nearly to the bench. Then, somehow Chuck turned the tables and managed to trip them both to the ground. They rolled together swiftly down the gentle hill towards me.

I backed out of the way of them not stopping until I was solidly pressed against the metal rail of the overlook. I looked behind myself and saw a sheer drop off of about seventy feet to the rather sharp tops of the pine trees below. I did not want to be here. This was a stupid place to be standing.

One of them, I will never know which, grasped a large rock about the size of my head and pulled it from it's mostly buried seat in the ground. When I turned back, the two were on their feet once more, struggling with it. Then it went flying out, a few feet past my shoulder and over the cliff behind me. Neither of them even slowed in their fight.

Shit! My heart, already pounding, just about burst through my chest walls. A cold sweat dampened my skin as the bizarre fight suddenly got a whole lot more realer. Though supposedly they were dueling over me, I obviously was the last thing on either of their minds. It was only a matter of time before these bloodsucking idiots recklessly crashed into me.

As carefully as I could, I edged my way around the periphery of their fight, until I got to the trailhead. I fully expected one of them would freeze me in my tracks at some point, but neither did.

I took three steps down the trail and then it was my turn to pause.

This was the perfect opportunity to run. The two were too distracted with each other to even notice my absence. And even if they did notice me, I didn't think they could spare the time or effort to stop me, not without giving the other an opening to attack. Certainly no one would have blamed me for high tailing it away – not even the vampires themselves. I imagine neither would forgive themselves if in their wild flailing they accidentally snapped my neck.

But I didn't go. Perhaps it was prescience or perhaps just common sense finally kicking in, somehow I knew if I left now, nothing good would ever come of my life. I had gone as far as running away could get me. I had to meet my future head on. And my best chance of happiness lay with one of those two bozos killing themselves in the clearing.

Inexorably, I turned around and faced the fight again.


Chuck and Jeffrey stood near the overlook fence about five feet apart, breathing hard and staring as they slowly circled each other. They both looked awful.

Jeffrey's leather pants were sliced at the knees. He'd had lost his jacket entirely and his shirt was little more than a brown rag held on by the thicker material around its collar. His pale, mostly naked chest looked as if someone had bathed it in finger paint. Rivulets of blood left trails on his arms, and there were deep gaping scratches on his back. The last seemed to grow smaller as I watched until they disappeared.

Despite this, he seemed much, much better off than Chuck who had lost nearly all his clothes. What had been his shirt was in small tatters scattered about the clearing and his pants were discarded in a twist near the guardrail, which itself now hung broken and pushed out over the ledge. Even Chuck's shoes appeared to have been flung clear at some point. He stood in nothing but a single sock, his wiry body absolutely drenched in blood and blackened with dirt. He breathed hard and drooped, his expression caught between terror and determination. In my eyes, he seemed small and vulnerable, almost childlike compared to Jeffrey. My heart ached for him.

Jeffrey attacked, bowling Chuck to the ground with a single hard shove. The next moment he was sitting on the older vampire, pinning him to the ground with his thighs. He grabbed a handful of Chuck's hair and yanked his head back. Chuck's chin went up and the long arc of his neck was exposed. Deliberately Jeffrey drew his lips back from his sharp teeth. He leaned forward and hovered a moment over Chuck's damp and shiny skin.

"Do it," said Chuck, closing his eyes in resignation. "Do it quick. Finish me."

Jeffrey froze. Triumph slowly turned into a frown. Then his entire body let out a rolling shudder, as a look of utter horror crossed his face. He suddenly leaped clear of Chuck, and backed away across the clearing shaking his head vigorously.

"Oh, you little faker, you!" he cried. "No, you aren't defeated! I've barely hurt you! You are trying to trick me into taking your blood prematurely."

Chuck sat up and deliberately bent his head to one side, invitingly. "Drink," he cooed. "Your body hungers for it. I won't stop you. Five hundred year old blood, surely you are curious about the taste?"

"Oh no, you don't. I know this trick!" Jeffrey stepped even farther back until the full clearing was between them. "You think you can use your blood to force a bond between us. Then you'll bypass my mental defenses and I will be helpless to you! You'll control me like a puppet!"

Chuck got to his feet with no effort. He suddenly seemed a whole lot less injured than just moments before. Under the sticky mess of filth, his flesh seemed as smooth and perfect as ever. I wondered with a start if any the blood on him was actually his.

