My Beloved Shadow

**
In the heart of darkness,
There is a light so bright,
As to blind a mortal man,
It is pure unto itself,
Untainted, untouchable.
**





They laid there on the bed for a long time without moving or speaking, both recovering. Finally Jason starts to stir.
“Do you really think Norris will be understanding and listen to me?”

Jason moves his head a little so that he can see Nick’s face. He’s almost afraid that, after the fight they had, Norris won’t even want to talk to him again. It’s not like it is his fault entirely, Norris shouldn’t of said some of the things he did. But, at the same time, he knows that he shouldn’t of left like he had.

“If he really cares about you, he’ll listen. If he’s not willing to listen, to compromise a little for you, then he isn’t worth worrying about. But I think he’ll be willing to give you a chance. I think he will meet you half way. Just as long as you give a little, too.”

Hope blossoms within Jason, hope that Norris really does love him enough to learn to accept certain things about him. He doesn’t expect him to accept everything. Jason moves closer to Nick, his leg slipping between the other’s and rubbing against him.
“I want it. I want to be able to tell Norris everything and know that he still loves me.”

Jason starts to kiss Nick’s chest but stops short at the marks there. He looks up and gives Nick a questioning look.

“Tsion do this?”

Nick smiled, “Yes, though he looks a lot worse than I do.”

“You trust him enough to let him mark you?”

Jason doesn’t trust Tsion that much, and that’s why he seeks some understanding. Nick hadn’t even thought of it that way. Does he trust Tsion? No, not really. When it comes to telling him things, important or not, he doesn’t trust Tsion. But, with his life…
“Yes. There are some things I don’t trust him with, but my safety I do trust him with.”

Jason moves to straddle his waist, his fingers tracing the outline of each mark, though his eyes watch Nick. He sees the way Nick’s eyes softened just a little when he speaks of Tsion, how his lips tilted up ever so slightly and the color in his face seemed to redden just a little.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Now it’s Nick’s turn to be confused.

“Why do you say that?”

“The way you looked just now when you were thinking about him. Your face softened just a little, and you gained some color in your cheeks. Your eyes even sparkled. It’s nothing too noticeable, but it’s all too familiar.”

Jason reaches over and touches Nick’s cheek gently, “Norris use to look at me like that. Before our last year of school, before Tsion came around.”

Nick places his hand over Jason’s and gives it a squeeze, trying to reassure Jason. He can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like to have Tsion, or Michael as he had been back then, around all the time. He had seen what he did for a few weeks, let alone a year of it.

And yet, Nick knows what it’s like. His father had been abusive, had taken pleasure from seeing his mother, and then himself, fearful and in pain.

“Give him a chance, Jason. I’m sure right now he’s just afraid to show anything.”

Jason lays his head down on Nick’s chest and closes his eyes. He can hear the steady beat of Nick’s heart and it’s almost calming.

“You know what’s really weird about all this? The fact that Tsion is a god. I mean, the people treat him as such. They have alters in each home that they worship at every evening. At least Nea said they do, I just know what we have.

It’s just too weird, knowing him from before, as just another student, and then now with everyone saying he’s a god.”

Nick felt cold and numb quite suddenly. He’s almost certain he heard Jason wrong, but when he mentioned it again he knows he had heard right. Tsion, a god? It just doesn’t seem right. He will grab Tsion before the day is done and make him tell everything. Nick had let so much go, things that were necessary for him to know. After this he can’t keep letting it go.

“What’s wrong?”

Jason had felt Nick’s heart suddenly speed up, felt a slight change in his body and is worried that something may be wrong.

“Nothing is wrong. Your pressed up against certain things that would like some attention.”

The last thing Nick wants to do is let Jason know that he hadn’t known anything about Tsion being a god. How would that look? Besides, it would worry Jason unnecessarily, and he does need a little attention at the moment. It might save him from killing Tsion, or himself.

****

Tsion made all the necessary arrangements for the ceremony, which is to be preformed the next day at noon. He even went so far as to start plans for his gift to Nick. He had told him before that a gift would be given by each of them to the other. Though he doesn’t really expect anything from Nick. He just doesn’t have enough time to come up with something, at least not and it be a surprise.

With everything he does it takes him a little over two hours to get everything done and finally be able to return to the castle, to check on Nick. As he nears his room where he can sense Nick he comes across Jason walking down the hall. The boy looks a lot happier than he had earlier.

“Jason, how are you doing?”

Jason bows his head, “I’m doing good. You?”

“Good as well.”

Jason smiled, that one smile making him seem so much younger and only helps to remind Tsion just how old he is. Few are able to remind him of his age, but some how Nick and Jason have that ability. But, mostly Jason because he’s still so childlike himself, and some how innocent in nature even after going through so much. Tsion can’t help but respect that, a little. Jason is still human and he still hates human’s with a passion.

But, Jason is his human, and is fathering children for his people. Tsion sighs inwardly, wondering if Nick being around isn’t having an affect on him. He’s not usually this soft.

“Nea told me about Maera. It pleases me to know that soon we will have babies within these walls. You are doing good with the girls, Jason, they speak only good things about you.”

Jason blushes and looks away, “Thank you.”

Tsion places a finger underneath Jason’s chin and raises his head up so that he may look into his eyes.

“Obedience does not go unnoticed, Jason. Anything that you desire, as long as it’s within reason, I will grant you.”

