Life After College

I guess you guys didn\'t quite like Dicky dying. What can I say. I like a variety of stories. I don\'t want all my stories to be the same. But you all\'s reaction is what I wanted. I wanted you to be so close with these characters, that you feel something if they die. He\'s the only one in this story that dies, okay?

This chapter is a bit short.

--Scribbles05


Chapter 30

I know now that I was probably hard to put up with when it came time to plan the funeral, because I acted like a complete ass. I hardly spoke to anyone and when I did, I snapped at them. I didn’t mean it and I apologized for it later, but all I had the energy to do was fit the bill.

The funeral was held at the same church we were married and re-married in. I guess it went smoothly, because my entire concentration was on the still body laying in the wooden casket. All of Dicky’s family and friends came -including our friends from school Wesley, Bianca, and Gina. Vivian was so torn, she could barely stand. Nathan had to get her into a chair. My eyes we so misty and red, they felt sore every time I blinked. During the words the preacher was giving and the sight of the casket going down into the freshly dug grave, I started to breakdown in a silent sob. Sofia came up to me with a hand on my shoulder. “It’s time, Dad.”

Me, Sofia, and Damon walked to the hollow grave and grabbed a handful of dirt. They both poured their’s on the casket, but I couldn’t do it. Doing it, to me, meant I had to “let go” I didn’t want to let go. I was still convinced that this was somebody else’s funeral and Dicky would be at home, waiting for me with his arms open wide, smile as big and bright as the sun, and his brown baby doll eyes shining full of life.

“Come on, Dad.” Damon whispered. I slowly exhaled shakily. Reality had just hit me. This WAS Dicky’s funeral. Not someone else’s. I poured the dirt over the casket. I let go but that didn’t mean I “let go”.

I whispered my final goodbyes when people started to leave. I completely shut down.

************
Damon’s POV.......
You know that people mean good by it and are only trying to show their condolences, but unless you’ve experienced the death of someone you were close to and loved, you REALLY just want to be left alone.

Dad was not doing so well. He sat in the livingroom with the guests for a while; sitting off from everyone else. He didn’t even bother joining in on any of the conversations. Dad just looked at the wall, or the floor, or in his own lap.

“Listen, I’m sorry about what happened.” Clint said to me when we were in the kitchen fixing drinks for the guests. “I only knew your father for a few months and he was always a great guy to be around.”

I started to put ice in the glasses. “He was. Dad was great.” I poured the drinks. “You know, I’ve never experienced death until now. I mean, I was around when Sofia’s parents died but I was three then. I had no inkling as to how it felt to lose someone or to grieve.” I stopped pouring glasses as tears started to roll down my eyes. “Now I know how it feels..........and it hurts.”

Clint walked to where I was standing and hugged me. “I’m sorry, Damon.” He rubbed my back.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and sobbed. “I just want my dad back.” I whispered.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

When I finally got myself composed, I grabbed the tray of drinks and headed back into the livingroom. Entertaining was the last thing I felt like doing right now. When I was passing out drinks, I asked my aunt Christina if she had seen my dad. “Andrew went upstairs a little after you left for the kitchen.”

I walked upstairs and knocked on Dad’s shut door. “Dad? Are you in there?” I didn’t get an answer. I opened the door and found him stretched out on his side on the bed still clothed in his funeral attire. His back was to me when I walked up to him. I touched his shoulder. “Dad?” No answer. “Dad, are you okay?” I looked carefully at him and I could see he was still breathing, though a bit shallow. I leaned over to see his face and he looked like he was in some type of spell. His face was pale, his eyes were still red and misty. When he blinked, it was slow and trance-like. You’d think he was in a coma if he wasn’t breathing or blinking his eyes. I shook him again. “Dad? Are you all right?”

Suddenly, I saw him slowly reach out to the other side of the bed. “Dicky.....” He whispered. He was moving his hand around like he saw Dad and was touching him. I didn’t know what to do. Dad was going crazy and it was scaring the heck out of me.

“No one’s there, dad.” I waved my hand in the area he was focusing on. “See?”

“Dicky.....” He whispered again. He began to cry. “Dicky.....” Dad grabbed my other Dad’s pillow and curled into a fetal position.

Not knowing what else to do, I laid on the bed behind him and held him while he cried. This is hell.

************

Eventually, I left my father in the bedroom and let him rest. Thank God for caring boyfriends. Clint and Raymond both helped Sofia with the people downstairs. She looked as beat as I was and she needed all the help she could get. I went back to the livingroom and “entertained” until the last person was gone. We couldn’t fit all the family, but we were able to spare some room for my grandparents; Vivian, Thomas, and Sandra.