"Drink, Jeffrey," insisted Chuck. "Or I will beat you down until your hunger forces you to drink – the result will be the same. I'll have your submission. This way will hurt you less."

"Oh, I'll drink your blood, alright," said Jeffrey, regaining his composure. An angry smile twisted his face. "But not until you are too weak to fend off my will. And when I drink, I won't stop. I'll take your vital core and make it mine."

Jeffrey launched across the clearing and flung himself on Chuck once more. I couldn't make out what they were doing as they scrambled about, but when they paused again, Jeffrey was once more on top of Chuck, his leg's tangled with Chuck's and his forearm pressed firmly into Chuck's upper chest. One hand, contorted into a claw, was poised above Chuck's cheek.

It took me a full second to realize that Jeffrey wasn't just posing in a threatening position. He was trying hard to land his blow. His entire body was rocking with the effort, but his hand remained high and he couldn't seem to make it descend any further.

Jeffrey's face was frozen in genuine fear. Part of him must have known he was outclassed. "Whatever you are trying to do with my mind won't work!" he said as once again he stood up and moved to put some distance between them. "You aren't going to break my will!"

"You are already starting to weaken, Jeffrey," said Chuck calmly, rising once more to his feet. "Drink now and end this. Submit to me and I won't take your life."

Jeffrey put the bench between them. "You lied to me. You are not five hundred years old. What are you, two hundred? Three maybe? But not five."

"I'll be five hundred years a vampire in two years," said Chuck closing in on him slowly.

"You aren't old! I've fought old vampires and you aren't –"

"Slow? Stiff? Frail?" suggested Chuck. There was a trace of amusement in his voice now. "Unable to heal at the rate needed to keep me in prime shape for an extended physical battle? Were you counting on that?"

"How old are you?!" roared Jeffrey.

"The question you should be asking was how much time did my Sire invest in making me. Five years is quite impressive, Jeffrey. That puts you better than ninety percent of vampires out there, and I'm sure that's what's saved you in many fights before. But I was nine years in the making. As I said, I'm in my prime. I might even make it to a thousand."

Jeffrey shook his head even harder. "No one gets nine years," denied Jeffrey. "No Sire has that kind of control! Nine is impossible!"

"Now you are being silly, Jeffrey, it may be rare but it's hardly impossible. Admit it, you picked a fight with the wrong vampire. I crossed into this existence stronger than you will ever be."

Jeffrey flinched. But then his face grew more determined. "Strength isn't everything. There is skill, too."

He leaped over the bench and launched himself on Chuck. They twisted together again, rolling across the ground. A spray of blood arced outwards as Chuck landed a vicious blow.

I had to stop this before Jeffrey got himself killed. Looking around I almost immediately found what I was looking for: A broken branch, almost a log, about as long as my leg and nearly as thick. Seizing it in both hands, I hefted it up and balanced it on my shoulder. I then started walking calmly towards my two would-be patrons. They paid no attention to me whatsoever. Just as I expected.

Chuck was kneeling on the ground, cradling Jeffrey, almost tenderly. There was no doubt of Jeffrey's defeat. Chuck held his free wrist out over Jeffrey's face. "For the last time I offer you this chance. Drink and allow me in!"

"If I go into submission to you, what conditions can I expect?" asked Jeffrey bitterly.

"No conditions."

Jeffrey's face twisted with rage. "Total submission? No time limit, no assurances? My harem, my assets, my very thoughts yours to dictate? That's completely unreasonable!"

"Be thankful I offer the option at all. I usually don't."

Jeffrey shook his head and pushed away Chuck's arm. "Forget it. I don't need your weak charity. I've been in deadly duels before. I'm not afraid." And with that he found new strength to break free of Chuck's grip. He retained his feet and staggered backwards, moving with human slowness.

"So be it. I have no idea what I'd do with you anyway." Chuck stood up and stepped towards him.

I seized the moment. With all my strength, I smacked that branch into the side of Chuck's head. It was like swinging the world's most unbalanced baseball bat. It nearly toppled me over, but I kept my feet, barely. The sound was no louder than the fight, but to my ears it seemed deafening.

Chuck, utterly surprised, fell over and sprawled face-down on the ground.

