Tokyo Boys

TOKYO BOYS
Chapter 30


Yuuto’s mother took a short rest and returned to work, but only for one shift. Yuuto was happy to see his mother more often, but he was also aware of the accumulating bills and pondered about talking to Yuuko-san about a part time job during the year. The fear it might hurt his grades and his scholarship chances made him delay the phone call.

He watched Midori as she entered the class with her two friends. She flicked her hair away, rubbing her neck briefly and his fingers itched to draw her in that pose. He touched the edge of his notepad and decided to pick up his pencil. Midori was no longer in his eyesight but the vision was burned into his mind and he started sketching, without care for his surrounding.

“That girl again?” He jumped in surprise when Daisuke spoke next to his ear.

Yuuto quickly dropped the pen and covered the drawing with both his hands, looking at Daisuke, irritated. “Damn it, you startled me, idiot!!”

“Class is about to start…” Daisuke patted his friend’s back. “How about picking up courage and confessing to her in the break? I’m sure she likes you.”

“You think?” Yuuto asked quietly and then shook his head. “No, no… I can’t do that.”

“Of course you can. Be a man, Yuu-chan!” Daisuke gave him another pat and straightened up.

“Stop calling me that!” Yuuto muttered. But instead of dwelling on the matter, he leaned back in his seat. What if he did confess to Midori? She’s been talking to him a lot for months now, no girl had ever spoken to him as much as a word before, unless they wanted him to pass something to Daisuke or ask him about Daisuke.

He took a deep breath. He could do it. He was no longer a child. He was going to be seventeen in two months time. Even if Midori only liked him as a friend, it could develop from there, if he only made the first step. If he didn’t, he could be waiting forever.

~*~

When the class ended, he put away his textbooks and took a deep breath. Before Midori had a chance to go to her friends, he went to her desk. He clutched his fists nervously. In the corner of his eye he could see Daisuke, but made his best effort to ignore him. Nothing mattered at that moment. He was finally going to do it, he was going to confess.

“Uhh…” Unfortunately his voice failed him.

“Hi, Kaname-kun.” She smiled warmly at him. “How are you?”

Her attempted conversation made him ease up a little and regain his courage.

“Um, can I speak to you a moment?” he asked quickly, without breathing, feeling that if he wasn’t going to say it now he was never going to say it. “…outside?”

“Sure…” She looked at him, but didn’t appear to be suspecting anything.

They stepped outside. Students started to get out of their classes to freshen up, but most of the students in Yuuto’s class remained seated, he could hear them chat loudly, it was impossible to make out one chat from another in the tumult. He made sure to lead her to a secluded location, next to the laboratory.

“What is it, Kaname-kun?” she asked. “Are you feeling okay, you’re a little flushed…” She reached out to touch him and he cringed away instinctively.

“I’m okay… I just wanted to tell you something…” he mumbled, feeling his heart beating fast, threatening to burst out of his chest.

She raised her eyebrow and fluttered a hand through her hair, moving it back from her neck, in the movement Yuuto liked so much. He had to take his eyes away from her exposed neck.

He then clutched his fists tight next to his body and bowed his head low.

“I REALLY LIKE YOU!!” he nearly shouted, despite his attempt to keep his voice low.

She was taken aback. Literally. She moved back and stared down at him. He didn’t dare to raise his head and just stared at his feet. She was going to reject him, he knew it.

“Hm… Kaname-kun…” she said quietly.

He still didn’t raise himself up. He froze in his position, expecting to hear her rejection.

“You’re really nice,” she said. “And a lot cuter than I expected…”

Than expected? Yuuto found her choice of words odd.

“But the truth is… I like someone else…” she admitted.

Yuuto finally straightened up, but kept his head lowered. He didn’t need to see the compassionate look in her eyes. Strangely, it didn’t hurt so much as he thought it would.

“I only talked to you in the first place to get closer to Hasabe-kun…” she admitted. “You’re… not so cool.”

Of course. It had to be Daisuke. In the end Midori was like the rest of the girls in the school. He licked his dry lips, wishing he didn’t listen to Daisuke and made a fool of himself.

“But you’re not that close friends anymore, are you?” she asked.

“Wh-what?” he raised his eyes for the first time, confused.