Me and Sofia were going to be sharing a room. I let her take my bed and I made a bed on the floor. Before we went to bed, we decided to check on Dad since we hadn’t seen him since earlier that day. We opened the door and saw him. He hadn’t moved. Not one inch since we left him when the guests were here. Still fully dressed, pillow hugged to him, everything.

We couldn’t let him sleep like that, so we walked to him and started to take the suit off him. When I looked into his face, I realized he wasn’t asleep. His eyes were open. “Dad?” I said. No answer. He was still in that spell.

“Come on.” Sofia said. We stripped him down to his t-shirt and boxer/briefs and pulled the sheets over him. “G’night, dad.” She said and kissed his cheek. I held a hand on his shoulder for a minute before I followed her out. “What’s wrong with him?” She whispered to me when we walked down the hall.

I shrugged. “He lost his lover. Someone he’s shared 17 or so years of his life with.”

We reached my room and climbed in our respective beds. “But is that a healthy way of mourning? Suppose he stays like that. Out of it.”

“I don’t know, Sofia. All we can do is help him.”

************
3 days later.....
Sandra’s POV.......

I was making my way downstairs to fix breakfast for everyone one Saturday, when I heard my grandchildren whispering in their room. I’m not a snooper, but the conversation was disturbing and I couldn’t help it.

“Something’s wrong, Damon.” Sofia said in a very distressed voice. “It’s been three days and Dad hasn’t gotten out this trance.”

“I know.” He murmured. “I’m getting worried about him.”

“So am I. He won’t talk, eat, he barely sleeps, he’s losing weight, he’s pale.......it’s like he’s TRYING to kill himself.”

What she said was true. Andrew had changed tremendously. I walked in his room once before and tried to get him to eat something. He didn’t refuse the sandwich I made for him, but he didn’t accept it either. He just laid there, eyes open but wasn’t focused on anything in particular. Thomas has had to help me carry him to the bathroom so I could bathe him. In all my years of living, I never thought I would have to go back to bathing him like he was a child. He’d sit there with his legs folded up to his chest and cry while I soaped his hair. The children were scared and to tell you the truth, I was starting to too.

“Don’t say that, Sofia.” Damon said.

“Why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it? You tell me what else he’s trying to do. He doesn’t move unless you hear him going to use the bathroom. ”

“I’m scared. I don’t want to lose him too.”

“Me either. But I don’t know what all else we could do. We’ve tried everything twice already.”

I had heard enough. I decided not to go downstairs and made my way to Andrew’s room. I opened the door and was greeted with the dark, quiet presence that’s starting to become a type of norm for this room. Curtains were closed, lights were off, everything was dark. No matter what time of day it was, this room was always dark.

I found my son laying on his back in bed. “Andrew, I was going to make some breakfast for everyone. You want to come help me?” Silence. I sat on the edge of the bed and touched his hand. “I know you’re in pain. And I know you miss Richard dreadfully. But you can’t move on, doing what you’re doing. You have got to get out of this condition.” Silence. I sighed. “Andrew.......” He slowly turned his head away from me. Fed up, I grabbed his chin and turned his face back to me. “This is enough. You have got to get a hold of yourself. These kids are worried sick about you and you will NOT die on them. Now sit up.” I pulled him up by his arms and hugged him to me. “I’m not going to let you slip away on me. I’m not going to lose another son. I won’t let you go before I do.” I rubbed his back and rocked him from side to side. “Come on, Andrew. Wake up. Wake up, darling.” I hugged him tighter.

After a few seconds, I heard a gasp of air and the shallow breathing was gone. Replaced by normal respiring. I felt arms wrap tightly around me and the sounds of crying. “Mama.” My son whispered into my neck.

“Hello, Andrew. Welcome back.”

“I can’t........I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can. It will take time, but you will be able to cope with this. We all have to.”

“I don’t know how to do this on my own. I’ve always had Dicky here with me. Helping me.”

“You can live on your own, son. You can make it. It just hurts right now, is all. But you must LIVE. If not for yourself, then for Damon and Sofia, and the children they’ll bring in the future. You can’t choose not to live and deny them of both their parents all in one week’s time.”

************

Andrew’s POV.......

I got up and walked down the hall to Damon’s room. I knocked, then opened the door. Both he and Sofia were sitting together on his bed in total silence. They saw me and quickly stood up. I grabbed the both of them and hugged them. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I’m so sorry I scared you.”

“We’re just glad you’re okay.” Sofia said.

“Okay as I’ll ever be.”

I met up with my mother downstairs and I helped her make breakfast. It did take my mind off of losing Dicky. If not only for a little bit.


More to come, promise.

R&R!!