Jeffrey stared at me for a full second, astounded and then he broke into a delighted grin. "Now, my dear, normally I don't approve of humans interfering with vampire affairs, but it was getting a bit hairy there. Step aside and let me finish him up before he can recover."

Jeffrey moved quickly to attack Chuck. As he bent over the prone vampire, teeth out, I swung my improvised bat again. Jeffrey dropped like a stone across Chuck's bare back.



I stood, breathing hard, more because of the adrenaline rushing through my body than from exertion. For a moment I was afraid that I'd killed one or both, but the two began to stir to life in a matter of seconds. Chuck recovered first despite me handing him a much heavier blow. He shoved Jeffrey off himself then held the side of his head and glared at me as he sat up. Jeffrey roused a moment later and immediately crawled away to sit with his back against the broken overlook fence.

"Do I have your attentions?" I asked, leaning on my log like a cane.

"Quite," said Chuck, wryly.

"My dear, I believe you had something to say?" responded Jeffrey, gingerly stroking the back of his head.

Two weeks ago, the looks they gave me would have turned me into a gibbering pile of goo. Now they rolled off of me. I looked down on the two of them with a feeling like I'd finally found some common ground. They were not as invincible as they pretended and I was not as weak as they dismissed me as. All I needed was a large enough stick and I could get into this game, too.

But I had no illusions that I could win in a fight. Which was okay because I didn't want to fight them. Or them to fight each other. This fist-fight wasn't the arena where my the rest of my life would be decided.

But I knew where that arena was. Holy cow. I knew. The answer to my predicament spread before me as obvious as the view. It was filled with both suck and hope, but not despair. Terrifying but yet exciting. Tantalizingly achievable. But to make it happenI was going to need both Chuck and Jeffrey. How the fuck was I going to get them to agree? They were both just so fucking stubborn.

"Yes, I have a lot to say," I told them, calming the excitement in my heart. "And if you value your futures, you are going to listen. So get comfy."

The two shifted into more settled positions, interestingly, neither stood up, leaving me the literal high ground. I don't know if they were humoring me of if I had succeeded in gaining their momentary respect, but either way I was going to roll with it. Arrogance seemed to speak to these two. I could be a first class prick.

"The first thing," I told them with all the authority I could muster, "Is that this is my life, and I get to choose who I'll spend it with. I'm not handing myself out as a prize to whichever of you assholes can rip the other's lungs out first." I looked at Jeffrey who seemed to find my words amusing. "You claim you've earned me through your efforts, well, I say it's nothing compared to the effort I've expended. You don't get to win me. And you damn well aren't going to have me if you goad Chuck into killing you."

Jeffrey no longer smiled.

"Listen, I get it," I said to him, more kindly. "You look like a twink and you act like a dandy and every so often you feel you have to do something incredibly stupid to prove to the world they should take you seriously. I understand that. Look at me. I'm five foot four. I've had my share of guys lean on me because of my appearance. But now is not the time to indulge your fucking vanity."

I turned then to Chuck. "Jeffrey was right, you don't even want me. You just want to contain me somehow because I'm inconvenient to your elaborate plans. Jeffrey for all his many, many flaws at least attempted to woo me. He talks to me like a partner, not just a pawn to be manipulated. You just shoved me away until you changed your mind and then you took."

"You are wrong," said Chuck. "But for now, it's moot. This is no longer about you. I can't let Jeffrey go. He knows too much and he's too curious to let matters lie. Either he goes into submission to me, where I can take the time to alter any dangerous memories or I have to kill him."

Jeffrey cocked an eyebrow. "Oh now, what have you been up to?"

Chuck waved out his hand. "See?"

"There's a third option, Vestalar," I said, deliberately using his rebel name. Jeffrey's eyes snapped over to Chuck and narrowed, but he said nothing.

"And what would that be?" asked Chuck, dryly. "Other than apparently letting the entire cat out of the bag?"

"I can give you what you want," I said. I let the stick fall to the side and sat on the bench, confident that they weren't going to resume their fight until I was done talking – and with any luck not even then.

"What I want?" Chuck grinned ironically. "I was doing what I wanted when you decided to clobber me with that tree trunk. By the way, that was not an insignificant injury."

