Pain and.. pain?

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!!! I'm sorry for the loooooong wait but real life ot on the way, BIG TIME! My parents are currently visiting until Monday so I wont be able to update before Tuesday probably.. Sorry again! I hate making you guys wait.

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Hope you like it!



CHAPTER 32




Mrs. Scott tried to chit chat during the ride but I sat still, staring at the business card Thomson had given me. I wasn’t sure why he had given me his number. He had only helped me because of Kevin and if Kevin went to jail he had no reason to help me anymore. I got his friend in trouble so why would he bother.

When we parked in front of a big house and Scott killed the engine, I hunched on my seat even more. I already knew I didn’t belong here. “M-Ma’am?” I opened my mouth for the first time since we left the precinct.

“Oh please dear, call me Diana.” She smiled gently and I glanced at her nervously before looking down again.

“D-Diana.” I said tentatively and gnawed on my lower lip nervously before asking. “How.. How long d-do I h-have to be h-here?”

Her eyes softened and I winced slightly when she gave my arm a pat. “Don’t you worry dear, you will like it here.” She said and I nodded just slightly. I seriously doubted her but didn’t want to argue. Diana watched me for a moment before continuing. “If everything goes to plan, you will be here until you turn eighteen, Jason. I got your birth certificate and your birthday is in four months.”

Four months. I was going to be eighteen in four months. I hadn’t even remembered.

“What.. What happens t-then, ma.. Diana?” I asked and received another pat on my arm.

“Then we will help you set up your life dear. Come one then, let’s go inside.” Diana said briskly and pushed the button to open my seatbelt before undoing her own. I got out of the car reluctantly and pushed Thomson’s phone number in my pocket before I’d loose it.




We got inside and were instantly greeted with screams and yelling. I froze at the door and backed away into the wall. Diana didn’t seem fazed though, she was looking around for someone. Suddenly a man in his thirties came forward, holding a squirming little girl under his arm and breathing heavily.

“Diana! Sorry about the ruckus, we were having a birthday party for Nicholas and.. well, you can see the result.” The man panted out and I looked around cautiously. The kids were running around shouting and throwing food at each other. I could feel my heart speed up and my palms get sweaty.

“Kristy, stop squirming! I told you not to throw cake.” The man said to the little girl under his arm while hoisting her a little higher.

“Let me down! Let me down!” The little girl, Kristy, screamed as if she was hurting but at the same time she glanced at me with sparkling eyes. She was having fun.

A lady in her fifties with tousled hair appeared next to us and took a deep breath before smiling at Diana. “Diana! You’re here. A right mess this turned out to be. Ronald, take Kristy upstairs will you and try to get the others to settle down.“ She said and the younger man nodded firmly before turning on his heels and heading upstairs.

“Hello, Rose. I see the little rascals are at it again.” Diana smiled and the other woman let out a big sigh.

“Indeed. I should have known this was going to happen.” She said and turned her eyes to me. “And this is Jason I believe?”

“Ah, yes. Jason, this is Rose Jackson, she is the head of the house.” Diana said and motioned me to come forward. I took a hesitant step forward and tugged on the hem of my shirt nervously while Diana set her hand on my shoulder.

“Nice to meet you Jason. I’m sure you will be happy with us. Now, let’s get you settled and then go see if some of that cake survived from being splattered all over my kitchen.” Jackson said and rolled her sparkling eyes quickly before motioning me forward. Diana glanced at her watch and then me.

“I’m afraid I have to run again, Rose, I’m sorry. I’ll be back tomorrow to check on him, alright? Jason, remember to be good and you will be fine.” She said to me and before I could open my mouth she was out of the door and I was left alone in the middle of screaming strangers.

Jackson gave me a smile and motioned me to follow her. “Come on then dear, I’ll show you to your room.” She said and headed for the stairs. I followed reluctantly and kept close to the wall all the way upstairs. She took me to a small bedroom with two beds, two wardrobes and two small desks with chairs in front of them. The other bed was badly made and posters of rock bands had been pinned to the wall above it. Stray socks and half kept t-shirts lay on the floor around the bed while the desk was clattered with stuff as well.

“I swear to God I told Christopher to clean up but as always his things are scattered around everywhere.” Jackson sighed and turned to the neatly made bed on the other side of the room. “Anyway, this will be your bed. Obviously you don’t have a lot of things yet but once we get you some things of your own I’m sure you feel right at home here.”

I hope not, I thought dimly and looked at the light blue walls of the room. I felt so out of place. I glanced at Jackson who was still smiling and now heading for the door again. “Now, let’s go see if there’s any cake left for you.” She said and I looked down.