“You used to hang out together more… now it looks like he sees you as any of his other friends in class…” She shrugged. “It just feels like I wasted my time talking to you… I think you’re really cute, but I’m sorry…”

Yuuto felt himself shrinking. Somehow her words felt more hurtful than the actual rejection. It cut deep in his flesh and he felt like carrying his legs and running away from there, running away from school.

“I’m… sorry…” He wasn’t sure how to react. “I won’t… I won’t talk to you again, if you don’t want me to…”

“No, it’s okay. I like talking to you, I want us to be friends, I was just trying to say…”

He no longer cared to hear her, just turned around and returned to class, even though she tried calling his name again. He slumped down in his chair and clutched his hand into a fist, banging it quietly against the table. He didn’t bother to look for Daisuke, the boy had already left to his own business and the break was about to end, even though the five minutes that left till the class started felt like forever.

He watched as Midori walked calmly into class and approached her friends, without even throwing a glance at him. Strange that he didn’t even care anymore.

~*~

“Well?” Daisuke popped up in his face before Yuuto could make a U turn and escape him. “How did it go?”

Yuuto glowered at him. “How do you think?”

Daisuke raised his eyebrow. “No?”

“She said she has someone she likes. She likes you.” Yuuto hugged his portfolio under his armpit.

“What? She’s never even talked to me…” Daisuke said. “At least nothing important that I can remember…”

“Well, it doesn’t matter because everyone likes you.” Yuuto preferred not to mention the rest of the things she said.

“Okay, don’t get so agitated, Yuu-chan, she probably doesn’t worth it…” Daisuke said lamely.

“Whatever… I don’t care… she said I wasn’t cool.” Yuuto furrowed his brow. “What do I need to do to be cool? Mess up my hair? “Fuck” everything that moves?”

“Probably.” Daisuke shrugged. “I’m joking,” he said after a beat when Yuuto didn’t respond.

“It’s okay if you’re not cool, Yuu-chan. Be proud of who you are!” He gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulders. “Besides, I think you’re awesome.”

“But you’re an idiot…” Yuuto huffed coldly and turned away, leaving Daisuke puzzled at his attitude.

Yuuto skipped club that afternoon. His mind was still occupied with thought. Not so much about Midori’s rejection, but her perspective on his relationship with Daisuke. Of course he wasn’t hanging around with Daisuke anymore, they used to walk home together, but now Daisuke lived in the city with Moriyama-sensei and spent all of his free time with the older man. Yuuto couldn’t compete with that.

~*~

After relaxing his muscles in the hot bath, Yuuto got up, drying himself. When he dried his hair, his eyes wandered to the mirror. His messy hair was all spiked up from the towel’s strokes and he thought he actually looked kind of cool. Daisuke was right, getting the bangs out of his eyes made a total difference on his general look. Would he be cool if he bleached his hair like Daisuke? And pierced his ears?

He found himself standing naked in front of the mirror, the towel resting on his shoulders, and running his fingers through his wet hair, experimenting styles. He picked up his mother’s moist lotion. It wasn’t hair gel per se, but it should do the trick. When he dressed up, he realized he should’ve styled his hair after putting on his shirt, but he still liked his new look.

Sure he wasn’t perfect like Daisuke, but he wasn’t looking as bad as he had previously thought. Maybe he could get people to want him, just like Daisuke.

He suddenly remembered Daisuke’s friend from Shinjuku. What was his name, he took a moment to mull over it. Yoshimura-san! He liked him, didn’t he?

If Daisuke could do it with boys, why couldn’t he do it? Suddenly Yuuto felt very daring.

“I’ll make you acknowledge me…” he said to his reflection.

~*~

“Yuuto, what did you do with your hair?” his mother asked when she returned home.

“Ah, I just thought of trying a new style…” He smiled at her. “Do you like?”

“It’s very… different.” She seemed amused.

“I’m going to bed early tonight… good night, mom!” he said and ran up the stairs.

He quickly spilled the contents of his schoolbag to get ready for the next day. He spotted his drawing notepad and grabbed it, flipping through. He then tore all the sketches he’s made of Midori, tore them into tiny pieces and threw it to the trash bin.

Starting tomorrow, he decided, he was going to change. He will be cool. More than anything, he wanted to be desired. He wanted to know what it feels like to be confessed to and be able to reject another person. His brain was so busy processing his thoughts, that in the end he fell asleep even later than he normally did.

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