I shook my head. "You don't want to fight Jeffrey. In fact, I'm pretty sure you want desperately not to fight him, but you feel you have no other option."

Chuck bent his head to the side with tired acquiescence. "So what do you think I want, George?" He was clearly skeptical that I would have any such knowledge.

"You want to quit. You want to go back to having a harem and home. And, most importantly, you want to do it with a clear conscience." I knew I was on the money and Chuck's expression confirmed it.

"What do you mean 'with a clear conscience?'"

"With a clear conscience, as in you leave your job because it doesn't need to be done anymore. We humans will have other avenues of recourse of without you needing to go vigilante to protect us."

Chuck pulled his head back in disbelief, glanced over at Jeffrey, then back at me. "What, you think he can take my place? Don't get me wrong, Jeffrey, against anyone other than me I'm sure you'd do fine in a fight, but you can't do what I was doing. You don't have the mental powers and you don't have the people skills to manage a rebellion."

"More importantly, I don't have the interest," agreed Jeffrey. "George, I know I said I hate my job, but I have no desire to be an outlaw or a hermit. I'm far too enamored of my creature comforts and I get into enough fights without deliberately trying to enrage my brethren."

"The idea is certainly interesting," said Chuck, like someone handing out a consolation prize. "And I appreciate the thought, but, no, I will not hand my rebellion over to him."

"Well good!" I said leveling the same condescension back at him. "Because that wasn't my idea at all. Nice of you both to make that assumption, though." I crossed my legs and looked down at them. "You are both thinking too small and too personal. What I was saying, Chuck, is what if there were no need for a rebellion at all."

Chuck straightened up. "Do you think you can arrange that? Really? You?" He wasn't just skeptical, his tone was downright withering. "I've been trying to get there for a quarter century and you think you have a solution after thinking about it for a few minutes

Arrogance with arrogance, I schooled myself, as my heart raced. don't let him get under your skin.

"Well, yes," I said, mirroring his tone. "I know you have worked hard on this problem, Chuck, but here the thing: You aren't a human. You can't think like a human. You can't put yourself our shoes. You have no idea what we need or why we need it. So of course, you failed."

"I have been living a human life for more than two decades," Chuck said.

"No, you haven't!" I sprang to my feet, emphasizing each word with a wag of my pointed finger. "You have not been living a human life. Not a minute goes by without you using one vampiric trick or another. Human's have no quick 'do what I want you to do' card we can pull. We can't instantly make others like us. We have to actually negotiate and plan and ingratiate ourselves with each other. And we have to actually make compromises which I don't think I've ever seen you do."

"So you are saying I need to compromise? Perhaps let some vampires abuse their harem? Maybe let a few rebels kill themselves in a name of a hopeless endeavor? Or are you saying I should have not attempted to disguise myself at all and left myself vulnerable to being caught – on principle – so that I will know more of what it's like to be a human."

"See?" I said appealingly to Jeffrey. Poor choice, he seemed just as dumbfounded. "See?" I repeated to the universe. "This is exactly what I mean. My point just went over your head. How can you even hope to help humans if you can't even listen to them?"

"I'm listening," said Chuck. "Speak."

"You vampires are stronger than humans. You are faster. You are tougher and have incredible healing powers. You live much, much longer. You have mental powers I can't even hope to comprehend. But you know what? None of that makes a damn bit of difference when it comes to making a world that works.

"You aren't smarter. You aren't wiser or more noble than us. You have no more claim to common sense or vision. When it comes to politics you are centuries behind us, reinventing the wheel. You are literally killing each other to make a point. We don't need any of your fancy vampiric powers; we need insight and compassion and integrity and most of all the ability to compromise."

"And what compromise should we be making?" Chuck asked.

Here it comes. The moment of truth. The cornerstone of my inspiration. "Vampires need to stop using etiquettes. They have got to go."

It was as if I'd hit both of them with that stick again. For a moment neither of them spoke.

"Oh, but, George," said Jeffrey, patiently, "You misunderstand. Etiquettes aren't about keeping humans in their place. Etiquettes are solely for vampires, to regulate our behavior. Without them, a vampire would simply do whatever he wanted."

"Without etiquettes there would be utter chaos," agreed Chuck. "Unless what you are saying is that vampires should make this world so utterly unlivable that an effective rebellion would be fostered. That's a long way to go to get out of being harem, George!"

