Only You Sweetheart

Charlotte lay there motionless for what seemed like a lifetime, she felt Matt\'s thumb and forefinger gently pinch at her thigh, his breath was warm against her neck. He was enjoying just being in the moment, she didn’t know what she was feeling. How could she still not hate this man? Or maybe she did hate him but was blinded by it because of all the other different emotions that succumbed her. She could still taste him in her mouth, she tried not to move her tongue too much because of the bitter taste, tears were a thing of the past now.

After a while he lifted his head and planted a kiss on her cheek \"Sorry if I over reacted a bit sweet heart\" She felt like snorting, if *she* had over reacted she would have been beaten senseless but because it was him, all he has to do is apologise and he gets away with it. She got to her feet, closely followed by Matt. Well not this time.
\"Apology not accepted,” she snarled and before she knew what she was doing she punched him straight in the face, when he turned back his face was a cross between shock and amusement.

“Well I wasn’t expecting that, I have to say” he was grinning now, there wasn’t a mark on him, it wasn’t fair. She really was weak.
“Why are you smiling? It isn’t funny!”
“Like I said, I wasn’t expecting it. I quite liked it in a weird sorta way” He was infuriating her!
She lunged at him again, thumping his chest with all her might, trying to hurt or injure him even a little bit, just so he could feel some pain.
“Why do you find this so funny?” She yelled at him, he grabbed her wrists tightly and turned her body so she was looking straight at him. “I don’t. I don’t find this funny; I just like seeing you react. With emotion … passion … for me.”
“No, its not passion … “ she forced her wrists out of his hand and slumped to the ground, weak and broken “It’s not passion” she whimpered quietly.
Matt knelt down beside his wife, and brought her into a hug “Ssh darling, I think you needed that. Release some of that pent up anger, yeah?”
She still felt immobile “No you don’t understand … you just … don’t understand” Her voice was weak, like she’d given up.
“Then talk to me … please” he carried on stroking her hair.
“I just feel so … lonely”
“But you have me babe”
“You know what I mean, I don’t have anyone … You’re so disillusioned by everything that you don’t even care how I feel, not really. You say that you do but if you did you would realise how miserable I was.”
There was a long silence, Charlotte couldn’t tell whether her was going to flip out again, he slid down to a sitting position next to her. “I do realise how miserable you are, I just don’t know how to make it better. I’m not giving you up; I’m not letting you go back to New York in the hope that I’ll forget you because I wont. Contrary to whatever you may believe I don’t kidnap girls and claim that I love them every other month. I love you, I’ll always love you and I know that you will love me, don’t think I haven’t noticed you warming to me, when I touch you, you may beg me to stop but deeper, I see that you don’t wince or grimace anymore. I get angry at you because I get frustrated, I fantasise every night that you fall in love with me and we spend the rest of our lives blissfully happy together, not needing anybody else and so when reality kicks in I lash out. I try to make you unhappy so you know what I’m feeling. I cant make you feel heartbroken so I just make you feel broken.”
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the lips, they felt soft and warm making him smile ever so slightly. She didn’t resist, she didn’t know if shr really wanted to or if she felt like she had to. She just wanted to feel like she wasn’t alone. His lips were warm, she leant forward very slightly and met him for another kiss aftering a few lingering seconds she fell back to reality and pushed him away. “No, stop doing this to me”
He growled out in frustration “This is what I’m talking about …” he grabbed her shoulders “If you want to kiss me, please just kiss me” He leant forward again for another kiss. But she pushed him away again, turning her face from his. “No, your confusing me … I was confused, just leave me alone please … I just want to …”
Matt shoved her to a lying position on the floor and pulled himself on top of her “You just want to do this …” He kissed her on the lips again and again, desperate kisses.
“No get off of me …” Her voice was muffled by another kiss.
“Stop fighting it, Stop …” Tears were forming in Matt’s eyes; she had finally hit that nerve. He desperately wanted her to love him, she knew that she could see it but she wasn’t going to let him have her. She couldn’t, it was wrong. She knew it was. He disgusted her … didn’t he?
“Matt get off of me … Get off!”
He stood up in sheer annoyance at her but more at himself for showing weakness, he went to the sink and poured himself a drink of water, he took a few minutes to recollect his thoughts and regain his composure. Meanwhile Charlotte lifted herself off of the floor, she stood by the couch watching what his next move would be. Weakness, she had definitely sparked a weakness. His love for her was ripping him apart.

…………………………………………………………………

“Ms Jackson?”
“Yeah”
“My name is Detective Knowles, I’m enquiring on the whereabouts of your son Mathew”
“Oh for fuck sake what’s the little shit down now?”
“Can I come in?”
“I’m about to go out, I aint seen my son in ages I don’t know nothing and I really couldn’t care less what he’s up to”
“If I could just talk to you for five minutes …”
“No .. I’m …”
“Ms Jackson a woman’s life is at risk!”

…………………………………………………………………………

He turned to look at her, angry with himself for showing too much. But of course he would take it out on her, bring the power back to his side. It was her fault anyway, she made him like this. He brushed past her and headed towards the stairs. “Upstairs, now.” It was an order, he was angry and Charlotte knew it.