Could this be the man from before, Jason asked himself. This person seems somehow nicer than the one before, more pleasant.

“At this moment I desire no more than what I all ready have. But, thank you.”

Tsion nods his head and releases his hold on Jason, “Fair enough. Later, then.”

He waves his hand and walks off, dismissing Jason. Jason shakes his had, seeing some of the old Tsion. His destination at the moment, though, is to find Norris and try to talk to him. Nick had finally convinced him to seek out Norris and tell him everything.

It’s scary for Jason, the idea of telling Norris everything, things he’d hidden to save Norris pain. He’s scared that once Norris knows about everything he won’t want him around any more. But Jason also understands that if he continues to keep secrets from Norris that he will losing him altogether.

***

Tsion goes to his room and knocks at the door adjoining the two rooms. He hears a muffled reply and, taking it as he can come in, opens the door and walks into Nick’s room. Nick is sitting at the bed, leaning down as he slips his foot into a boot.

“You’ve good timing, I was just getting ready to go find you.”

“Oh?”

Tsion doesn’t like the tone in Nick’s voice, like he’s pissed at something. What he would be upset about, Tsion doesn’t know.
Nick looks up at Tsion, his face serious, anger flashing behind his eyes.

“You’ve spent most of the time moving around the truth, staying just outside of telling me everything. I have to know everything, Tsion.

I was talking to Jason not long ago and he reminded me about all of the ‘we’ll talk later’ you’ve given me.”

Tsion moves further into the room, closing the door behind him. It’s not as bad as he thought it was, Nick doesn’t seem to really be mad at him.

“What is it you wish to know?”

“What are you? Honestly, with no evasion or half truths. Are you a god? A shadow creature?”

Tsion moves closer to Nick, not stopping until he’s standing directly in front of him, their legs touching.

“I am a god. I had meant to tell you sooner but I always got side tracked.”

“No more distractions…”

“No,” Tsion pushes Nick gently back on the bed and moves to straddle his waist. He leans down, hands on either side of Nick’s head to support himself.

“My father was the god of darkness and shadow, my mother was the goddess of purity and light. I am a blend of them both, neither good nor bad, but I can be good at both. When my mother died my father betrayed all the gods by siding with the Dark Divine. He destroyed our people, forcing them to fight in a war they didn’t want to be involved in.

I killed him, finally, after years of near slavery. I lived with my people, experienced the same pain and loss that they did. When it came time to kill my father there was nothing left in my heart to care. Though I prayed to the Divine parents that his soul be freed and left in peace.

How is that?”

Nick just blinks up at him for a moment or two, trying to process everything.

“You mean, I-I’m married to a god? A… Damn, Tsion! Just, just… Oh, hell. What does this mean for us?”

Tsion laughs, “Nothing more than what is all ready, meili. I may be a god, but I’m not in the same class as the other’s. The ability to create with a thought died with my father. I do not have enough power as a god to do much at all.

“Just because I’m now a god and not just human, or a shadow creature, doesn’t mean I care any differently about you.”

“Care?” Nick’s heart suddenly stops beating, then speeds up with enough force to rise to his throat and cause it to constrict. Tsion just smiled and leaned down closer to Nick. This is one of those rare moments that Tsion is certain of how he feels, and what he thinks.

It hadn’t been all that clear before but now, looking at Nick, he can’t help but feel something for the other.

“Yes. As strange as it seems, I believe I actually care about you. I won’t call it love right now, I just can’t. I haven’t allowed myself such things in years. But it would cause me much pain to lose you, especially if it was my own fault for keeping something from you.”

Nick finds himself returning Tsion’s smile. He may just care a little himself.

“Well, I think I might care about you, too. I know I seem to be a very jealous person.”

Tsion lets his lips touch Nick’s lightly, then moves to kiss his ear.

“Would you like to see my true form?”

“Yes.”

Tsion kisses his lips, deep and passionate. Nick closes his eyes and lets Tsion lead, but something strange starts to happen. Nick can feel warmth against his lips, warmth that spreads throughout his entire body and the taste of the sweetest honey fills his mouth. He opens his eyes suddenly and finds himself staring into eyes are as familiar as they are foreign.

Tsion’s hair is white, so white it’s almost translucent. His skin is gold in color and shinning with a glow from within, his eyes are blue, right and clear.

“You taste like honey, “ Is the first thing that comes out of Nick’s mouth. Tsion bursts out laughing, his entire body moving with the force of it and the light surrounding him pulsing outward. Nick feels warm inside, safe and peaceful, yet at the same time there is a cold darkness about Tsion.

The shadows in the room seem to be drawn to the light he puts off and form around his body, covering him like a blanket.



**
You can\'t help but feel sorry for Nick. It seems like whenever Tsion decides to tell him something it\'s always big.
Tsion is a god? *eyes widen in surprise* All right, well, I knew it, but no one else did. *grin*
Sorry if this chapter moved around too much, I just couldn\'t stick with one train of thought, and it did bring the big scene in much sooner.
*sigh* Oh, well. That\'s how it goes. Anyways, let me know what you think! *smile*
(btw. The poem in the beginning of the chapter is mine, entirely mine. I created it specifically for Tsion, Keilic made it up when they were lovers. Maybe you\'ll get to \'hear\' Keilic say it to Tsion.)