I ignored that last dig. "You are both wrong. Etiquettes are the cancer on our society that has turned everything vampires do to shit," I argued. "They are what makes life so fucking hellish for humans. NOT—" I said, interrupting their protest, "Not because they hold vampires back and prevent the worst of their behavior like you said, but precisely because they don't."

I paced around them. "Christ, don't you two see? Etiquettes promise to keep vampires in line, to give humans some semblance of order and security in a world where we have no real power, but it's a false promise. Because etiquettes are totally toothless. They make all you vampires feel like you are in control of things when in fact what you have is chaos."

Chuck shook his head. "That's not true."

"It is true. The three of us wouldn't be on this hill right now if it weren't true. Etiquettes are fucking useless. They are ignored the moment they become inconvenient. You even have a term for a vampire who doesn't believe in them. Solitarian."

"Oh I wouldn't go that far," said Jeffrey. "What happens if you break too many etiquettes isn't pretty and being a solitarian doesn't make you immune."

"Are you talking about the way vampires lynch each other?" I asked. "Yeah, I saw that. And I saw how it only seems to happen to the weak and the unpopular. The Darlene Strobels of the world – they have to watch themselves. But if you are someone like Nadette, ettiquettes can be discarded at will, right Jeffrey? Never let a finders fee get in the way of good auction." I paced over to him and put my hand gingerly on the broken rail. "You said it yourself, might makes right. Obviously, the mightier you are, the less wrong you can do."

"Listen, I don't like the unfairness of it," began Jeffrey.

"I know you don't," I said, interrupting him. "And that's what gives me hope. Thing is, I'm willing to bet most vampires don't like how unfair things are." I crouched down so that Jeffrey and I were eye to eye. "Not everyone can be a Nadette. Or a Lord Hiram who can have all the childer he wants." I turned my head. "Or a Lord Chauncey who can enforce etiquettes that don't even exist because he's just so damn powerful no one can oppose him."

Chuck was nonplussed.

"What I was about to say," said Jeffrey, "Was that I agree there are enforcement issues. And other flaws, but this doesn't mean we should scrap etiquettes all together. How would that improve things?"

"Because it would open up the option for something better."

"And what would that be?" asked Jeffrey, skeptically.

"Law." I said as if stating the obvious. Which in fact it was. "One law for everyone. Humans and vampires alike, backed with teeth and enforced fairly."

"Vampires subject to human law?" Jeffrey drew his head back and shook his head in denial. "No, that would terrible. You would overrun us! There are billions of you, and we are comparatively few."

"What would keep humans from legislating where and when and on whom vampires feed until we starve?" asked Chuck.

"A constitution," I snapped back. "Listen, we humans have this covered. We've done this before. While you vampires have been stuck with a warlord mentality, we humans have come up with a few political innovations. We know how to keep things balanced. You are hardly the only minority out there."

"Perhaps we can make our etiquettes more law like," suggested Jeffrey.

"No. It has to be one law for everyone. It has to be fair. As long as you vampires insist on being above the law, which is really what etiquettes are about, injustice and corruption won't just be allowed – they will be flat out encouraged. And not just with vampires. After all, Jeffrey, why shouldn't my kind bribe yours? Favor for a favor, isn't that how things are done with you?"

I turned to Chuck once more. "And that is the reason for the rebellion. Not because of sex or bloodletting or even taxes. It's because humans lack representation in a world where our lives can be turned upside down by the offhanded whim of a single vampire. You call yourselves our patrons, but we human's can't rely on you to know what is best for us. We have to be able to speak out for what's best for ourselves."

I stared them down. "Look into your hearts. You know this is right. We have far more in common than we have differences. You are us. We are you. We may not be the same, but we damn well can be equal."

Chuck seemed lost in thought. "It won't be popular among vampires, but humans might be reassured by the familiarity of it. And it might work with proper safeguards. Perhaps it will reduce the need for a rebellion."

"I know it will," I said. "I think you underestimate how many vampires would appreciate it. Surely you must get tired of risking your lives every time you want justice. And I'm willing to bet fully half the time justice isn't served even with a duel. Surely vampires are tired of the unfairness and unpredictability of the system?"