“I.. I’m n-not hungry, m-ma’am.” I said quietly and she turned to look at me.

“Call me Rose, dear. We are not so big on titles here. Are you sure you wouldn’t want some cake? I can assure you it’s good, I baked it myself.” She smiled and I gnawed on my lip carefully.

“N-No, t-thank you. I.. C-Can I..”

“Tired?” Rose asked gently and nodded slightly. She moved to the bed and pulled the covers aside. “Toilet is down the hallway to the right, third door on the left if you have the need. You can sleep until dinner, I’ll send someone to wake you up, alright dear?”

I nodded carefully and mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ before sitting on the bed. I waited until the door closed after her before looking around the room again, nervous about this Christopher I was sharing the room with. The other boys at the brothel hadn’t liked me, maybe he wouldn’t either. I kicked off my torn sneakers and laid down before pulling the covers up to my ears and closing my eyes.




It took me a long time to feel calm enough to actually fall asleep and when I did, my sleep was restless. I woke up with a startle when someone shook me by my shoulder and bit back a scream of fear just barely. I whipped around on the bed and pressed my sweaty back against the wall while staring at the boy in font of me with wide eyes.

“Whoa! I was just waking you up, keep your pants on!” The boy with messy greenish hair exclaimed and held his hands up in surrender. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and watched how the other by crossed the room to sit on the messy bed. His hair really was green, well it had been green but the dye had mostly washed off, leaving a greenish tint on his naturally light brown hair.

“I’m Chris. NOT Christopher. Call me by my full name and I’ll beat you, got it?” The boy asked with a harsh voice and I nodded stiffly, trying to disentangle myself from the sweaty covers. I finally managed to sit up, the covers still over my legs and tried to brush my hair out of my eyes. “Kind of rude not to introduce yourself.” Chris remarked from his side of the room and I kept my eyes on the floor while mumbling.

“Jason.”

“What ever. Touch my stuff or ask about my past and I’ll beat you. This is my room. I don’t want your shit lying around.” The green haired boy grumbled and I hugged my oversized shirt closer.

“I don’t have any stuff, don’t worry.” I mumbled and shivered at the feeling of sweat running down my back. The other boy just humpfed and got up from his bed.

“What ever. Come on, dinnertime. Rose gets her panties in a twist if you’re late and you’ll end up cleaning up after everyone.” He grumbled and stalked out of the room. I followed him quickly and felt myself grow more and more nervous the closer we got to the kitchen.


Everyone else was already there, sitting along a long table with plates set up neatly and my grumpy roommate took his place quickly between two smaller kids. I noticed that everyone sat like that, older and smaller kids mixed.

“Ah, Jason. Take your seat next to Kristy, please.” Rose said from where she stood by the opened oven and I looked around the table to see the little girl I had seen being carried earlier. She smiled at me and I went around the table to sit next to her. On my other side sat the man who had met us at the door when Diana had brought me in, I think Ron was his name. He smiled at me as well and said.

“Hi, sorry I didn’t have time to introduce myself earlier. I’m Ron. Don’t worry, it’s not always as crazy around here as it was earlier.” He grinned and I managed a nervous smile back. Rose set a big casserole on the middle of the table and stuck a big spoon in it before saying.

“Now, let’s everyone introduce ourselves to Jason before we eat, shall we. Nicholas, why don’t you begin.” I looked up and saw a young boy smile at me shyly.

“H-Hi. I’m Nicholas, I’m ten today!” He exclaimed excitingly and I forced a small smile.

All the kids introduced themselves; there were seven of us in total. About half were teenagers like me, the rest aging from six to eleven. Kristy, the girl sitting next to me was the youngest in the house and clearly some sort of a ‘mascot’ to everyone else. There were more boys than girls too, I noticed. Only two girls plus Kristy, one of them aged nine, Cassandra, and Nicole, fourteen. The youngest of the boys was seven, Robert, then Nicholas and Chris who was the oldest, seventeen.

Rose was a widow, she had started taking in foster kids with her husband who had died a few years ago. Since then her son Ron had moved back home to help temporarily but hadn’t left since. Chris had been here the longest, since he had been nine and hadn’t needed to share a room with anyone in a long time. I was invading his space which made me feel even more on edge.

This was all told me by Kristy; she wasn’t shy like Nicholas and kept talking all the way through dinner. Even when Rose told her to be quiet, she kept whispering things to me and asking questions. I didn’t say a word, not quite sure how I was supposed to respond to someone babbling on like that. I wasn’t used to making conversation; when I was with Tristan we talked, sure, but he never babbled on like this. Neither did Kevin who was more of the silent type.



