Family Feeding Fairness

The Majority Leader’s speech announced many recent actions by the Senate which changed society and sexuality forever. “It’s common knowledge that girls who smoke are much better cocksuckers, and far more willing to do it. To improve the states of our economy and morale, we recently reached an agreement with lobbyists for Tobaccorp Inc. All females eight or older have a new constitutional right to smoke cigarettes anywhere. Businesses, parents, and teachers must allow them to smoke anytime, anywhere. Girls under eight may practice and play with vapes. There is also a requirement for all females eight or older to smoke at least three cigarettes daily, preferably nude and sitting in their father or brother's lap.

At age seven they will take the course "Safe and Seductive Smoking", and at eight "Smoky Blowjobs for Brothers and Sisters."

“In exchange, Tobaccorp will supply all females eight or older with a free carton of their new healthy cigarettes. All younger girls will get a free pack of five vapes now and a carton of cigs on their eighth birthday. The exercise from sucking on cigarettes for years strengthens muscles in the cheeks, allowing them to generate much greater suction power with a penis in their mouth.

“The new safe cigarettes are totally harmless, the only active ingredients are nicotine and an aphrodisiac which affects both males and females. Instead of stinky tobacco smoke, they taste and smell like chocolate, mint, fruit, or other pleasant things. The potent scents and flavors dull the smoker’s olfactory senses, so they don’t mind the taste of penises, semen, or vaginal fluid. This is a great day for oral sex lovers everywhere!”

He needed to pause his speech for an entire minute, before the crowd quieted enough for him to continue. “To benefit female sexuality and the economy, all males ten and older are now required to drink three shots of whiskey, brandy, tequila, or other hard liquor at the end of each evening meal. The taste is much less pleasant than vaginal secretions, and the alcohol will reduce any hesitation they may have about penetrating or performing oral sex on less attractive females. Note that the requirement is for exactly three shots, no more. They are not allowed to drink any more alcohol until they provide orgasms to all females in the area who ask. Drunkacorp will send all males ten or older three bottles of liquor each, and three to each younger boy on their tenth birthday.” The women in the audience were less enthusiastic about the alcohol than the men were about smoking, but most applauded politely.

He continued, “We couldn’t reach a compromise on several other matters, so we agreed to give each side what they wanted. Per the Faith party’s platform, divorce and adultery are illegal, starting next month. If you don’t like your spouse, find an attorney quick.”

Huge numbers of people booed. Several threw things and were arrested immediately. The Majority Leader was rushed off stage, but refused medical treatment for his minor injury, a cheek bruise from a huge flying 'horsecock' dildo.

Security people moved a clear plastic shield in front of the podium, then he concluded his speech. “To satisfy the Happiness party, polygamy is now legal. Anyone ten or older may marry up to twelve people, male or female, related or not.

“To encourage close families, the new Family First Church offers free weddings to girls who marry their fathers, and boys who marry their mother. Siblings who marry each other get a half off discount. For a reasonable donation, the church’s nuns and monks will provide oral sex to all wedding attendees.

“The Happiness party also redefined adultery as ‘Sexual activity with anybody but clergy, a family member, or porn performer.’ If you want to screw anybody who isn’t family or a church employee you need to pay them, record your fuck session on video, and post it to the internet.”

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