I was starting to feel heady with the rush of being finally able to talk and be listened to. I could almost see myself gathering them in. Perhaps I got a bit overconfident, because, abruptly, I realized I'd lost Jeffrey's attention.

"Oh, Mouse," he said, sighing. "Listen, I'm intrigued by your idea, truly I am, but is now really the time for it? It's a bit – how shall I say this – overreaching. And utterly irrelevant. It is kind of you to distract us, and give me a bit of a breather, but Chauncey and I have unfinished business and nothing you have said will resolve it." He stood up and shook himself, readying for another round.

Oh, no you don't! I dashed back to my stick and picked it up again. "Do I really need to hit you again, Jeffrey? Because I will. You are a hundred years old. Don't be in such a rush to go back to dying."

"Let him say his peace, Jeffrey," said Chuck. "I won't fight you until he's done."

Jeffrey looked annoyed, but then shrugged and sat back down. I lowered the stick to the ground.

"What I don't know," said Chuck, "Is how you expect to get this to actually happen. It is one thing to propose it to Jeffrey and me on this hilltop, but for Vampires to actually banish etiquettes in favor of laws, that's not an easy task, even if you could get a majority of vampires to agree. It takes years for even minor etiquettes to become established. Who do you envision spearheading this crusade? Jeffrey? Me?"

I leveled a huge grin on him. "Neither of you. This is my crusade. I'm going to do it."

"You?!" they both cried in unison.

"Involve yourself in vampire politics? My dear, you can't!" said Jeffrey, pulling himself up to his feet again. "That is simply impossible!"

"Why the hell not," I asked crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Is there an etiquette against it?"

"There is no need for one." Jeffrey looked aghast. "It's utterly absurd. Don't be unreasonable!"

"But that's just it!" I said. "I have to be unreasonable. Without unreasonable people, nothing gets changed. And it has to be me, because that's the whole point of this. Human's need a voice in vampire politics. We need to represent ourselves and not just rely on the haphazard altruism of vampires."

"You have no experience with politics," said Chuck, equally apoplectic but making a slightly better show of containing his outrage. "Not even of the human sort."

"I'll learn," I retorted.

"And how do you propose to make vampires take you seriously," asked Chuck.

I grinned again, this time with pain. This was the hardest part of my vision, but I couldn't back away from it.

"I'm gonna grease some wheels, Chuck," I said through my clenched teeth. "And that will be my compromise."

I closed my eyes, but there it was: me agreeing to my deepest fear. I was going to whore myself out. But somehow it seemed less terrifying to me. It was going to happen anyway. And this way, I could potentially save others from a similar predicament.

"You seriously think your blood will buy their vote?" Chuck asked gently. Poor human, so naïve.

I didn't let it phase me. "My blood will get me in the door. My argument will earn their vote. They may not care about humans, but it's in their best interest, too. I bet there are a ton of junior vampires out there who have tried to abide by etiquettes only to watch some senior vampire flub them off with impunity. Take Lord Hiram and his 'screw you I'm gonna make a childe attitude.' I'm sure I'd have the vote of Salt Lake City tomorrow if I asked. And he can't be rare."

"You will still need a sympathetic Patron," Chuck pointed out. "Or else I suspect you will forget about your cause very quickly."

I nodded. "I know that. And that's why I'm talking with the two of you. Of all the vampires I've met in the last couple of weeks, you two are the only ones who have shown any sympathy to the plight of humans."

Jeffrey laughed. "Ah so that's it! You wish to see which of us bites hardest so that you can choose to align yourself with that one! Oh how clever! I certainly admire your gumption, George. And to be honest, I think if I could, I would bite. If for no other reason, to see Lord Andrew's face the first time he had to abide by some small annoying human law. Oh, my, it would be rich. Utterly rich."

"That's not –" I began.

"-- And perhaps it would keep me better in line." Jeffrey interrupted again. His face sobered. "You don't have to accuse me, George. I know the little game that started all this fuss was wrong. Now. It never occurred to me to think about it from the point of view of the undesirables until you called me out on it just a while ago. I knew that I could alter their memories and let them go home without trauma and I figured that that would be enough. But I didn't stop to consider what an inconvenience to their lives I was causing, or what fear they'd experience in the hours before I had my fun with them. Or what fear their loved ones might have had for them. And what if I had been more callous than I was – what if I truly didn't care at all? I could have ruined them, for fun. It would have been easy."