When dinner was over, Rose delegated helping to clean up to me and Chris who grumbled silent swears under his breath when the woman was out of earshot. I didn’t mind really. I was used to cleaning and this was better than having to sit in the little room upstairs with my new grumpy roommate.

When we were done with our task, Rose thanked us with a smile and told Chris he could go to his room now. Apparently the ruckus earlier today had lost everyone their TV privileges and everyone had to stay in their rooms tonight. When I went to follow the other boy, Rose asked me to follow her instead. I wiped my sweaty palms against my torn jeans when walking behind her, not wanting to go where ever we were going. She took me to a big walk-in closet and started handing me things.

“Here we go, a towel of course. Then some clothes.” She eyed me for a moment before pulling a few pairs of jeans and shirts off the neatly arranged shelves. “There you go dear. These should fit you. They are for just until we can get you some new clothes, don’t worry dear.” She said and I looked down at the clothes in my arms.

Worry? They were in better shape than most of my clothes.

“T-Thank you.” I mumbled nervously and smiled at her carefully.

Rose smiled back and pushed me out of the closet gently. “Now, let me show you the bathroom so you can take a shower before bed. Did you sleep well earlier?” She asked and I nodded quietly.

“We have two bathrooms here, normally girls use the one downstairs and the boys this one upstairs but you can use either one. Dirty clothes go into the hamper by the door, if your clothes aren’t in it, they won’t get washed so make sure you don’t leave your clothes lying around. Everyone has to help around the house with the chores but we can discuss that tomorrow. Tonight you can just take it easy and get to know Christopher.” Rose continued and I just kept nodding quietly, not knowing what to say.

I felt so out of place here.





After a quick shower I felt a little better and put on the a bit worn down pajama pants and my own t-shirt before going to Chris’ room. I opened the door hesitantly and padded quietly across the room to my bed, careful not to disturb the messy haired boy laying on his bed on his back with big headphones over his ears, throwing a squishy ball into the air only to catch it every time before it hit his face.

I put my new clothes into the closet before moving to look out of the window. I could see the street in front of the building from here, nothing interesting but a hell of a lot better than the brick wall I had stared at for seventeen years at home. I let out a sigh I hadn’t known I had been holding in and moved to sit on my bed, leaning against the wall and pulling my knees up to my chest.

I kept my eyes on the floor and focused on the sound of Chris throwing the ball. I could hear his music blasting through his headphones and closed my eyes tiredly. I was feeling defeated and depressed. I guess this place wasn’t that bad, Rose was nice at least but I would have rather been at Kevin’s.

Thinking about Kevin was a big mistake. Thinking about the bouncer led to images of him behind bars popping into my mind yet again and then Tristan. He had been at the Cave during the raid and I wondered what had happened to the little boy. I hoped that he was safe, where ever he was.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” An annoyed voice interrupted my thoughts from the other side of the room and I flinched before lifting my head just slightly to look at Chris. He was sitting up now, leaning against the wall with his pillow stuffed behind his back and staring at me. I tasted something salty on my lips and wiped away the tears I hadn’t known had been running down my cheeks.

“N-Nothing.” I mumbled and turned away from him, laying down with my back turned to the other boy. I curled up and tried to rub my face dry. I didn’t want to show the other boy my weakness. I didn’t want to be easy prey and I knew from working at the brothel that if you showed weakness, people would walk all over you.

Four months. I only had to be here for four months.



The next morning I woke up early in Chris’ swearing. He was getting dressed already and I wrenched my eyes open so I could see him. He noticed me looking and threw me a dirty look. “Fucking school.” He grumbled, his hair even more messy than yesterday and I saw him grab his backpack full of patches and black marker doodles. He left, banging the door after him and I rubbed on my tired eyes. School.

I wasn’t sure if I should get up too but opted for staying under the warm covers until someone would come and get me. I wasn’t going to school today that was for sure.

Half an hour later, when all the commotion had died from the hallway, there was a knock on the door and before I could answer anything, it was pushed open and Ron’s head popped in.

“Rise and shine! Time to get up Jason. Diane is coming over in half an hour to talk with you so get ready and come downstairs for breakfast, okay?” The man said, too energetic for it being so early in the morning and I nodded quietly. He closed the door and I forced myself to push aside the covers and move from my warm nest.

I was eating some sort of healthy wheat serials by the kitchen table when Diana walked into the room with Rose. She gave me a warm smile and asked. “How was your first night, Jason? Sleep well?”

I just nodded and lowered my eyes back to my bowl. Diana settled herself on the seat opposite me and pulled a file out of her briefcase. I took a sip from my milk and I kept my eyes on the file. It was about me and I wanted to know what was in it.