I nodded. This was exactly what I'd been trying to get him to see.

"It is so easy to take assumption as fact when you can read people's minds, George. I've been trying to predict where you were going with this discussion for several minutes now, and I just couldn't do it. I kept coloring my expectations with my own biases and experience. It is so, so hard to reject the things I know in my gut are true. I simply can't step out of my own shoes long enough to truly put myself in yours. It's quite unpleasantly humbling."

"Then will you—" I began.

Chuck broke in. "I accept."

Both of us turned to look at him. He was using his vampire voice, impossible to ignore. His expression had changed in the last few minutes, from doubtful to something fierce and powerful and scary as hell. I tighten my hand on the metal rail. Hoo, boy, when Chuck caught a cause, he really caught it. It was daunting.

"Accept what?" I asked nervously. I hadn't offered him anything. At least I didn't think I had.

"Accept being your patron. Accept your cause. I'm willing to try just about anything at this point, but your idea sounds like it might actually work."

"No," I said. It was damn hard to say with those eyes boring into me. I half expected him to seize my mind and change it but he merely looked confused.

"I'm the logical choice," reasoned Chuck. "I have the strength to back you up. I will intimidate those who would scoff at you. I can influence their minds to make them more receptive to your message. It's harder with vampires than humans but far from impossible. And I want this far more than Jeffrey does. He may play along for the entertainment value, but I will be in it for the end result."

"No, Chuck," I repeated. "You can't. That would undermine the whole principle of the thing." I shook my head. "They have to agree to it of their own free will."

"I'm not sure I can stop myself," said Chuck reluctantly. "When I see what needs to be done, I can't hold back when I do it."

"But you have to," I said. "You have to trust other people to do the right thing. Because otherwise it's not a democracy. No matter how right you think you are, you can't bully your way to having more than one vote. You can't coerce your way to a fair society."

"So does that mean you want me as your patron?" Jeffrey asked.

"Will you do it?" I asked. "You will be my patron? You will help me fight for this? I guarantee that this will be a more exiting, less soul killing job than what you have."

"Oh, my Mouse, I want to. I really would," said Jeffrey. But then his face collapsed. "But I can't."

Oh for heaven's sake. "Why not?"

"My dear, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I'm poor. All my assets are tied up in my property." He shrugged sheepishly. "I have a weakness for shiny pretty things, what can I say? I can't champion your cause and do my day-job at the same time. As exciting as this sounds, I need an income, not just a calling."

"My blood --"

"Will be spent on favors," said Jeffrey. "Your blood will get them to listen to you, because believe me otherwise they won't. I can't ask for money and their ear. It's one or the other. Perhaps though, if you considered thinking a bit less global, we could make my protectorate a showcase--"

"Or he could find a donor to the cause," broke in Chuck. "A patron, if you will." He was grinning again, that same one he got when things were going his way.

I nodded, that was what I was thinking. "And that's why I need you both. Chuck, with all your clubs, surely you must be a millionaire. If you can fund your rebellion, you can certainly pay our travel expenses." I figured it was a safe bet given the outrageous prices he charged at his clubs.

"I'm a billionaire," Chuck confirmed. "I can support Jeffrey, and not just the travel expenses, I can pay him enough to buy many pretty shiny things ... if he agrees to one little thing. And that will resolve all my problems in one neat solution." His grin grew wolfish. With start realized what he wanted. I turned to Jeffrey to see his reaction.

"No," said Jeffrey. "Absolutely not. No."

"It will not be so terrible," said Chuck holding out his arm.

"Absolutely, unquestioningly, no!" he responded, backing away from both of us. "I refused when my life was at stake, I'm not going to accept it now."

"Jeffrey," I begged. "Please. Don't make him kill you."

"I will not go into submission to him, George!" shouted Jeffrey. "Not for money!"

"Well so much for the reasonable, human, negotiating way." Chuck finally stood up. "I guess we'll have to handle this like vampires after all. Don't worry, George, " he said clapping the dirt off his hands. "I want this more than you do. He may need a few days to recover when I'm through, but I won't let your patron die."

And before either of us could respond, Chuck launched himself on Jeffrey again.

---

Once again I left my notes here: http://velvet-mace.livejournal.com/315512.html